As I mentioned before I have made a practice of talking to my wife's pregnant belly a couple times per day. I 'm hoping that hearing my voice in utero will not only help stimulate the baby but also help him develop some sort of affinity for me once he's born.
It has helped me to personalize my friendly fetus and has made him more real to me. While I don't often say much of any value, I realize recently that I don't like to stop talking to him without saying goodbye. Weird, I know, but I feel like I'm on a phone call with a friend and I don't want to just hang up on him. So I've developed a little catch phrase of my own for wrapping up pregnant tummy conversations.
Although not quite like Cronkite's "and that's the way it is," I have adopted a sign off of my own. Cronkite would probably scare the crap out of a child anyway. So now every time I talk to my baby I wrap up my monologue with "I hope you grow happy, healthy and strong."
Belly Conversations, signing off
Dealing with pregnant women, a survey about what dads don't say
Everybody wants answers, but sometimes you need to ask a few questions first.
One of the most frequent ways men find this blog is through the search term "dealing with pregnant women" on Google. I find it interesting that the term "dealing" is used, as it clearly suggests that there's some issues with pregnant women which are causing problems for expectant fathers; that there is something to be "dealt" with in the first place.
However, beyond search referrals from that term, and even from my personal reading and research, the things about pregnant women that really bother expectant fathers are not clearly stated out there in the world. It may not only be difficult to find other fathers with similar experiences, but it may be that there isn't much out there for them to find.
Part of the pregnancy experience for men is that they in fact do not feel allowed to express themselves in fear of upsetting the mother. Furthermore, saying something about the difficulties of pregnancy may subject a man to critical judgment from others. Men are made to think that doing so would be selfish. After all, it's all about her isn't it? Or is it difficult, but very different, for both of you?
The problem is, without anyone to talk to or to share in this time, a man can easily feel marginalized. I am very lucky in that my wife and I communicate well with eachother. I can tell her that she's being a nut job (in different terms) and she won't hit me or yell at me. Likewise she tells me when I'm being a pain or not being adequately supportive. It doesn't mean that I don't fear for my testicles on a regular basis, but a lot of other couples are not so lucky and it can be an incredibly trying experience.
So here I am, I'm your sounding board. Post comments, email me, let me know what's bothering you about pregnant women and I'll try and get you an answer. I have a 10 question survey if you feel so inclined, but let me hear it. You need someone to commiserate with, not just share in the high times.
Survey link: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=KPhqJr5Kz0QShATNbRKXbQ_3d_3d