Dealing with hormonal pregnant women: don't make them feel crazier ~ Almost a dad

Dealing with hormonal pregnant women: don't make them feel crazier

Around 9:30 last night my beautiful and wonderfully pregnant wife tried to strike up a conversation with me while I was embroiled in some intense typing. It was basically a pregnancy snack request, but her approach was a little rough and somewhat out of the blue. The conversation went something like this:

"I'd like a candy bar and a back rub," she said to kick things off.
"A candy bar and a back rub?" I replied quizzically looking up from my laptop. She was laying on the floor doing some light yoga to stretch out her back at the time, and looked up at me with a grin that I just couldn't say no to.
"You're crazy. You know that don't you?" I replied with a smile. I turned my attention back to my screen in an attempt to finish my work before I set out to fetch a Three Musketeers.
"Why? I'm hungry," she said playfully.
"I'll go get you a candy bar," I admitted in a tone slightly frosted with defeat.
She shot back with "What, I can't get a back rub?" in a tone sharper than her initial request. I looked up a little disbelievingly.
"You're un-friggin-believable," I said, shaking my head and continuing to type.

As I neared the end of my work I realized that she hadn't said anything in a few minutes. A few minor sniffles perforated the silence of a commercial break on TV and quickly caught my attention.

"Are you crying?" I asked, somewhat disbelieving.
"No." And she wasn't. Not quite yet.
"What's wrong?" I pried.
As soon as she began to respond the waterworks let loose.
"I'm just really uncomfortable and I feel bad asking you to do all these things..."

She continued down her relatively short list of "why I'm crying" in a tone that sounded like an orgy of critically wounded geese, so I didn't pick up a lot of the finer points. I could tell those points didn't really matter. "My back hurts and I'm sorry that I’m hormonal" were the captions of her pregnancy-fueled, hormonally catalyzed mini-melt down.

I sat down next to her and told her that it was okay and I didn’t mind her requests at all, she just has to work with me a little sometimes. I said that I can only imagine all the changes that she’s going through and I’d do anything I could to help her. That made her cry more because she now felt worse that I was being understanding.

“How about I massage you with a candy bar?” She began to laugh. Laughter is a good way to diffuse a pregnant loon. So I rubbed her back for a little while and eased her back pain woes. The candy bar craving passed on its own at some point during the massage.

A few points of pregnancy wisdom I gleaned from this experience:

1. Don’t make a pregnant woman feel worse than she already does. It’s your job to keep quiet. Putting up with her craziness is the male analogy of experiencing hormones directly, it’s just something you have to go trough as part of pregnancy.

2. A pregnant woman may not even be aware she’s acting strange. If she isn’t, then don’t bring it to her attention. She may forget about what she did later on and only remember your reaction. I'm very lucky that my wife at least realizes when she's being irrational.

3. If a pregnant woman wants food, she wants it five minutes ago.

4. Don’t expect an apology from a pregnant woman, and don’t ask for one. If you happen to get one, that’s icing. Just support her lunacy and cravings, and keep in mind that she’s going through a tough time.

200 comments:

Anonymous said...

LMAO! I found a link to your site form Yahoo Answers, Thought I would check it out. I honestly have never laughed so hard in my life! This is me true and true. My poor husband! I am currently 9 Months pregnant and act the same way and like your wife realize im doing it which kinda makes it worse sometimes lol. I really enjoyed reading this and Im surely going to browse through the rest of your sight! Good luck to you and your wife and Congrats on your soon to be new arrival!

Anonymous said...

OMG, my experience exactly right down to the laptop!

Anonymous said...

I have been married for three months, and my wife is 13 weeks pregnant. I agree that we moved really fast in our relationship as we dated for only 4 months before we decided to get married, and found out she was pregnant while doing wedding plans. so we have only been together for alittle over 5 months. She was hit hard with this pregnancy as she has been bed ridden for 7 weeks. She is in pain , vomiting everyhting she eats and nauseated all the time. My wife was a very active person highstrung and full of energy. a very spiritual woman and caring. never missed a sunday of church and she felt and told me many times that she adored me and that she loved truly loved me. I recenlty discovered that i am bipolar which would explain why sometimes i would act the way i would in instances and have episodes of irritability , paranoia , and deperesion and she unfortunately was the one taking this. But despite my episodes, i was and am and a very sweet , caring and loving boyfriend at the beginning and now still as a husband, since she has been ill i have been taking care of her 24/7 except when i am working my fulltime job. I have no life outside of my job and taking care of her. The past two weeks she has turned into a totally different person , she is cold , unfeeling, uncaring , distant and borderline heartless with me, and i feel that the love she once said she had for me is gone, but i ask myself how can you stop loving someone in 5 months? She did tell me a week ago that she was tired of everyhting , but i feel she is saying that she is tired of everyhitng about me. and now she feels trapped and is regretting the marriage and even being pregnant. I even asked her what she wanted and she only said that all she cared about was the baby and getting herself back to normal.and hopefully being the person she once was . and when i asked her what about me ? do you want me to stick around? she said "if you want" ...evryone keeps telling me its a combination of her hormones, the fact her lief has changed so much in such a short period oftime and alittle aloso that maybe she is disappointed about the way ia m , even though i did explain to her that i had found out i was bipolar and that that was the reason for some of my behavior. I really dont know what to do. i truly am a very sweet , caring and loving man that has tried his best to love this woman that i truly fell in love with and now i feel that she has changed her mind after only 5 months together. I do not leave becasue she hasnt asked me to and becasue i feel that it is my responsibility to take care of her and my child. She is 25 yrs old and i am 34 ...so i know there is some age gap there but i never thought she would or anybody for that matter would stop loving someone just like that. I wish i knew what to do or what to think. any advice would be greatly appreciated

Anonymous said...

my girl is 13 weeks along and a week ago she loved me wrote me letter hugged me kissed me now she cant stand me she wants me to move out she says she doesnt love me and all she cares about is the baby she wont even sleep in the same room as me or so much as talk to me god i need help what should i do i cant leave cuz i have to take care of her or thats how i feel and shes been heartless uncaring i mean ive never heard her talk to anybody the way she does me im so lost at what to do

Anonymous said...

I am a pregnant woman currently and yes I am a little hormonal I understand that. I don't notice it while I am getting upset or crying, but once I'm done I do. My boyfriend just doesn't get it. He thinks that I am just always 'b****y' all the time according to his words during our last argument. I can't help it. I feel bad, but shouldn't he? I mean, I didn't do this on my own.

Anonymous said...

My Mrs is 12 weeks pregnant and to be honest it has been a very rough time for both of us. I know that if I'm feeling the way I am, she must feel even worse. It is very hard for both, but I will never be pregnant and will never fully understand what she is going through. I noted some previous posts and their experience, and to be honest it does put it all into perspective.

Men - If you don't have patience, you better get some and real quick.

From the moment your Mrs tells you she's pregnant, you have 2 choices 1) Happy 2) Right.

You can't have both... I know its a crapper but seriously, swallow your pride, smile and don't let it get you down.

Women - Give us a break, most of us are trying, we do love you and are still in love with you, we want to help and......no, we can't read minds :)
:)

Anonymous said...

I knew my girlfriend for about three years prior to us starting a relationship. We were only together for a short time before we became pregnant. In the begining we were very happy, even talked about getting married. I couldn't have been any happier then I was a that time. Soon after she became very sick with "morning" sickness but it was all day for two weeks. I felt so helpless. Soon after that, she decided she didn't want to be in a relationship with me. Now we barely talk and when do it's just about baby and doctor appts. Right now she's 12 weeks. I realize thing's happened fast with us but now I'm lost without my "family".

Bill, almost a dad said...

I'm really sorry to hear everything you're going through. It's got to be really tough to go through that.

The best thing you can do is try and be as involved as possible. Don't give her a valid excuse (you being absent) to not want to be with you. Even if things were to not work out with her, you need to be there for your child.

Keep in mind that she is in a very emotional state. I can't tell you that she will change her mind in the future, but she will change back to more of the person you used to know. She is going through a lot of hormonal changes right now and her outlook on your relationship may change once she gets through this. If you're still standing there supporting her through it all, there's a better chance you'll be with her and your kid when it's all said and done.

Be tough and hang in there. Try and find someone you can talk to, friend, family or counselor, to help keep yourself sane through all this. Let me know how things go.

Anonymous said...

my husband is bi polar & adhd. and i'm currently weeks pregnant my advise to gentle man who is bi polar is get an offical diagnosis and then try to find some meds that work for you. if your constanty tryng to find medication that makes your relationship better. It always help when im pissed at my husband if i go to the doc appoints with him. As for the crazy part i don't think im crazy yet... We have a 5 year old and another on the way. But what pulled us throught the thick and the very thin was that we were commited to each other. Also my husband has a complete fixation of loving me That helps when he's cycling. maybe you need to incourage her to learn about bi polar. also we can't afford councelling but i think anyone with bi polar needs to get councelling for the whole family. problems manifest in strange ways that greatly effect relationships. good luck all... and cheers to us crazy gals!!

Anonymous said...

Man my fiance used to love spending time with me and making love. Now she thinks we spend too much time together and wants to cut down on the sex. Plus shes always moody n will start ussing anf cussing over nothing even if were just talking. Help me please

Anonymous said...

My fiance is 20 weeks and just when I thought I was getting a grip on things and we started to remember why we are together a whole new set of emotions came about. We were together for a few months before becoming engaged and now are questioning the whole thing. The hormones are a blind sided punch from Mother Nature. I don't want to leave and feel that this is a test of our commitment so all I will do is button down the hatches and ride out the storm, hopefully we will come back together when all is said and done. I can only imagine what she is going through.

The Welsh Contingent said...

I love reading this site, it helps so much!!

My wife is now 7 weeks pregnant, and its 3 weeks since we found out.

As soon as we found out, I took over all house duties, been telling myself to keep calm in all circumstances and biting my tongue as much as possible.

The first few days were magical, and then came the sickness. Morning, noon and night and time in between. I tried giving her everything from Travel Calm tablets, to ginger biscuits but she won't listen and refuses them. Now we are at a not eating stage, and when miraculously she does eat there is no way on this earth that it can be something in the house - apart from fruit!!

The past week of not eating, vomiting and continous sleeping has left me somewhat worried, but people...... well, her mother.... keep telling me its all natural. I know she will be very tired as her body is creating a new human being, but in bed for 4 days only getting up to vomit, urinate and check where I am doesn't seem natural to me, especially as I don't remember my mother being like that on any of my 4 of my siblings? (7 years difference between me and the next one down)

But anyway, I did have a "win" last night.

Hormones 0 - 1 Calm Me

No doubt I won the battle, but I have no chance of winning the war!! {;- )

As soon as I saw my wife yesterday evening I knew it was going to be a hormonal night (I have been waiting and waiting for it to kick in, pleased with every day that passes without it) and at some stage I would be all the names under the sun, so I kept my distance as much as possible (keeping my head in the Fatherneed book I have) and tried to keep things light hearted.

Then it started.

She got up from the matress and grabbed the hot water bottle, went to the kitchen and started bashing and slamming it around (maybe the cat cover seemed to be fighting her and she was trying to kill it). And so obviously I asked her "would you like me to do that honey?"
"no" was her response followed with "you said you've been working hard today....." (the rest I tuned out of) and off she stomped upsatirs.

20 minutes later (after toilette and shower) she came back down picked up the water bottle "I see you didn't f*!#ing do this!!"
"Ummm.....well I did ask you if you wanted me to, and you said no" I replied in as calm a voice as possible.
"Well you should bl00dy know what I mean" was her enraged response.

I managed to stop my mouth from smirking, or saying any of the million things running through my brain, but giggled inside.
"Yes darling, I'm sorry" I said, and after another swipe at the cat cover that she seemed to quiten down (maybe reflecting on what she had just said).

Thankfully things calmed down after that and the rest of the night passed calmly, but I have a feeling that I am going to pay for it this evening.

I endeavour to keep my tongue bound and listen to the enraged on-slaught without response, but there is only so much a guy can take at a time, and she really knows how to press the buttons - to battle we shall go.

PS. When I say "battle" I mean the battle to keep quiet and calm.

Anonymous said...

Today we got into a 2 hour fight because my friend didn't look at her while telling me a story over breakfast.

The thing that drives me nuts is that she's always great in public or with other people -- but when we get home she yells at me incessantly.

Has anyone tried telling a pregnant woman that she's being horomonal? I have mixed success with this.

Anonymous said...

So much of this is familiar to me. Me and my man were only together 3 months when I got pregnant. We were (are) in love, so were happy, and decided to marry. But then it felt too rushed, his father began to be rude to me about my parents, and I just couldn't handle it - my hormones were making me feel everything extra-intensely. I was just crying all the time and the pressure of organising a wedding was making me and my man argue and it was awful. I asked to call off the wedding and I was really relieved to do so, as I just wanted to get on with being pregnant and getting used to these massive life changes in peace, without organising a huge party. He is still a bit hurt by this, which has created tension. My hormones have been terrible, I have in effect been pushing him away - it is fear, amplified by hormones, about all these big changes. He doesn't understand how much of it is hormonal and probably thinks he is involved with a witch. I have to be patient and wait for calm to return to me - I am normally such a grounded person. Anyhow, I believe it will be alright, that everything will calm down, that I will become more patient, less intense, hopefully before the birth, but definitely after. Patience seems to be the key. It is very reassuring to read all these blogs as not many people seem to get these intense pregnancy hormones - lots of my friends think I must be unhappy in the relationship, but it's not really that - it's become that. I think we all have to hang in there. Good luck to one and all

Laura said...

To the anonymous fella who asked if he should tell his wife she is being hormonal....

... NO! A HUNDRED TIMES NO!

I am 8 months pregnant and this was/is my fiance's idea of letting me know. He's a bit of a slow learner and is only now starting to realize that it makes the situation worse and has begun to cease the "hormonal rederic".

Keep this last little tidbit in mind - a pregnant woman knows she is hormonal and her moods are not always in her control. However, she has too live with those moods constantly for nine months and beyond when things settle down internally. Men can escape them, albeit temporarily, by stepping out or having a night out.

Great article by the way. I have to show my fiance. He will probably wish he read this months ago.

Meli said...

I am 7 1/2 months pregnant with my second child, and just want you to know that reading this post made me laugh...and then, realizing how completely accurate it is, I began to cry. I'm getting one of those confused looks from my husband right about now... :)

Anonymous said...

Hahaha I am only 8 weeks & 4 days pregnant....but when I read this 1st I started to cry...why?...who knows hahahaha then I laughed. I so understand it all & I hope my boyfriend finds these sites because I feel so horrible for putting him through my hormonal rollercoasters.
-Rogue

Anonymous said...

LOL I so love this story, I'm three months pregnant and I have cried off and on, but I do feel bad for the guys, but it's not only hard on them but for us too.
Great story! Love it!

Cord said...

Bill,

I just want to take a second and say thank you for your posts. My girlfriend and I are about nine weeks along and while we're excited and enthused, things are not the way I thought they would be. I knew about the hormonal changes and the morning sickness and the constipation but I thought they were all quick little flashes between love induced hazes and coo-cooing eachother. Honest to God, I thought it was all happy all the time, and when things started to get difficult, I thought something was wrong with our relationship. It's hard to constantly assess whether it's her true emotions or her hormones that are kicking my ass. Each day is a struggle to maintain the confidence needed to reassure my lover, take the emotional beating, and remember that it will all be worth it. Until I stumbled onto your writings I felt like I was the only man in the world to ever deal with the Pregosaurus Rex. Anyway, man, thanks for the writings, it makes everything a lot easier to deal with.

Anonymous said...

My sister-in-law is pregnant and we've never really been very close (We're A LOT alike). Now that she's pregnant, she's SO hot and cold with me. Either she wants me to leave her alone and not talk to her, or she's chasing after me, begging me to look at something to do with the baby. It's extremely frusterating. I'm a few years older, but I don't have/want children and she throws that around at me all the time when she's feeling hormonal (i.e "You're not very motherly, so you probably won't be watching the baby." or "If you want to play with a baby, you can have your own." ) I'm trying REALLY hard to be supportive but I really want to be a part of her and the baby's life (we live together and have 2 more years on our lease) but I'm not sure when and where I should set boundries our push my limits of what's acceptable. I know she's hormonal, but it's not an excuse to say cruel or mean things to me, like telling me I'm not going to or allowed to be part of the baby's life. I have feelings too! Someone help me!!!!

Anonymous said...

To the girl and her sister in law. I'm going through this and my girl is 5-6 weeks prego. I thought that the problems people had with their prego girl were that the woman was blatantly mean like yelling and screaming for no reason like a monster. I thought the anger was obvious. However, it slowly comes out like its a natural excusable reaction to something you said or did. Then you end up feeling guilty like you were an ass. Later you realize that she was just in her Hyde state of mind. Just wait for her to come back to her Dr. Jeckle state and understand that anything mean that she does or says during her reign as Pregosaurus Rex isn't really her. Don't pay any heed to what mean things she says until a few months after the baby is born. Give her time to become the girl you knew before she was pregnant.

Anonymous said...

To the girl and her sister in law. I'm going through this and my girl is 5-6 weeks prego. I thought that the problems people had with their prego girl were that the woman was blatantly mean like yelling and screaming for no reason like a monster. I thought the anger was obvious. However, it slowly comes out like its a natural excusable reaction to something you said or did. Then you end up feeling guilty like you were an ass. Later you realize that she was just in her Hyde state of mind. Just wait for her to come back to her Dr. Jeckle state and understand that anything mean that she does or says during her reign as Pregosaurus Rex isn't really her. Don't pay any heed to what mean things she says until a few months after the baby is born. Give her time to become the girl you knew before she was pregnant.

Anonymous said...

My fiancee is 12 weeks pregnant and thought she was the only one so crazy lol. I'm happy to hear it's not just her and guess i gotta just keep on trying to hang in there and bite my tongue. Some of the things she says are quite hurtful and didn't know if she meant them or it was just the hormones talking. Glad this site is here and good luck to everyone

Anonymous said...

Well thanks everyone this has brightened my day with a small ray of light and hope!

As a male and with my girlfriend pregnant with our first apparently I can't do anything right. And she feels that I am distant from her.... Well nothing has changed on my end. Having no experience with pregnancy I am trying to do my best not to comment on some of the things that come out of her mouth but man it is difficult with my already sarcastic personality!!

I swear it is like living with Jekyl and Hyde. Just the other night we were relaxing and she was crazy horny so we had sex several times. I was happy and she was nothing but smiles then today she sends me an email stating that she's feeling distant from me??? Honestly how am I supposed to react to that? I think she feels distant because twice this week she was very hormonal and I only listened and didn't provide her any feedback...? Anyways,I reassured my love and commitment to her and got no response on that conversation and now onto a new one.

Not to bi#@h here just nice to get it out.

Can someone answer me how much leaway I should allow when it comes to decisions involving our coming baby before I start an argument? i.e. Baby product purchases, name, circumsicion.

thanks and I'll keep my mouth shut and hang in there

Bill, almost a dad said...

A good way of interacting with anyone who is highly emotional is to not get similarly swept up in their emotion. You need to be grounded and "the norm". The more hyped up they get, the more centered you need to stay. If she asks you a pointed question or makes a comment like "I feel distant", simply reply with a cool straight forward response that can calm the situation. Say that you haven't noticed that, but rather you think you've been getting along quite well and you're excited about the future with her and the baby.

As for when to take a stand, I wouldn't just keep your mouth shut, but rather decide what is really important to make a statement about. Those things that are truly important to you are worth standing up for. However, don't let it devolve into something insulting or argumentative. Clearly state your case, try and leave emotion out of it, and present the facts of why you want to do things a certain way. Ask her to explain why she wants certain things and that might help facilitate finding a common ground. Keep in mind that she is entitled to her own opinions regardless of hormonal behavior, but make sure you get your point across as well. There are no absolute answers, but keeping your wits about you and not getting similarly emotional is the best way to approach major decisions.

SMLGIGI said...

This site is a definite godsend!!! The love of my life is so tender at times with her emotions but in a flip second she can become the devil...!!!At times even threatening our being together. It scares me so much!! I love her to death and after reading the posts on this site, it leaves nothing but hope in our future together! thank you oh so much!!! im almost in tears im so happy.

Anonymous said...

Yet again....the emotional roller coaster rolls again!! To "Bill, almost a dad", your reply was top notch and I've definitely been told the same before. Its so damn hard at times though to hold back. Especially when your shot down and demeaned so bad, that it makes you even question yourself. All in all, ive SCREWED up again, but again i come to this blog to bring myself back down to Earth. Man o man this is tough. Great great site!

Anonymous said...

omg, my gf kicked me out of my own house during her 4th month. they lose a piece of their brain during pregnancy. and no matter what happens your always wrong and they make you look like a big jerk!! lmao--good luck guys, i only have 6 weeks to go and im out of the woods !!!! ahoooo hooooo!!! ps...the kick out only lasted a week, were ok now as long as i be quiet, lol

liam said...

thank god i say for this site we are having our first and i wonder why anybody would want to have a second after just 8 and a half weeks, i feel like im goin 200 rounds with mike tyson, the emotions are wild, within a minute or 2 apart she can be cinderella one minute and the next frankenstein, sometimes i find a trip out to the car and a very loud roar obviously not in the vacinity of prego usually calms me i tried to ask why she is this way only once and i swore to myself after about 2 hrs of her explaining this to me as to why i shudnt have asked i say explaining when really it was more screaming laughing and crying and a face full of food,

Thankyou so much for this site before this i felt i was only one dealing with a constant fight.

irish liam

Maryam said...

OK OK OK OK. ENOUGH EVERYONE. YA'LL KILLING. I HAVE 2 KIDS AND ONE ON THE WAY. THANK GOD. A FRIEND OF MINE HAD 3 AND ONE WHO PASSED AWAY, SO IT WOULD HAVE BEEN 4. THAT WOMAN IS CRAZY ABOUT HER HUSBAND. AND I DONT KNOW BETWEEN HER AND I WHO IS CRAZIER ABOUT THEIR HUSBAND. I SPEND HOURS THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE MY HUBBY. BUT BOTH MY FRIEND AND I, IN THE TOTAL 7 PREGNANCIES WE HAD FELT THE SAME WAY AROUND THE FIRST TRIMESTER. WE FELT LIKE WE HATED OUR HUSBAND, WANTED TO SEE THEM DEAD, MADE US NAUSEOUS, WE JUST COULD NOT SEE THEM. BUT WHAT WE HAD IN COMMENT IS THAT WE KNOW IT WAS TEMPORARY. IT WAS THE HORMONES. ITS REAL. WE HAD TO FORCE OURSELVES TO NOT SHOW THESE MEN THESE FEELINGS. BUT THAT IS US. SOME WOMEN DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THAT. YOU JUST HAVE TO BE PATIENT AND GIVE IT TIME. I AM NOT TALKING FOR EVERYONE'S SITUATION, BUT MOST OF YOU IS GOING THROUGH THAT. AND AFTER THE FIRST TRIMESTER, YOU WILL SEE A HUGE CHANGE.

Anonymous said...

my girlfriend is 10 wks and 3 days. right now I am down my place cooling off from another hormonal battering!! I really want to go up to hers but feel I will only incur her wrath. I’m glad (sorry) to hear I’m not the only one going through this. I am trying my hardest to be supportive and caring but it seems everything I do is wrong, I don’t know which way to turn as I know I will get my arse handed to me.
I thought this would be great and would bring us even closer but I feel like I’m losing the women I love to this hormonal monster that is pregnancy!! I too pictured lots of cuddles and kisses throughout this watching our baby grow before our eyes but instead I get no sex no cuddles or kisses at all and she seems repulsed by me, each time I go near her it makes her sick!

what is your best advise with handling a hormonal lady as I’m trying to understand but am constantly told "YOU DONT UNDERTAND" I hope this blows over, it’s getting me down!! I’m in another country away from all my family and friends and have no one to turn too.
please advise me
thanks

Anonymous said...

The guy that left the comment on Dec.22 20009.
I feel your pain!!!!

my g/f is 11 weeks. It started off good we were happy with everything and then just out of know where things changed for the worst!! She starts getting sick all through the day...

everything i do is not right to her she moved in with her dad to be stress free...and i even got i dont love you no more...so as that was said i thought to myself didnt we plan this? a baby? and now you dont know if you love me?

Im down an out ppl i have no idea what to do! This is our first child some what hurts not to be around all the time im praying that its these hormones taking over her i love this person dearly.

Maryam said...

All I can say is try to explain to them that a lot of women go through that. If they truly love you they will try to cope with it. A lot of marriages end because of that and people dont regret it until after. Give them books on how pregnancy hormones can make you feel. Be kind and give them resources to understand. That's all. Me, I had to look for myself. I was thinking there is no way I start hating my husband for no reason. That is how I found out. And by asking other women. Encourage them to learn. Knowledge is the key, ignorance never helps.

Anonymous said...

Has anyone experienced a change in how their significant other views her own family? I feel that they can do no wrong with the things they do, things they buy for the baby etc. and anything from my family/friends is either "OK" or almost expected. Her mom will buy an outfit and she will go on and on about how cute the thing is. My poor mom feels completely out of the loop, as my wife is latching onto her own mother a little too much.

Any input from someone who is or who has experienced this?

Maryam said...

The person who left the comment on December 30th, I dont really understand the question?

Anonymous said...

I am about 12 1/2 weeks pregnant right now and have been pretty sick since week 5. My fiance has been extremely supportive and I try to tell him so each time I notice that he's doing something for me that is really above and beyond. Since I have been so sick, I haven't been my usual self with wanting to go out to dinner or get out of the house as much; it just seems like so much work for me when I could get sick at any moment and the rest of the time I'm walking around feeling like I have the flu. I know that he must feel crazy, like he's locked up in the house with nothing to do; I try to tell him that he should go hang out with friends if he wants, but he just hangs around the house with me and goes stir-crazy. The worst part is, he keeps making comments about how I don't want to do anything anymore, how I don't get dressed up for him anymore, how I'm lazy all the time; I've tried to explain to that on days it's a struggle to get out of bed without immediately having to run to the bathroom that it's a lot of extra work that seems unnecessary to me to get all "dolled up" to throw up all day. I know that eventually I'm going to start feeling better (at least I hope I am), and I keep trying to tell him that. I don't know how to make him understand that it's so hard when you feel extremely sick all the time to feel motivated to do anything else. He just doesn't understand, and I know that it's also hard for him because there is nothing he can do to make me feel any better. Any suggestions on what I can do to make this easier on him?

Maryam said...

Well, little mama, first, I want to say I hope soon y'all get married. Its the right thing to do. But... ok. moving on. He should really be the one trying to find ways to make you feel better. You are the one suffering. I have 2 kids and 7 months pregnant now, so I know. But, since you are asking, you should kindly explain to him what you just explained to us and give him so literature to read on it. Make him understand that you really feel bad that you can't be the woman he wants you to be, but you are going through some rough times and he should try to understand at least a little bit or it will make pregnancy be a really bad experience for both him and you. Get him books or search the internet and print things out. Ask him to support as he has been doing before you got pregnant instead of making you feel bad because you cant help feeling sick. (but be gentle as much as you can so you dont hurt his feeling). Thirdly tell him you are ready to get married so God can be pleased with you. Y'all having a baby, ya love each other, there is no reason to wait another year. (Smile). I hope you feel better and dont worry, before you turn 5 months, you should feel a whole lot better then you can be active again. Tell him girl....

Anonymous said...

To the lady whose partner is moaning about her not wanting to get dressed up and go out, I say that you should make a deal with him...... every time you are sick he has to stick his fingers down his throat and make himself sick so he feels your pain and then understands why you don't really want to go out, but then if he still does want to then suggest you will try your best, but the site of x, y or z could send you (both) running to the toilet.

To a lot of the others on here saying about their wives/ girlfriends beating them (verbally), my wife is now close to full term and I've been through the mill at times with her, then a wise old woman (namely my dear mother) pointed out that it is natures way of making sure your going to be a father and not run when the going gets tough, although the female doesn't recognise this. So, if possible, when she is ranting and raving try and tell you it is mother natures way of testing you, and her way of "protecting the brood"....... and yes I know it is easier said than done. The best things I have learnt from this site are "Yes Dear" and/ or "of course dear" {;- )

Maryam said...

Lmao. That was funny. I have been telling them here the same thing. I am pregnant and want to give my husband hell, but I hold it in. Some woman cant. Simple.

Anonymous said...

Haha that is me to a T!!!! I'm 7 months pregnant & crazy.....but have a awesome partner that understands that......though he has a sister (who i wish would read this) who says she understood all this when i first fell pregnant as she has had mates that have been pregnant & crazy & now is expecting me to say sorry too her cause she is a little sooky lala....partner has explained too her that this is what pregnant women do...soooooooo cant wait till she falls pregnant one day cause her hormones will go crazy & i shall say "well do u remember the time?" well that is if she ever talks to me again....cause theres nooooo way im saying sorry!!!
I do though feel very sorry for all friends & family that have to put up with pregnant women....in the words of my partners best mate...if she says the sun is black then it's black lol

Maryam said...

LOl. That was funny. But, you must keep good relations with your sister in law. Like you said, she will understand one day, when she gets pregnant. And its not a big deal for you guys not to talk to each other. Really.

daniel said...

hey guys, my wife is currently 3 months pregnant and i couldn't be happier but her moods are all over the place and i don't know what do. before she feel pregnant we had a fantastic relationship she loved to be around me and vis versa and it was like this till about a month and a half in to the pregnancy and she started to be a bit off with me and then she and called off our wedding , and now just the other day she told me she doesn't love me anymore and at times she hates to be around me but she said she might love me again someday, she still wants us to stay together and pretend nothing is wrong. now im scared im going to lose her she keeps saying that no matter what she wont take the baby away from me but i dont want to lose her ether. can anyone help me please if there is anyone who has been though the same then can they please contact me on dld89@hotmail.com i just need to know if after the baby is born will our relationship go back to the way it was.

Marco said...

Hey Guys

well I have finally got past the 3 month stage now on 24 week Praise the Lord I would never have survived without him, I was sure that was the end of it and i was almost looking forward to it she put me through hell I slept on the sofa for nearly all of 4 months argued constantly everday and I mean arguing I was seriously thinking of leaving I had had enough. So guys if you are still in it I feel for you bros sincerely hang in there she will soon be over it and back to her old self actually she is even happy than before I keep reminding her of the hell she put me through Forget the hormones from sister and mother I have been told its all just a big joke they are just seeing how far they can go hmmm be careful with that though tread carefully. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Anonymous said...

February 27th 2009 was my last comment. Now that the dust has settled and a year later, all I can say is: at the end of the day...I'm a dad. It's greatest feeling in the world. I smile just thinking about it. I have a son that I thank God for. As for mom, we are back together now and slowly working on issues that we/I had. I would agree that hormones made her alittle more nuts, but the rest was all her...which are the "issues" were working on. Faith and good friends got me through some really tough times...oh and one more thing, the constant thought that kept ringing in my head, "at the end of the day...I will be a dad".

Anonymous said...

hi have been reading this site and im glad im not alone !!!my g friend is 11 weeks and she has left me twice now !!i just cant seem to do enough for her i ask whats wrong and if i can do anything but she just ignors me and stares into thin air!we have been together 7 months and she has moved in with me and it seems all she wants to do is run back to her town which is only about 25 miles away i seem to be on my own alot and cant do anything right her friend told me she hates it living with me is this just hormones??? help!!!

Anonymous said...

As everybody else here I was about to loose my mind!!!
My wife is 19 weeks right now, and let me start how we used to be...
We were like teenagers in love, couldn't be one minute appart without calling or texting eachother.
We planned to have this baby so its something we both wanted, and we succeded! About 4 weeks later, her attitude changed.
She stopped texting and calling, when I did she would find an excuse not to talk to me...hmmmm that was weird! Then she stopped
saying she loves me (ok?????) Then a few days after she let me have it good! She said she doesn't love me and she hates me!!!!
My world came crushing in front of me, I was shocked, scared, angry, confused.... Like how the heck does someone stop loving somebody
who they planned a family with and loved with all their heart?!?!
I kept asking and asking and trying to talk just to get a "I don't wanna talk about it" man was that frustrating!
I couldn't call her anymore because she didn't want me to, couldn't talk to her in person because she would just give me a dirty look and move away from me.
And I kept asking myself why is this happening? Did I do something wrong? Did she meet someone? She even said she regrets getting married to me, she wanted out of marriage
She regreted getting pregnant by me. And ohhhhhh man what didn't cross my mind, let her have the divorce, move out and all that stuff. But something inside me kept me from doing anything stupid....
I guess it was the thought that I'm having a child with this woman who I love more than I love myself and I kept telling her that I will never, NEVER give up on us!
And thank god I didn't. I wanted to talk to someone but who I thought?
And then it hit me GOOGLE IT!!!!! Heheheheh so everyday at work I'd be googling this, heheh
and then I realized I'm NOT the only one and this is normal for some women, man did I feel better, so since I found out its the hormones I knew that wasn't her talking and throwing things at me, yeah I've had things thrown at me, food, cups, bottles(glass bottles)
but luckily I've dodged the harder and heavier things LOL.
Annnyyyway I was doing all I could to make her feel better, if she felt like arguing I would just calmly tell her I love her to whatever she would say, or just tell her I'm sorry for whatever even if it wasn't my fault.
Gentlemen, hang in there don't give up, don't leave her, give her space if she needs it anfd asks for it, otherwise smother her with compliments and tell her how beautiful she is, some women feel or see themselves ugly or fat or unattractive in a time like this, mine did
but to me she was never prettier and more sexier than now, the woman I love is carrying my child, I don't know but it doesn't get better than that to me....
What else worked for me was long drives out of the city into the mountains into the nature, and my precious wife was back while we were driving. Try to act silly, make her laugh try to put her in a good mood but don't point out the hormonal clusterfu*k she's going through, makes things
worse, trust me!!!
Right after her first trimester she started coming back even tho she has her moments now and then and she says she loves me and cares and is excited about our family. So guys please be there for your ladies, we'll never know how they feel and we are the ones who can think clear and not make any
dumb decisions.

By the way some of you call your wifes pregosaurus rex, good one I call mine pregzilla and now she finds it funny

Jennifer said...

Well after having a hormonal breakdown today I had allot of concern that im pushing my boyfriend away. I'm just hitting my 20wk mark and this is not my first out lash of the "Pregosaurus Rex" as one of the bolgers so well put it(that made me laugh out loud cuz it is o'so true). Reading all these blogs really helped me allot today.So for all of you that posted thank you! After my outlash today I was looking for something to make since of my madness and came across this site. I truly love my boyfriend and want him to know that I'm happy that he is going to be the father of the baby but I think with my constant digging for dirt, crying, asking him if he still loves me or why is he even wants to be with me maybe driving him mad or pushing him away. Even tho I can't speak for him I can only imagine all this is very hard to deal with. I promise I'm a very strong woman normally but as of lately I don't feel strong at all. Infact Im very needy for attention and are dealing with some major insecurities, plus i cry all the time over the littlest things. I pray to GOD that he is strong enough and loves enough to still wanna be here but it's hard to know when a person can only deal with so much. I really really am sorry and I know he may think differently I do trust him more than I have ever trusted any one. GOD Bless all the new families out there and men stay strong for us women... we may not admit it all the time but we need you more than you will ever know.

Doug said...

Just a quick note firstly to Jennifer - I do hope that you will firstly tell your partner what you have told the blog, but also show him the site, it is a great read.

To everyone else - Now that my son is 4 months old I think all the "aches" that the women put the males through is a test for when baby arrives!!!

Anonymous said...

I have known my girlfriend (or ex maybe) for about 8 years. The first 3 years it wasn't a serious relationship and we stopped talking for a year. After the year, she searched me out and we started dating again. I told her from the beginning that i wanted a child someday and after two years we got engaged. Then her oldest child started to have sezuires and she became depressed and the relationship went a little south. She has three children from a previous relationship which was abusive. The father of the children died (he killed himself) before i met her. Anyhow, I bought a house and a car for her and have treated her children like my own. I took her two boys, for example, to Los Angeles from Chicago three months ago. She got pregnant (not planned, but i was happy anyhow) and after 6 months she broke up with me. Her whole family has called me and told me that i should wait for her. Im confused as to whether this is real or hormonal. you can call be Mr. Confused when you reply

Bill, almost a dad said...

Dear Mr. Confused,

My suggestion is to wait. You sound like a good guy, which makes me think you already know what the right thing to do is, now you just need to do it. You've been there for her and her kids before, so don't stop. My bet would be that it's hormonal, but that aside, you should be there for her for two reasons:

The first reason is that if you truly love her, all the things you've listed, (child with seizures, abusive relationship, ex's suicide, depression, etc.) are all reasons why she needs you to not give up on her. Mix in hormones you've got a woman who is likely very confused. Don't be another strike against her, be a source of strength for her. Give her space, but don't give up on her. She'll appreciate it in the long run.

The second reason is that she's pregnant with YOUR child. Regardless of what happens between the two of you, that little baby is still yours. Don't confuse the relationship between you and your girlfriend with the one between you and your child. Support her because she's the mother of your child. Make sure she's getting the care she needs and that you're there, silently if need be, to support her when she needs it. That child will always be your child, so make she he/she has a good life right from the start.

I know it's a very difficult situation, and I wish you the best of luck.

- Bill

Anonymous said...

From mr. Confused,

thank you bill for your comments. I do truly love her and that's exactly what I'm doing now...waiting and giving her space. I haven't spoken with the kids in a while and was wondering on whether I should call them. I speak to her sister about once every two weeks and was thinking of having her bring me the kids to some place to eat pizza or whatever to tell them that I love them and that the only reason that I'm not coming around is that sometimes when women get pregnant they need space. (I won't elaborate more than that). And to tell them that if they need to call me they can do so at anytime. I honestly feel like um their father. What u think? Or should I wait until d baby is born? The next ultrasound is aug 3 and the baby is due aug 27

Bill, almost a dad said...

Being more direct is better, but I would check with the sister what she thinks about you seeing the kids and see if she can facilitate. I think that's a good way to handle things with them as well. Tell them you love them and don't go into too much detail.

As for the pregnancy, I would try and get involved if you can. You mentioned the ultrasound, I would try and go if it wouldn't end up as world war 3. Make sure she knows that you're doing it out of interest in the baby and don't even try and approach the subject of the two of you. Tell her that it's your child as well and by supporting her you're supporting the baby.

It's your child regardless of your relationship with her, and you love her birth children like your own. Again, be patient but don't be too passive that things that you love are taken from you.

Anonymous said...

This post cheered me up! I am 18 weeks pregnant and am just starting to feel the effects of the hormones - feeling lonely and sorry for myself, waking up at 4:30 am and not being able to get back to sleep, crying for no reason, etc. My fiance is too preoccupied with other things to notice. Guys - a word of advice - be empthatic. If your partner looks a little down, hug her and comfort for her and listen to her when she talks to you. That alone might prevent the sadness from turning into craziness.

Anonymous said...

Thank God for this website! My fiance is hitting 12 weeks on Monday. She hasn't talked to me in 4 weeks. Prior to that, she was distancing herself from me. Every time anyone, including her father, asks her what's going on on with us or the wedding, she gets really upset. She hasn't told me she loves me in 3 weeks. I'm hoping that the second trimester will make a difference for her. She doesn't talk to any of her friends anymore. I know this because they call me to ask what's up with her. This is her first pregnancy. Prior to her getting pregnant, we were inseparable. We were planning a fall wedding. We were talking about our future. Now, I can't even get her to respond to a text! What makes it worse is that we live 2 hours apart. Please tell me that this will get better soon! I'm losing my mind and trying to stay strong. She keeps telling everybody that they just need to leave her alone. She has a few job and family related issues that came up at the same time as getting pregnant, so I know she is stressed out from those as well. I just can't understand how she would ignore the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Will this get better?

Anonymous said...

From Mr. Confused,

I'm almost a dad. The doctors say that she will most likely be induced tuesday but she is the same or worse. She hates the sight of me and we communicated mostly by text. Bill, could this still be hormones? I dont get it? Her sister invited me to the baby shower last week and my girlfriend (or ex) just gave me dirty looks the whole time and wouldnt even get close to me. Everyday just gets worse not better.

Anonymous said...

Mr Confused,

That does not sound good at all. My fiance (at least I think she still is) starts her second trimester next week. Hopefully, she'll start evening out. I hope your girlfriend levels out once the baby is here.

Anonymous said...

Unbelievable! Thought I was going crazy. My partner is about 15 weeks, and things have been pretty hard lately to the stage where she has been spending time apart from me. It feels as if everything I do is wrong and when I question things it gets worse. I love her so much but have been feeling that she doesn't love me at all, which i have been asking her about. I think by reading these articles I can see that I am aproaching this all wrong. I will have to just let things go and help out as much as I can, even when some of the things she says are very hurtful, that really gets to me but after reading this maybe I can assume she doesn't really mean all them things? I hope, because I love her and want to be there for her and our new child. It's not easy when nothing you do gets noticed, except for anything thats not right. Thats the way I feel and I'm sure she has it worse.

Anonymous said...

Dude... You're not going crazy. I'm at 6 weeks now since my fiance has talked to me. Just believe that she loves you and doesn't mean everything she says. Be there when she wants you to be, and don't be there when she wants space. I've learned the hard way that if you keep asking her what's wrong, or what you did wrong, or anything like that, you come off as being needy and annoying. Just ride it out. Things will look up. My girl is showing signs of coming back. We are at 14 weeks now. Just keep your head up and let it roll... We men have no idea what it's like to pregnant and deal with hormones and body changes. At the end of the nine months, it'll be over, and you'll be a dad!

gary_ Testosterone for Men said...

LOL! so true!

Anonymous said...

I am facing the same exact problems as most of you are. I have been with my girlfriend for almost a year now. I've known her almost my whole life, and it's actually my best friends sister. She is 16 weeks pregnant right now and things have not been good at all lately. We use to be inseperable, and now it's pretty much a fight just to get her to text me back or even to hang out. She told me she needs her space, so i'm obviously trying to give her space and be there for her at the same time. I love her so much and I just don't understand why it seems like she wants nothing to do with me anymore. I need some advice asap!

Anonymous said...

This website really shed some light on some of the things going on with my wife and I. My wife is about 16 weeks pregnant and things are beginning to get pretty interesting. Recently she's been on this new kick about spying on me electronically. When I leave for work, she goes on to my computer and looks up my browsing history. She also logs onto my email, checks them, and then goes onto my facebook. I am completely open with her and don't mind giving her my passwords for these things. I have nothing to hide, but she makes it seem like I am doing something.

Just this morning, I woke up to her sitting on the bed with a concerned look on her face. She asked me why I had visited a porn site. This struck me as odd since I haven't visited one since we got married almost a year and a half ago. I bought my computer when I was single and well, like most single men, look at some retarded websites. Unfortunately, my computer is infested with shareware and other things which randomly bring pop ups of porn sites up. It's pretty embarrasing saying this, but it helps bring the relization of the story together.

I understand that her hormones are on edge at the moment and that she is feeling very insecure about her body. The last thing I would do is look at porn. During her daily ritual of spying, a pop up came up and she immediately assumed that I was looking at porn. I attempted to reason with her, which, in hindsight, was a huge mistake. She believed that I was lying.

I tried to discuss her hormones with her, but that led to me saying she was crazy. In order to attempt to show her this, I pulled out my camera and began video taping her. I did it in a very discreate way. After about an hour of some very hurtful words, I decided to go ahead and show her the video.

She was floored and asked me to delete it.

Basically, I may have found a good way to show your wife that she may be acting funny through showing her how she acts. Sometimes telling her that she acts a certain way doesn't help. When she saw herself acting this way and saying the things she said, she told me, "Please delete that. I seem so mean. I don't want people to see me when I'm that mean" She immediately appologized and the morning got better instantaneously.

Just an idea to other expecting fathers...get a video camera...record them when you can...play it back so they can actually see themselves acting differently as opposed to trying to talk it through with them.

-Expecting father

george said...

^^^^^ Ha ha haaaaa.... I DARE YOU!!! Good in concept, suicidal in execution.

Like a lot of posts, my gf and I are early in our relationship, 5 months. She is 16 weeks along and is VERY difficult to deal with. I thought it was worse than what others had to deal with but apparently I am wrong.

The littlest thing sets her off and then she goes on these rants of how she doesn't care, she hates me, bla bla bla......I stay calm. But then she attacks me with the type of verbal abuse that would get a man thrown in jail for domestic violence. I am not kidding. I can only bite my tongue for so long and then I stand up for myself. Which usually leads to me realizing that its going nowhere so I grab the dog and go for a walk. A LOOOOOOOONNNNGGGG walk!! lol

When I return, its the silent treatment, which continues through the next day. By this time I'm trying to suck up and fly under the radar. She wants no part of me and if looks could kill???? I'd be dead a hundred times over.

If I make it through this, I will be happy. I just hope we can make it through together. She talks about leaving me all the time. Hormones at fault or not, its very convincing and hurtful.

Not much of a lip or tongue left to bite anymore and the end of the road is NOWHERE in site.....

Anonymous said...

LOL i'm very happy to see i'm not alone in this World!! WOW!!!

My girlfriend and i broke up about 5 times and now she's due on February 2011 and we are still not a couple. Like all the posts, it changed at the start when we learned we will have a baby. I'm trying to stay focus even if i don't feel she loves me but i my mind, i hope it is hormonal because everything i'm doing is wrong.She's always saying i don't understand her bla bla bla... Well, i hope when the baby will arrive things will change!!

I sure hope so...

Anonymous said...

I don't know why women act like this when there pregnant but they do! My girlfriend and I have been broken up for a couple of weeks now, and we never had any problems until she found out she was pregnant. A couple weeks after we found out she was pregnant everything just went downhill. We barely talk anymore, and she wants me to be a part of the babies life, I just don't understand why she's doing this to me, when we have even talked about getting married. I'm hoping she realizes what she's missing soon and I really hope it's the hormones doing this to her.

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for the insight!!! I really appreciate this post. I am struggling to just bite my tongue and just give in. I'm only 8 weeks in and I realize that she must be going through a lot of changes right now. It just seems so difficult to discuss things in a rational manner. I'm always getting my head chewed off as if I'm a 12 yr old child. When I comment...I'm accused of being a "victim" crazy!!!!
It helps to know that this is quite normal behavior.

Anonymous said...

I need a pregnant woman's advice! I have been with my girlfriend for a little over a year now. We had tried tto get pregnant and were unsuccessful and decided to put it off and then accidentaly did. I am absolutely in love with this girl and i thought she felt the same. She used to go out of her way to sho me how much she cared for me and now it is the complete opposite. She started being very distant and always seems to be upset with me. Know at times i cab be a little pushy but if i even mention how ibfeel she automatically gets mad and get extremely defensive ivtell her all the time how much I care for her and how bad i want tovsettle down and start a family which were things she used to mention she wanted, but she just brushes it off like it means nothing to her. I don't wany to lose my relationship whatsoever and all I ask if for reassurance and for her to show me sometimes that she does want to be with me but that too seems to piss her off. She had broken up with me because she "needed tobfigure things out" And after pulling the asshole card she came running back and nowbit is back to the way it was when she broke of off. Please if you hhave any advice on how to keep the good in my relationship let me know. Thank you :)

Jason said...

Wonderful blog! The other day my wife and I were visiting my parents in rural Virginia, 20 miles away from civilization. My wife sees a commercial for pizza and begins to talk about how she wants some, but never asking for it. When she finally asks for it I go get some (45 minutes in the car for her to have two slices...she still has a bit of morning sickness). Today she admits to me that she almost broke down crying because I didn't volunteer to get her pizza (once again, a 45 minute drive). It is absolutely wild how much both the body and the mind transform during pregnancy.

Logan Wallace said...

Hey Bill. You're posts are great! I especially love this one. I was laughing out loud at the massaging her with a candy bar comment! Hilarious. I referenced some of that article and included a link to your blog on my blog www.wonderfulwhoopsie.com

Thanks for your inspirations and great advice and stories.

Anonymous said...

These blogs are all brilliant help and as a woman who is 21 weeks pregnant I am very comforted to hear that I am not the only person who is being taken over by these awful mood swings.

My poor partner is still in army training so currently we rarely see each other. The weekends that we get together are usually so special and loving but I can feel my emotions changing and I put so much pressure on him that i am surprised (as we are not yet married) that he hasn't run for the hills.

I feel incredibly needy and constantly want to talk about our future to reassure myself that we will be ok and that i shouldn't worry but, despite his best efforts, there is nothing he can say that seems to help. I spent our past weekend together constantly on the verge of tears and I could tell that I was looking for him to do or say something wrong so that I could pick a fight. It is all completely against my nature and I know that it is due to hormones and generally feeling vulnerable but I am now worried that he might think this is the real me?!?

Can anyone recommend a good book for men that explains that hormones and mood swings are out of our control and to help him learn how to deal with me for the next four months?

S town said...

I enjoyed reading everyones post it made me feel better that i wasnt the only one going through the hard parts of pregnancy! My girlfriend showed me the page one day while we were arguing.. It gave me alot of insight on the way i was feeling. Im the type of guy who gives his all in everything i do, so when the mrs gave off the impression that i no longer was of importance to her , imagine how i felt! Wait! Fathers to be that is your first mistake! Imagine how i felt?!??? Ya right!! Its all about her felllas. So if u wana keep your mrs happy. Put your feelings in a deep dark cave for 9 months.

Anonymous said...

OMG I know how you all feel! im a 28 year old lad and i have been with my girlfriend a year and a half, she is older than me she is 38, she fell pregnant and at the time we were both happy and said that we loved eachother loads.. she has gone from being a lovey girlfriend to a nightmare! i try and do everything for her, i do all the housework, i walk her dog and try to do everything i can to help her thru this tough time she is going thru, i feel im at a never ending battle and its easier just to say yes to things and let her have her own way, i hate it as im usually a proud person who doesnt back down, but this girl has got me by the curlies and i still have ages to go, im dreading the worse stages of hormones and ill never understand a womans pain thru pregnancy, but i agree with most guys, were not mind readers and unfortunately my girlfriend thinks i am and if i dont do the right things boy do i know about it! HELP!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow! I wish I had found this blog a few months ago and well to be honest it's all true. You're wife is a lucky lady. My fiance left me 3 almost 4 weeks ago. I'm glad I know now that this whole process has been a rollercoaster shin I'm not the only passenger on. It's been trying and reading your blog is sooooo helpful. It's men like you that should sit down with these "boys" of today and tell them just how trying these points are for us. Thank you so mug for having an understanding for us pregnant ladies.

Daniel mandeville said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Please help me! I am about to snap!

I really can't tell what I got myself into? I love my girlfriend so so much, I'm really at wits end with her and I just can't tell if she is being a brat, immature, if she really does have mental problems, or if it is just hormones but I just can't tell what the he'll is wrong with her and Ian about to lose it. All my friends that I constantly talk to about my situations that have had children say some of this stuff is not normal. So I would like to explain a little of my situation for some feed back. Someone please listen I'm going crazy.... Seriously.

So I'm 26 years old and I was kind of a wild child and a little bit of a trouble maker until the summer of 2010 when I made a change in myself for the absolute best. I worked a lot so I evenly spread my money out so I could survive and have a little fun for a while until I really figured out which road I wanted to take and stop working dead end jobs and wasting money on school. We met at the end of the summer and we had an instant connection. I told her up front my situation and how I set stuff up for myself. She was really cool with it. So we dated for a while but I told her I needed some time to work on myself. So we split for a few months. I didn't date or sleep with any other girls while we were apart. But we got back together our connection was still strong so we moved in and very shortly after she was pregnant while taking birth control. We were very happy and I still am that I'm having a child but not so sure to be with her. In the past two months it's been hell I have been left in the middle of nowhere stranded for three days, cussed out daily saying stuff like I'm the divest person in the world, she wishes I was dead, no one will hire me bc I'm so stupid. But I landed a killer job that pays a little over 5,500 a month will give us a furnished apartment for three months till we get ourselves together and get started and my father offered to pay for a house after the three months if we like the area. I'm so stressed out bc she stopped working the moment she found out she was pregnant, she wants to be a stay at home mom which doesn't bother me but pretty much told me to invest in this pyramid scam or she will leave me, I'm stuck with all of her bills including cost for classes she degrades me when I try and tell her can it wait till I start my job and calls me a piece of shit. She won't take the apartment idea bc she wants a house right now. Matter of fact when I told her the idea she said f u opened the car door and walked off. Daily I'm called an ass hole and jerk and get stuff thrown me. I didn't mention I seriously do everything In the world for her except tie her shoes not exaggerating one bit, and get food on command. Last night was the icing on the cake we were watching tv and all of a sudden she says quick get the flash light my dog got bit by something , and I told her I left it in your car bc the power was out and I couldn't see last night. And I said give me the dig I will put him under the light. The first thIng she said was your a fing pig and I can't believe u left it there and some more words like how much of a p.o.s. I was. And I snapped and said a few curse words bc I got so mad after all I do for her and all the money I don't have I spend on her. So I walked in the room to get my pants bc I wanted to cool off and walk around and she poped me with a retractable dog leash so I said some more cuss words and left. Sorry for unloading my life story on you guys but I had to complain to someone or maybe get a little advice.

Anonymous said...

Wow - So I am not the only one with problems lol.

I will keep it short and sweet. My girlfriend and I have had a rocky relationship for over 2 years and had numerous 'breaks'. We get back together 2 or 3 weeks later and its all bells and whistles. We got back together in Novemebr and it really did feel different - like we had put the past behind us!...In January she fell pregnant and within 6 weeks everything changed. I'm bloody useless with women at the best of times....all those emotions and hormones confuse the hell out of me & I struggled being at fault with everything I did. One example springs to mind...'you never take me out and treat me well anymore'....A week later I get paid and plan a slap up meal....'Why are you spending money like this? don't you realise we have a baby on the way?'
Trying to talk it through enrages her and claming up has the same effect! She has now ended the relationship because I was not being the 'supportive' person she needed and has made me get councelling to sort my issues out -If I don't she will not take me back!
Has anyone got any ideas? Im lost!!!!

Anonymous said...

To all of you men sticking it out for your pregnant girlfriends/wives...I ADMIRE YOU!! I was married VERY young and left the marriage with my children about 4yrs ago due to all of the emotional/verbal abuse..normally coming from the nightly drinking. That being said, I have been in 2 relationships over the past 4 yrs...one was short lived. The other I'm in now...well, kind of. I wasn't even looking when it happened. I have been so focused on healing and taking care of my kids that I didn't feel like there was time for a relationship. Well, I ran across a young man that is associated with my work. We met and he was VERY MUCH the gentleman. He is also 10yrs younger than me. I fought my feelings..thinking it was crazy..but the love and affection was so nice to have. Well, that was 4 1/2 months ago. I found out I was pregnant about 3 weeks ago (today I'm 9weeks pregnant) and now all the love and affection has all but dissapeared. I guess his "I love you's" where not as real as he made them out to be...and after receiving a text telling me that he wants to be my friend and have a relationship (no dating) for the child...He HAS to do "What is best for him". I'm devistated. I'm not one to sleep with just anyone..I don't give myself away...I did fall in love and now I'm stuck with a broken heart and a young man that basically wants nothing to do with me. A young man that once told me I was everything he could ever ask for. I am already a single mom of 2 boys. One will be graduating high school soon the other in elementary school. As I said, this after a 15yr marriage... I cannot BELIEVE this has happened...but what I would do to have the support and love of the father right now. I'm hormonal, scared, feel like I let my entire family down..struggling now with depression...I feel so alone. Some days I really don't know how I'm going to make it...but I have no choice but to keep pushing through..and I'm doing a LOT of praying.. I haven't told ANYONE in my family. They will be so dissapointed in me...maybe even as much as I am with myself. I could never have an abortion...therefore I will go through the pregnancy and give this child THE BEST I can give. It's the hardest things I've ever endured. I've had some female issues that cause some pretty severe pain ...I have no choice but to work full time to take care of my sons....I guess I'm saying this to basically say "THANK YOU!!" to all you dads sticking it out for your little mommas. They are going through SO MUCH (of course you are too) yes, we are crazy at times...but no matter what the outcome of your relationships are in the end...you can look at yourself in the mirror and say "I did the BEST I could...I gave all I had!" and be ok with yourself. I applaude all you "to be dads" out there...it's alot on you, I know. You are carrying your own burdens..and now taking on more responsibility. But you will be rewared one way or another. Hang in there...

Harold Saxon, MP said...

My situation is my girlfriend who lives interstate used to practically brag about how much she loved me and about all the plans we had, then suddenly she broke it off. I discover 3 weeks later she is pregnant with my child. We were "together" for a week (where she threatened a permanent breakup if I stayed in my state) then suddenly she told me she didn't love me and "broke it off". Then she wants me back and that she is willing to move to my state. Then she turns around and says she feels forced to love me and just can't love me ever again, then I got upset with her and told her to leave me alone (I got a bit aggressive I admit). Eventually, days later, she admits to holding her feelings back as I'm too far away to show her I love her.

Now, I'll be moving over to her state in August to be with her more. I will certainly keep you posted on the updates of the Princess/Pregosauraus Rex to keep you updated on the challenges and hopefully show that there is hope even when things appear hopeless and it seems she will never love you again.

It took me a long time to realise she is just hormonal and as a Pregosaurus Rex, she is just roaring out her emotions. Second Trimester begins in June. August is when we will know what gender the baby will be.

You can call me Harold Saxon, MP.

The Welsh Contingent said...

As has been said a few other times, a lot of the "hormones" women go through is a massive test of your character for life as a father (even though the poor women don't realise it). Something that got me through these times was thinking that this is what my teenager will be doing/ saying. Other times never mind what you do it will be wrong. Even though it's hard, sometimes a kind word/ a hug/ a kiss helps, other times just leaving the lady to "sulk" is the best option..... but ressed assured whichever you try will be wrong for that occasion.

Anonymous said...

I haven’t cried this much in my whole live. I am 17 weeks pregnant (and over excited about it) and my husband is so insensitive. There are some foods I just cannot eat now that I am pregnant, or even the smell of it (e.g. braai wors and steak). My husband will then tell me that it is all in the mind and that I am full of nonsense. I suffer from morning sickness and he then tells me that I am only faking it. My belly is getting bigger and I struggle to put on my shoes – especially like tekkies, then I will unintentionally groan while I struggle and I have a terrible back pain in my lower back and this also make my whole left leg numb. When I stand up I have to stand still for a second and them move slowly and he will then tell me to stop moaning. I have never asked him to get me something to eat for my cravings nor asked him for a back rub, as I know this will not happen. I am trying so hard to stay positive but I am scared that I make my baby negative with my crying the whole time. I will not dare to cry in front of him as he will tell me to grow up.

Looking4help said...

I've never posted on a blog before and Im Gen-Y!

Im expected my first with my girlfriend who I love very much and we're both excited about the birth of our child. These mood swings are destroying me though.

Im make her breakfast/tea in bed, lunch for work, leaving work earlier than usual to make dinner, all the housework and getting the craving food she wants. So, Im a selfish, self centered guy who doesnt care about her or the baby according to her when the moods kick in.

I really dont know what to do. She believes honesty is the best policy and when she gets moody, man, does some hurtful stuff come out. Its pushing us apart and its the last thing I want when we're bringing a beautiful child into the world.

From any women or men out there, I could really use some advice. I'd like to talk to my dad about it but dont want to burden him with these issues about his future grandchild.

Anonymous said...

I'm 8 weeks 6 days pregnant last night was my first proper outburst of hormonal upset just because my partner went to his mates house and was there for 3 hours when he told me he wouldn't be long I went mad he just went to bed when he came home so he couldn't argue back at me its my partners first baby my second so he's not sure what to expect so glad I came across this site as I'm going to show him I felt so bad this morning for being like I was with him. today I've been an emotional wreck and so upset that I let myself get at him like that last night.this morning because he's at work I rang him and told him that it was just my hormones he still didn't seem to understand it.so guys out there if your dealing with these hormones just try to be understanding as its something us girls can't control while we're pregnant.

Anonymous said...

Me and my partner are well into our pregnancy. The hormones have been very bad, im always wrong even though i know im right, shes distant, rude, insulting, bossy, sarcastic, blowing hot and cold and i feel like shes pushing me away, we've had to have breaks during the pregnancy, none that i have want. i have been the same throughout and have offered nothing but love and support an still it is like i am the enemy. atm each day is wasted due to this, later she might say sorry but i dont look forward to tomorrow because it will be the same. i love her endlessly but i dont feel like she likes me anymore and it is hurting.

Anonymous said...

I loved reading this. I'm 16 weeks pregnant, and ashamed of the way I have been feeling towards my husband. He has been nothing but supportive, although of course he gets on my nerves unknowingly... We are currently staying at my mother's house until my husband finishes off his course, and then hope to move out after baby is born. I have never believed in the hormonal outbursts thing, thinking that girls use it as an excuse to be b**chy while menstruating so they can get away with it. However, my first hint of the Pregosaurus in me came when I asked my brother to help me fold the laundry (I was absolutely exhausted earlier in the pregnancy) and he said No. Usually this wouldnt bother me, but right there and then I just wanted to grab a knife and throw it at him. I had to go to my room and calm myself before I could look at him without murderous thoughts running through my head lol. The next incident was around 12 weeks pregnant, the Diet Coke was all finished and I was begging husband to go to the store to buy some more and the fool had the nerve to say NO to me! He lovingly explained that I needed to drink more water, I had gone through too many Diet Coke bottles that week and needed to think about our baby. Well, I was that short of scratching his eyes out and screaming obscenities and all sorts of colourful names, so once again I went to my room to calm down. Yesterday, I fell asleep and he interrupted my beautifuol nap to remind me that we were going to his parents house for dinner. I screamed at him and cried all the while getting ready. I didnt want him near me and didnt talk to anyone when we got to his parent's place. After the meal however, I forgot about the incident and was my normal happy self. Looking back from today, I am so ashamed at my conduct, as I am never rude like that, nor do I like to leave the house without sorting out disagreements. I understand now why women get so crazy while pregnant. However, I am always afraid that I will say something to hurt my spouse, and I get very guilty when I have been unkind to somebody, so I try so hard to hold it in. However, I have been very moody all day, and I know it is because I have been holding in my anger. I don't really know what to do about it - on top of that, my mother-in-law is very annoyed that I have been missing some of their family events - this is because I have been quite sick, although I have been out and about due to events I promised to attend before morning sickness hit. This has made me mad beyond belief, but once again, just holding it in.
Sorry for the long story, I just want to let you men know that you guys are troopers! Kudos to you guys for putting up with us monsters, I hope things go well for those of you who still are wondering where they stand in their relationship.
As for you women, please try harder to be nice, you can do it!

Anonymous said...

I so love this site. My fiancee and i are expecting my first (her second) child and 27 weeks in she cant stand me. I was kicked out of the house and she won't answer my calls or reply my texts though occasionally she will. We dated for 3 months got engaged and hqve been together for 10 months now and everything was great until the emotions kicked in then all hell broke loose. I still love her and i am glad time is going by fast. It also feels good to know i am not alone and there is lots of light at the end of the tunnel :-) and in the end we will all ge to do what we had planned on with our baby girl

Anonymous said...

It's hard to deal with sometimes! My wife just got mad at someone while we were out...Get home, she goes in side, slams the door, and all I get is a "go away, f*ing a**hole!" When I tried to go in the bedroom to get some shorts. Joy... :-)

Anonymous said...

My wife is really concerned about money. Really concerned, actually obsessed might be the more appropriate word.
It has become quite maddening, as I have approached the often brought up topic from every angle.
For the purposes of being brief and also to be polite I offer this perspective, we pay more in taxes than a lot of people make in a year. (Yes, we are very lucky) Our income is about equal and also shared.
Money has never been an issue until now.
She will say things like “what if we both lose our jobs?”
What do you say to that?
I said “well, I think we would be like 99% of the people in the world, pretty screwed.”
Probably not the best response, but again, what do you say? Isn’t that obvious.
We have a healthy savings for emergency. We have enough to start a solid college fund. We make enough to pay for everything and still have money for travel, toys, daycare, diapers, etc.
She is 29 and I’m 32. We have a lot of years left to make money.
I DON’T GET IT!!
I’m trying to work on being supportive, but it’s getting depressing. I’m a glass is half full kind of guy. She used to be that way.
WHEN DO I GET MY WIFE BACK?

Anonymous said...

I applaud you guys for your patience, understanding and commitment. I am a woman, have never been pregnant but sometimes deals with severe PMS. I can't even stand myself when I am hormonal so I don't know how you do with your pregnant ladies. When my hormonal friends (pregnant or not) start acting like b...s, I just steer clear of them. Sometimes, I just tell them to f..k off. The truth is that I think that a woman should know her body, should be aware when her hormones are all over the place. It's true that there is nothing we can do about it but we can try to not burden our entourage with it. I've seen a lot of doctors for my PMS symptoms and tried anti-depressors, pills, with no results. Since I am self-conscious enough to know when I act crazy, I do my best to avoid people during these times because I don't want to lash out on them. I must admit that I fear the moment I'll become pregnant because of my hormones. I vividly hope I'll still be able to notice that I'm not my usual self.

Anonymous said...

Wow, so many stories that are just like mine. My gf got up 2 days ago and said she'll be moving back out of state (11 weeks pregnant) and we can work out custody later. She has been a terror and created such a ball of anger around her it feels like I can't even talk to her. I told her the morning she left that I'd be here for her and the baby. And I would support her what ever way I could. Funny thing is a couple weeks ago we were getting married now I left with our house payment and all the bills. I don't understand.

Kate @ Modern Alternative Mama said...

Oh my, it makes me laugh.

I am 8 months pregnant with my third. I did not know how hormonal I was the first time, until about a week AFTER baby was born. Suddenly a fog was lifted and I felt like myself. I went home after a shopping trip and told my husband, "Wow, I really was crazy the last 9 months!"

I did exactly this sort of thing -- cry over things that probably didn't matter because they mattered to me, then. And cry harder because I thought I made him feel bad! Oh yes. That is pregnancy.

Luckily my husband, always smart about this sort of thing (he, too, would try to make me laugh after awhile), has gotten REALLY smart this time around. I can say, "I know this makes no sense and I am being irrational but this is IMPORTANT right now and I can't help it." He just says, "I know, it's fine," and does what he can to help. Very smart man.

Still it makes me laugh because it is not normal behavior. :) Find some humor in it, it doesn't last forever!

Anonymous said...

my wife and i are expecting our second child in a few months. we have an awesome 3 year old daughter and have generally been quite happy as a family.

Lately i feel like she is blaming everything on me, but god forbid i point out something she has done wrong....even if i do it in a very nice way. It is good to read others are having the same experience. That helps some, but i really feel a distance between us lately. I am finding it more and more difficult to just suck it up

Teala said...

I AM A PREGNANT WOMEN AND I DONT THINK MY HUSBAND UNDERSTANDS WHAT HAPPENS TO A WOMENS BODY MIND AND HEAD WHEN THEY BECOME PREGNANT. Honestly. I love him with all my heart and I would do anything for the man but he does the stupidest things to piss me off and it may not be big things its mainly the little tiny things he does to set me off and make me feel like he is not in this with me. I am only 2 1/2 months and the craziness just started a couple days ago. I apologize to him constantly cause I feel bad for being snappy at him but I have come to find out that even though I apologize he still continues to do the stupid little things that irritate me more than anything in this world. What do I need to do to get him on the same page with me.??????

Anonymous said...

I wish I would have read these stories before I talked to my wife about having a baby. So many of these stories are just like mine and I have thought about leaving numerous times, the only reason I have not is becuase of the baby. I am afraid by time the baby is born, my wife and I will hate each other. I will be getting fixed so I dont have to go through this again.

Anonymous said...

From "mr. Confused":

I wanted to give an update to my life cuz the last comment I made months ago was still very bleak. In short, my son was finally born on aug 31, 2010 and soon we he will be one!!! The mother took about 6 months to get back to "Normal". After our son was born she actually got worse and even escalated to violence. Thank god that I controlled myself and I didnt hit her back. I just left an told her the next dAy that I was done. Her whole family witnessed the violence and begged me not to leave and to forgive her. Let's put it this way she is 120lbs and I'm 190 and I practice martial arts. There is no way that she can hurt me if I defend myself but I won't ever be phyical like that with her. So I decided I was done and I really meant it. I was at peace with my decision and was only going to worry about my son. Funny thing, when I put my foot down she changed dramatically and has started to respect me. Long story short we are working on this relationship again but with baby steps. She seems much more relaxed and happy, I'm stress free and my son is always laughing and very healthy. I've realized that the best advise is to have patience and to give her space during her pregnancy. Then once everything is fine with her and the baby physically after he is born, you need to put your foot down. Be fair, but be fair to yourself as well. If she doesn't want to respect you then to move on and just worry about your son. I bet, though, that if she loves you (and she probably does because she is having your baby) she will realize it and you'll work it out. And if not, you will be happy either way because you'll have a child. It won't feel like that right away but after months of bonding with your child you'll feel more for your child than anyone else in the world. Remember: give her space and have patience during the pregnancy. Wait until a few months after the birth (you'll know when) and decide how you want other people to treat you and then she at the very least will respect you. I bet though that I will be more.

Bill, almost a dad said...

@ mr. Confused,

I'm sorry to hear things devolved so much with her, but I'm very glad to hear you 1. put your foot down 2. didn't hit her and 3. most importantly, have a happy baby. Congratulations. The reward for any craziness is truly worth it. I'm glad to hear you're working on your relationship and wish you and your son years of happiness. Enjoy!

Anonymous said...

As sad as some of these posts are, it has made me feel that i am not alone, so i thank you for that everyone. My girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend, is 24 weeks pregnant with my first, and probably only child. I am 46, and she is 26. We were really great friends and dated for almost 16 months before she found out she was pregnant. We were both happy at first, and then came telling her mother....we kept seeing each other until about 9 weeks into the pregnancy, and then she ceased all comunication. I was totally supportive to her needs, and wants...and was there for anything...but one day she said to stop texting and calling.
Period. I was devestated, and still am....not being able to be apart of the pregnancy process, hell, not even knowing what my child is, boy, girl.....hormonal?? i don't know, all i know is that she isn't the same person I once loved, but I am still here for her, and will be once our child is born...

ryan said...

Hi all. Me and my girlfriend are 11 weeks through our first pregnancy. after finding out just two weeks after our holiday in her home town (Hungary) i'am English and we both currently live in England. As of the last week she has become very distant,cold and unloving towards myself. After we have been so happy with each other since we started the relationship 7 months ago. this hot me very hard. Since then i have been reading up on hormones and what to expect over the next year. Seems to be that it is very much so, the hormones that i call the DEVIL! I dont live with her but we have spent almost every night together since day one. And we had started to plan moving into our own house. She is now saying that she does not want to live together and that she NEEDS space. I fully understand that and i believe that i have taken this the best way possible, considering my state of mind right now. Her family have told me to just hold tight and be patient. then hopefully soon she will return to her normal self. However it would be a massive help if others could give me some guidance and help to remain sane for throughout this battle. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

brother, i wrote the post above you, and i too am at a loss....i have had no word from my girlfriend, (now ex girlfriend) since may 5th, she is now 26 weeks pregnant....i would love to know anything regarding my unborn child...how does somebody justify for such actions, this once in a life time event...i don't know..
good luck with your situation...

Anonymous said...

I read this and experience this on a constant basis. My girlfriend is 13 weeks in and she completely flies off the handles for next to no reason, becomes completely irrational, finds a lot of complete strangers despicable, and will cut her nose off to spite her face. She pushes my buttons and threatens ending our relationship constantly. I try to bite my tongue and never hear a thank you or a sorry, all I hear is complete an utter crazy.
I also can't believe some of the responses from women on here that are laughing about the post? Really, it is not funny. It is horrible in every way. I understand you feel crazy all the time and your body is going through changes but why do you have to drag down your man with you? If I felt bad, or crazy, I would not want to drag my significant other down with me. Get over it, stop worrying about "being fat". We don't care and it's not fat, it's our child- and if you did gain fat, it's not a permanent thing. I used to think really low of every guy that has ever left their pregnant partner, but now I'm starting to think quite a few are forced out. Good grief.

Anonymous said...

I loved this post! It left me giggling and on the verge of tears at the same time. My husband could relate to this as he's had to deal with meltdowns that seem to come from out of nowhere over the past few weeks. He's been an incredibly patient crusader and just a great partner in all of this. I'm grateful for blogs like yours that add humor to an emotional time in our lives.

Paul said...

Thank you Bill! Thanks for creating this blog and many thanks to everyone else for all the replies to it. I am not alone in this. I have been getting to a very low point with all this and I was getting worried for my mental health. About 10 years back, I had severe depression which resulted in a suicide attempt, luckily I was rubbish at it and survived. It was good that I did survive because I got together with the love of my dreams last year and then we found out that we were going to have a child. A perfect dream come true!
Then it all changed, very similar to the anonymous post on April 13th, 2010 at 8:10pm. She hardly shows any love or affection in any way. Previously, we couldn’t be separated, we always cuddled up together or sat on the sofa holding hands, a kiss goodbye in the morning, a kiss at night on my return home from work. Now she seems to be repulsed by me, she seems to flinch even if I just gently caress her shoulder. She has blown up at me and said that she doesn’t want this child and regrets ever meeting me, she did retract that afterwards but still doesn’t show any affection. I thought I was caught in a trap, imprisoned and secluded from her life and the baby’s life. I’ve tried to talk about it with her but she says there is nothing wrong and it’s all in my mind. I really didn’t know what I have done wrong, I have not been sleeping well and I was getting dark thoughts like I had many years ago, I could see the tell tale signs of a depression coming on. This is the last thing that I want to do and I was really getting very low. Reading this today has given me some hope that this will all change next January. It is very mentally demanding and I have smiled my way through many verbal assaults but I never realised things would get this bad.
I wish some more of the posters on this blog previously could repost how they are getting on now, whether it did all change back to the good times after birth? I hope so. I can see a glimmer of hope at the end of this dark tunnel.

Anonymous said...

Very nice post, man. My wife is 10 weeks in but plagued with extreme vomiting, which has made me the bad guy in spurts for enforcing a fairly strict regime of regular snacking and hydration. This morning, I came back to find that she had barely touched her cerial and was complaining about not feeling good. I made the mistake of chastising her about regular eating and drinking, and how since for some reason, she is unable to see the correlation between food/fluids intake, and her state of wellness, I have to the bad guy. She burst into tears, begged me to go away; I didn't right away and instead told her how much I loved her, how worried I was, how my priority was to make her feel better etc. She just closed up so I eventually left. Will go back in a few hours with more food and hot chocolate or something. Then usually at the end of the day, she has a wave of appreciation and love for me, so when this stuff happens... I just do my best to get out of the male problem solver mode, and into the non-rational unconditional empathy zone :)

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness my story told over and over. I'm totally in love with my girl. She is 9 weeks and I am just glad I read this. We had a little battle tonight after she asked me to go to the store, and put gas in the car. So I did, then I was assaulted for spending 45 dollars. Lol I was lost. At times really do need to bite my tongue more. I love her so much, and only want the best for her. I try so hard and it's hardly ever right. I had to leave for work tonight I work 3rd shift, with her balling. It is the hardest thing to do. I just wrapped her in my arms, told her I love her, and to just breath and to get some rest. In Jesus name I pray, I know if I trust in the lord all will be ok. Def the hardest thing I have ever had to encounter is this. Thank you again for helping me not feel so alone, and for a few laughs. Namely "prego-saurus" lol. God bless!!!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this website. It does make you feel a little better and not alone. I love my wife, but she has become very cold and has told me such things today, that I have seriously attempted killing myself. But I see from this site, that it cannot be all her speaking but the hormones. This was an unplanned pregrancy, but I love her and I am trying to support her as much as I can. I make very little money and cannot offer her too much. Sometimes I think if we are so stupid to even tolerate this for 1 day. I hope there is light at the end of this dark tunnel.

Anonymous said...

I am 14 weeks prego and outrageously horny, I cant go a day without thinking about sex . My boyfriend works about 70hr a week, so when he is home I cant stay away from him. I feel bad, cause we have sex and I want more and more and more.... So I think it makes him feel bad. And then I get all mad and tell him he cant satisfy me. WOW right? I guess I just want to know if any other men have went throuh this with their pregnant girlfriends and what did they do/did when she was left unsatisfyed. Or if you are a pregnant girlfriend what do I do about this whole horney all the time thing? This has been going on for about a week now and I am even getting on my nerves over it.

Anonymous said...

You see it in the movies and on tv and you think... "It's a dramatization. It can't really be that bad!" And then you realize they've been sugar-coating it. When the pregnant wife yells in a sitcom, it's always funny! In real life - IT SUCKS! But as several people have pointed out - dealing with the hormones themselves sucks worse than dealing with the wild roller coaster of emotions, so suck it up, guys. When my wife was in her first trimester, she would start crying at BIZARRE times. The dog didn't finish all his food... tears. She can't find her house keys... tears. I didn't take out the trash... tears. And my wife is TOUGH, so at first I couldn't figure out what the heck was going on. Then we found out that she was prenant... AAAHHHHHHH! NOW it makes sense. So I read up on the whole hormone issue. Grabbed a hold of the safety bar and rode the hormone coaster through week 13, and then, like clockwork, her hormones balanced and she was my darling, lovely wife again. YES! I made it! I survived!! What??? It's not over?!?! NOOOOOOOO!!!! That's right. We hit week 18, and I discovered that I was still on the coaster... it was just one of those smooth patches that they put in there to sucker you in before the really big drop! And this time she's not crying, which in retrospect would be a welcome emotion. This time she is yelling! Uh oh, hold on tighter... but not too tight or she'll yell. I called my sister, who has had two kids, to ask how long this is going to go on. Sis - "You're at 20 weeks, right?" Me - "Yes" (hoping she's about to say it should end any day) Sis - "Bro, you're half way there. Pregnancy is 40 weeks." Me - "What?!" Sis - "And then it gets really bad for about another month! You think this is bad? Wait til that four week period after she delivers!!" Not to worry though. There really is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's called a baby! And yes, I know my wife will one day be back to her lovely, tough, yet caring, self. I just have to stay on the wild ride for roughly 24 more weeks, and I have to remember what my wife keeps reminding me... "YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!"

Anonymous said...

My wife is 3 months pregnant and acts pretty much the same way she has since we got married -- irrational, demanding, and disrespectful. So you at least have the comfort of knowing your wife's psychosis is temporary and hormonally driven.

Joran Oppelt said...

One book got me ready for fatherhood more than any other - "The Continuum Concept." And I think that what prepared me more for fatherhood than any "parenting/self-help" book was further study into anthropology, biology and evolutionary psychology. All expectant fathers should read the works of Robert Coles and Jean Piaget. Men need a larger cultural frame of reference, as they ultimately just need to stand around the fire with a spear and have really good eyesight. Or get chinese takeout at the drop of a hat.

Anonymous said...

..my other half is completely off her chuck...a logical & civil conversation is a pipe dream....

2 months to go...i am talking more frequent walks to leave the intense crazy behind for an hour...for we all have to swim in that pool till the little bundle of joy arrives and normality returns.... :-D

atj said...

pregnancy is a crazy gig; i'm 20 weeks now; was unplanned but with a loving partner... once the morning sickness started things got bad; real bad and i swirled into a downward spiral of deep dark depression. but my man was always there.

we had always had an amazing sex life, i loved the smell of him, the look of him, everything about him. and then i got pregnant. and guys - it's hard to understand - but the world as we once know it turns on it's head. EVERYTHING CHANGES. sights, smells, tastes, digestion, feeling constantly sick, exhausted, out of control, our body is no longer our own - it's a vessel for another life to grow.

the crazy hormones can effect any of us pregnant ones: and you men unfortunately take the brunt of it. how i admire you all. in the face of adversity, of hostility, of point blank refusal to even kiss, or talk, or touch... my man remained beside me.

THIS TOO SHALL PASS... it does get better. the hormones still rage and we're still impossible and demanding and crazy. but it does. get. better.

have faith and hope men.
you are our rocks.
we NEED YOU. even when we chuck you out the door and try to break up with you.

we want to be secure. we crave it. this is just mother natures way of testing you.

sorry about that.
much love to all.
men and women.
and to all those babies out there who look like they will be born to some pretty amazing fathers.

Paul said...

ATJ, that is an amazing post! It sums up my experience with my girlfriend completely. She is now at week 32 and i've been getting almost a few apologies here and there. I'm so glad I read your post, it has brightened up my day no end. I can see that light! Thank you :)

Anonymous said...

my wife is killing me, since she is pregnant. she lives a few months here and a few in europe, she is in europe now. and 10weeks pregnant, every phone call ends up in an argument, mostly from her, and she calls me the meanest things i have ever heard. she wants to leave me now and threatens me with divorce, and just 10 weeks ago we were in love!!!!! i dont know how to handle it.... its also that her father is acting like he is pregnant!!!! adding to the fuel and driving me nuts....

Anonymous said...

My wife is pregnant and my father-in-law is having temper tantrums and mood swings!!!! normally he is sensible, but he is acting crazy these days

Anonymous said...

So I am 18 weeks pregnant and live in new York city, my husband has become obsessed with buying a vintage porsche. He searches and goes to test drive constantly. Did I mention we live in NYC, where we currently have no car due to lack of and high cost of parking and that we have never needed one. This car will be his alone as it is not a baby friendly ride. He has worked the last two weekends and is off today test driving another one. Is this normal, did my pregnancy trigger a mid life crisis or force him back to his teenage years? He is very sweet and helpful but this one issue is making me feel sad and alone like he is not really planning for a real baby, but making plans for his new automotive child? I love him and want him to be happy but friends and family think he is acting selfish and immature. Not sure how big a deal to make of this, even though I know it is not a good decision right now.

Bill, almost a dad said...

@ anonymous Porsche mom, his behavior does sound escapist. I don't know how old he is so don't know if it's mid-life, but think he is having trouble with the reality of the situation. Sounds like he's got some pre-child living he thinks he needs to get out of his system, but he needs to man-up. It may be that he'll just eternally test drive and never actually buy one, but he needs to be aware of how his behavior is effecting you and the potential negative impacts. He doesn't sound like a horrible guy, just a little off base. Either way, I wish you the best of luck and let me know if you have any questions or concerns.

Anonymous said...

I really can relate to you guys. My girl is about 7 months and all I can think is we never argued this much since we been together which has been 4 years and some months. Everything is her way (the right way). I'm a very patient person but by far caught me off guard. Not left field you in right field but America Antarctic caught me off guard. I feel like one of them cartoon characters just standing there getting yelled at saying nothing but collecting all the spit and saliva and can do nothing but walk away to sqeegy my face. But I been in there this long though. I just need her to realize I'm trying all that I can. Coming home from catering to her 24/7 dealing with a bull$&@! Job being as though I'm the only one working plus making sure her 3 year old is cared for also, dividing the attention between the two plus being exhausted from work is alot but I still do but the constant arguing isn't making me feel no better, this is my 1st child and I'm trying, lord knows I am

Anonymous said...

i have been reading some of the post on this sit and they have really helped me to start to understand a pregnat woman but i can't help to tell you about me.

I have been with my partner for 4 years now. We have been married for one year.
When we first got together we both told each other we really wanted kids. My wife being 33 at the time and me being 27. We talked about this because the womans body starts to stop working and we both really want kids. well three and a half years pass and still no baby. We tried I.V.F but it did not work. And with the hormons and the stress that came with this i could not take being pushed away so i had an afer and the wife found out. not the best thing to do and i do feel really bad for it but we talked and sorted it out. to this day i have not cheated again like i promised. but now the wife told me just before x-mas to meat for a coffee in my work break.. this has never happend before in 4 years so i wanted to know what was wrong. we meet and she hold me she was having a baby. I was so happy so over the moon but then came a BUT.
I am sorry it is not your baby she told me. i lost it i wanted to kill her to hit he but i could not do it because of the baby and because i love her. she is now 12 weeks into the pregnansy and all i try is to be near her but i get pushed away again. i can't bring up the fact the baby is not mine because she tells me it is her and the baby or leave. I love my wife with all my hart and i know she loves me. but i cant take the hurt she has given me. i know it is the hormons at the moment but i hurt so much. Our sex life has stoped now for 10 weeks. i can't tutch her or even talk about sex. she tells me to go and sleep with someone else to get red of my hormons. i wish there was someone i could talk to to help me..

Anonymous said...

man oh man! i was talkin to god and asked him to help me and he brought me to this page! i am a 25 year old and my wife is 34. she is 31 weeks pregnantwith our first child and i thought i was doing something wrong even though i did everything i can besides jump over the moon for my wife which i would try to do that whether she is pregnant or not. i thought i was going crazy seeing how she has changed and thought it might be hormonal but i didnt know it could be this normal for pregnant woman to be like this. people REALLY need to tell someone about the hormones more than anything when getting pregnant. im an athlete so getting cursed out is nothing to me. my mother has pretty in your face attitude as well so i am used to this kind of thing but not from my wife and not when i am busting my butt for her and my soon to be born child. im just glad this ends soon because i love my wife and i miss her and want her back.

Anonymous said...

Oh my... I thank god for this site. You don't know my name, but you all would have had I not found this site... It would have been on "Dateline" for the mysterious disappearance of my wife!!! Honestly, someone should have given guys the heads up or a handbook about this crazy hormonal stuff... To quote John Lennon, "nobody told me there'd be days like these!!!!"

Anonymous said...

Holy hell! for the future readers, I have no idea if it gets better. I am currently in the spare room trying to keep myself calm. This blog has helped. Today, we got in our third enormous fight because we have too much food in the house. My wonderful wife is 23 weeks in and has never been so mean. Its not constant, It just kicks in every other week or so. I say the right things, do the right things, but she just wants to fight. Pushing the buttons all the ladies know. previous postst are right on, it really isn't funny. I am very patient but I can only take so much. I too want my wife back, I do see her in there sometimes, so I am keeping fingers crossed. Good lucks dads, you are not alone.

$MACK said...

lol im glad i found this! my girlfriend who i am very in love with is 3 months pregnant! dealing with this pregnancy is tough! and what makes it even tougher is that we live 50 miles apart! so we dont get to see eachother that much! my mind is alll over the place at this point lol!cuz stuff is just not adding up on the relationship side! i told her that i am willing to come down to where she lives to see her but she doesnt want me to come down and visit her because she doesnt like where she lives??? so i said that me takin a trip down there doesnt stop u from comin up here? because she likes where i live better and she still stuck with her answer! not only that! before she was pregnant we talked alll the time! text, facebook, skype, phone now i dont hear from her for days and what makes me mad as hell is that i see her talkin to people on facebook but she cant text me back and let me know how she is doing! the only time she talks to me and text me back constantly with positve energy is when she needs money for food! and that right there made me suspicious! like how come just talkin to your boy friend/ the father of our child isnt enough for you to have that same energy to talk to me????? she was super sensitive before she was pregnant! so imagine her now! this is probably the toughest shit ive ever been through!

Anonymous said...

Ok, I am a pregnant woman and my partner has told me he has had enough of my complaining and emotional moods. I am so confused as I thought I have been good and feeling happier as my sickness has eased. He is telling me I need to make changes with my attitude and I don't know what I am supposed to do? Can anyone offer a pregnant woman advice on dealing with her partner not dealing with her hormones(and not being aware of them).
Thankyou, I really appreciate it as we live together, planned our beautiful baby to be and I thought we would be together always...

Anonymous said...

Lmao u think your havin a hard time bro try living with her my girlfriend is 7 months and trust me it only gets worse and when it comes to the living situation with u two and how she only contacts u when she needs money that sounds shady as hell I suggest u go down there and have a serious heart to heartand don't ask her just show up u might just catch her doin. Some stupid sh**

Anonymous said...

My wife is 6 weeks with our 2nd and just told me last week she was not cooking anymore. She stays at home with our kid and I work 60+ hours and am about to go crazy. We are on a tight budget and she has been eating out for the last week while I take sandwiches to work. And she is too tired to do most things around the house except go to yoga and book club meetings. I have got to figure out how to deal with this.

Anonymous said...

to all the men who cant handle a hormonal pregnate woman is a baby themselves they have to remember that they did it to the woman, and it is our fault that they are pregnate, so suck it up buttercups i have a 5 month old and my wife is 15 weeks pregnate its not that hard just agree with the woman even know they are wrong lol

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this site! My wife has turned into a stranger almost overnight. A few weeks back we were hot lovers. A week ago we were best buds. Now, I'm "being clingy" if I want to watch TV together. I guess those pregnancy hormones can do weird things to the brain . . .

Anonymous said...

Thanks to the man above for leading me to this site and thanks for creating it. I have found myself in love a very beautiful caring Mom of 2 girls, with two different Dads....9 & 4. I definitely knew what I was getting into when we started dating and love her daughters and support them as much as possible. We got along great and time was well balanced considering the custody between kid and kid-free nights. She mentioned how the Dad's hadn't really stepped up to be there at the beginning and now the oldest one's Dad is married and is more involved with his daughters life and it is great to see. The Dad of the 4 year old still not stepping up taking responsibility to raise his daughter on his days, and only wants the daughter when he isn't hungover...or have some party to attend. I have tried to be very understanding, but it's difficult because it has impacted our kid-free time and allowing us to bond closer together and work on our future. 16 weeks ago we found out that we were pregnant....her 3rd and my 1st. I was ecstatic of course and she was not against the idea nor was she gun-ho about it. I have always been there for here and done what I can to show her appreciation that I have for what she is going through. There were some definite early mood swings for the first 3 weeks then it got decent for 7 weeks, now "Prego-saurus" has come out for the last 6 weeks. We don't live together but were planning on moving in together about 2 weeks ago. I just sold my house and will be moving in with my brother to give her the space she needs. I'm not happy about the decision, but trying to be understanding about her desires and how she wants to deal with it. I would be crazy to force myself into her house right now, but I know I could definitely help her out with her daughters when she wants to rest. I want to help her but I also don't need her to be more stressed out. Now the 4 year old's Dad is an emotional wreck because he found out and has now threatened to take more custody (which he couldn't handle) if I move in. This situation has become very ugly in a hurry. I can relate to all the guys saying the don't hear from them, don't get text, most responses if any are "ok"...no emotion or care whatsover. Definitely not any feeling of affection or desire to be with me, no talk about the future. The last thing I want is for her to be a mother of 3 with 3 Dads and single. I can take alot and try to understand what she is saying, but the words I've heard are very painful. I have heard that she doesn't want the baby, would rather we didn't move in because of the ex's threats, and how the nights she doesn't have her daughters wants to just be alone. This has become a very dark place lately and all I can do is try my best to understand. I know that pregnancy is 9 months and only hope when the baby comes out of the tunnel....so does the light for me! There are lots of things in this world that are tough, but loving someone who doesn't show appreciation or acts as if she could care less if you existed is tough to take. She called me an "Ass" the other day. I asked, "Did you hear that?" she replied, "no!" I responded, "weird, that was a panty-dropper from you, one of the nicest things I've heard lately." She gave me the silent treatment, but I know she was laughing inside. I told her when her 4 year was sick that I would rather be sick at her house with her and her daughter then at mine in good healther and alone. All I can say is try to "kill them with kindness" because at the end of the day, you won't be happy saying you gave anything less than 100% to the future of with child's mother. I pray things work out and that my beautiful girlfriend that I love and had once swept me off my feet shows up with open arms and ready to take on the world with me, her 2 daughter, and our new child together. This site has been a blessing and for now...I'm off to the doghouse.

Anonymous said...

Was feeling low and hormonal, recently cried for no reason and worried my boyfriend, looked online for how to dealing with pregnancy hormones and this was my top google search, read it and it instantly started to make me smile, by the end of it I was laughing at how much i could relate to this story thro your wife haha and how i think sometimes i should give my boyfriend backrub before he starts feeling underappreciated :)

Anonymous said...

Me and my girlfriend started off too fast for a certain reasons, now she five months pregnant. I used to get so angry at her because felt like I wasn't apart of the baby and it hurted me deeply. After reading this blog I changed her ring tone when she textes to: It just one these days when a girl go through. Thank you fellows

Anonymous said...

My girlfriend is 8 weeks we have only been together since Nov last year and everything was ok untill first 2 weeks of pregnancy then it all changed it took me a while but I have got my head round it now just hang in there give her loads of time on her own so she only has to think about herself she will cone round

Anonymous said...

My wife is pregnant and has been become more and more hormonal with every passing day. I have been trying my best to let thing go but it's just becoming unbearable. She has even started taking it out on my 7 year old son from my previous marriage. I'm out of ideas and patients and am in fear of it costing my marriage I don't want to lose her I love her with all my heart. Please can someone give me some advise as to how to cope.

Anonymous said...

Currently in a relationship with the women of my dreams for about three years now. She is now 14 weeks pregnant and I am excited to be a father. We have our ups and downs throughout the day, some days are better than others but sometimes I can't take the pressure of trying to satisfy every need for my women I understand that she will never be satisfied with anything at this point but sometimes I feel as if she doesn't even notice how hard I try to please her every need. I've read some of the comments on this page and I'm going through the exact same things as most of these people.... atleast I know now that I'm not loosing my mind behind this and I am not alone. Seems like this has been going on since the beginning of time lol. Reading other people scenarios helps me better understand my situation now I know wat I need to work on, THANKS EVERYONE this has been a HUGE help for me....

Anonymous said...

thank you so much im really glad i found this site .i had been friends with my ex partner for many years we decided to give things a go as a couple .we talked about having a family later but we had only been together 3 months and discoverd that she was 6 weeks pregnant i was overjoyed .she didnt react to this the way i thought went really distant then two weeks later i got im sorry i dont love you or want to be with you anymore.since we split ive tried to talk to her and all i get is dont you get it i dont love you anymore i met up with her a few days ago hadnt seen her in several weeks or contacted her i went round to see her she filled up with tears in her eyes and then went into nasty mode i dont want you i dont need you you aint seeing the baby i can do this on my own she has had a lot of imput from friends who havent got any children and her family has turned really hostile i just want to be a good father and loving partner but at the moment she has turned into someone else .will this ever get better babies due in august and im trying to hang in there but she dont want to know anything about me .before all this we were great together the perfect couple if there is such a thing

Anonymous said...

LMFAO.......You made my night, my fiancee is a LUNATIC right now at 8 weeks pregnant>>>>No matter what I do, I am a Mother###### good for nothing A hole......24 hours a day....

Anonymous said...

I can relate to everything you hav said my girlFriend is just not 12 weeks and life has been he'll the real only difference in ur story and mine is she is bipolar and the two of us are only 16 so she has acted just like ur girl. But don worrie she will pull through and what I do when my girlfriend gets all rude mean evil lol what ever she throughs at me I just gotta kill her with kindness its the one way we have to let our women know we will be there for them no matter what. So just "kill her with kindness" and ur relationship will go a long way trust me it has done wonders for me= ) hang in there bro.... It's worth every minute of it

Anonymous said...

hi me n my ex gf are expecting in December but 11 weeks she decides to leave and work away but didn't know she was pregnant and then broke up with me and them once she found out she gave us another try but then again after 2 weeks she says she doesn't want to be with me and telling me to move on :( she is now 10 weeks and I really don't know what to do?? we were so in love and now she is acting like this, it's hard when she constantly tells me to move on and she doesn't want to be with me, anyone any advise for me ?

Anonymous said...

Be strong, and don't give her any reason to react negatively towards you. You may need to prepare yourself for the possibility of her not "coming round" to her senses but,this may just be a hormonal shift, and she may realize this if you give her space .Its really hard on them emotionally and hormones can make their minds play trick on them.my wife is due in Dec too.

Anonymous said...

ever since reading this page and ur words there I have been strong, just can't imagine not being with her whilst going through all this - I have gave her all the spar since my post and she's been contacting me :D so a dont have a clue what will happen, her family says this is the evil side of her u have never met so once she is past 22 weeks she will probs come round and chill out an start relaxing

Anonymous said...

Please tell me things worked out after baby was born
im 20weeks and am like all the other pregnant women here
do i stick it out or call it quits now cos i dont know if i love him
any more

Anonymous said...

Hi Dont really no what to say really. I guess I willstrt by sying my lover in pregnant. Think shes around 9weeks and her moods have changed so much. I ask her if she got paid from work because earlier that day she said if she got paid she would come and spend the day with me. She just deleted me off BB, FB and says we are over for no apparent reason. Its almost like shes looking for a excuse to not be with me and I really love her too. She was rape while i was with her and it was then she found out she was 9weeks pregnant so i knew it was mine. She does not talk to me and shes on dating sites and Ive done nothing wrong. Her moods have been getting worse and i dont no why shes being like this. I feel emotionally depressed and it seems like she dont have the care in the world. anyone can give me advise me because i care for her loads.

Anonymous said...

sigh... guys stop being about an hour or two before saying "I do". Sad fact of life I guess. Maybe we never were.

Patsou said...

Laughing so hard I'm crying, which I'll make sure to blame my poor husband for later on. We're any day now from delivering, just about 40 weeks on the dot. Your blog is one of the funniest I've read in a long time - and it was pretty well-timed to an unnecessary argument that seemed similar to your aggressive Milky-Way-backrub altercation. Hilarious indeed.

Anonymous said...

hi my fiance and i have bin dating for about 4-5 months now i wont lie pregnancy hormones are so intense, but i deal with them. i stay paitient and sometimes its hard cause sometimes she wants to break up with me cause she feels fat and thinks im no longer attracted to her. But i always reassure her that were going to be alright. Last night was the worst and now Im scared im going to lose her and the biggest problem is she's always travelling back and forth to her home country and back. Now some lunatic is trying to destroy my happiness with her by ask her to marry. with her hormones in this state im scared to lose her. she had booked a flight to come back and be with me tommorow but her brother said she may have cancelled it. Im sure she will come around but I dont want to lose her because of this and im hoping in the morning she will come around and still be on her flight back here with me. Im so worried.

adam hucthings said...

right after reading all of your quotes etc, i thought id share my situation, been with my partner now for about 5-6 months up-on first meeting her she was truly amazing, her smile he laughter her smell made me tingle but that soon changed when we found out she was pregnant, not only that the sudden thing she tells me that she has *bipolar* and women who have this are 83% more likely to snap at you then the average pregnant women with only 5%, now if i am wrong correct me on this but, dear god i could be doing something she wanted me to do 2 mins ago but then she focuses on something else and comes back to me and bites my frigging head off, over the things she's asked me to do, i moved from manchester (UK) where my family are to norwich (uk) just to be with her to start our new family as that is what she wanted but again soon changed she cant stand the sight of me the smell the touch, even presence at times, i go to kiss her she heaves as if to be sick the thought of someone else spit in her mouth makes her want to be sick, we dont share a bed because i get to hot when sleeping, she is officially 13 weeks and 5 days through the pregnancy, and already i feel as though this relation-ship is broken and i want it to end, im working my arse off all day long having to come home and instantly take the dogs out simply because she can't be arsed, then i just want to sit down and relax but i can't because i have to go everying fu*king thing for her,

Martin Ford said...

My name is Ford, im going through a similar situation with my wife. See I've loved my wife since we were kids. We grew up in the same church, and dated throughout high school. With the help of Facebook, we reunited around Valentines Day of this year. Everything started great we, were so in love. I knew she was Bi Polar already, but it didn't matter to me. I loved her without any second thought. Now, she's 11 weeks pregnant. And she driving me crazy!!!!! Everything I do is the wrong thing to do. Everything I say is the wrong thing to say. She is being mean just cause she can. She constantly telling me she doesn't love me and she regret some decisions she has made ( i.e. me ) She even has gone so far to say, after the baby is born we should go our separate ways. To hear that kills me. I mean, why would she say these things if she didn't mean them. I'm trying to chalk this up to hormones, but I don't know. I just know I love her and the baby. But her meanness is affecting me at work. My blood pressure is high on a regular (180/80} and now im suffering from panic attacks. I'm trying really hard but she is doing everything in her power to hurt me. Can SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE, or kill me. Lol... I just want a chance at being a good father and husband.

Marya m said...

CifaDear Martin Ford, I don't know the psychology behind it, but mostly the 1st trimester was that hard. I love my husband n is in fact crazy about him. 3 n half yrs later I still look at him like I just met him. I'm pregnant with my 2 nd child for him n with both pregnancies I developed hatred for him mostly on 1dt trimester. I told him exactly what ur wife tell u. I wanna leave, I want a divorci drive the man crazy. Its like I try my best to control saying the mean things by its an overwhelming feeling from those hormones n the person who has to pay for it is the one closest to u. U just gotta be patient cause ur not the one with the hormonal emotional issues. Ifu entertain the madness it will just mess up ur marriage.keep being nicen it will all be over soon. Try giving her some space. If u have more question plz email me @ maryamshow@gmail.com

Martin Ford said...

Thanks Maryamshow, I thought I was the only one goin though this. I feel some what better because, I was gonna have to Call an exorcist on her. Lol, its like a roller coaster ride everyday. But I wouldn't want to be on this ride with anyone. Well, maybe a nicer version of my wife.... No lol

craig&emma said...

yoyo this is my first kid with the most wonderfull emma i love this site its bloody fantastick all the info you guys and lasses have is realy good bill ya a star m8

Anonymous said...

Ok so this is my first kid. I am so happy that I can't even put into words how happy I am. I am learning very quickly that I am always wrong. My gf is 4 weeks pregnant. She has completely changed, I didn't I know what to expect. She has a little girl who is 3. Any advice as to why she is acting soooooo bad now? I mean I had never seen her act like she does now? Is it because she knows there is another baby coming? She is also very clingy to my gf? Any advice would help! Thanks

Anonymous said...

Yes sir, that's y she acting like that. I'm prevgnant n my two yr old doing the same thing. U just gotta patient with her. Ya need to give her lots of affection so she calms down her jealousy n feel secure. Then she will be better. That's what I did n my daughter reacting better after months n allow her to have children her age to play with.

Anonymous said...

Thank you ma'am. I had heard that from one offer person but didn't think it was true. But now I know. I will try my best to be patient. I just don't want my gf to be stressed out! I know it's not good for her or the baby.

Anonymous said...

Since my wife has been pregnant she has consistently treated me like an arsehole and made it very clear that I have to put up with it. I've read all about hormones and what she's going through and know that I could never properly understand how difficult it is to be pregnant, but I have got to the point after seven months where I just cannot take constantly being belittled and shouted at over the most minor things imaginable. This morning I was woken up to her complaining to me about something and then hurriedly went for a shower only to have her bang on the door telling me I was taking too long. I went to work after us barely speaking and the first time we spoke on the phone in the afternoon was for her to nag me about being late home (I wasn't going to be); not to forget the shopping (I'd already done it); not have my phone on silent (it wasn't) - you get the idea. It's got so I can't even remember what it is I liked about her as a person, I now barely cling on to the fact that she is the mother of my child as her single redeeming feature. I hope that when the baby is born her attention is so diverted that she doesn't feel the need to speak to me for at least three months - better still she won't notice if I'm not there.

I've spoken to other dads and they all agree that what I am putting up with is much more extreme than any of their experiences. I want to be a good husband and a good dad, but do I really have to be treated like shit for nine months?

Anonymous said...

Holy cow!

This is our second pregnancy and it is totally different from the first. I feel like I am in a giant human sized yo-yo. :-)

I find myself apologizing all the time for things I know I am right about. (But oh no, do not even think of saying anything.)

The added stress this time is from having a 21 month old and having to deal with parenting styles. Obviously I am loosing............

But it's true, give them 5 minutes of quiet time, come back into the room acting like everything is great and shaman! Emotions are all in check..

Thank you and I really needed to read these posts

Thank you

Anonymous said...

I wish my boyfriend would see this. I work really hard and if I complain about anything he says I'm crazy and it makes me more upset. Sometimes I just want to be quiet and he says that I'm being grumpy. But I work 40 hours a week and i havent been sleeping but I am the problem. not him. It breaks my heart.

Anonymous said...

I wish like hell had the one who cried and asked for help. I got the one who attacks me every chance she gets. It unrelenting. I ask her what she needs and try to go about life in as best a support role as posible. Today it got really bad. She wants to get separated and told me I caused the first miscarriage. She is just evil. I don't know what to do. To make matters worse I'm in the Army and will be deploying soon. She's only 7 weeks pregnant. What the hell should I do??????

Anonymous said...

Hi guys I found this site a few weeks ago and my pregnant partner told me to stay off it and take things as they come. She is 17 weeks pregnant and her hormones are everywhere. We was at her nans earlier on today and she was in one of the best moods I've ever seen her in., then we get back home and had tea just before I was going to clear the plates up she brought up my ex partner from 2 years ago. And she was asking stupid questions like when did you last see her ect, I could see this was winding her up. So I just shut up and carryd on watching TV, next thing I know her dinner plate gets thrown into the sink, smash that goes then she sits down ant throws the ash tray across the room. So I go into the bedroom and I play poker on my phone. She comes strutting in and says you better call your mum to come and pick you up. So I try and find out exactly what's bothering her and all I got in reply was I don't love you, the only feeling I get when I look at you is hate. I get tears come to my eyes and proceed to call my mum who doesn't pick up her phone. Agen I try and make sence on the whole situation but all I get is I hate you I don't want to be with you I hate your past and you. All I need to knows if this is normal. Admittedly before we got together I was a bit of a player. But when we started seeing each other my look on life changed dramatically. I love her so much I am crying whilst typing now. What's can I do to make her realise that I love her and one want the best for her please help me I am a wreck.

Anonymous said...

Good luck to us Husbands and Dads..lets do our job support our partner and pray that eventually everything is gonna be alright.. FAITH..- madlangtuta

Daddy Dar said...

Well my gf and i are expecting our first, shes only 8 weeks but all the stress is already very much apparent. So far wev had hysterical laughter and hysterical crying, all at the same time, wev had severe cramps, like knife wounds apparently. Shes become lazier, and damn near depressed (and woe be tide me if i even consider asking her to lift a finger!)i keep trying to believe that i can take her hormones in my stride but somehow i think its going to be alot harder for the next year. Basically Im going to turn myself on to bitch mode and hope and pray she does'nt try to castrate me in my sleep, wish me luck girls and boys, im gonna need it. (Thanks for opening this blog space, im glad its not just me)

Anonymous said...

oh goodness this made me feel so much better. i'm currently 14 weeks pregnant and up until today I've been able to keep my emotions in check. everything just irritated me today. my fiancé has 2 sons frm his previous marriage that live with us (both teenagers) and it seems that I get irritated by the dumbest things wether it be they didn't rinse out a dish or it could even be the video game that they're playing. I went up to my room and just cried and had no idea why. I thought I was crazy so I started looking up why pregnant women cry. your article made me feel much better and I even laughed. thank you for sharing :)

Anonymous said...

My GF and I are about to pop any day now that we're well into our 9th month and let me say that Pregosaurs Rex will continue to butt its hormonal head all the way to the finish line. For a while there, things evened out and she had a pretty good grip on why she was being emotional. Lot's of "I'm sorry, I'm just being hormonal right now and I need my space". Perfect! However...please be warned, this is just a fantastic facade of normalcy. I made a few off comments yesterday about money and an issue with the Vac (she vacuumed the entire house on the "hose" setting and was EXTREMELY upset because I hadn't switched it back to "Floor" before putting it away the last time). Let me tell you she packed her bag and is at her mom's house right now down the street. WTF right? They will try to rationalize things with you while arguing and if you try to rationalize back you're the bad guy. You can't be right EVER while they're pregnant. Don't even try. Pregnancy can turn a normal, loving woman into a psychotic irrational hot mess. Not that it's their fault but hey, us partners need a break too!

Anonymous said...

my partner/x partner are 17 weeks pregnant. 3 weeks ago i was kicked out. reason well as she yelled at me (i dont need a reason just get out) so i left, sleeped in my car a few nights till i went to a freinds house to stay. 4th, 5ht day that i was out on my ass, she txt me asking if i wanted to go to her parents for tea. i took her up on it. went to leave after droping her off at home when finished tea and she asked me to come in. i did and all was well she did say she dont know why she did that etc. 3 weeks later im now back at my mates. she kicked me out a week ago. same thing no reason doesnt need one and im not alowed to have anything to do with her nad the 2 kids. which are from a prevous relationship. there is just no talking, i try but just get told to f off. ask her when our next scan is and get told i dont know. ask how she is and the baby and get told it doesnt matter and all i get is diffacult answers. im lost and i dont know what to do. i have contacted her parents and goin to talk to them tonight. im lost. any advice out there?

Anonymous said...

All I can say is I'm with you guys and I hope someone can give me some advice too. Same old story: madly in love, amazingly happy, gf got pregnant very quickly but a happy accident. First couple of weeks great, then the small arguments started. Then a massive blow out resulting in me being kicked out. She keeps asking for space and that was a month ago. We have spoken/texted a couple of times but generally I am being ignored. I desperately want to go home and care for my sweetheart, but am so worried its more than "just" hormones...
She is 11 weeks.

Help?!

Anonymous said...

Im 28 and my fiancee is 8 mons... thingss stsrted off really well... now al she does is complai abt being tired.. when she gets in her moods i cnt stand it. Its like aim a punching bag for her attitudes.... even tho i go outta my way to keep her happy i feel so unappreciated... and she knows it bothers me but her attitude is so uncaring it just tears me up inside.... even something as simple as getting a kiss is a problem.... ... pray for me..

Anonymous said...

Im 28 and my fiancee is 8 mons... thingss stsrted off really well... now al she does is complai abt being tired.. when she gets in her moods i cnt stand it. Its like aim a punching bag for her attitudes.... even tho i go outta my way to keep her happy i feel so unappreciated... and she knows it bothers me but her attitude is so uncaring it just tears me up inside.... even something as simple as getting a kiss is a problem.... ... pray for me..

Anonymous said...

Hi! Im 15 weeks pregnant, and I also cried whilst reading this.
My fiance is currently 'out for a drive' after i whinged at him for taking so long to get ready and not talking to me/texting me back (ever). I think he's having a tough time dealing with the emotional me, as I'm normally quite level headed and calm. I don't let him see me cry, ever. I don't like people seeing my emotions, but it's getting harder and harder with every day of this pregnancy. I wish he'd read up on how I'm feeling, but he doesn't bother....I feel alone.

Anonymous said...

yup

Bill, almost a dad said...

Hi Anonymous (15 weeks pregnant),

Maybe you need to share your feelings with him or let him see you cry. He shouldn't have to read a book to know how you're feeling, you should be able to tell him. I can understand that he's having a hard time, but you need to say to him that it's all a function of the hormones and you need his support.

He's going to be your husband and I'm sure there will be plenty of tears over the course of your marriage so you need to learn to let him in a little otherwise you'll be miserable and he'll be confused. Having an emotionally open relationship will not only benefit you both, but it will be a healthy environment for your child; that's the main reason why you need to work on your relationship with him now.

Best of luck,
Bill

Anonymous said...

Here we go ... Me an my gf dated for about 6 months when we found out we were having a baby ! Both of us were happy we both loved kids and we both worked daycare ! But right away she started acting different twards me . Standoff ish not wanting any sort of affection but I pushed on ... I quit my band tospend more time with her and the baby picked up 2 new jobs got us the apt she wanted bought all new furniture she wantrd moved to her home town 45 min awayfrom my jobs cooked cleaned helped her in any way possible yet still she just acted like I was almost a stranger we barley talked and she just was turned off with everything about me ... Shes now 6 months and last week she told me shes not in love with me anymore said I was the best bf shes eve had and going to be a great dad but she feels nothing for me . I tried to tell her its the hormones or depression that she has but she keeps saying its not . We broke our lease she moved in with her parents and now idk what to do ... She had no reason to fall out of love . I love this girl like crazy and want a normal family... My only plan is to just wait till our son is born and pray she snaps out of it . Thoughts ??

MAR IIOO said...

I'm goen threw the same thing. It's no point of saying anything ur just gona make it worst.. on ur feelings come on man ur a guy.. man up ur about to have a child trust me ur gona feel unappreciateed for a very long time.....

kyle mischief said...

Hey, Anonymous,
My fiance' is 6 weeks and haven't gone through anything to dramatic other than the obvious hormonal fun. I'm here looking for more or less something to feel more wanted myself i don't feel the touch gone completely, and i dont want to sound selfish but i miss some thing's, As i'm sure when this kid comes I'm going to be the least of worries.

We are 22, and 23, And ever since this has started, i feel. and i could be wrong, that she is feeling less attractive (could it be me?) we have been together for more than a year, and have known from day one, that it was bound to be. We are alway's more than willing to make anything work. I wade on her hand and feet. She want's water, i go get it, she wants a back rub. I drop what i'm doing even if it's just 10 minutes even more so now that she is bearing my child. And i expect nothing in return.

Recently, thing's have changed, her leaving her job behind to start school, she has started to go stir crazy at home. She is taking online course's and stuff to do while cooking our bun in the oven, I'm more or less hooping for some tips, and things that i can help, it's boiled down to .. me turning on myself, and that's not going to make any situation better... HELP!!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the posts everyone - in a moment of compulsive irritation I googled "pregnant wife crazy" and ended up here.
Before this blog I was about to spreadsheet a mammoth analysis of my shortcomings, failures, and disappointments followed by a resigned obedient demeanour after tattooing 'slave' across my calf to remind me of my role. And it's not like I am unaware of this crainess, although it has been a while since my long time ex-wife brought me 2 beautiful childredn. She was also craze I recall, but this takes the cake. Complications include my 2 children living with me half of every week, my job is hectic in corporate finance (but its a job|), I have massive pressure supporting my dad and my bankrupt sister, and brokering arrangements with my ex-wife and overall failing miserably to establish a 'safe and peaceful' supportive loving home environment. The kids can't do anything right, I have failed to bring them up to behave appropriately (i.e. they are not mute mice), and the list is pretty endless. Her bleeding and clotting has complicated the pregnancy substantially, and she is bed-ridden for 3 1/2 weeks with 2 weeks to go to 3 months. I am unable to be home all day to support her, and with my hectic work schedule and child-care responsibilities I have failed to visit her enough and give her the support she needs given that she has moved out to her aunt's house. Today she is mad because I was supposed to send the kids out for a night while I 'contemplate my shortcomings and find out how to rescue the relationship which is looking pretty hopeless' - and at 9:!5pm 'gave in to fetch a daughter' - who called me in tears to fetch her due to allergic reaction to cat hair. Another example of me letting other people ruling my life. After reading all the above, I think I still don't have much choice I guess; my spreadsheet analysis is to come up with an action plan within this craziness, I just wish she wouldn't deal with these issues by running away. I really do try and I really do DO. From miving houses to suit her, to selling (trying to sell) a house with an ex girlfriend, to covering additional costs, by doing more than my share of housework, on top of a job that is hectic while she sleeps in till 9am I guess a man's place is at the foot of his woman, if she ever comes back from the abyss. I do know however, that their is light at the nd of the tunnel, and the children are worth it. I am not so convinced however, given previous experience, whether the power-balance will ever restore. A Man's life is a slave, but you can be a happy slave.

Anonymous said...

I met my fiance 2 yrs ago she had a lil girl that is now 4 yrs old i met her whe she was 5 mths prego after a few months we fell in love she was saying how blessed she was to find a guy that loved her the way I did and that accepted her children as apackage dealnot baggage I graduated from a welding school and found a good job after school and worked there and thats when i found Bethany she and i moved in together after three months and her lil girl started to call me daddy on her own and I love her as my own we then had the lil baby boy, and i signed the birth certificate His last name is mine now we then got engsgrd raised the babies we were very happy. insepearable. couldnt stand being away from each other, came home and just spent every moment together.then we bought a house.all it needed was new flooring, the baby boy turned 1 year my job then started to cut hours. so the job where i have been trying to get in for the last 5 years called me up and asked me if i wanted job my dad has been there for 40 years now. Bethany was happy.I knew God answered my prayers. We were financially struggling and we had to wait 4 weeks for a paycheck, we couldnt afford groceries We found out we were 8 weeks pregnant. she got hormonal. and shes bipolar to add to it. she was overwhelmed with me not being home much because i was always working, and i worked second shift. hardly home to help as much as needed everyday she was planning our wedding, and even up to the day she left me 6/23/12 She wanted me to stay home from work that saturday. I said babe i have to go to work, we only had 49 dollars to our name after bills were paid, and her welfare was cut offbecause i made to much and she was fine. she said she loved me and kissed me and i went to work.poor thing was stressed. and scared. i knew it because i too was stressed. but i knew in my faith in God that we will be provided for. She left and said she loved me, and kissed me 4 or five times. 30 mins later, she texted me and said she was leaving me. pit has been over 3 months now, and now she tells me she doesnt love me anymore. i send her flowers and still buy her and the kids clothes, and diapers, medicine for the baby... and i still try to be there. we were so happy. but now she says she hates my attempts to get her back, i am annoying, and she is going to take me off the birth certificate for her lil baby boy, and persue the Rightful Father... and i havent seen or hears from her or kids in now 14 days. I have been issued child support for the boy, and i understand it is hormones, but three weeks ago, after her telling me to BE GONE, the next day she called me and asked me if i will like to join her for lunch at subway i said yes, and she had our lil baby boy wih her. he is now walking and calls me da da greatest feeling, we ate, and talked some, and was fine. didnt mention to her about coming back. the next day she was mean again and has been since. she is 24 weeks prego now, and as i said, havent heard from her in 14 days. i pray to God everyday, and i cry myself to sleep i love this girl and our kids with all my heart. i trust God to bring her back. her mom has confided in me throughout this she is living with her mom right now and she told me that beth said that she was too overwhelmed with everything. when beth first left me, about 2 or 3 weeks after, we were still hanging out time to time, and she and the kids and i went to festivals, held hands kissed said we loved each other... all the good stuff. even went to stores together to look for things for our house. she acted as if she was planning on coming back. even said we need to go get the baby some new furniture for when HE is born in January. even a few weeks ago she said i needed to get the flooring done in the house for when the baby is here and for the kids. Then she said later that i need to leave her alone and to not come around

rich said...

Women are miserable creatures that want you to suffer like them. Not all women were meant to be blessed with a man like yourself. Just give her what she wants and ride off into the sunset like a lonely cowboy.

Anonymous said...

i cant just give up on her like that Rich... I love her. I believe God will do something so big, so impossible to us humans, that it will have to be Him to do it. My faith is in God. He can do anything.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry brother, I can only imagine how you feel, my only piece of advice is that you just need to hang in there and be supportive. Even though women in that state are incredibly unpredictable with their moods and reactions(reactions are always the curve ball to my strike out) but there are times when they are able to reason with the gravity of their decisions and behavior, don't make her feel bad about her choice, as it could be unhealthy for the child but show her that you care about her and I'm certain she'll come aroud, and if not, it just isn't meant to be and that special someone is just around the bend waiting for you, just be a good father no matter what may come of the situation and don't turn your back on your child because of their mother

Anonymous said...

Hello All,
My Fiance' and I are 8 weeks today and I'm pretty sure I just got a first taste of the "hormone induced beat down" I found this site in turn and it has made me feel better that I'm not alone and at the same time nervous about what may be to come. I love my fiance' with all my heart and I will do anything for her. I'm not concerned with not being able to put forth that effort but I am worried that I will not always know what to do..I have tried to be as supportive as I can be, all i do is try to think of things that will make her happy/more comfortable. After reading all the post on here I feel more comfortable knowing that it may not be something I'm doing wrong and just the hormones. At the same time it is really hard to put this much effort into trying only to have it said that I don't do anything for her and that I've been absent..It hurts..You have to understand I adore this woman. I love her more than I can explain, her opinion of me is really the only one that matters to me so I'm really going to take it hard if it gets as bad as some of the other posts on here. Any advise on what I can do to make things better for her until she gets back to her normal self?

relieved yet scared

before I could enter the code proving I'm not a robot below, she sent me a text that we waste too many trees on junk because the mail weighed as much as her three year old hahaha.. I love this woman

Hunter said...

Hey All !

So glad I found this site..... What a relief. We are at 12 weeks.... and god I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster... Some parts are fun and great, Some parts are scary as shit and I just want to get off the ride ! I also Had the «good» Idea of stopping smoking when we found out...It has been 8 weeks now...and I've just started again 20 minutes ago after another hormone fueled correction from my girl since I was helping someone on how to post on FB. The mix of her hormones and me stopping smoking with champix is a recepie for disaster. I will stop again once things get a little easier on the emotional side. The only thing I can do that makes it easier is hunt ducks and geese...... I get up hunt kill and comeback before she wakes up....and nothing releives stress more then shooting a 12 gauge at birds ! I'm also hunting deer right noe .... but I don't get the same relief...... So from what I've figured out .... DOn't dtop smoking ....and start hunting !

Capricorn Male said...

SO the Answer to ALL THIS is that, we as men, MUST take WHATEVER the Pregnant woman throws at us!? No matter how DUMB, STUPID, CRAZY, IRRATIONAL, ILLOGICAL, EMOTIONAL, DISRESPECTFUL, UNAPPRECIATIVE, AGGRESSIVE, RUDE, MEAN it IS!?????

I NEed to know! I'm starting to feel like a mistake was made although we've been together for 7 years and Lived together for the past year...

Anonymous said...

-___- wish I could of known this sooner lol I'm new at this pregnancy stuff n its driving crazy still love my wife no matter how crazy she gets lol

Anonymous said...

I feel this so hard. My fiance did the same thing in our first pregnancy. We had just moved in together, decided to have a baby. She gets pregnant and is suddenly overwhelmed by everything that is going on. She moved out. Three months later everything was suddenly fine and she just kind of moved back in without asking. Talking to other dads who have been in this situation during the time she was gone I understood that it was just best not to ask why she decided to move back in, but to just be happy she did. So when the time comes, and it will, dont ask why... just be grateful. My son is about to turn three and we are as happy as ever.

Anonymous said...

Ok.... do I have a story for you guys. Well , my gf got pregnant about 9 months ago , and since the begging she has been a witch who has completely destroyed my self worth... We were fighting every day, never could make her happy or make her smile, very little sex, and my balls BUSTED every day. I had tried to go and retreat at my moms house for awhile after losing my job about 4 months in to the pregnancy,through out this time she was constantly nagging every time i was home.. I also just wanted some time to sort things out in my head and figure things out... and since she also has abandonment issues she thought I was leaving her for good... which totally wasn't the case, I would'ny leave her hanging but it was obvious we needed a break from each other or things were going to get worse... so as soon as i get to my moms I find out she's crying every day and she misses me and wants me to come back, so I come back to find she's angry as HELL and acts like she wants to KILL ME, throwing things at me getting into really violent physical abuse with me, ripping the clothes off my back....at this point I'm scared about our relationship and the baby, so I cave in and ask her to marry me thinking that's what she was angry about and we have argued about several times.. it made things better for a little while... things were ok and looking good, her morning sickness had gone away and everything was alright.... for about 2 weeks. THEN I find out she has been talking to her ex boyfriend secretly behind my back and then denies it and lies to my face. so I was Like HELL NO I'm not marrying you! YOU LYING NAGGING BALL BUSTING WITCHn WHO WANTS TO SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF ME! and thats when I went back to my moms house... and of course she some how loured me back with her, like some kind of crazy ass game to see how much bullshit I can take from her.. but suprisingly this time she was ok..... for about two weeks... THEN she puts my life at risk dropping me off in the middle of the highway on my way to get a piss test for a new job because she didn't want to travel that far so I CAN GET A JOB! At the point I wanted to kill myself and jump off the highway bridge... but I took it like a man and sucked it up, bottled it all up because she's pregnant and has an excuse for everything.... so about two days later I have all this lingering anger inside and I just went out for a walk outside the apartments and am just walking around... and I see her call pull out and she doesn't tell me where she's going, I'm like hmmmm thats weird, so I wait outside for about AN HOUR AND A HALF till I decide to just kick the door down since my keys and phone were inside. she comes in, while I'm on my laptop all pissed off and since she thinks I'm cheating on her all the time she decides to get my laptop off of me and throw it across the living room, and also straddle me, in a position like a ufc fighter is about to beat my face in... OMG I WAS SO MAD.. so i pushed her off with my legs, not hurting her or kicking her, and she's on the floor pretending that I hit her.. that makes me even more upset so I start yelling and screaming at her like she's never heard before... I do some battle cry yell and she runs off to her room locks the door, calls the cops. and now I don't get to see my son, I have an assault charge, and I spent the night in jail. SCREW MY LIFE!

Anonymous said...

I made a my girlfriend pregnant and she does wanna see me ever even to hear my voice. she told that she hate me and if i keep on call her she will open a case of harrasment for me. I really love and i don't wanna lose her. I wanted to there for during pregnancy. Unfortunately i cant because she really hates me a lot. So what can i do.


Your Majesty
The Thunder God

Anonymous said...

I am currently pregnant and just recently I can't stand my significant other, he just seems too into himself... maybe its me but ugh I blame him..

Anonymous said...

My ex is about 9 wks pregnant. We had only dated for a few months and she thought the world of me. Now she thinks that I have no ambition and that I am weak. It's laughable that she thinks this but it is truly the way she feels. We are no longer together and she doesn't want to see until a few months down the road. It sucks when you dwell on the bad. In my situation it could end up really bad for me but you have to be a man and do everything you can from now until the rest of your life for your child. Even if it means putting up with her negativity. No regrets

Anonymous said...

good to hear im not alone. my wife is 10 weeks prego, have had an awesome relationship prior, sex is good all that. she gets prego and starts reading about all the possible symptoms she could have and adopts every single one. since we found out, no sex, no cleaning, no cooking; waking up in the morning seems to be a chore and if i could o it for her she would ask. no matter what i do, i can't seem to help her feel better/happier so i feel alone like im living with a crappy roomate. she noticed i was acting distanced and asked me about it. i knew she wouldn't let me be right but im stubborn so told her how i felt. as i expected she lectured me on how bad she has it (i don't disagree) but i feel like there comes a time when you accept the hand you've been dealt and make the most of it. she hasn't done so yet.
I asked her what she was scared of. she said she was scared the way she's acting is a sign she won't be a good mom and that she'll continue to be like this. (that is my biggest fear but i didn't say so).

I hope it gets better. i here trimester 2 is not bad.

Anonymous said...

Yeah its probably you!lol...it won't last forever!

Mr. was good enough 10mins ago said...

I currently live in the living room and sleep on the couch. Pregosaurus Rex has eaten my wife. The refrigerator door can hardly close yet we have nothing good to eat. Two days ago the woman I've loved for almost 14 years told me she didn't love me anymore. I can't wait to see what the next seven months bring. Fml.

Anonymous said...

thank you!
- hormonal pregnant woman

Adventure said...

HI
I am 35 weeks pregnant, and mainly going through a horrible stage of pushing my husband away, mentally and physically.i just happened on this site, this morning as my craziness started to kick in, i had just returned to bed after breakfast and my husband awoke, he went to the bathroom then straight away took his cell phone and started texting, no good morning, no how do you feel, i sat there for awhile then i went downstairs where i have been reading all these post. I feel when i am going to be awful and i try to distance myself so i would not be me to hubby but he just pushes and pushes, also i think it has be rough on us, i had to give of my job as early in the pregnancy it was not going well( this has be though on me having to take it easy not even exercising as they wanted the baby to pass certain stages. Problem number 2 is my husband also choose to leave his job and follow his dream as a film director of documentaries and try to be home we me( MISTAKE) no income, and starting a new company with a baby on the way was too hard on us.I love
this site as i have never seen men speak out, but i would love their view on how i should handle this and he is very happy building his company which takes all his attention . Sorry we are living in france( no support here for me. First time writing to anyone
Asking for advice!!

Anonymous said...

Me my gf been together for 1 year now n. She 13 weeks now Jesus crist help me some one I feel hated so much trying to do what I can around work at home but feel like its never enough praying things change cos il admit I have no patience n am stubborn as hell feel like I live on my own again cos its better to keep out her way than be there for her to argue with me love her so much n really want to do all I can to help but its hard when ya pushed away n its so bloody true us men will do all we can but we can't read minds

Anonymous said...

I have been super hormonal today and like your wife i feel terrible about it. despite the fact that i just cried while reading what you wrote I do appreciate that its not just me!

Good luck to all of you!

Craig Hawkins said...

I cannot believe I have found this site, I thought I was the only man in the world, we have a beautiful 3 year old daughter, we split last year for 3 months but realised we couldn't be apart so got back 2gether and married on 1st Feb "This year"......I have done everything she asked, she wanted to move to a certain area " I didn't " but went along with it and found us a gorgeous 3 bed detached place, my little one went strsight in the 2nd best voted school in the county, we spoke about another child, so she is now 16 weeks pregnant, Iv'e been working so hard trying to pay for the new house, decorate it etc and still try to take us out for family days / meals etc, I noticed her becoming increasingly distant, no more "I love you" no more cuddling, could barely get a bye-bye kiss as i was heading out of the door, no form of physical contact whatsoever, no nice texts during the day at all, then the bobmshell, I don't want us to be together anymore! I don't think I love you anymore! so she has now moved back to her mums along with my daughter whom I barely get to see now! It's breaking me in 2!! Iv'e tried my hardest to do all I can for us and just do not understand, she was exactly the same with the pregnancy of our 1st daughter but as soon as she gave birth went back to normal, this site is amazing as there may be some light at the end of the tunnel I hope, I just want us to be a family as I love them so so much!!

Craig Hawkins said...

I can't believe what I'm reading on this site, I could have written half of these comments as they apply to me so much! We have a beautiful 3 year old daughter, we had a brief 3 month seperation last year but realised we couldn't be apart so got back together, we were trying for another child and she fell pregnant, we married on Feb 1st, she wanted us to move to a certain area which I didn't but never the less I found us a lovely 3 bed detached place, the local school was voted 2nd best in the county! perfect area, peaceful, So in we moved, I work and pay for everything as she is a stay at home mum, I was working hard to try to pay for the house and buy things we need, decorate etc, and still try to take us out for family days / meals etc, one of our "clicks" is that we always have been really into each other sexually! To me everything was perfect, recently married, new home , baby on the way but then I started to notice her distancing herself, no kisses, no hugs, no form of physical contact whatsoever, barely even a goodbye kiss as I was off to work, I tried talking to her but had no response, then she hit me with it, I'm leaving, I don't love you, we can't be together anymore!?!? confused the hell outta me, she has moved back to her mums 6 weeks after we moved into the house that she so desperately wanted and I fought so hard to get for us, I'm absolutely broken by this and miss her and my little angel so so much! I cannot believe what is happening, we had everything that we had both always wanted! I know her mood swings were eratic to say the least with our 1st child but the second she gave birth she went back to being her old self so we got together properly, I really really am at my wits end!!

honeysuckle said...

It's crazy i read all these different stories, and it makes me think of my niece she is 20 has a 1 yr old girl and is now pregnant 6 mo with a little baby boy she met there dad almost 3 yrs ago and they first fell in love right out of high school she got pregnant with there daughter a little quick and they lived with his mother of course had nothing but issues, they finally got there own place and now all of a sudden he decides he can't handle her constant bitching and try's to put the blame all on her and he broke up with her so of course she had no choice but to move back home with her parents and is now she is totally lost and i do not blame her, he is 21 and of course like i said blames her his excuse on breaking up with her was he cant handle her but in all reality is i think he cant handle the idea of growing up and being a man and he is using her being prego as his poor ass excuse to leave her cause he rather hang out with his friends 3 4 times a week while she works 40 plus hours she comes home takes responsibility as a mother yes he works but he thinks hanging with friends is more important now don't get me wrong he loves his daughter and she adores her daddy, but what about mommy, they where so in love when they first met he proposed to her they where going to get married, i just feel so bad for her cause her hormones where raging before and now its worse and he has put so much strain on her emotions that she not eating good hasn't gained but like maybe 8 lbs doesn't seem to care about the baby shower no more, don't get me wrong she is an ossum mother and loves her daughter and is going to love her son just the same but this is soooo hard on her, and with all she is going through i don't think he could evvvvvver possibly understand the kinda strain she is in and going through, i think more men need to read the stories on sites like this to get a better understanding as to what women truly go through. its really sad cause she is so young to be going through this sort of thing so soon in her life when i was her age i had a child to don't get me wrong but i never experienced anything so hurtful till i got much older and she is just going to hold such a grudge towards men waaaaaay to soon in her life, all i know is like i said if you cant handle a little bitchyness for a while cause your girl is acting crazy think before you leap and don't get a girl prego if you cant handle the heat from it cause without you being involved as a man she wouldn't be going trough what she is cause girls don't just get prego on there own it takes you to do that so every man if that's truly what you are stand strong by her side and not make her do it alone cause she wasn't alone when it happened.

Anonymous said...

I woke the other night and my fiancé was awake and told me she wanted to punch me in the face because I was sleeping so well and she couldn't. She's 12 weeks and getting worse...I have a temper and really struggle to keep quiet. I just leave the room and let her play the steel drums or whatever it is she does to make so much noise...shit here she comes!

CataleyaRBIII said...

I am having a horrible time dealing with my wife. She is 9 months pregnant, and I swear I feel like they have been hell. I don't know what to do or say at time. I am somehow always wrong, not that men are ever right agaisnt women, but it got 1000 times worse. And don't get me wrong, I love my wife, but I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like running away and coming back when she is in labor. I have put up with so much. She has called me every name possible in the book. And like someone wrote on there post, we men do have feelings to and can only take so much. Where is the line drawn? When can we actually say stop already. Enough is enough. Or do we have to put up with it? And just shut up and yes honey your right and I'm sorry. And I'm not even sure what I'm sorry about, but I'm sorry.

But more importantly I can't wait for our baby to be born and hopefully my wife comes back to earth. And hopefully we can live a happy life as a family

Katie Roach said...

I am eleven weeks pregnant for the first time. I like to think that I am normally a fairly logical and intelligent person, and I want to have a good relationship with my husband. But for the past month my husband and I have been arguing ALL THE TIME. I know it is my fault, I have been having these crazy mood swings and I say things that I don't mean. I also cry all the time. My husband is so nice, after each argument he says he loves me and not to worry about it. But seriously, we got into it again last night and this morning I thought you know maybe I should just take my tent and camping gear and go live in the woods by myself for a while. MEN YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO BE PREGNANT. We don't want to act mean and crazy and we feel horrible afterwards. Please if your girlfriend or wife acts crazy and calls you names just forgive her and try go get over it.

Anonymous said...

I am 4 months pregnant with my 4th child, recently gone through a deeply trying divorce and consequently some very difficult times financially, emotionally...and everything else ending in "ally"
My boyfriend is 14 yrs younger than me and a wonderful, beautiful person. We have come from very different backgrounds and have had to make some serious compromises to make sure our relationship works, so it has also been an added challenge. Having been through 3 previous pregnancies I can honestly say that although I was a little teary and somewhat cheeky at times, I got through relatively unscathed.
However, this time round, I've taken crazy to a whole new level. Its interesting to read how both men and women say how we, as pregnant women, KNOW we're acting crazy and we must work to control it. The thing with me, is that because I've had SUCH an incredibly difficult and emotional year I struggle to see where I'm being "hormonal" or when my issues are valid. The line is so blurred. I honestly can't tell, and I'm an intelligent person with all the knowledge in the world trying to stay sane.
All I can say to you men out there, is.... try and compare this woman you love in crazy mode, to the person you met. And where the discrepancies are - there's your hormones! Those are the parts you need to ignore, or be gentle with.
It's so difficult though, to explain the rush of emotions that flood your body. It's so hard to explain, and even when you logically KNOW that him calling the company secretary to send an email on his behalf is NO reason to go off the wall, you feel the symptoms start. Your breathing quickens, your heart starts to race, your hands start to shake.... all the symptoms of EXTREME anger, and we just need time and care and gentleness until these chemicals leave our bodies. It's such an unwelcome feeling, it's almost impossible to control.
Sadly, it took the most awful circumstances for myself and my man to actually deal with these matters.
Things have always been...passionate. But looking back, when I felt pregnant this time things went downhill very quickly and our arguments turned into FIGHTS. He has battled with controlling his own anger anyway, so the mix was toxic. We fought, and made up, and 2 days later we were at it again... the one day he went off at me for no reason and I reached the end of my own very short tether and told him to get out of my house. he wouldnt, he dug his heels in and so did I, and it turned nasty. I left, told him I wouldnt be back. That night he went out and got terribly drunk, and as a "single man" kissed another woman. Two days later he told me, just when I thought we were going to work something out, and I FLIPPED out completely. I fell apart, I was broken! That night I told him to call this woman and basically make her feel like I felt, and he refused, said it wasnt her fault. I took that as him choosing her over me, and the mother of all fights started. He yelled, and I physically attacked him - flooded with terrible pain and hurt and anger and HORMONES. He fought back, and being a little person, I came out second best. But the rage... it was frightening. He tried to hit him with a huge fan, a bicycle, a laptop and numerous other household items. I left the house, broken, bleeding and sobbing...he was bruised and traumatised.
BUT, we have used this as a huge wake up and we are both very aware of our own weaknesses... but I have another 5 months of pregnancy to go so it will be hard. However, if we can come through this, in my current state, then we can survive anything.
Don't stop trying people. Ladies - it's tough and hidden well inside our usual emotional states. Men, it's not about you... treat us kindly, dont patronise us and please try and ride the storm.

Anonymous said...

I'm tired of keeping my mouth shut and trying to ignore the meaness and cold-herartedness. I understand there are hormones invloved but that is no excuse for treating your husband like a dirt bag and blaming everything bad on him a little forgive and forget is ok, but it is getting ridiculous at this 4 month mark!!!!!

GhostWriter said...

For me, all the "honey, love, dear, bello" and any kind of sweet noum has been deleted from her vocabulary in an instant.

My fiance, whom I love to death, is regrettably changed unto what so many of you have described. The question for me was, how should I proceed and react to the meanness?

The first few instances were rebutted by me "how on earth would you believe I don't feel for you and what's going on? You are very wrong miss, very very wrong" ...stuff like that only made her cry and then I felt like a true monster...

I told her I only want to be part of "this" and to please do not alienate me. She has apologized in brief moments of sanity--but they don't last long. Thanks to blogs like this, I have been able to see what's really going on.

Yet, even when I know this is hormonal, sometimes I ask myself if she doesn't see how mean she's being or selfish and downright unjust.

I'll try to build a mental fortress to withstand the blows because sometimes they are so strong that I feel they can bring down the relationship; however, I know better.

Anonymous said...

I'm mark iv been with my wife 2 years been married 5 months,my wife living with her mum and dad till I sell my house I live 60 miles away but I make sure I see her every week,she is 4 and half months pregnant every thing was ok we wasvso in love ,when she found she was pregnant then a light switch went off on her amd she completely changed,she found out she had depression of doctors but she kept pushing me away, 2 days ago my birthday was yesterday she said she does'nt love me anymore and we should'nt of got married, her mum says its her hormones but I don't know please help mark