A bloody show is not an English musical

Along your journey as an expectant father, you will hear the term 'bloody show' used. No, it's not referring to an English play or musical, and yes, it will most likely make you cringe when you hear it for the first time. That's why I put if on my list of top 10 pregnancy terms that make men (and women) cringe).

The term is used to describe the presence of a small amount of blood in mucousy discharge a few days prior to birth. It often may accompany the mucous plug or pass gradually, but usually is an indicator that labor will begin within a few days.

If there is more than a few spots, a pregnant woman should call her doctor and let them know.

A pregnant woman is... 60 things about expectant mothers

Pregnant women are complex. Words almost fail when trying to accurately describe one of these mysterious creatures. Accordingly, I have assembled a list of sixty easily digestible terms which describe some of the many facets of expectant mothers.

Some of these adjectives are things they experience personally while some of these are traits they exhibit, but all are common in pregnant women.

I will try to delve into more detail as I go on, but until then....

A pregnant woman is...

1. adoring you
2. angry at you
3. awesome
4. beautiful
5. changing constantly
6. cleaning
7. clingy
8. clumsy
9. complex
10. confused
11. constantly peeing
12. crampy
13. cranky
14. craving something
15. crying
16. emotional
17. excited
18. exhausted
19. expensive
20. full
21. forgetful
22. forgetful
23. frustrating
24. gassy
25. goofy
26. happy
27. having strange dreams
28. head-achy
29. hormonal
30. hungry
31. impatient
32. irritable
33. itchy
34. laughing
35. loving you
36. moody
37. nauseous
38. needy
39. nervous
40. nesting
41. nostalgic
42. not in control of their own bodies (baby is)
43. not sleeping well
44. out of breath
45. protruding
46. sad
47. scared
48. self conscious
49. sentimental
50. serious
51. sexy
52. silly
53. slowing down
54. sore
55. stuffy
56. thirsty
57. tired
58. unable to touch her toes
59. unhappy with your name choices
60. volatile

Top 10 pregnancy terms that make men (and women) cringe

Many pregnancy and childbirth related topics have the ability to make men cringe with speeds nearing that of light, myself included. Often times a particular visual may trigger this reaction. The sight of a baby's head crowning during birthing scene in the movie Knocked Up had that effect on me. I yelled "oh!" so loud in the middle of the theater I sounded like Andrew Dice Clay.

Other times a word or two to is all that is require to make a man recoil in fear. Below are ten of the worst offenders. These words are inevitable as pregnant women like to surprise you by suddenly discussing something in mid-sentence that is best reserved for an ObGyn desk reference manual.

Of the following phrases, some sound worse than they are while others are nasty in expression and by definition. These are legitimate, frequently used terms in pregnancy in birth, so I'm just preparing you expectant fathers. I'm not trying to scare you, just preview what is in store for you. I may offer brief, non-scientific definitions for those terms which are sound worse than they are. For others I will make no further reference, not even a hyperlink. If you're so inclined, look it up yourself as I don't want any part of it.

1. Mucous Plug - kinda like an internal baby cork

2. After Birth - look it up yourself

3. Fundus - the top of the uterus

4. Cracked nipples - ouch!

5. Leukorrhea - look it up yourself

6. Perenial tear - a tear in perineum (a.k.a 'taint)

7. Bloody show - occurs within 24 hours of labor, look it up yourself for more detail

8. Membrane rupture - look it up yourself

9. venous thrombosis - a blood clot, typically in the leg

10. Any term with "stretching" or "tearing"