"Shut the f*@k up!"
- my wife, to our refrigerator
That's right, to our refrigerator. In my wife's defense, she rarely ever swears (that's my job), and our refrigerator beeps when the door is left open for more than a few seconds. This was apparently an unwelcome a reminder.
I made several realizations within moments of those eloquent words gracing my ears:
1. It was not directed at me, so I was happy.
2. A pregnant woman swearing at an inanimate object is funny. I laughed, on the inside.
3. For all the feminine beauty that pregnant women embody, a lady with a round tummy yelling at a metal shell is somehow equally as feminine. Again, an internal observation.
4. She always leaves the refrigerator door open and I was glad to hear that the reminder chime prompted her to action. However, had that chime been a verbal reminder from a man, his testicles would have been sheared clean from his body in one surgically precise swipe. Let this serve as a warning.
5. The relationship of a pregnant woman and a refrigerator is very similar to that of a female bear and her cubs; they are two things you do not may not understand and do not want to come between. Just stay away and you'll be fine.