Around
"I'd like a candy bar and a back rub," she said to kick things off.
"A candy bar and a back rub?" I replied quizzically looking up from my laptop. She was laying on the floor doing some light yoga to stretch out her back at the time, and looked up at me with a grin that I just couldn't say no to.
"You're crazy. You know that don't you?" I replied with a smile. I turned my attention back to my screen in an attempt to finish my work before I set out to fetch a Three Musketeers.
"Why? I'm hungry," she said playfully.
"I'll go get you a candy bar," I admitted in a tone slightly frosted with defeat.
She shot back with "What, I can't get a back rub?" in a tone sharper than her initial request. I looked up a little disbelievingly.
"You're un-friggin-believable," I said, shaking my head and continuing to type.
As I neared the end of my work I realized that she hadn't said anything in a few minutes. A few minor sniffles perforated the silence of a commercial break on TV and quickly caught my attention.
"Are you crying?" I asked, somewhat disbelieving.
"No." And she wasn't. Not quite yet.
"What's wrong?" I pried.
As soon as she began to respond the waterworks let loose.
"I'm just really uncomfortable and I feel bad asking you to do all these things..."
She continued down her relatively short list of "why I'm crying" in a tone that sounded like an orgy of critically wounded geese, so I didn't pick up a lot of the finer points. I could tell those points didn't really matter. "My back hurts and I'm sorry that I’m hormonal" were the captions of her pregnancy-fueled, hormonally catalyzed mini-melt down.
I sat down next to her and told her that it was okay and I didn’t mind her requests at all, she just has to work with me a little sometimes. I said that I can only imagine all the changes that she’s going through and I’d do anything I could to help her. That made her cry more because she now felt worse that I was being understanding.
“How about I massage you with a candy bar?” She began to laugh. Laughter is a good way to diffuse a pregnant loon. So I rubbed her back for a little while and eased her back pain woes. The candy bar craving passed on its own at some point during the massage.
A few points of pregnancy wisdom I gleaned from this experience:
1. Don’t make a pregnant woman feel worse than she already does. It’s your job to keep quiet. Putting up with her craziness is the male analogy of experiencing hormones directly, it’s just something you have to go trough as part of pregnancy.
2. A pregnant woman may not even be aware she’s acting strange. If she isn’t, then don’t bring it to her attention. She may forget about what she did later on and only remember your reaction.
3. If a pregnant woman wants food, she wants it five minutes ago.
4. Don’t expect an apology from a pregnant woman, and don’t ask for one. If you happen to get one, that’s icing. Just support her lunacy and cravings, and keep in mind that she’s going through a tough time.
13 comments:
LMAO! I found a link to your site form Yahoo Answers, Thought I would check it out. I honestly have never laughed so hard in my life! This is me true and true. My poor husband! I am currently 9 Months pregnant and act the same way and like your wife realize im doing it which kinda makes it worse sometimes lol. I really enjoyed reading this and Im surely going to browse through the rest of your sight! Good luck to you and your wife and Congrats on your soon to be new arrival!
OMG, my experience exactly right down to the laptop!
I have been married for three months, and my wife is 13 weeks pregnant. I agree that we moved really fast in our relationship as we dated for only 4 months before we decided to get married, and found out she was pregnant while doing wedding plans. so we have only been together for alittle over 5 months. She was hit hard with this pregnancy as she has been bed ridden for 7 weeks. She is in pain , vomiting everyhting she eats and nauseated all the time. My wife was a very active person highstrung and full of energy. a very spiritual woman and caring. never missed a sunday of church and she felt and told me many times that she adored me and that she loved truly loved me. I recenlty discovered that i am bipolar which would explain why sometimes i would act the way i would in instances and have episodes of irritability , paranoia , and deperesion and she unfortunately was the one taking this. But despite my episodes, i was and am and a very sweet , caring and loving boyfriend at the beginning and now still as a husband, since she has been ill i have been taking care of her 24/7 except when i am working my fulltime job. I have no life outside of my job and taking care of her. The past two weeks she has turned into a totally different person , she is cold , unfeeling, uncaring , distant and borderline heartless with me, and i feel that the love she once said she had for me is gone, but i ask myself how can you stop loving someone in 5 months? She did tell me a week ago that she was tired of everyhting , but i feel she is saying that she is tired of everyhitng about me. and now she feels trapped and is regretting the marriage and even being pregnant. I even asked her what she wanted and she only said that all she cared about was the baby and getting herself back to normal.and hopefully being the person she once was . and when i asked her what about me ? do you want me to stick around? she said "if you want" ...evryone keeps telling me its a combination of her hormones, the fact her lief has changed so much in such a short period oftime and alittle aloso that maybe she is disappointed about the way ia m , even though i did explain to her that i had found out i was bipolar and that that was the reason for some of my behavior. I really dont know what to do. i truly am a very sweet , caring and loving man that has tried his best to love this woman that i truly fell in love with and now i feel that she has changed her mind after only 5 months together. I do not leave becasue she hasnt asked me to and becasue i feel that it is my responsibility to take care of her and my child. She is 25 yrs old and i am 34 ...so i know there is some age gap there but i never thought she would or anybody for that matter would stop loving someone just like that. I wish i knew what to do or what to think. any advice would be greatly appreciated
my girl is 13 weeks along and a week ago she loved me wrote me letter hugged me kissed me now she cant stand me she wants me to move out she says she doesnt love me and all she cares about is the baby she wont even sleep in the same room as me or so much as talk to me god i need help what should i do i cant leave cuz i have to take care of her or thats how i feel and shes been heartless uncaring i mean ive never heard her talk to anybody the way she does me im so lost at what to do
I am a pregnant woman currently and yes I am a little hormonal I understand that. I don't notice it while I am getting upset or crying, but once I'm done I do. My boyfriend just doesn't get it. He thinks that I am just always 'b****y' all the time according to his words during our last argument. I can't help it. I feel bad, but shouldn't he? I mean, I didn't do this on my own.
My Mrs is 12 weeks pregnant and to be honest it has been a very rough time for both of us. I know that if I'm feeling the way I am, she must feel even worse. It is very hard for both, but I will never be pregnant and will never fully understand what she is going through. I noted some previous posts and their experience, and to be honest it does put it all into perspective.
Men - If you don't have patience, you better get some and real quick.
From the moment your Mrs tells you she's pregnant, you have 2 choices 1) Happy 2) Right.
You can't have both... I know its a crapper but seriously, swallow your pride, smile and don't let it get you down.
Women - Give us a break, most of us are trying, we do love you and are still in love with you, we want to help and......no, we can't read minds :)
:)
I knew my girlfriend for about three years prior to us starting a relationship. We were only together for a short time before we became pregnant. In the begining we were very happy, even talked about getting married. I couldn't have been any happier then I was a that time. Soon after she became very sick with "morning" sickness but it was all day for two weeks. I felt so helpless. Soon after that, she decided she didn't want to be in a relationship with me. Now we barely talk and when do it's just about baby and doctor appts. Right now she's 12 weeks. I realize thing's happened fast with us but now I'm lost without my "family".
I'm really sorry to hear everything you're going through. It's got to be really tough to go through that.
The best thing you can do is try and be as involved as possible. Don't give her a valid excuse (you being absent) to not want to be with you. Even if things were to not work out with her, you need to be there for your child.
Keep in mind that she is in a very emotional state. I can't tell you that she will change her mind in the future, but she will change back to more of the person you used to know. She is going through a lot of hormonal changes right now and her outlook on your relationship may change once she gets through this. If you're still standing there supporting her through it all, there's a better chance you'll be with her and your kid when it's all said and done.
Be tough and hang in there. Try and find someone you can talk to, friend, family or counselor, to help keep yourself sane through all this. Let me know how things go.
my husband is bi polar & adhd. and i'm currently weeks pregnant my advise to gentle man who is bi polar is get an offical diagnosis and then try to find some meds that work for you. if your constanty tryng to find medication that makes your relationship better. It always help when im pissed at my husband if i go to the doc appoints with him. As for the crazy part i don't think im crazy yet... We have a 5 year old and another on the way. But what pulled us throught the thick and the very thin was that we were commited to each other. Also my husband has a complete fixation of loving me That helps when he's cycling. maybe you need to incourage her to learn about bi polar. also we can't afford councelling but i think anyone with bi polar needs to get councelling for the whole family. problems manifest in strange ways that greatly effect relationships. good luck all... and cheers to us crazy gals!!
Man my fiance used to love spending time with me and making love. Now she thinks we spend too much time together and wants to cut down on the sex. Plus shes always moody n will start ussing anf cussing over nothing even if were just talking. Help me please
My fiance is 20 weeks and just when I thought I was getting a grip on things and we started to remember why we are together a whole new set of emotions came about. We were together for a few months before becoming engaged and now are questioning the whole thing. The hormones are a blind sided punch from Mother Nature. I don't want to leave and feel that this is a test of our commitment so all I will do is button down the hatches and ride out the storm, hopefully we will come back together when all is said and done. I can only imagine what she is going through.
I love reading this site, it helps so much!!
My wife is now 7 weeks pregnant, and its 3 weeks since we found out.
As soon as we found out, I took over all house duties, been telling myself to keep calm in all circumstances and biting my tongue as much as possible.
The first few days were magical, and then came the sickness. Morning, noon and night and time in between. I tried giving her everything from Travel Calm tablets, to ginger biscuits but she won't listen and refuses them. Now we are at a not eating stage, and when miraculously she does eat there is no way on this earth that it can be something in the house - apart from fruit!!
The past week of not eating, vomiting and continous sleeping has left me somewhat worried, but people...... well, her mother.... keep telling me its all natural. I know she will be very tired as her body is creating a new human being, but in bed for 4 days only getting up to vomit, urinate and check where I am doesn't seem natural to me, especially as I don't remember my mother being like that on any of my 4 of my siblings? (7 years difference between me and the next one down)
But anyway, I did have a "win" last night.
Hormones 0 - 1 Calm Me
No doubt I won the battle, but I have no chance of winning the war!! {;- )
As soon as I saw my wife yesterday evening I knew it was going to be a hormonal night (I have been waiting and waiting for it to kick in, pleased with every day that passes without it) and at some stage I would be all the names under the sun, so I kept my distance as much as possible (keeping my head in the Fatherneed book I have) and tried to keep things light hearted.
Then it started.
She got up from the matress and grabbed the hot water bottle, went to the kitchen and started bashing and slamming it around (maybe the cat cover seemed to be fighting her and she was trying to kill it). And so obviously I asked her "would you like me to do that honey?"
"no" was her response followed with "you said you've been working hard today....." (the rest I tuned out of) and off she stomped upsatirs.
20 minutes later (after toilette and shower) she came back down picked up the water bottle "I see you didn't f*!#ing do this!!"
"Ummm.....well I did ask you if you wanted me to, and you said no" I replied in as calm a voice as possible.
"Well you should bl00dy know what I mean" was her enraged response.
I managed to stop my mouth from smirking, or saying any of the million things running through my brain, but giggled inside.
"Yes darling, I'm sorry" I said, and after another swipe at the cat cover that she seemed to quiten down (maybe reflecting on what she had just said).
Thankfully things calmed down after that and the rest of the night passed calmly, but I have a feeling that I am going to pay for it this evening.
I endeavour to keep my tongue bound and listen to the enraged on-slaught without response, but there is only so much a guy can take at a time, and she really knows how to press the buttons - to battle we shall go.
PS. When I say "battle" I mean the battle to keep quiet and calm.
Today we got into a 2 hour fight because my friend didn't look at her while telling me a story over breakfast.
The thing that drives me nuts is that she's always great in public or with other people -- but when we get home she yells at me incessantly.
Has anyone tried telling a pregnant woman that she's being horomonal? I have mixed success with this.
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