10 Ways To Help Pregnant Women Feel Better

Direct from the Almost A Dad reader survey, here's a list of 10 tried and true ways to help pregnant women feel better, physically and/or emotionally.

1. Back rub / foot massages. This topped the list as AaD reader's favorite way to help their pregnant partners feel better. Pregnant women are often sore and uncomfortable due to increased weight, dietary changes and the fatigue that comes with growing a baby. A massage is a fantastic way to help ease the tension in her neck, back and shoulders. Have her sit on a pillow or lay on her side to make sure she is comfortable and relaxed.

2. Ginger ale. A good old fashioned favorite, ginger has a settling effect on the stomach and can be served in a few different ways. If ingested for an upset tummy or nausea, serve warm and flat. If it just hits the spot, serve cold. Mix with cranberry juice and ice for a refreshing treat and some good vitamins.

3. Time alone / Time to relax. This cuts both ways so be careful; you don't want to leave her alone too long, but you don't want to smother her either. She is tired, hormonal and may need some time to think about all the upcoming changes in her life.

4. Certain foods. Food can be friend or foe to a pregnant woman depending on mood, trimester, health and a host of other factors. Find out what your pregnant partner likes and stock up so she can have it at a moment's notice. Try and find healthy snacks if your partner is at risk of gestational diabetes. Just be prepared that she will suddenly hate what she loved yesterday.

5. Talking. Pregnancy can be as confusing and scary as it is exciting. Pregnant women go through so many physical changes, which says nothing for all of the emotional and even logistical changes you both with encounter. In the face of such a massive life event is helps to have someone to talk to. Give her an attentive ear and share some feelings of your own.

6. Attention / Compliments. Attention and compliments do well even when she's not pregnant. Spend time with her and tell her how beautiful she is and what an amazing mother you think she'll be.

7. Helping her out as much as possible, tasks, chores. Household responsibilities shift during pregnancy, there's no way of getting around it. Expectant mothers tire quickly (physically and emotionally) and often feel poorly a fair percentage of the time. Start by transitioning the chores that involve any lifting or physical exertion. Branch out into the niceties that make it easier for her to relax like some extra cleaning or picking up. Remember that a pregnant woman should never change the cat box.

8. Constant apologies, whether right or wrong. While I don't think you need to become a whipping boy, taking a lighter tack towards proving a point and avoiding conflict with an hormonally charged woman isn't the worst approach in the world.

9. Letting her have her way all the time. I personally disagree with this to some extent, however it came up quite a bit. Like #8, I think that softening your approach and being accomodating is important, but if you totally bow down to every ridiculous whim you may find yourself ready to snap by the end of the pregnancy. It's about balance and understanding that her circumstance is effecting her emotionally. With that in mind, cater to her as much as you can, but preserve your own sanity as you go.

10. Playing it by ear. One reader who seems to have a good handle on what can be a volatile situation wrote "I find that just playing it by ear is best. If she clearly needs space, I give it. If she clearly needs a hug, I give it. If she clearly needs onion rings at midnight, I go out and find them."

And a bonus...

11. Exorcism... because sometimes it's safest to get out of the house for a couple of hours.

Top 10 remedies to the Top 10 things not to say to a pregnant woman

A few days ago I listed the top 10 things not to say to a pregnant women, and today I've got some responses for damage control in case you happen to slip up and utter one of those phrases. You'll notice a pattern; the best way to diffuse a hormonal pregnant woman in many of these situations is a two step process of amuse and divert. However, some things you just can't get out of. Avoiding these phrases is the safest way to go, but if that doesn't work try the process of disappear and deny: get out of there and then pretend like it never happened afterwards.

And now, 10 things to say if you said one of the top 10 things not to say to a pregnant woman.

1. Statement: "I think cankles are sexy. "
Remedy: "I'm just kidding. You obviously don't have cankles!" Now run, insulting and sarcastic as I said before, this one is hard to get around. Buy her something nice. This mistake made twice will cost you your genitals if not your life.

2. Statement: "Those stretch marks will go away, right?"
Remedy: She may hit you, get quiet or start crying, or some combo there of. You need to buy something to fix this. Admit your insensitivity and buy her some good quality lotion or bio oil to help with stretch marks. Give it to her with a bow on it and apologize for being an insensitive ass.

3. Statement: "I'm not going to buy you new clothes if you keep outgrowing them."
Remedy: "I was just kidding, but it was insensitive none the less." Follow up and give her a gift card to a maternity store. The comfort she'll have from a few well-fitting items will more than offset the financial cost by reducing the amount of grief you'll have to put up with from her.

4. Statement: "Wow, that woman looks great for having two kids."
Remedy: "That must have cost a fortune in plastic surgery." Get catty, it's fine if it prevents personal injury.

5. Statement: "Why are you so tired?"
Remedy: Women hate when you show that you don't understand them, so turn this into a joke. "What, are growing another person or something?"

6. Statement: "What is wrong with you?"
Remedy: Follow immediately with "What, are you pregnant and tired or something?" She still may get her back up and claim she's not acting hormonal or strange. Back away slowly and don't turn around until she's out of sight.

7. Statement: "Will you get me something from the frigde?"
Remedy: If she's anywhere near the fridge and asks what, just say "a hug" because it's trap. If she doesn't throw something at you, she will remember that you asked her, in all her pregnant rotundity, to wait on you and will explode at a later date. If she's not near the fridge, just say "I'm kiding. Do you want anything wile I'm up?"

8. Statement: "You're starting to move like a [anything]. " i.e. "You're starting to move like a penguin."
Remedy: "I'm saying that of course because the penguin is a symbol of femenine beauty to the people of the Maldives." For this one you're hoping that:a. you can draw a positive parallel between the object (e.g. penguin, bear, truck) and your pregnant partner or
b. you can come up with a funny or obscure enough reference to make her laugh.
She still may hit you.

9. Statement: "You're not as much fun as you used to be."
Remedy: Again, keep it light and follow with "What, are you pregnant and tired or something?" Quickly divert conversation to focus on her. "How are you feeling by the way?"

10. Statement: "Are you really going to eat that whole sundae / sandwich / pizza ?"
Remedy: Follow immediately "Because I'd love a bite if you don't want it all."
Think on your feet, if you don't follow up quickly with this one, it won't work. If there is a delay try something like "I forget that you have to eat for two sometimes."

Rember, an ounce of prevention is worth at least a pound of blood that you'd lose if you actually say one of these things to your wife.

Top 10 Things Not to Say to pregnant women.

As I've said before, conversation with a pregnant woman is a tricky proposition. Hormones, physical discomfort and general craziness make pregnant women irritable and conversation difficult for dads. That being said, here are ten things an expectant father should never say to the pregnant mother of his children. In the days to follow I'll offer some minor verbal remedies to these foot-in-mouth mistakes if you've ever crossed the line.

Let me preface this list by saying that when I posed a similar question on Yahoo! Answers about the worst thing a fathers have said pregnant women, I received some absolutely horrendous answers. It made me wonder if I had accidentally posted to a group for Jerry Springer guests.

On a serious note and above and beyond the somewhat comical items listed below, pregnancy is not the time to bring up major questions, like whether or not you want to stay with the mother. That is something you should have confronted before you and your partner conceived. If the opportunity previously did not present itself, then wait until the appropriate chance does, but don't just run off. Things often don't work out between people, I understand, but the stress cause abandoning a mother during pregnancy could cause harm to your child.

If you think you just can't handle it and are run off on a woman you got pregnant, grow a set and keep them in your pants next time.

And now, 10 things not to say to a pregnant woman.

1. "I think cankles are sexy. "
Insulting and sarcastic, this one will cost you. For those of you who aren't familiar with the term cankles, it is when a person's ankles are as wide as their calves.
Calves + ankles = cankles.

2. "Those stretch marks will go away, right?"
Women loath stretch marks and are sensitive about them. You'll probably never see her naked again.

3. "I'm not going to buy you new clothes if you keep outgrowing them."
Her credit card will probably start smoking soon from overuse during a spite-inspired shopping spree.

4. "Wow, that woman looks great for having two kids."
You don't say that to a woman who isn't pregnant.

5. "Why are you so tired?"
She is going to tell you why. In great and graphic detail. She may use one of the pregnancy terms I mentioned before. “Well, maybe because my uterus is stretching to over 1,000 times its normal size!”

6. "What is wrong with you?"
Have you spoken to a woman before? Do you never learn?

7. "Will you get me something from the frigde?"
Unless she's within relative proximity to the refrigerator, any item she retrieves from there will be delivered at high speed and aimed at your head.

8. "You're starting to move like a [anything]. "
Brace yourself, she will both hit you and cry, but not necessarily in that order.

9. "You're not as much fun as you used to be."
This will go one of two ways, either silence or verbal tirade from her. Either way, don't expect to talk to her for at least another ten minutes. If it does go the way of the tirade, expect some more pregnancy vocab words.

10. "Are you really going to eat that whole sundae / sandwich / pizza ?"
Don't make a fat joke. Don't make a fat joke. Don't make a fat joke. Just make sure you're not making her feel self conscious about eating and that she does get proper nutrition.

Top 10 pregnancy terms that make men (and women) cringe

Many pregnancy and childbirth related topics have the ability to make men cringe with speeds nearing that of light, myself included. Often times a particular visual may trigger this reaction. The sight of a baby's head crowning during birthing scene in the movie Knocked Up had that effect on me. I yelled "oh!" so loud in the middle of the theater I sounded like Andrew Dice Clay.

Other times a word or two to is all that is require to make a man recoil in fear. Below are ten of the worst offenders. These words are inevitable as pregnant women like to surprise you by suddenly discussing something in mid-sentence that is best reserved for an ObGyn desk reference manual.

Of the following phrases, some sound worse than they are while others are nasty in expression and by definition. These are legitimate, frequently used terms in pregnancy in birth, so I'm just preparing you expectant fathers. I'm not trying to scare you, just preview what is in store for you. I may offer brief, non-scientific definitions for those terms which are sound worse than they are. For others I will make no further reference, not even a hyperlink. If you're so inclined, look it up yourself as I don't want any part of it.

1. Mucous Plug - kinda like an internal baby cork

2. After Birth - look it up yourself

3. Fundus - the top of the uterus

4. Cracked nipples - ouch!

5. Leukorrhea - look it up yourself

6. Perenial tear - a tear in perineum (a.k.a 'taint)

7. Bloody show - occurs within 24 hours of labor, look it up yourself for more detail

8. Membrane rupture - look it up yourself

9. venous thrombosis - a blood clot, typically in the leg

10. Any term with "stretching" or "tearing"

10 Things you need to know about dealing with a pregnant woman

1. She probably has to pee, right this moment.

2. Her mood may change at any moment.
... and then change back. Then back once more.

3. Morning sickness does not just occur in the morning.
Some women experience morning sickness all day, or feel worse into the evening. Be sympathetic.

4. She looks at you differently now.
This can work both ways, if you actively engage in preparing for the baby, she may love you more deeply. If you don't, she may be weary of your suitability as a father.

5. It takes a fraction of the time for her to get upset that it previously did.
Probably about a quarter of the time it used to.

6. You will hear the female anatomy discussed with unparalleled candor.
It will make you uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. You won't look at women the same way.

7. She will get freaked out.
Probably by some article she read, it is your job to find another article that says the first article is wrong.

8. If you don't sympathize with her, you will drop in her estimation.
Demonstrate some empathy for her aches, pains, nausea and fears or your relationship will be strained.

9. Don't expect her to maintain her pre-pregnancy activity levels.
She tires easily and won't be able to keep up with her normal activities, from her job to anything she might do around the house. You will have more to do.

10. She has to pee again.
Seriously.