Why pregnant women yell at you ~ Almost a dad

Why pregnant women yell at you

My wife yelled at me when I got home today because her bra strap was bothering her.

"Interesting, honey."

Clearly this was something for which I was responsible in crazy pregnant logic. I began wondering if crazy pregnant logic could be mapped to real life logic, and answer the ageless question of why pregnant women yell at fathers. So I asked that very question of some pregnant women, granted they were not within kicking or accurate throwing distance of my face or testicles.

If you're waiting for some clear cut way to avoid being yelled at by a pregnant woman, I'm sorry, it doesn't exist. You will most likely get yelled at for no reason. Just try and not explode and as one woman put it,

"Guys need to be instructed (early and often) to just reply 'Yes dear' and to say 'I love you' and 'You are so beautiful!' throughout the pregnancy."

In a recent question I posed on Yahoo! Answers, one woman said that"I just look at my boyfriend and want to smack him for no reason at all. And my man is the sweetest most gentle and loving guy in the world." You heard it guys, don't be sweet, gentle and loving.

Maybe try being a jerk? Well, another woman says she yells at her husband because "he'll do really selfish things like asking ME to get HIM something to eat while I'm laying down." Okay, no luck there.

How about trying to sneak beneath the radar and not get too extreme either way? Sounds good except for the multiple women who said that what made them yell was "him breathing." I kid you not.

It's basically inevitable that she will yell at you. Some reported remorse afterwards, but others sounded on the brink of murder.

A few excerpts of what women answered when asked why they yell at the fathers of their children during pregnancy:

1. "It's mostly hormonal for me. It's like all the little things that irritate me but I don't bother with get amplified when I'm pregnant and I can't ignore it.
2. "Him breathing...no seriously
3. "Its hormones I'm afraid you are gonna have to put up with it.
4. "When I was pregnant, I was irritated by my husband because of:
Everything he says
The way he acts
The way he breathes
They way he walks across a room
5. "He plays with his friends way too much for a married man and father!
6. "In my pregnancy I don't like my husband touching me, kissing me or having sex. I get irritable alot easier when he doesn't do things I ask...
7. "In my case it wasn't hormonal.......He was just an A**hole.

Too all you expectant fathers, good luck and stay safe.

219 comments:

1 – 200 of 219   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for undertaking such an endeavor! I'm a mom-to-be in my eighth month and I wish this had been around a long time ago. It gives me some insight into what expectant dads go through, since sometimes those close to you are too close to learn from. At least it has helped me realize just what I put my poor husband through. I'll make sure I pass it on to him.

fishwithoutbicycle said...

My pregnant co-worker (6 1/2months) and I have started reading your blog each afternoon. We have tears streaming down our faces. I worry she may go into premature labor. Hilarious!!! This blog has book deal written all over it. Good luck!! Fish

Bill, almost a dad said...

I'g glad you all like it so much. Fish, if you know any agents or publishers, pass it along!

WittyWriterGal said...

YOU are hysterical and I so feel your pain!!

Anonymous said...

Great blog! My wife is actually in the 8th month with our second child, and we are going through just about everything you describe here, as I type really! I just got in a huge fight about her wanting sushi, and me suggesting we get it later, as I have to work (I work at home) and can't spend 2 hours in or local sushi place. Instead I got chinse/vietnamese take out, which she normally likes....Well...man, was that a mistake...that lead to 2 hours of arguing over how men are inconsiderate and how she hates my mother. Next time I'll just get the damn sushi! Anyhow, I'm glad to know that its not just me and the my wife is on average, your typical irritable pregnant woman.

-Brandon

ps
she is now eating the chinese food she stated she would not eat...and for which she through things at me for...go figure!

Eric said...

My wife is 8 months pregnant and she just told me that the sound of her own chewing bothers her! I think she was trying to make me feel better.

5050 said...

This is so great!!!! I was looking for a book or googling for something on I tunes. My wife is only 5 weeks pregnant with our second child and is already freaking out!!!! It's great to see this, be able to take a break, and get some sound advice......As good of a relationship that you may have - it doesn't make a damn bit of different when you wife is pregnant......She is always mad at you then will feel bad the next day..

I gotta remember to stick with the advice I just read, and remember to hit back with the i love you's and you look great.....

Will try and report back - I love this site!!!!

Bill, almost a dad said...

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for all the great comments! It's an amazing time and I wish all of you the best of luck. That being said, there are also a ton of changes and I hope some commentary from the expectant father's side gives you something to which you can relate and makes the whole process a little easier.

Thanks for reading!

- Bill

Anonymous said...

I'm about 2 months pregnant and I feel like smashing my boyfriends' face in every 20 minutes! I actually hate feeling this way and I feel disgust with the things coming out of my mouth, yet have no control to stop it. I hope my hormones get back on track soon because he's not the most patient and it could get ugly if we don't reach a middle ground soon. People tell him that he won't be right for the next few months and to just grin and bear it... but I'm not sure he's got it in him. Usually where I might back down, I don't see that happening right now. I love your comments and views and will forward this on to my man. Hopefully he'll start understanding that I need lots of patience right now.

Anonymous said...

I think the MOD should inject soldiers with female pregnancy hormones! You aint seen or experienced anything till you've lived with a pregnant woman. Its a pity that nobody tells us dads to be what were gonna go through before the great event. I've been to hell and back in the last 12 weeks and I've just found your blogg, and now it all makes sense! I laughed so loud I cried. Now if she'd only let me back in my house...

Syn said...

Why do pregnant women yell at you? Because they can. Because their bodies are going thru hell, they've likely spent more time than they'd ever want to with their head in the toilet bowl, because every movement eventually can become painful, because a baby's foot is in their ribcage and they can't get it out, because they are sleep deprived when heart burn sets in for a few months, because they feel fat and unattractive.

As a mom of four kids, been there done that, lol.

Anonymous said...

omg this was so funny we have 3 days left till our third child gets here and man have the hormones been raging everything from she doesnt want the kids anymore to im so worthless but i just let it roll off me cause ive been through this before you would have figured us fasthers with more than one kid would learn ,and we wonder why our wives and girlfriends call us morons .

Mickey69 said...

Can I save my marriage?

On flight home from Boston they upgraded me to first class but not my wife. I told her they only had one seat and she didn't really say anything. We're 14 weeks pregnant. I figured she can't drink or eat the lunchmeat sandwich so I took it. Big mistake! Now she wants a divorce after the baby is born. I don't know what to do. She has said so many mean things. I'm just numb. What can I do?

Syn said...

Dude, you are in so much trouble if you are serious and this isn't in fun! You take a 1st class seat when SHE is the one pregnant? (You can say "we" are pregnant but she is the only one with the morning sickness, weird cravings, mood swings, body changes and aches and pains.) Couldn't you have offered to switch seats with her so the pregnant woman could've been more comfortable or turned down the seat if you couldn't and stayed by your wife's side? As far as taking a sandwich from a pregnant woman because you think she can't eat it (not sure why she wouldn't eat it...I've had four kids and eaten lunch meat)...I'd have stabbed my husband's hand with a fork!

If this isn't a joke, you really need to do a whole lot of making up and show her you can be considerate of her condition and what she is going thru. It's time to stop thinking about yourself.

I would've been uber ticked off if dh had left me on an airplane for a first class seat whether I'd been pregnant or not.

Syn said...

Forgot to address this comment you made "she has said so many mean things" (what about her feelings and what you did to her?). After you showed her no consideration, what did you expect a hormonal woman to do? Good luck, lol!

Anonymous said...

This was very helpful, it helps to know that i'm not the only one taking a beating from the misses on a daily basis. I believe she sent me this blog as a way for me to learn how to deal with her during our pregnancy. I would like to know however what happens after the birth. Will wifey return to normal or am I destined to be her eternal irritation? A little hope is needed here. I'd love to hear about others experiences.

Anonymous said...

I believe this is not new for most dad's to be. We've heard of it, but we brush it off cause it's not going to happen to me. It does, so we just need to be reminded that we are not alone. Dad's, keep your head up, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel(except for the airplane 1st class seat guy). I can take a pretty good mental beat down, but my wife knows exactly where my soft spots are, she is the Sugar Ray Loenard of jabs and shots. We are in the 5th round and my only defense is a yes dear block, follwed with an I love you jab, then I throw a you're beautiful upper cut, but she keeps coming and coming. Just when I think I am running out of steam, she rope-a-dopes me with a smile, which is really just a smirk, letting me know I am going down. Luckily there is only 4 more rounds to go. The boy is due in November. Thanx for listening.........

Col said...

my girlfriend is at 33 weeks now and its the most difficult thing she has had to do in her life. and its the most difficult thing i have had to experience either!!
Ive tried doing everything right for 8 months but i really find it hard.. i appreciate you guys shedding some light onto this matter. my gf has been angry at me all week, not said a nice word and we should be getting married in 4 weeks (its a strange situation). We were supposed to get the date for the wedding yesterday but she told me that she couldnt be bothered answering the phone to them because shes angry with me!

Should i really just say yes dear again? she really has said things that another man wouldnt say to me.. shes hit me (only through frustration and thank god she doesnt know how to punch) and our relatinship feels to be nothing right now. i feel like brother and sister at the moment.. just co existing.

Should I just say say yes dear i love you again and forget everything because she is pregnant?

it miight sound like a stupid question but im finding it hard!

Bill, almost a dad said...

Hi Col,

As hard as it seems, yes, just grin and bear it. If you read the other comments from both men and women on this and other posts here, you'll realize that you're not alone and this happens to most people. Some of the comments from mom's themselves say it all.

There are times during a pregnancy when your relationship with the mother will be strained. It won't seem all smiles and sunshine like what led you up to getting pregnant in the first place! As long as she wasn't like that before, she likely won't be like that after the pregnancy (although she will be exhausted for a few months.)

It's difficult, but it is well worth it in the end. I would do what you can to make her comfortable and push ahead with the wedding.

Best of luck!

Bill

Col said...

bill

very much appreciated comments!

i think i just need that validation from people with more experience..

im a little scared that if i give in to everything then the rest of our relationship will be like this.

time to do the manly thing and say sorry i think..(although im not quite sure for what :op)

Dadat24 said...

I dont know how you guys do it. My girlfriend is deff not the person I saw myself having kids with. Not in a million years. She moved in with me from her parents house. She's 22 and a spoiled little girl. I cant stand her. She tells me she hates me at least once a week and throws little 6 year old fits and storms out of the room. She's hit me a few times. This weekend we are moving into a bigger apartment and I really dont want to with her but on the other hand I want to spend as much time with my son as I can before we split and also so I have to pay that much less child support. Oh by the way she's due DEC 12th. She has a heart condition that speeds up her heart really fast sometimes and all I can think about is her dieing at childbirth. Are these thoughts normal? I really can not stand her even though I dont tell her. I put my fake smile on every day and compliment her. I pay for EVERYTHING. She works part time at the boys and girls club. She has never saved a penny and blows all her money on worthless things. I hate my life.

Anonymous said...

To dadat. hang in there.
I am finding the same trouble. Life with wife is hell, she was very moody before and I mistakenly thought pregnancy would stop the 2 week monthly narcissistic side. Sadly not its worse, but at least once the whale thing is over our bundle of Joy will make up for all the horrible words, the hitting the lashing out. This is the belief.
Right now its gotten to the state that I have moved to a hotel, because she wanted some space. Well, i'm confused as to whether its a test or she really has got what she wanted and is finished with me. Confused is not the word. Men im starting to understand, no not what goes on at this time and really don't understand. But this is one of the biggest tests you will have in your life, so think wisely and consider that your wife is having a hard time worse than you!

Anonymous said...

i just posted a comment and used the word narcissistic. this was not the word i meant really. the word i meant was closer to sadistic. can you please amend. thanks

Bill, almost a dad said...

I know it's difficult, but 'hang in there' is the advice that I would reiterate. They're not always the women you're used to, but it's foreign to them as well. Hitting, insulting, questioning your relationship, insulting, etc., etc. etc. can all be par for the course. It's worse with some women with others. Some aren't bad at all. Some are the devil incarnate. For the most part, they either don't truly mean it, can't control it or aren't even aware they're doing it.

Just keep in mind that it's temporary and that at the end you'll have an amazing little child.

Anonymous said...

I understand what everyone's going through in here. My gf is 9 weeks along and I find myself counting the days already. I feel like I'd rather be working than being home with her. I do everything from catering her needs to rubbing her feet, and it still isnt enough.

Anonymous said...

I can understand yelling at you for not having the laundry done, or not having the toilet seat down, but my pregnant girlfriend goes straight into attacking me as a person calling me and idiot, stupid, other expletives as well, and get violent.

dadat24 said...

So its coming down to it. A little over a month till our first child is here. My girlfriend had her baby shower this weekend. More worthless crap we done need. The only things I saw that we actually needed was a diper genie a case of diapers and a case of wipes. Probly the diaper bag too. Heather (my girlfriend) has for the most part calmed down on her hormones. Not all the way but thats to be expected. She still has an attitude. I just got laid off from work again. the second time thats happened during this pregnancy. And with only a month left I have no clue how I am going to provide for my family if I am always out of work. I pay all the bills but just barely. I keep thinking that she will probably end up dumping me and going back to her ex who is a state patrol officer with all the job security in the world and leave me paying child support and never getting to see my son. I noticed on her "just mommies" blog board or what ever it is that she was talking about me and the fact that I dont know how to "decorate". I admit...I am a man and do not care about decorating. I feel like im trapped in hell with no hope.

Anonymous said...

Dadat24, coming on this board shows that you want to find the tools to make this work with her.

Like Bill says, "Hang in there", and the only thing I would add is try to continually support her and show that you are interested and involved in the pregnancy. While she might get caught up in the details surrounding the pregnancy such as decorating the nursery, maybe you could say that you would be happy to do the work involved and take your decorating tips from her. If you show interest in making the nursery a home for your family and baby, I don't see how she could want to leave you for her ex. The very fact she wants to make her nursery comfortable suggests just that she wants to stay!

And be patient with the job hunt -- the most important thing is to not take your frustration and anxiety out on her and to have the appearance of being confident and reassuring to her. She needs the support more now than ever, and it's your job to give it to her, with or without a job.

How could she leave a man that give her all of himself?

Anonymous said...

Thank God I am not the only one going through this. My sweetheart turned into a jealous, possessive angry woman. She hates herself and says will hate herself for the rest of her life. The yes dears(I try so hard to say) are getting old. We are a month today and I am the biggest pile of crap in her eyes. What God would let this happen? I never want to have another child again

Col said...

Guys,

You see my comment a few months back, well things didnt improve immediatly. We got married (she was late, we had people travelling from england and poland to berlin where we are, it was a nightmare, the hotel was rubbish for the night and so on. But the next day everything was different i think the marriage coincided with the last 4 weeks of pregnancy and I can honestly say we have never had a better relationship.

Then our little one came, it was a 22 hour birth i was there the whole time and i couldnt even say anything, even when i tried to say your doing well honey I just got swore at (so did everyone else)

When the little one arrived we were so happy and a real little family, now three weeks later I can see that my wife is finding it hard and im trying to do everything right but its to be expected. If its your first child then you are about to get your eyes opened.

Yes my wife controls everything, yes she takes him away from me and thinks she can do everything better but so what, every woman feels like this when they have a new child.

All I know is i love them both, and any arguement can be overcome. the 9th months of pregnancy you have to just deal with. There is nothing you can say, not even "yes dear" cause its patronising. When you see your son in front of you things will be different.

Even now, we argues at the weekend but its all forgotten. We only have each other to argue at so its to be expected. Just dont do anything rash and you'll be fine. I believe that pregnancy is also the mans test to see if you can be a father, and its one hell of a test for both of you.

Phaticus said...

To Dadat24,

Dude I feel your pain, your story sounds pretty much like mine (except for the ex). I've been doing EVERYTHING in my power to keep my girlfriend happy to no avail.
When I mean EVERYTHING, I mean exactly that... As soon as we found out that we were gonna be parents she literally gave up on doing any household chores. I fully understand that she is going through changes, and I know for a fact that I've read more articles / books / web pages about pregnancy / parenthood / what to expect.
I'm pretty sure she feels like I'm lecturing her on the important details, but she fails to see that I'm just trying to show her that I give a sh*t and that I Love her to death. Dadat24 your girlfriend sounds like mine... This is the first place that she's lived other than her Mom's place and I feel like she just expects me to do everything by myself.
I fully understand that in the 3rd trimester I will have to literally do everything because she will pretty much be immobile. She is short and reaching everything in the cupboards above the counter top will pretty much be impossible, HOWEVER; that is the 3rd trimester... She is just starting her 11th week and she has done the dishes once... and that's it.
To top things off, I get thanked by getting malice and hatred in return... or my personal favorite, I get COMPLETELY ignored. Nothing says "You're not important enough for a response" quite like it. Its very mentally and emotionally draining... I have a lot of patience but this ungratefulness / selfishness is driving me to the edge.
I'm also getting laid off of work and I'm stressing out. I'm lucky that she has a good paying job and we should still be able to scrape by, but that's just another kick to the junk >_<
I just pray to God that things change once the baby is born. I know that everyone says it will, but I have a really really REALLY bad feeling that things will stay the same, except on top of doing every household chore, I'll be taking care of the baby too.

I wish that she would grow up and take responsibility for what WE got ourselves into. I have... would be nice to know that she would do the same.

Anonymous said...

thank f!@k I've found this page

Phaticus said...

Ya dude, this site is pretty awesome for the "Fathers-to-be" its very informative and Bill is quite helpful with advice.
Just keep on reading and chances are you will find what you need to know.
It is definitely a struggle, one that all people say is worth it in the end (when your baby is born).
However... its definitely a trip getting there.
Don't worry too much tho, its not all bad getting there... just most of the time =P

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad I've found this page, everything makes sense now. Its reassuring that everything I'm experiencing is apparently normal. I am suffering it big time lately though! My missus is 14 weeks now and its turning into a rollercoaster ride for me... everything I do annoy's the hell out of her, breathing, anything I say. I just get a barrage of verbal abuse for doing nothing untoward. I'm trying my best to be understanding and have just decided to stay out of her face as much as possible. Hopefully she'll come round in the end, its good to know that I'm not alone and reading everyone elses experiences has been very helpful!

Mickey69 said...

Think of it as a test. A subliminal test. A test that has been going on since man and woman came to be. Stay the course and keep your eye on the reason you are there. This is what seperates the men from the boys and where boys become men. This is just one of the many challenges you will face together although it seems like it's more challenging for you. Take the bad times and go spend time with friends and family that are supportive. Keep your head up and stay the course. I describe my wifes behavior as temporary insanity. She was crazy. Try not to let it drive you too far away. She needs you more now more than ever, even tough she is not consious enough to acknowlegde it. A test of all tests to see who will stay and who will go. So many wonderful rewards await those that make it through. A child is the most precious, helpless, incredible human being there is.

Anonymous said...

I have never responded to a blog until I read this one and felt compelled to share. My wife and I have a 7 month old beautiful little girl and now are expecting identical twin girls. The first pregnancy was brutal, but this one is a nightmare in which I can't wake up from. I swear this past week I could have sworn I saw my wife's head do a complete circle as she insulted me that would make Charles Manson fall to his knees and cry. It is without a doubt all worth it when the little miracle arrives. It is the most amazing love you will ever experience.

Anonymous said...

So what exactly is the appropriate thing to do when your wife is screaming bloody murder at you because the mail isn't stacked neatly? I'm finding "I'm sorry" doesn't work all that well and she launches into reasons why the mail means we should be divorced, we should sell the house, I'm evil and so on. I'm finding my pregnant wife has a remarkable ability to hit my weak spots when she's mad at me. It seems odd to stand there rooted to the ground as she does this. Is it weakness or strength to stand and take it?Any coping mechanisms? Walking away = no. Interupting = no. Defending yourself = rather useless. Yelling back = oh my goodness no. Tips?

Bill, almost a dad said...

Mailstacker,

Improper mail arrangement is not grounds for divorce with any sane person. In situations like those it is best just to take it and let it pass. I think it's clear that she's just not herself right now and likely not open to an reasonable discourse.

The only thing that might work is trying to calmly confront her about her poor treatment of you, which might make her feel guilty. However, this is risky and you will likely face one of three possibilities A) blubbering mess wife who you then have to console, B) even angrier wife who will show no mercy C) quiet wife. Quiet wife is the most dangerous of all because you never know what is lurking beneath the surface.

Long story short, just take it.

As for coping mechanisms, I recommend exercise. Wait till she leaves, drop to the floor and just pound out a bunch of push ups. They're a healthy way of blowing off steam. Make sure you're getting enough rest and eating well. I'd also try and find friends you can talk to, even if not about pregnancy. Just people you can interact with on another level so you have normal human contact. Having other interactions to occupy you will help make it seem less overwhelming.

Hang in there and let me know how it goes.

Bill

Eric said...

Ok. My fiance and I have known each other for years. We were best friends in the Marine Corps and then more than that after. She wanted me to quit my job making 150k a year in Iraq to come home to her. So I did. She got pregnant. Now it's my fault that I quit my job and it's hard to find a new one. Then I got a new job, and it's my fault for not starting yet. She calls names, and doesn't liked being touched...so I dont touch her, then she gets mad when I dont touch her...she gets mad if I dont drive her to work, she gets mad if I do...and the list can go on and on. I really don't know what to do anymore....She wants me to leave now, because she doesn't want anything to do with me. I'm sorry honey, doesn't work, but the truth is, I have no where to go now. She said she will want to leave me if I dont go to counseling (sp) with her. SO, I go, and the counselor points out that she needs to send more attention my way...and pretty much it's not all about her....well she forgets that, and when I get moody because of the way she is acting, she throws the counceling in my face. Was the counceling just a way to hold something against me? I'm not sure anymore...but she says I have until the time she gets home to leave. Please help!!!!
-Confused in D.C.

Anonymous said...

thanks everyone for the advice. My girlfriend is 6 weeks along and I'm already thinking we'll be seperated before the birth. She is so crazy and insulting I don't know how much I will take. She is so moody she is happy to her friends and family but treats me like trash. I am really worried she'll never get back to normal. I've always wondered how men can leave their kids and family only see them every other weekend. Now I see why. It does not look good from here. Is it normal to see such crazy signs
This early?

Anonymous said...

in the middle of May, my fiancee` proposed to me. The girl to the guy. She was so in love with me that she wanted to be my wife for ever. We had both had failed relationships, and knew that we wanted to be married and raise a family. I have no children, she has 3 of her own. We decided to set a quick date. June 27th 2009. So, come to find out around the first Monday in June, she tells me we are pregnant, and so we figured it had to happen on the day she proposed to me. She was nervous, but still so happy. I came home from work, she took me into the bedroom and, grabbed my hand, laid on the bed and pulled my head close, kissed me deeply, looked into my eyes, "I love you so much, we are having a baby. You are going to be a daddy". Everything was perfect. Before that point we had only been actually together for a couple of months, but have known eachother really well for quit some time before that. We both were deeply in love with each other. Now, Today, June 25th, 2 days before our wedding, she can't stand anything about me. She is 6 weeks in. Prior to getting pregnant, she told me we would have to be careful, because she is worried that if she gets pregnant, she may resent me as she did her ex, to the point where she left him. Now she is right there. Hates the way I walk, breath, eat popsicles. EVERYTHING. Doesn't like my personality. We are getting married in two days, and all she wants to do is run away. She is going thru with the marriage because she needs the insurance from my job. So she says. Then, Saturday night last week, she tells me calmly how sorry she is for how she has been. How much she loves me and more than anything wants to marry me and spend the rest of our lives together. Next morning, she hates me more than a child hates the dentist. I love this woman more than I ever thought possible. I am scared she will never be back to the same. This can't be normal, is it? How can I not take it personally. She told me this may happen, but now it is like she doesn't even know that it is something she knew would happen and warned me about. She said the other night it would go away when she was back to being in love with me. But now she doesn't realize it is just the hormones, but more that I am everything she despises in life. Will she return? Is this just the hormones, or will we live a loveless marriage? Has anyone gone thru this and come out closer than before, or at least like it once was? Holy Crap help.

Anonymous said...

Go have a beer with some buddies when she lays into you. It worked for Archie Bunker. Hell, it's probably how neighborhood bars got their start. Go spend time with friends and family if your at your wits end. Her moods are going to change constantly. I know, it sucks but it's just what women do. Go have a beer. Take a taxi if you have a few. Stay safe and talk with friends and family. My wife is 7 weeks pregnant and it's our second.

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness- I'm normal!!! Im 14weeks with #2 and my husband and everyone at work is a idiot- no not really but I have no patience or sympathy when pregnant. My husband does get one benefit (I guess) my sex drive goes through the roof and that he doesnt manage to screw up!

As a pregnant woman I can tell you we feel underappreciated, overworked, fat, unattractive, and all in all miserable. Our breast hurt, our backs hurt, our feet and legs swell and it is all worth it in the end- we just seem to loose track of that.

P.S. If you are a first time dad- you will normally get your loving caring wife back just dont except it overnight- takes up to 6 months for some women to calm down. To hubbies everywhere- thank you for sticking in there you are appreciated.

Anonymous said...

OMG! Thank you SO much for this blog!
I am 13 weeks pregnant and I can't stand the sight of my boyfriend. The way he eats, looks, his aura. it is the craziest thing I have ever experienced. One day, I felt happy and okay with him, the next, he's on my blacklist for the worlds worst human being. what is happening to me. I don't know. Can't rationalize it but I have come to accept it's my hormones and we're talked about it. doing better but now I just don't react or act out whatever thoughts I have whether it's kicking him out of the house or telling him i want him to make over his entire being. he's so sweet. he puts up with me. god bless him. yes, i feel tired, out of breath, anxious one moment, angry the next, happy for 2 seconds and we have a 15 month old already to take care of so YES, this really put the "Adult" part in the relationship for people to actually start working on. To see passed the hormones and crazy thoughts and realize that they're only hormones. what an endeavor. thank you for this!

Anonymous said...

my girl is almost three months and she is withdrwan from me...before we were all lovely dovie...been together for a year...hardley fought...a good relationship...no one ever told me this is how women act when they become pregnant...worse my mom says she was stable with me and my brother when she was pregnant...i have atleat 6 months left...this stuff is hard...wish someone would have told me something about how pregnant women can act...its like haveing a bi polar girlfriend

Anonymous said...

Hi all, I'm working overseas at moment and my partner has returned to UK with twins due in January 2010. I'm so happy we are having twins, was almost crying when we got 1st scan done.

I am understandably gutted we are apart at moment (pregnant singles not acceptable in middle east - get put in jail).

I'm doing the job to pay bills/loans and so my family have a good life in future with financial stability.

My Partner is now no longer taking my calls or replying to my SMS messages all she does is sms message me now & again to say she wants nothing to do with me anymore, saying we are over.

I am so happy to be going to be a Father and understand she has got hormones going crazy but I'm really struggling with stress and worry about my relationship with my partner and my kids.

I love my partner to bits and want noone else. I just want a happy family. Any thoughts/advice on above and best things to do would be really appreciated?

Anonymous said...

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He means the world to me and honestly through it all he is the greatest person in my life. However, I think his fear of becoming a first time father has clouded his whole train of thought. A month after I found out I was pregnant, he bought a dog, now no I am not the poster child for animal planet or anything but I do like animals. The main issue I am having is that he wants the dog but won't take care of her. We live in a one bedroom apartment and neither of us are home. We both work full-time and the dog has to remain indoors. Grossly, he won't even house train her properly so there is constantly dog poo everywhere that he will leave sitting for days. In the 5 months of having the dog he hasn't taken her to the vet or given her any worm medicine. He only walks her when he feels like it but complains when I don't. I am sorry but she weighs 40 pounds and I am 7 months pregnant I see too much risk walking her. Also, he bought a car and a new laptop I see it as him trying to create more responsibilities for himself instead of dealing with the one at hand. He hasn't bought anything for the baby except for one time.

At times he lashes out at me calling me an a**hole and has even told me since I got pregnant I have become unbearable and just a horrible person period. He has even told me to get out on several occasions. He spends a great deal of time with his friends and sometimes the first thing he says when he walks in the door from work is how he is going out. He has one of his single friends staying with us and honestly the friend is putting a strain on our relationship.

His friend doesn't help with groceries, household items or anything. He doesn't clean up after himself and causes more expenses than helps keep them down.

I just don't get it, he never use to be this way, I know my hormones and the stress I have been under during this pregnancy has made me kind of difficult to get along with at times but he isn't making it any easier. I consciously try to make efforts to show him how great I think he is and how much I appreciate him only to get shrugged off. I have literally begged him to go to doctor's appointments but he has only been to 2.

He was never like this before I got pregnant. Up until this pregnancy he was so wonderful and when he wants to be he still is. Its just I don't know what to do he does things like stay out all night or ignore me then acts like I am in the wrong or accuses me of stuff and when I tell him he is wrong he argues and tries to accuse me of lying or doing stuff purposely.

If this was something that had been going on since the beginning I would know what to do but because he comes out of nowhere with most of it I am at a loss.


What do I do?

Anonymous said...

I am 24 weeks pregnant and I have always been a strong woman, but hormones tend to take over ay rational thought in my mind. I get so angry at my boyfriend I want to rip his head off. I really don't know why. It could be that I am on bed rest and he assume that because I am Latina pregnancy should come easy to me. I hat loosing my independence and I feel like an alien has taken my body hostage. It is making me look like a house and doesn't let me sleep, walk and sometimes even breath. The worst days are when my BF drinks because I think is so selfish of him to do that, but I know deep down he needs a break. I just can't comprehend it. Once I get going, I start throwing things and calling him names. I can see myself acting psychotic, but it is like an out of body experience. I am not in control of myself. I know all the reasons why we are going through this up and downs, but it is so overwhelming. I feel that this should be a time for us to bond and prepare ourselves for parenthood, but it seems like the pregnancy is pulling us apart.

Bournemouth Builder said...

My wife is seriously freaking me out. I'm sure I'll get used to the fluctuations - one moment professing her undying admiration of my qualities as a man, a person and a child of nature...the next...well, you all know the flipside I suppose?

I need to extend my 'count to ten' technique to about 35 or 40 maybe...

Testing ! ;-)

Good luck all you lucky men. And remember - we are lucky. We've already had one miscarriage which was awful. So to be in the situation where you have the golden opportunity of being yelled at is truly a priviledge.

I think!

Bournemouth Builder said...

Sorry - forgot to subscribe to thread so I've added this with the 'Email Follow Up Comments' box checked

- just disregard this one,
;-)

Anonymous said...

reading this makes me feel alot better and alot worse! haha right now i am crazy with hormones and the tinest thing upsets me to make matters worse because of visa problems my boyfriend is on the other side of the world. Even though its not his fault and i love you more that anything im so angry that hes not here to deal with my crazyness and i have to do it alone!

Anonymous said...

omg this is so crazy becuase as i was reading this i got smacked 2 times for no reason and yelled at too ... im so mad right now all i want to do is blow up like i wanna go crazy ... im a great guy i work hard every day and come home to her and this is how she acts every day ... and this is only her 6th week ... wat am i gunna do i hate being hit and yelled at for no reason wat should i do ...

123 Web Design Bournemouth said...

Hey Anon -

Just hang in there mate - my wife was a lunatic the first 3 months - I felt like she could blow at any minute. She screamed at me so loud in the kitchen one morning that she gave herself a nose-bleed.(think I'd forgotten to take out the rubbish, or something else equally important!)

I just had to go and sit in the car and ask a close friend of my wife's to call her. The sofa and going for walks at odd times were my friends in the first 3 months!

And then the switch flicked - within a day or so around the 3 month mark, in her eyes I suddenly became some sort of angel that could do no wrong, and it's stayed that way since.

I think on top of the hormones going crazy, and their body changing, there's probably a lot of fear there to start with, worrying about the future, but then after 3 months for me it's been heaven!

We're having really good fun now together, feeling the baby kick together and it's a wonderful experience.

I never, ever, ever want those 3 months again - I'm seriously considering moving out for the first 3 months of the next pregnancy, I thought I'd end up dead at some points ;-)

Every pregnant woman can be different though - just hang in there mate, deep breaths, walks, cycling, whatever you can do to get out for 20 minutes till it's calmed down ;-)

Anonymous said...

Thank goodness I found this site! I was seriously ready to leave my pregnant girlfriend. Before she got pregnant she was perfect, I felt so lucky to be with someone like her. We were both happy when we find out she was pregnant and I was thinking this was going to be great (naive I know). Then about a month into the pregnancy the morning sickness hit and it hit bad. From that moment on there was no one she hated more than me. I do everything I can, clean up around the house, taking her out to eat, (I got her a pregnancy massage for Valentines day) yet it only calms her down for a few hours.

And the worse part of all, NO INTIMACY!!. And I mean nothing, no kissing, no touching, no cuddling and definitely NO SEX! She is half way through the pregnancy and we have not had sex in two months. Combined that with the fact she is now an evil thoughtless b*$#! I am trying my best not to snap. I am so miserable I feel like such a punk taking her crap everyday but I will swallow my pride for the babies sake. That doesnt mean I will EVER forget this. If I had known it would be like this we would never have kids. Truth be told I dont even really like her anymore but I love her if that makes sense. It will be a cold day in you no where before we have another kid together.

Anonymous said...

The wrath of hormone loaded lady is very hard to take if you lack the understanding. this does not mean it is any easier for the knowledgable fathers to be.
I am a father of one with the second on the way.This time round I have a totally different lady to handle. She yells at me at any slightest opportunity. she stress at work, finacial pressures, delay in the subway, and am always being taken for the infamous quilt trip; like am not considerate, I dont care about her, her family, etc.

The worst that makes me wanna hit the roof, she keeps comparing me with some friends of her's. I have tried to hold the madness in me coz I would sure tell her to go have a baby with one ofthem and see if it would change tables;
all the best be strong AMIGOS!!!

Anonymous said...

oh wow i was dying laughing reading these. i am glad to know that im not really "crazy" or "psycho" as the boyfriend calls me.. nope just pregnant. i knew there was something just not right. i loved this man of everything about him not too long ago.. just been trying to figure out what her happened between now and then because now i cant stand him. the very sight of him makes me want to cry with frustration. the way he laughs annoyes me the way he talks. everything that comes out of his mouth just seems ignorant. at this point im like do i really see myself marrying this man and being with him forever? FOREVER.. the thought makes me wanna hurl. im so disgusted by the little things that never seemed to bother me before like his morning breath or the way he chews his fond and the way he puts his clothes in the dryer before he wears them because he is too lazy to iron. and the list goes on. just glad to know this feeling will go away soon and maybe i wont have to be a single mom after all.

Anonymous said...

this is such a great read. I can't tell you how many times I have thought of packing up and leaving. It gets to the point that it isn't even worth staying. We were so in love before she got pregnant. She is on her 19th week and I have dealt with a crazy person every single week. I am now sleeping on the couch. I don't want to be around her anymore because I can see the resentment in her eyes. I think if she were to tell me to leave I would and not look back. After reading all of these replys, I have decided that I will stay and see what happens but I WILL NEVER forget this. I will NOT have another one as it is a LIFE of hell.

123 Web Design Bournemouth said...

Stick with it guys - it's amazing how the aggravation and aggression fades (in my wife's case after 3 months). Then you get to enjoy some of it, seeing the baby moving around (we're now around month 8).

My wife can now talk in a fairly relaxed manner about how she felt at the time, and explained to me that she was okay all day at work, but as soon as she saw me, she just hated me, and she 'knew' she should stop shouting and screaming at me, but just couldn't control it.

I know if it was the other way around, her girlfriends would tell her to get the hell out of an abusive relationship - but I definitely think it helps that men can talk about this stuff these days - I didn't realise I wasn't the only one until I got online and googled it.

And the fact that I was reading comments that said 'it's temporary....', and 'it will pass....' kind of made it a little easier to deal with!

Good luck ;-)

Anonymous said...

Thank God I found this site!

No matter how repetitive it may seem, I encourage everybody to post on here.

I went into our pregnancy neither particularly gentle or patient - but man I am learning and I know I'll need it to raise my boy. This time is truly a proving ground. Keep focused; this WILL separate the men from the boys.

And remember there is a woman you love in there...

Anonymous said...

I am so glad I read this blog. My wife and I are at 7 months with our second child. This morning she told me she loves me but is not sure if she likes me anymore. I just feel the resentment everytime I call her from work. Cold shoulder. Watch here interact with my kid or her family-there's the woman I've been madly in love with for 13 years! She resents the fact I don't leave for work earlier, she resents the fact i don't stay at home later to get the kid dressed, she resents the fact I go to work, she resents me for not working enough. This past weekend, I cleaned (scrubbed) all three bathrooms, mowed the lawn, painted one room to make room for the new nursery, moved furniture around, then that night she went to bed crying because I cleaned all the contact cases and didn't put a fresh one out for her. ARRRGGG! Like many of the other posters noted, the intimacy is gone now too. She doesn't even want to be touched. I hope this is temporary, because I don't want to be a part-time dad, but I can't live a full-time marriage like this.

Tony said...

I'm so glad I found this page. We're at 15 weeks and my wife is going berserk! Yesterday she got mad at me for owning a red scarf(!). In the middle of yelling at me she tells me she made juice for me and to tell her if I like it, and then goes back to yelling at me.

When she argues and lashse out at me I just play rope-a-dope and don't respond. By bedtime she's gotten the venom out of her system and we're okay in the morning. But I never know what to expect when I get home now.

Anonymous said...

I laughed so hard reading all of these replies. I'm going through it all. From the way she always talks to me, I would almost swear this 3 month pregnant woman is going to kill me in my sleep. This blog was like somebody giving me a flash light until I reached the light at the end of the tunnel.

Anonymous said...

After reading these posts all i can say is a big "Thank you" to all. Im currently trying to deal with my girlfreind in her 15th week! Things really have been going south and im now thinking i cant wait for it to be over. Im so glad im not the only one who's having a rough time i do really feel for you all! Dont get me wrong I love her so much and she really doesnt understand how happy i am to start a family with her. Unfortunatly I've now got to the point im starting to stuggled! After reading everyones comments i now have a little hope back in me to see it through to the end

Anonymous said...

Good to hear I'm not alone!!! This is the first pregnancy I've gone through with my wife of 5 years. We've been together for the past 10 years and have rarely ever fought. Usually just over small stuff. 4 months into the pregnancy and all of a sudden, things I've done for 10 years, are now completely unacceptable to her. Just 2 weeks ago she was ranting and raving to her friends about how good I've been with taking over chores in the house, making her snacks to take to work, etc. Apparently that is no longer worth anything. Unfortunately it's not looking good for us anymore. She's at her moms house tonight and I'm not even sure I want her to come back after the last argument. Hormones or not, throwing ultimatums around to change things I've done all my life is unacceptable. Hopefully she sees how crazy she's being and comes around. Fingers crossed but I'm not holding my breath. The crazy thing is that all she's wanted for the past 2 years is to get pregnant and when she finally is pregnant she goes completely looney.

Monika said...

this is all so bad...
I cannot understand that some men are just blind to what they do, and the 'pregnancy hormons' are only to blame... as if they (men) were perfect...
I'm sorry, don't get me wrong, I'm not pointing to anybody particular here, neither any post.
I'm 37 weeks pregnant, my b/f really showed me his true face. He only says he loves me and blames me for 'taking his daughter aywa'. We split at the beginning of July, since than time I only hear complaints, I myself am fed up with arguing with him, I just don't want to talk with him.
We were living abroad, I moved back to my country when I was one month pregnant. Since then I was doing everything for us - rent a flat, bought all the needed stuff (it wasn't completely furnished), I recommended him to my company (I was working until one month ago). We argued once and he left. I asked him to do so, but my last word was asking him to stay, as least not leave the job. He did not save any money when living abroad without me, he was spending for himself, for not really needed coursed and trainings, while we were'are farcing growin family. He came here, before had his first salary I was financially supporting our life.
Now all he does is blaming me for making him losing the job...
My point is - I am not up to money, I said all the things now, because I wanted you to know what I as a woman was doing for this relationship... And I think he is not mature at all...
I wish I would once felt like pregant woman. I wish he was interested in how I feel, how went the tests, I would like to receive a message with the question: how are you?
Once I missed my appointment, because he visited me. The next day he did not bother, he did not ask me if I finally went there or not (my previous tests were not good), he was just having all day fun with his friends, 'because he deserves rest' - excuse me, he was not working!
I'm reading this article and your comments and I cannot believe sme women can yell at man because of her bra... Or all the silly reasons - sorry, they are silly for me. Well, maybe my reasons are silly for you, too ;).
All I wanted was a bit of care and attention, but I was the one that was demand to provide him with 'support'. God, my baby will be born soon, I think it's enough for me to have one child, as with this man I would have two, and I'm sure he will be 100 times more demanding than my baby.
I want to have a caring man, I want to feel at least once that somebody cares how I feel. I think it makes you feel like a worthless piece of rubbish when you have to beg for attention, which you SHOULD get. At least I felt like that. But not anymore, I promised this to myself.
I would love to have another baby, but for sure with another man.

P.S.
I do apologize for my english :)

Anonymous said...

This site has brought comfort but im still freaking out, we are engaged and in the middle of our wedding plans we got pregnant now she doesnt even know if she wants to be with me and keeps bringing up things from the past that used to bother her about me, she sais that she is unsure of us that she is planning of how she is going to be as a single mom and tells me so many negative things about me that im about to hit the road ...she is so mean and heartless, we planned to move together and now she dont even want to do that!!! ohh and no sex at all and she cant stand my cologne. I feel like i dont even know who im talking to anymore. i get very defensive and we have some pretty heated arguements but after reading these post i need to be more undestanding she struggles to even say i love you!!!!! wtf this is torture lol ..Hormones are the devilllll

Anonymous said...

On our Euro trip that we're still on, I proposed to her, which was followed 3 days latter by that little second line on the piss test. She's sad, mad, overwelmed, can't sleep, and of corse, thinks that I'm a disapointing mess! 3 weeks in now, and I'm trying to just keep my mouth shut, untill that back fires on me, then I try small comments n try to let her run out of steam. The best one she pitched that I remember so far is that I'm a fat, lazy, whinny little b*tch, and that I'll be a terrible dad!! It's hard to take comments like this and then 5 minutes later have her wanting to be sweet, cuz then if I'm not sweet when she's sweet it comes back full blown!! She has full immunity on every thing!!

Bottom line, no arguing!! And I mean non!! Arguing has got me yelled at, screamed at(both in public), hit, shaken, doused in water, and I think if I list any more or keep going I'll probably get in more trouble considering she showed me this blog!! Glad I'm not alone, 3 cheers dad's, we can do this!!

Charles said...

My wife and I are not even through our first year of marriage, and my wife became pregnant 9 weeks ago. Just when she got pregnant, we had just come through the "getting used to each other" phase, when the honeymoon phase wears off and you begin adjusting to what life with the real person is like, and we had big some fights, trying to get used to living with a man, and a woman. I moved into my wife's house, so it was on me to adapt to her routines and make it work. Just as things started leveling off, we got prenant (excited and wanted though), and now that my wife is 10 weeks in, she's been really hormonal, especially mean and nasty, and I can relate to what everyone on here has said about being ignored and told you're not adequate enough. I'm trying to adjust to doing her share of the chores that she cannot do, and I've been failing at it. I really feel below myself, as she continually says "you're a child, not my partner" because she feels like she's having to clean up after me and take care of the whole house when I fail at something. On top of working all day, I come home and now try to think in ways I never had to to try and please her. It's becoming increasingly difficult for me to focus because I'm worried about what she will say or do - if she will even make it through this pregnancy without divorcing me. I really feel shitty all the time, and her dissaproval of me is starting to affect my ability to focus at work, do chores without forgetting something...instead of focusing on trying to be a dad, be hopeful and be excited, I'm more worried about failing as a husband in this really critical stage. Help.

123webdesignbournemouth said...

Hey Charles (& the rest of you fellow tormented souls!)

Hang on in there man, mine was a bloody nightmare for the first 3 months. As bad as it's ever been. Then, a switch flipped, and my wife, within about a 24 hour period, went back to loving me like she used to.

And if you can bear it out, she'll appreciate you even more for putting up with it.

It really is probably just the hormones messing with her.

Go for long walks, go and sit in the car, see a friend, whatever you need to get some space.

I once went and sat in the car when she screamed so loud and so hard at me in the kitchen that she gave herself a nose-bleed.

Didn't know what to do, so shuffled down to the car in shock and called her closest (closest, elder, motherly) female friend to ask what to do, or if she could help.

That was one of the worst points, but I'm glad I spoke to her close 'motherly-figure' friend. I was close to breaking down, and I think the next day they both went for a bite to eat and had a chat.

Talking about it defo helped for me, and I think for my wife too. Not together though, she'd have been far too aggressive towards me, so I thought it best to speak to one of her friends (or her mum would be ideal if you get on well)

Chin up, keep going, it's not going to last forever.

andyk said...

my girlfriend moved in 10 months ago. Its been tough for her making the transition to a new town. She managed to get a job she loves but things between us were very strained for the first couple of months. once things had improved she mentioned coming off the pill. I did think it was a bit early into living together but I do really want a kid with her so just went with it. Unfortunately she got pregnant instantly and since then has gone more and more withdrawn. She is angry and depressed, constantly physically sick and is now having a physical reaction to everything, smells, sounds, noises. In the 3 months she's been pregnant, she's told me she's moving out on several occasions (including 2 days after finding out she was pregnant) and has generally treated me like she hates me. She tells me to leave her alone frequently which I do, but then seems to resent me even more as she's emotionally isolated. Now she is debating whether to have an abortion. Its a scary, roller coaster of a time. I guess there is no right thing or wrong thing to do. I dont know how much to encourage her to keep it - I mean I really do think she wanted it but now its completely the opposite. She says she'll never bond with it. Now she is saying things like 'If I get rid of it, we'll finish but if I keep it, I'll be like this for the next 2 years so we're gonna finish anyway'
god its confusing. I just want her to be ok, more than I want the baby. I think it needs to be her decision because she'll end up hating me for good if I encourage her one way or the other and then she thinks it was the wrong decision. and to think I naively thought pregnancy drew people closer. Anyway thanks to all who have written on this site as it does give some clarity

Anonymous said...

Everything I do my wife hates. I lost my job and I spend my days looking for a new one. Everyday I get to here how I don't have a "Day" and she is trying to do what she can for the family and is mad at me for getting laid off. Even With everything I do which includes all house work except for dinner I am still worthless. She wont talk to me at all and never admits to knowing wht she has said or done. Please someone help me to understand why she hates me

ak said...

its a couple of weeks on from my last post and sadly its not getting any easier. Now she is at the 'I want to be single because I dont fancy you anymore' point. Its very hard to keep your own ego out of it when someone tells you that...of course the natural reaction is hurt and anger, followed by withdrawal - but this just increases her anxiety, confusion and guilt and makes her pull further away. She regularly says she needs to move out to be by herself. She is having serious second thoughts about even keeping the pregnancy.
Its extremely stressful. But each time we peer into the abyss we somehow seem to pull back from the edge. This morning she laughed for the first time in ages and it was wonderful. I think best try to stay focussed on why you fell in love in the first place, bide your time, try not to panic or make kneejerk reactions, empathis that no matter how mentally hard for the man, its far harder for her with the physical layer on top (mine is sick 24-7) - and remember to tell her frequently what she means to you and try to provide reassurance. Its bloody hard tho, the hardest thing I've ever dealt with...

Anonymous said...

I'm not alone then?! Phew.

So this is the circle of life... said...

The swings are amazingly hurtful...she is using every possible thing against me and benefit of the doubt is out the window...my dad died a year ago and i am still cleaning up...so i am strained emotionally she think I am overusing the dad dad issue...and she calls me immature bc i was unemployed after his death and that anything i got is not my money....my heart is on fire and burning...i called her last night bc after the heartbeat i had not heard her voice for 5 days...then i lais into her calling her selfish for keeping me out of the loop...i just kept going for 2 hours...then i got the most horrible email saying she never really wanted me in the long run and we would never grow old together...

Anonymous said...

Hi all,

Firstly I want to say I really appreciate reading about all you men who have grin and dealt with the crazy missus. I am 39 weeks pregnant and I left the father of my son ( we were together for nearly 3 years) when I was around 20 weeks after finding out he cheated, lied and had turned to excessive drinking and taking drugs. I can completely understand how hard some mums to be are to deal with. I have dealt with this pregnancy alone since day one and I can honestly tell all of you not all of us are crazy phsycos. I was loving and did everything for my ex but he did not find me to be enough...so for all you boyfriends and husbands who have stuck by their woman I truely admire you.

Anonymous said...

OMG> your post is amazing. My woman has been crazy ever since she got pregnant. I am glad to see I am not the only one going through this nonsense. Oh god please have the kids soon. LOL.

Anonymous said...

I get into trouble because I stopped listening, I stopped listening because I just don't like what she has to say. The incessant attacks were driving me up the wall so I switched off, that makes her worse but its still better than listening to that crap. Try walking away disinterested while she is having a spray, works a treat.

CNK10 said...

Phew! Hang in there guys AND gals! Pregnancy is tough, and somebody said, "it separates the men from the boys!" I, for one, believe that to be true. The hormones are crazy, I'm in trouble all the time, and the harder I try the harder she comes down.

I will admit that the filter between my brain and my mouth have always needed some fine tuning, but I understand how hard it is to shut-up when you are turned into the antichrist (MOSTLY undeservedly).I hope to learn my lesson soon, but I am thinking that installing a zipper on my lips would be less painful then arguing and trying to "figure out" what the hell is making her psycho. *DO NOT EVER USE THE TERMS PSYCHO, CRAZY, HORMONAL, OR B!^CH AS THEY WILL ALWAYS END UP LEAVING YOU IN A HOLE THAT IS VEEERRRRYYY DIFFICULT TO FILL*

Not smart of me, not loving of me (although I do love her with all my heart), and not the right way to handle pregnancy. I don't know if there is a right way... I hear that each pregnancy is different.

My wife has two beautiful daughters, and thanks to our marriage so do I. She is now about 11 weeks pregnant with our baby and my first child (genetically). It has been a whirlwind, and I have TRIED to be a saint. Unfortunately, (and I assume many others have had this issue) I have occasionally been mean, pissy, whiny, and confused.

Guys, it's hard to get yelled at for no reason. You help around the house, you try to take care of the kids, make dinner, do dishes, clean house, laundry, etc. I envy the guy who still does more at the house then his wife because that is amazing. I do try, and most guys do, but we have some mental lapse that makes us screw up during pregnancy. I like to think of it as a "trial by error" scenario. The only problem is that I have to screw up AT LEAST a few times before I get it. It's that darn, thick, cave man skull I acquired from my ancestors. Darwin's theory of evolution perpetually misses a major part of our ever evolving genetic code. It's called the "how to deal with hormones" gene.

Basically, what it comes down to, is to shut the hell up, listen to your wife or g/f, and if it makes sense then change it. If it doesn't, then welcome to the blog!

Love your wife and love your kids. Family first. Always.

K10

PS: I'll follow my own advice at some point in the near future or a frying pan will end my days. =)

Eric said...

I believe I initiated this thread a long time ago ....as for an update...it's all with it...i have a beautiful 18 month old boy and it's everything I ever wanted and needed in this life...hang in there guys

Eric said...

I take that back...i didn't initiate this...i added to it

Bill, almost a dad said...

Hi Eric,

Thanks for the update! It really is all worth it and hope you're enjoying fatherhood as much as I am.

Everyone else reading this, like he says, hang in there. It's the best thing there is.

- Bill

michael clough said...

Hello guys, I'm so glad I found this blog. I'm going through hell and my head feels like its going to explode. Before my girlfriend was pregnant we had a right laugh together and were madly in love with one another. All that has changed. She's ignores me, says she hates me, has told me to get out of the house on numerous occasions. Last week she made me Sunday dinner and I wasn't feeling well so I apologised that I could eat it and that was it.........she went MAD! She stormed out of the house leaving the cooker on, came back about an hour later and called me everything under the sun....she said I'm a pig, selfish, ungrateful and told me to get out of the house by the time she wakes up in the morning. She said if I stay with her and didn't leave by 8am she will be a complete bitch with me for the rest of our lives and that she will cheat on me etc...! She said we won't work and its best that we go our separate ways. Obviously I stayed and was greeted in the morning with a kiss, cuddle and a massive apology. Shes up one minute and down the next and its really taking it out of me, I feel drained. She says she feels so alone even when I'm sat next to her! I love her to pieces and ill NEVER leave her. I'm currently on my own because last night 'out of the blue' she said she needed some space. I then asked "how much?" And she said "a week" so I packed my bags and without question I'm leaving her to have space for a week. It's got to be done. I'm missing her like mad and I'm dying to ring her to hear her voice but I know I won't help matter so the balk is in her court and will be for the next 6 months ha ha!

Anonymous said...

Wow, i wish i found this page sooner!!! I feel like im with the devil. I laughed my a** off when i read the breathing part. We went to go watch a movie with her mom and bf ( she was maybe 6weeks). During the movie she looked at and said why are you breathing so loud? Haha well im so glad im not the only one and i feel much better?? I guess the only answer is, take it like a man. Its what seperates the boys from the men!

Anonymous said...

Hey :) pregnant wife here my hsband got out of the marines not too long ago, iam 3
Months and I have just started to be mad for no reason and unwittingly become this mans worst nightmare I've brought him to the point of tears broke up with him yell at him insult him and ignore him, and I mean none of it and feel bad for it later, I found this blog and let him read it and it helped him and he's become more understanding, thanks everyone and it passes, what helps is when he takes control of the situation and spoils me (makes me feel wanted, special, gifts, cooking or me etc.) Calmly telling me that I need to cool off and I am pregnant and that the baby doesn't need me to be stressed etc. It helps me and it reassures me by doesn't make it all go away and I still don't want him touching me :) just remember she will remember your reactions too

Anonymous said...

Oh and don't worry her sex drive will come back with a vengeance :)

Michele said...

I am 11 weeks pregnant. I have children from a pervious marriage and didn't want anymore. My new husband doesn't have any of his own so I decided to give him one. Anyhow, my life had been hell....Yes, I have my mood swings, but for me I could only wish to have a husband who was more patient with me. He screams back at me louder, belittles me, calls me nasty names, threatens to throw me out...I'm embarrassed to say this but he puts his hands on me. I try to explain to him I'm very hormonal he tells me to control myself. At 8 weeks he told me to get over my morning sickness. Then when I try to leave promises to change. Trust me, I'm not the easiest person to live with theses days, but I'm not nearly as bad as some of the things I'm reading. He still gets sex 3 times a day, I take care of myself....what gives? What can I do?

TheMcKithernReport said...

Your blog is amazing. Frankly, I am a war veteran yet this is the hardest most stressful task I have ever undergone. My wife is about 10 weeks pregnant and the fuse is non-existent. What makes matters worse is that she is a personal fitness trainer. If I tell her how beautiful she is (which she is) she yells at me for being a liar and tells me "I'm FAT!!!" If I were to even remotely attempt to gently tell her that "you kinda look a little more pregnant in the mid-section," that would be the end. Not just for me, but for all of you. Horns would grow from her head, she would reveal our child as the anti-christ, and the book of Revelation would come to fruition.

I am at such a loss. It's amazing to me how angry she gets. And it even lasts for days at a time sometimes. She has been angry since yesterday and still hasn't spoken to me except for the occasional snarl and insult. I cook, clean, grocery shop, fetch whatever she wants and still seem to be incapable of diffusing her emotional outrages.

Bill, almost a dad said...

@TheMcKithernReport - HAHAHAH, I'm glad that you can find some humor in it, I know that it can feel like the end times are near. Just keep doing what you're doing. There isn't much you can do, except continue to take the punishment when she doles it out and enjoy the quiet time when she's not speaking to you.

It sounds like you're helping her as much as you possibly can. Just remember she's not herself so don't take things to heart. Hang in there.

p.s. Thanks for your service to our country.

Bill, almost a dad said...

@Michele - Frankly it all sounds like an abusive relationship and it's not going to get any better. Treating you poorly, promising to change then going back to his old ways is an unhealthy pattern. As for yelling, everyone loses their temper once in a while, but it shouldn't be a regular occurrence and should be nasty.

And if you're saying he hit you, you should leave. Immediately. He'll do it again and he'll probably do it to the kids. You shouldn't be embarrassed about this, he's the chicken $h!t who hit a pregnant woman, not you.

Do what's best for your baby and leave or kick him out. You know what the right thing to do is, now do it.

Findingithard said...

What a fantastic, reassuring, well written blog. I feel a bit better but its still so hard. My girlfriend is 17 weeks and some days she just hates me for any reason she can find. For the past day and a half she hasnt spoken to me because of money. The other day it was because she thought I had the intention of cheating on her. We had a massive row a couple of weeks ago and i stupidly ended it and regretted it instantly. Worst decision of my life. Since then she has taken me back after lots of apologies and im so happy, but im back on the rollercoaster again. She can be so hurtful at times that its left me in tears. I know im not perfect, i make mistakes and say and do the wrong things but I love her so much. The pregnancy was unplanned and there were a few scares early on so its been very difficult. I want nothing more than to have a family with her but sometimes I feel so depressed that I feel as if i cant cope with all of this. Thanks for helping me keep the faith! This blog is very much needed in my life.

Anonymous said...

My GF and I are 15 weeks as of today. A month ago she said she hated me and we can go back to being friends. She moved back to New York, I'm in Washington. WTH. She wanted to get married a month ago. We it go back or is she gone forever. BTW we have never had a fight or I never cheated on her or been rude. Not perfect but just for the record..... if anyone has any resources please contact me at mikebowden2005@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

27TN here... My wife is 6 weeks pregnant and I can't tell if she's just very hormonal or I truly am the monster husband she claims that I am. She screams several nasty things, to the point where I can take it anymore and I yell back. Now I feel guilty and she says I am a disappointment. Help!! I'm trying so hard to do the right things and be supportive, but maybe I am the loser she says I am. I feel helpless!

Pharlap said...

SOS!!! seriously I just want to know if they return back to normal after the birth, the misso is 21 weeks now stoppped saying she loves me and criticises evertything i do...I just want to know if they do...any stories about how your firebreathing woman returned back to her angelic self will do wonders for my state of mind...cheers

Bill, almost a dad said...

@ Pharlap - Don't worry, any hormonal changes during pregnancy are usually temporary. (You'll both be tired after the baby is born.) Just don't give her any reason to hate you once the hormones subside!

Anonymous said...

I am haveing serious problems with my pregnant fiance, before she got pregnant we were perfect together. Everywhere went and everything we did we had fun, but now she wants nothing to do with me. I can't do anything right... and she has broken our engagement off twice now... I was barely able to pull it back together but she told me yesterday that she no longer wants to get married. I have been doing everything in my power to be loving and supportive, and I am there as much as possible but since I am military I can only be there on the weekends... Can Simone please help me. She is pushing me away and refuses to even speak to me durinthe week and when I try to talk to her she picks a fight. I try not to fight with her but she insists on it... if I use the yes dear line she insults my masculinity and does everything to degrade me. She also told me that the only reason she is with me is because of the baby... and after about five minutes of silence (that hurt more than I can explain) she said and because I love you. I am lost and don't know what to do. Please help.

Mickey69 said...

Dear Anonymous,

You need to read more of the past posts. You are not alone. Estrogen is the most powerful chemical in the world. What you are going through is not easy and very difficult. It will get better. Hang in there and try to comfort her even if she is the devil right now. I think of it as temporary insanity. Don't tell her that or she'll throw something at you. She's crazy we all know that. Most prego women are even if they denie it. They really shouldn't be allowed to behave this way but they do. If you or I acted like these women we would be incarcerated or committed. Your'e going to have to deal with it. Support her and state your intensions. That you love her and will never leave her. Take over some chores around the house. Plan something special for you two to do. Go shoppIng for baby stuff with her or look stuff up on line. Read books about where you two are in your pregnancy. How big is the baby. Read, read, read. When the baby comes you are going to be too tired to read then. Good luck and hang in there it does get better.

Howell said...

all this has helped me out a lot. she is 3 months and i am trying my best. i love her so much but she seems so crazy. but getting through this will make us stronger.

Anonymous said...

My partner is 5 months pregnant and has in that space of time went from being my best friend and life companion to a total psychopath with a real mean streak. She gets angry when i go to work, takes money from my bank account and makes me publicly beg for the smallest amounts of money. I dont know why she is behaving like this as i have saved up a nice little nest egg for baby. I cant sit in the same room as her now as she WILL get angry, no matter what the circumstance. I just dont understand why shes being like this.. we have been together for 10 years and I have never felt so out-of-love with her. Should we split? Should i put my foot down and tell her who's boss? aaaaggggrrhhh :(

Palesa said...

Wow, I never really knew how much stress and pressure we put u men under..... I really feel so bad rite now because I was jus about to send my boyfriend a very nasty text message- I had no idea th hormones r this bad!!! I'm 4mnths pregnant with my 2nd child, and I don't blame my guy for spending weekends away with his friends. Pregnant women can be hell sometimes, but we love u for being so strong.keep it up guys, and as for me- I'm keeping my eyes on my "crazy" hormones, not gonn control me any loner

alexheist7 said...

Thank you! This really helps put it in perspective. My gf is 9 weeks and she was all stressed last night at dinner that my mom isn't on board for the pregnancy.. Bcuz she isnt showing enough emotion/affection towards her.. So after dinner I thought I would help out and get the ball rolling. I said to my mom 'so, are u excited to be a grandma?!' :) before she really had a chance to answer my gf was sobbing and up and left.. Claiming I had betrayed her by asking about it.. Continuing on to say some pretty horrible things I won't repeat.. she left and went to get a hotel room for the night! A few hours later after a few more nasty texts, she asked if I'd like to come stay at the hotel with her... I think she was more embarrassed than anything else by that point.. So beware..even if u think what u say is harmless, it could blow up in ur face!
Again thank u for this! Now I don't feel so horrible as I know I'm not the only one! :)

snoboy said...

Well I am now homeless because my GF decides that I'm not good enough for her and her son, since she was about 6 weeks pregnant it has been so hard to be what she wants. I can do nothing right even if I do exactly what she wants, she has asked me to read the baby book but I failed to do so. she has been telling me that it's hormones and I argue the point and say no way. now I eat those words and wish that I would have listened to her since the day that her and I met I knew that she was the one for me and I never believed that I would say that, we never dreamed of fussing at each other and here I am today and she doesn't speak to me and we just found out its a girl so my advice is just listen to your baby mama and don't let this happen to you. I hope that time will pass and she will want me back at home until then good luck with the hormones wish I could've read this beforehand by the way were now 21 weeks in.

corydwg said...

My fiance is close to what everyone elses is except for a few differences. I am about to finish house arrest and have been trying everything I can to be everything she needs. She actually fell in love with me while I was already on house arrest and had my life back together. I moved in with her after we found out we were expecting, but after about a month she told me that it wasn't right and I needed to move back out. I know she loves me, but she is constantly ignoring me and refusing to answer my calls. It is a constant belief in her head that we are not going to be together when the child is born and she constantly tells me that when I try and tell her I love her and that I want to do everything to make her happy. It's hard but I'm starting to believe what she is saying. She is a little over 6 months and I have 2 weeks left on house arrest. Her family loves me and says that I am so much better than her ex-fiance (broke up with him 8 months before we got pregnant). I hope it's hormones and possibly her fear of commitment because of the baby. I'm going to stick it out and do everything I can, but any advice on how to handle a pregnant woman who loved you before the pregnancy and then feels you can't ever be together after the pregnancy would be appreciated. I'm just at a dead end with no direction

Anonymous said...

Why is almost everyone here with a pregnant GF or fiancee instead of a Wife??? I don't get it. Men up, men, and marry your pregnant women!
And you, pregnant women, don't you want your child to have a father and not be a bastard at birth? Marry the men who impregnated you, be on a pedestal instead of under it!
Just a thought.
Great blog, you're a funny & smart guy! Write a book, you definitely have talent!

Anonymous said...

Ok yeah. I am only 11 weeks old and it seems like ever since I got pregnant I can't even stand the sight of my boyfriend! I don't even like being near him or sleep next to him. I even thought of breaking up with him but then I keep going back and forth with that. I thought something was wrong with me. That is how I found this article cause of searching online if it is just me or the relationship? Well good to know I am not the only one that isn't going nuts. I really do try not to get all crazy on him. No matter what he does be nice or mean he drives me nuts right now!

Anonymous said...

I am in the early weeks of pregnancy. I must be honest here, before I got pregnant I had a few major reservations about my fiance and the way that he treated me.

We put in a lot of work to fix our relationship. But, it never fails... things always eventually come down to the same communication and emotional block against me that existed to begin with.

I am sick and emotional, and he cannot understand that. He has been cold and distant. When I have an issue or something that I wish to address, he screams at me, and belittles me to the point of tears. It is tearing me in half.

These selfish, thick-headed reactions of his have made me re-evaluate my life. If he treats me like this, even while I am with child... then what is he going to me do after the baby is born? I will not have my child be witness to such coldness. I will NEVER forget the way he has treated me.

I WISH I had the understanding and compassionate partner that so many of you are trying to be. I feel cheated out of a happy experience... and I want nothing to do with him. I have lost love and respect for him... and I feel that he is phony and insincere when I tell him that I am leaving. If he loved me, he would never treat me the way in which he does.

These are the thoughts that are running through my head. I need to be with my family, and people that I know actually love me. All of my body's energy is going to this baby, and I feel so rundown and unable to do all of the things I used to... I just do not have the time or the energy to deal with his abuse BS any longer.

If you are being this way to your pregnant partner, you need to check yourself. You are going to lose out on a woman who loves and needs you, and your child.

Wake up! Do NOT yell at her. Do NOT ignore her. Do NOT go out drinking with your buddies. Love her, and SHOW her that she means more than anything to you.

tp said...

I love my partner deeply, but her recent mood swings are making her almost impossible to live with. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, she irrupts with such vile things towards me.

I try to let everything go, to not shout back, but the things she says to me (over topics such as me not being able to guess what she wants for dinner) are so nasty, I can't believe this is the same person.

I accept mood swings are a part of pregnancy but how far should it go before it's a problem? Am I supposed to wait for her to punch me before I tell her I think she has an emotional problem?

Anonymous said...

You know, I don't want to sound like a jerk but I'm sick to death of being told "I want a divorce", "you're an A-hole", "I hate you" and having things thrown at me. Let me say right now, I would do it for her if I could, I really would! My life isn't the best currently either and I keep it to myself. I'm the only one working, and the job will go away in a month! We need money for the house and benefits for us all! I am gone 13 hours a day working, always reachable by phone. Then I get home and do housework, and I get things thrown at me and told how bad I am. I get bs at work all day but idiots and I come home for the same?! I understand you women have really hard times but cut us some slack! We're human too and just can't sit and take it! For you guys out there where she actually apologizes later on...you're lucky! I get ripped apart, threatened and called names all the time, which makes me feel miserable daily, and I NEVER get told sorry or anything like that! I have been through some VERY tough times in life...job loss due to merger, loss of friend due to death, at the same time...and I never ripped on her. Women, you must realize that we are there for you but we can only take so damn much!

Anonymous said...

This site has helped me cope. I have been with my gf about 2 months now. It was a fairy tale at first.she even moved back to ohio to be with me from TX. It was a matter of time till she started not feeling well and its been confirmed she is pregnant. Somewhere around 6 wks. We find out in 2 wks. Anyhow, I cant seem to do anything right no matter how friendly I try to be to her about things. I take care of her, love her, take her out, serve her juice/soda etc and she is evil. She claims she "just doesnt feel like being touched" AT ALL. I feel like a friend and not a bf anymore. I cant cuddle with her when she sleeps or anything. no touch of the hand, of course no sex, and she dont even call me baby/honey anymore. Its killing me inside and its so hard to hang tough! :-(

Anonymous said...

I hear you all. I am going through the exact same thing. We met, fell in love , madly in love, we were special... Then she got pregnant, we decided that since we loved eachother, we would go through with it, even though we didn´t know eachother that well. After e few weeks, the tiredness came, then th "i dont wanna be touched" period, then the period where i woke her up, then the no kissing period, all of a sudden I lost my key to her place, my clothes were in a bag. we are still seing eachother once a week, but are not together anymore. I miss her, I miss us, I cant do anything right. I am glad I found this site, i am not alone, thank god! I do however need to find out what happens after the birth and the following months . Does it get better? or do I start looking for an exorcist? John

I'm Over Overies said...

My wife has 3 weeks till baby. She has been a really awful ,super critical demon. Seems I cant do or say anything right. I do everything but she insists I do nothing. She is name calling and 'hating' on everything. I am a lover, but she is making me a fighter. She has pushed me to places I've never been - and not in a good way. She uses any info i ever gave her about me against me. Holding my whole past against me. She did this before pregnancy too. I feel as doomed as my own parents who only managed 20 years because of all the lies. I gotta break the cycle. I have been off work for 18 months from spinal surgery and I need to get out of the house. Nobody is hiring at the moment so we're stuck together till the economy shapes up. Come on Greece!!!!! Get it together.!!!! She thinks other women like Beyonce for eg are big fat ugly people. I haven't heard the word 'ugly' ever being used so much. I can't stand it! She seems jealous or just snobby. Not my type AT ALL !

craig said...

It really does make ya feel better to know that other people are going thru the same crazziness you are...... i hate drama so i swear she creates it to just get under my skin. i have anger issues, went to conselling as a kid to control it. well she is doing a bang up job of testing my limits... as the one guy said my counting to ten has gotten to atleast 60, but then you get yelled at for not caring. NO i just dont wanna fight every day!... well thanks for letting me vent this blog really has been helpful.

misterbaz said...

The only place online I've found that mirrors my situation. It's good to know I'm not alone but it's still hard to deal with. My story ...

We went abroad for one last go at IVF treatment and, glory be, it was successful. But since returning home our relationship has spiralled downwards into hell. Most conversations seem to start with the words ‘why haven’t you ...’ and then rapidly descend into arguments. And into these she drags everything I have ever said or done wrong over the past eight years, regardless of whether or not it might be relevant.

More worryingly, there is a progression into an irrational world where I’m apparently flirting with the grandmother next door because I say hello when I see her and have had occasion to speak to her regarding a possible house extension. Finally there is the nuclear button, when some of my oldest friends and assorted family members come in for a tirade of abuse. Instead of looking to the future and our first child, old grudges get endlessly raked over, nothing is ever satisfactorily resolved and separation is beginning to look a distinct possibility.

I get exasperated and angry when she repeats some of her wilder allegations and she then says I don’t respect her and she doesn’t want the child being brought up with a father who behaves like that. I know I have my own problems to deal with and, at her urging, have been seeing a counsellor. But after five or six sessions, she’s decided she hasn’t seen any change in me and it’s not working so I should give it up. I think it is working, if slowly: you can’t alter years of behaviour patterns in a few hours. I suggested you can’t change yourself until you know yourself and I was getting that much out of the sessions. My counsellor is a woman and now my wife is suspicious of what I’m getting up to with her.

It’s enough to make me want to cry. There are not and never have been any other women, I am trying to change my behaviour – to organise my time better, not to react so defensively – but it feels like the harder I try to do these things the worse our situation gets. She should be as stress-free as possible after several failed IVF cycles, but my mere presence often seems to be the cause of her stress. After yet another row, half of me wants to walk out, thinking it would be the simplest way of resolving the stress issue and keeping my sanity; the other half wants to stay and be a good and supportive father. Or, a desperate idea, maybe I could just make myself scarce for the next five months and return after the baby’s born …

Difficult as it is, I assume the hormones thing will pass, but some stuff has been said that can’t be unsaid and every row tears down another few bricks in the wall of the marriage: respect and trust are going missing, separate bedrooms are in danger of becoming the norm. A previous trip to Relate came to nothing, as she seemed to expect the counsellor there to hand out answers like antibiotics and quite possibly to attribute blame to one or other of us for the difficulties in our relationship. I don’t live in such a black and white world and I increasingly wonder whether we can ever really be compatible and a happy family.

Ben, almost a dad said...

what i don't get is how everything is up to the father-to-be... hormones are going to make women more irritable, and everyone knows that, yet there's never any advice given to women about the importance of taking a few deep breaths, keeping in mind their hormonal condition, or anything else that could make the whole thing easier for both. i'm not saying women are at fault and i know that's not the case, but it should be half and half - women should try a little harder to control themselves, and men should try a little harder to be especially patient.

Anonymous said...

I have had the same experience. My fiancé was shouting at me because she said I did not do the cleaning the way she liked it. She is a hormonal time bomb. Sometimes most of the time she is the best most nice girl on the planet then boooooomb she is telling me that I'm an arse for going to get groceries at supermarket.

Worried Father to be said...

This is helped me so much however, my story is alittle bit worse so I am hoping someone can offer some advice to me.
so here is my story me and my I guess now ex-fiance, (She is 20 I am 22), met at work she was looking to get out of a cheating relationship that was going no where. and we hit it off right away she moved in with me after our first date (I know really fast but it was love I promise) any way we have been dating for 4 months relativly short I know but we both felt we had found what we needed. We decided that we wanted to get married so we got engaged, then we decided that we wanted a baby so we started trying. We found out she was pregnat and everything was bliss both of us were so happy, she wanted to go tell my mom right away. However in week 7 out of no where while we were carving pumpkins she started to cry, now she had been very emotional the weeks before so I figured it was nothing. When I asked what was wrong she said she just needed to go to her mother's. Well she left and called later saying we needed to talk and she just went off on me about something she found on my computer which I had openly admitted to her that it was a joke my friend had tried to play on me before, this issue had already been settled before and she had dropped it but now brought it up again full force. So with that calmed down she begain saying she just needed time and space, well me bing the idiot I am this confused me and I called her (probably too much) everytime she said that she just needed time, I would ask her if she still loved me and she would respond with a yes she did and always would, but she felt like we spent too much time together and it ruined us. But that soon turned into her saying she was sorry for wasting my time and that it was all over. I didn't understand what had happened and know it has turned into her screaming at me everytime we try to talk saying I annoy her that I was a rebound, she never loved me only faked it, she wasn't happy about the baby she was only trying to make herself feel that she was happy about it. Now her friend is trying to convince her successfully that I was a mistake she feel in love with me too fast then when she got pregnant she realized she didn't really love me. (Alittle back story, she use to be married to this guy but said that she never loved him only married him because she felt bad about him losing his job and she couldn't say no, now she got pregnant with this guy but had it aborted after 3 weeks when she started to date the cheating bf. I have asked and she said I was different from this guy but I'm not sure if this is a pattern with her or not. the fact that she decided to keep this baby I feel is a good sign, now back to the story....) I feel like this is just a pregnancy thing and that hormones and alittle fear of the unknow is to blame for this but she swears it isn't the hormones, that this is how she really feels. I just don't know I need help on this, could this just be hormones? will she come back? She is 12 week in now and I miss her so badly I feel lost and so hurt I want her back I don't want the baby growing up in seprate houses or worse, calling someone else dady!!! Now I am 100% sure this is my baby there is no chance that it isn't so please don't respond with anything like that. But please help me any advice is helpful

Anonymous said...

worried father,

First off. The first abortion might have been traumatic and left her feeling that men are untrustworthy. Also, depending on what type of women her mom is you might have to contend with her bullshit agenda. You need to nip this problem quick. She is having second thoughts because she has uncertainty of many things. She is carrying this child how does she know you wont cheat, be an asshole, if you wont break up. Everything and anything will cross her mind to fight back. Gain control of this situation and help her.

Drop flowers off at her door. Food. Yummy fruit drinks. with a brief simple note. "Always love seeing you. I'm always here if you need me." Every note add a little more security. "I have been 110% ready for you, waited a long time for you, I will continue to wait as long as I have to". Maybe drop off an informative book on pregnancy that has a section on hormones.

Don't panic, don't freeze, don't backlash. What u say is important more so than tone/emotion, save that until you finalize your point.

Anonymous said...

Incredibly helpful to me. It's 5:30 am here in NC. My gf and I have bee together for ~ a year. I was in a 4 year relationship when we met, and actually cheated on my ex with my current gf before ending it with ex after 3 months. Moved in together 3 months later. Now, I've never been that guy to cheat, but truly believe this girl and I are meant to be together. She's a radiant light in my world. We've been so in-tune with each other in the past, able to communicate well.
We're at week 11-12. The past couple weeks, things have changed. She's distant, moments of looking at me with love and affection, followed by days of her just being real tired, sick, not attentive or affectionate at all. The past week has been really stressful. Here's some background: I'm 37, she's 26. She was pregnant at 19, had a miscarriage at 5 months. At the time, she lived with her boyfriend and another guy. BF was absent, other guy was a big emotional help. Well, other guy is here visiting from Europe for 2 weeks. And since he's arrived, things have gotten rougher. Part my insecurities over her wanting to hang with him over me & her being distant and sad. Also my insecurities over this guy being a 'rock' for her in the past, and seeming like he's giving her relationship advice based on him knowing me just a couple days. Note on this guy: Cool dude, good friend to her, but has also fathered something like 6-8 kids that he doesn't financially support at all. So there's a little lack of respect there, and don't think he's the best person to be giving a pregnant girl relationship advice. Add to that some fights we've had, and her saying how she's not sure about us. It's been hard.
Now some clarity. I trust her, don't believe there's any cheating or anything at all like that with this guy. She's doesn't yet act like she hates me, or been physical with me. But she has seriously withdrawn. Really sad. Really questioning us. I've tried to talk with her about this, being rational and calm. But it seems to backfire, as ants turn into elephants.
Then came this blog this evening, and I'm very appreciative for it. We're not the only ones going through this. Here's my takeaway:
Don't unload on her. She has enough going on, don't add to it. Suck it up, journal, talk to friends and family, but don't put more on her. Trust your relationship. Be strong, weather the storm. Masterbate. Don't fall into a negative cycle. Make up to each other as soon as things have calmed down, try not to go to bed angry. Reassure her. Tell her you love her. Definitely step up housework (my girl was a housecleaning BEAST, which I'm not used to, having been used to doing this myself. She leaves a mess everywhere now. Be ok with that, and help out).
In other words, remember why you're together in the first place, set your sails for that spot and weather the storm. If it's meant to work, it will. It it doesn't, then you tried and can look at yourself in the mirror each morning.

Anabella said...

I found this looking up "pregnancy irritable".
I am currently 8 months pregnant and this is my second pregnancy. I thought the first time around my hormones were bad, but this time my moods have been black and white since the beginning. I HATE the way I feel a lot of the time, I often wish I could crawl right out of my own skin it feels so wrong.
My own 2 year old daughter can annoy me even when she is being cute, my husband it feels like he can't do anything right. Sometimes the mere presence of him or my daughter can irritate me, so I usually retreat to my bedroom whenever possible. My husband is a trooper, I've picked arguments and ranted about everything and anything wrong with our house, money, life in general.
A good tip is to make sure blood sugar is stable, I find the longer I wait to eat the worse it gets (and I am more likely to have arguments that make no sense).

With my first pregnancy I felt like sex more often, with this one we've hardly made love at all. Even if I've wished and WANTED too my body was no in agreement. Either being to sensitive, or touching feels wrong.

(Con't...)

Anabella said...

(con't)

I do feel bad for my husband and always apologize later on. At the same time however I am the one growing a baby, and having to feel all these weird frustrating ways. My thoughts are often contradictory and I constantly change my mind, I feel possessed!!! I guess I am a little, by the baby and hormones!!!

Husbands, and boyfriends listen up! I know it's awful to deal with, but trust me feeling like you hate the person you love sucks too. I want you to know however that your wife will return to normal after being pregnant. Not instantly, and always look out for post partumn depression!
Keep saying your "yes dears" and "I love you, you are beautiful" because even though it seems like all we care about is the negative... The good counts too, and we'll remember all the good you still did even in our darkest pregnancy moments.
To love someone is to love all of them, the good times and the awful times.

Anonymous said...

I live with a pregnant beast from HELL! It's to the point that I regret the pregnancy - and i realize that sounds horrible, but that's just how I feel right now.

This is the WORST thing that could have happened!

Anonymous said...

Thanks, everyone, for taking the time to post on this blog. Reading this has reassured me (somewhat) that my pregnant wife's mood swings are (somewhat) normal.

My wife is 8 months pregnant now and I assumed the mood swings that she had in her first couple of months were over. How wrong was I? The mood swings are back with a vengeance and I am having an incredibly tough time dealing with being treated like a piece of shit on a piece of shit's shoe.

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING I do leads to criticism. I simply cannot do anything right and when I try to argue my case I am met with facetious comebacks such as 'yes, you're always right, i'm always wrong.' which is annoying because that is quite often the truth!

This afternoon my pregnant wife sulked for an hour because I wouldn't buy her a Blythe doll (she's 27 and we're expecting a boy). This evening she blamed me for the new ironing board not being as good as the old one. The old one that I said was perfectly fine, but she wanted a new one.

I really am trying my best, after an argument last night about bathing our baby I took the initiative to try and smooth things over this morning by nipping out while she was asleep and getting her breakfast to serve to her in bed. This was met with a grunt and of course a 'thank you' was nowhere in sight.

I am now more anxious than anything for this pregnancy to be over so I can see my little man's face and hopefully my wife's bat-sh*t crazy behaviour will come to an end!

Any words of encouragement are welcome, if I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel soon I may have to be extracted by a rescue team!

Anonymous said...

My husband has been trying his best to please me and does things around the house helping as much as he can. And yet he is being yelled at for not doing things to meet my high standards or for little annoying thins I would normally not notice.
I can be very irritating and abusive at times.
One thing I cannot understand it that I do not yell at work at my boss or my clients and so why do I need to take off on my husband whom I love so much?
Can anyone address this mistery?

ScaredPO said...

My girlfriend just hit the 11 week mark and has been evil since day one. One day I'm told if I have a problem to address it when it happens the next day I'm Told if I have a problem to do myself a favor and keep it to myself. 5 minutes later I'm the best thing that ever happened to her as a remote control goes flying by my head. For the first two weeks I tried to make sense of it while avoiding being pinched punched stabbed bit and belittled. I'm constantly yelled at in public and in front of friends and family, as well as any other uncomfortable setting you can picture. I find myself taking 1-2 hour long showers and doing a lot more overtime and LOVING it. Fortunately sex isn't an issue she can't get enough although 5 minutes after having sex ahe complains we don't have sex anymore. It's a bizarre little world I'm living in right now and a huge learning experience. Some key things I've learned about myself are that I'm an idiot, every word that comes out of my mouth is dumber than the last I don't do enough I always smell and I'm better off dead. Love pregnancy it's been a pleasure.

Anonymous said...

Being pregnant is something you men will never understand!!! I am almost at 8 months, and I feel the burn. It's so unfair, and you feel like everything is your responsibility, but you can't control your actions or your body like before you were pregnant. It's emotionally tolling, and just not fun.

The other night I dumped out a bag that had bathroom supplies from a recent trip, and my fiancee asked me to pick it all back up! I cannot bend over anymore, and he just does not get that.... He says things to me like "If you're hungry make yourself food like I do, you should be able to feed yourself" UMMMM hello? I am pregnant, and have a hyperemesis on top (makes you sick feeling all the time) I need help sometimes!

Just understand that this is the most confusing and emotional time a woman, or person for that matter, will ever go through. Making a person with your body pushing it out through your vagina, then feeding it with your breast is not an easy task.

kevin said...

I really don't no how to handle her I love her to death and this is the my second child she is a mix of just about all the worse cases everybody has posted hyperemesis everything I do annoys her I just need help she is on fifteen weeks and last night I blew up bad I ended up breaking two doors because I was so mad and I don't get like that I am not violent it scared the hell outta me I don't wanna lose her it's just hard when ur told ur dumb ur a retard ur everything beside there man after ready all the posts on here I kind of realized I have been a little selfish to her needs and to how she feels so I'm going to try some stuff i grew up being told to never back down well it kinda has made it bad i wish i could just swallow my pride any advice from anybody on how to show my girlfriend i do care and i am sorry for being a selfish ass

Anonymous said...

this makes me feel so much better.
were not completely positive if were pregnant or not yet. she's taking a htp tomorrow morning. she has been delaying it to make sure her cycle wasn't coming.
but i'm positive that she is preggo. exspeacially over the last few days. she'll be "i love you" and 5 min. later. i'm getting yelled at because there's a wendys wrapper in my car. she was wondering why it was there. i didn't do anything i didn't purposely put the wrapper there to upset her. At first i got so irrataed just the fact that i honestly didn't do anything. it started a fight (over a wendys wrapper) and about 10 min later. i just stopped and thought shes pregnant. so i cooled down and told her she was cute and i loved her and that i was sorry, and everything was a-ok after that.

i thought i was gonna go crazy, and right now it's hard to wrap my head and feelings around this she's right and i'm wrong about everything. i felt like crying cause for a moment i felt like i really did do something wrong....well i did.... i wasn't understanding.

Anonymous said...

To kevin
i'm right there with you. i'm not violent exspeacially towards my gf. i mean thats why were with them we love em and we don't wanna be upset with em. but i totally understand. i can do everything perfect i mean spot on and say idk for example she asked me to get her something to drink. haha i said "ok" and that did it. it was hell i try not to blow up but sometimes when its over nothing and im still doing what you ask. it gets to be to much, and it's hard for me to be quiet cause she'll just keep on, and if i say i love you or your cute i feel like shit cause nothings said back, and if i do argue i feel like an ass cause i know it's not her fault but it's hard for me to wrap my mind around that its the pregnancy. i know she would never do that any other time.

bottom line just hang in there. say your sorry as many times as you need too even if you really don't want to. and always say i love you. or try.

thats my goal everyday is to try to make her say it back cause after she says it she calms down idky but it works. just gotta find out what'll calm her down man. just hang in there.

Anonymous said...

im so glad i found this site.
i've felt like just crying the last few days.
it just seems to get worst and worst day by day,
i try to do everything for her and do everything right.
i try to get her everything she needs and wants but having no appreciation for what i do and just being belittled about it is getting to me.
haha the good thing is she wants sex as much as i do.
the only bad thing about that is before or after sex she doesn't want to be touched at all. at times i apprently make her sick by it. idk and the sickness after sex. i feel awful afterwards cuz i feel like i couldve said no and saved her from being sick but haha im a guy and you know. but i do take care of her. i'll do anything for her i love her to death.
im just glad this isn't uncommon! i thought i or her were going crazy!

Anonymous said...

My wife and I have 3 kids with one on the way and every time she gets pregnant she becomes a person I don't know. She experiences intense bouts of rage and nothing I say helps, only makes it worse. I have sworn to myself that I will never go through this again (it's a terrible experience) I am not sure that all women are affected the same way but my wife makes faces that seriously scare me. Good luck guys, thanks for this Blog, very big help.

Anonymous said...

P.S. the best way I can describe her when she is pregnant is it makes her worst Period seem like Bliss. Yes, she gets that crazy, I'm not kidding you. Again, good luck first time Fathers......

anon said...

This is an incredible site to have found. My ex-fiance just left me. She's 23 weeks. We've been fighting since day 1. I've hoarded all the guilt on every occasion. We've broke up numerous times. This last fight I had enough. She text me while I was at my new job that she can't wait to have another penis inside her and that she wants to lick it up and down. I flipped out!! I left my work, stole our car while it was parked at her work and told her if she cheats on me I'll kill her dog. I'm actually a peaceful person believe it or not. But now I'm a violent person and has officially left me. 3 days prior to that we had our deepest and most intellectually passionate conversation since the news of her being pregnant. It happened so fast. Now, she's removed herself from the lease and all her belongings are gone. I finally spoke to her yesterday thinking that a week later she might've calmed down. Nope. Now I won't be in the delivery room and will not be able to help pick out a name. I'm a wreck.

Anonymous said...

Same experience. What I find funny is men are always supposed to be understanding of this problem and that problem....my period....I'm pregnant(Being grumpy about a child we both wanted but we know who was pushing that issue....what the hell?)...and the last excuse that lasts from whenever she says it starts to whenever she decides it ends is menopause!!! When a man gets grumpy and speaks his mind he is an inconsiderant asshole that could never understand what it is like to be a woman. Right back at ya. What SOME women tend to forget is although we are different we are still both human beings and there are more things that make us the same than different. Nobody likes getting shit on. The I love you's and you look great should be apart of every day as do the flowers and date nights and everything else...but if your wife is trying to treat you like shit and walk all over you because of_______excuse...grow some balls and respectfully let her know where the rubber meets the road. Any guy who trys to appease a verbally abusive woman whith I love you's and you are beautiful type comments is setting themselves up for a long road of servitude and abuse. Its all about respect both ways.

Anonymous said...

heyyyy,lots of these comments are very negative and full with anger. i am 34 weeks pregnant but i still get my husband a cup of tea if he wants; i rub his neck after a hard working day; and he does the same thing- offers me a massage; offers to get some things for me if i need them. i mean we are in this together. ofcourse there are time when i get super emotional- my eyesight has gotten worse (it will be ok after the childbirth); i had a terrible lower back pain for few weeks (i used to cry and blame everything else which has nothing to do with my physical pain)now it's gone;hurt burn and feeling gasy no mater what i eat. and yesterday my husband called me 'a huge ass' as for fun- i still cry about it today. i told him, if it was just for me i would run 2 km every morning and do a lotof other sports just as i did before i got pregnant, and be skinny and all- and i miss it,yes. but this child is a miracle best thing that is happening in my life and i have gained the wheight i am supposed to- and if i look fatty and flappy- i know it. and it's just hard when the closest person to you says it even as a joke. every joke has a truth in it anyways. so maybe i overstressed, .. but as to terribly angry moms-to be- well women are different- fathers to be just need to take a tour about how and what happens with women when being pregnant. they will appreciate if you show your interest. we need a hugg; love; tender touch; understanding (even if you don't); ... but you do not have to become a slave; sure do not argue; however no matter how hard it is for a woman to bear things she needs to control herself a bit. at least before saying things just take a tour to bathroom and be alone for a while--- when i show angry i actually cry inside and whish for someone (husband) to understand me. at the same time i don't want to show myself weak so to stop myself from crying i just appear to be angry, yelling... just can't explain- ....

Anonymous said...

Sound like a lot of you guys on here weren't even ready to be in a relationship, far less deal with a pregnant woman. Maybe some of you just need to grow up. My wife is pregnant with our first and she has said and done some outlandish things, but I always keep it in my mind "Hey, its just the hormones. "

Scozta said...

Wow my boyfriend should feel lucky, and I should feel horrible lol. I'm 35 weeks, and we're not exactly in the best of situations, and everything drives me INSANE!!!! I haven't hurt him (good gf) but man am I mean. To you first time dads and moms, I can assure you for some of us we just can't control it. We forget that you're new to this too and that you are probably scared as well. Will we go back to normal? I don't know, do we hate ourselves for what we do and say? Yeah, and we're sorry.

We have an alien, or at least his creepy leech in our bellies draining our life and sanity, and I know personally I am terrified to be a mommy. Please hang in there (except for those being abused by the prego) and take everything in stride half the time we don't mean it

Anonymous said...

Hey guys!

Well this forum definitely made me feel a whole lot better. My boyfriend hasnt really done any research on pregnancy hormones so he's acting like a resentful older brother. He's making me doubt my sanity to the point that i research topics such as "mental illness induced by pregnancy" meanwhile i've never had any mental instabilities before.

I just get upset when im expected to cook, clean and maintain the house all by myself while he hangs out with his friends. I wish he'd help me. I moved out to his house in the boonies from living in a major city and im away from all my friends and family, house bound with a man i only dated for 6 months before getting pregnant. He told me he'd take care of my financially but he never spends any money on me or the baby. I use the little money i make part time for my self.

Anyways, ive been having horrible morning sickness all day long and it makes me sick to cook cause of smells, he thinks im using my pregnancy as an excuse. Even tho it makes me sick, i still cook and gag in the garbage cause if i dont cook i dont eat.

Reading some of the men on this forum saying they do everything for their pregnant loved ones and the women still strike back, i just wish my boyfriend would read this. Cause he does absolutely nothing for me. Hasnt cooked me one meal, cleaned anything, rubbed my back when i have cramps.. Nothing he does nothing and thinks my symptoms are excuses.

Those women are lucky, and seriously read my story and re-think how mean you are to your man. At least they are trying.

Carley said...

Hi everyone, I am planning on passing this to my husband, but most of the time I don't want to hear yes dear or your beautiful, or just I love you. I actually want to have a real conversation! Yes I am sooooo frustrated that I make my husband feel like shit, because for one he's my bestfriend, my shoulder to cry on. The one I turn to for advice. But yes I'm.guilty of yelling at him and crying and all the damn hormones. And yes airplane guy you are SOL. I love my husband very much and honestly I'm just as confused as he is during this time. Sincerely - Crazy @ 15 weeks

J Lectar said...

I love my girlfriend so much, I also love my unborn child too. But I am ALMOST regreting having birthday sex with her. She freaks out over EVERYTHING, she is sick alot which I understand but when she gets mad she gets mad. I dont understand her logic, she says I dont love her, I am not there for her and that she is scared I will leave her. I am not leaving her, but I dont know what to do!
I am 18, shes 17. 2 1/2 months...cant wait to see my baby :) But I need to get through this...somehow.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe the crap these women are dishing out. I am a woman who has had a kid and I don't care how upset I was, I did not take it out on my man. I think these women are using pregnancy as an excuse to behave any way they want. If that isn't the reason they need to get medical help!!!

DamonG. said...

My 9 Month pregnant wife + 4 days over due just told me she wants a divorce because I can't find a replacement remote to the air conditioner that she broke..... This seriously is not a lie.

Anonymous said...

This site has to be the best thing ever created. My wife is 7 weeks pregnant and has taken me on the ride of my life. I was almost to the point of just walking away, she says she wants a divorce, an abortion, that marrying me was the worst mistake of her life. She has literally broke me down. She packed up her things and went to stay by herself at first it bothered me now I'm cool with it. She argued with me over some fruity pebbles, there is no sex and I feel like I'm in a loveleas relationship. The time apart use to kill me now I welcome the silence. I don't initiate conversation cause I don't know who she will be today. I still bring her the things she wants but never do I hear a thank you. I stop saying I love you cause she doesn't say it back. This is the worst shit ever. I do enjoy the space though cause I rather it than her yelling and cursing me out. I hope you guys are right and things does get better.

Anonymous said...

I suppose it is all about keeping my sense of humor through all of this, but right now I'm stuck in hell! She has me trapt and she knows it and she has the license to do whatever and say pretty much whatever...ie throwing shit at me and tearing up pictures and cards! FML!

Anonymous said...

It's been a little more than six months and all I can say Is I had no idea nor will I ever . The love of my life , she pregnant and that is all I can understand . The things she's done and the way things are now it's insane. I have not made things any better , I've taken it personally and freaked out on her , said the stupidest shit and have made it worse . It's tough because no matter what right or wrong I can't do right . Can't talk to her about anything can't be around her and all that . I'm trying to give her what she had asked for ad still snap out and freak and I'm find myself making it worse and needing reassurance at this point . She says she can't give me anything she's cold no feeling no nothing . Ive broken down mentally and am stressing so bad working and working and wanting to feel wanted and a part of our life . I know I have made it worse I want to say sorry and want her to know I am here . I want to stop letting this get to me so bad . She's a tough girl in everyway and needs nothing and right now I need so much in this state we are in . How do I sit back and not be around and still keep te hope that everything is ok? She had told me to stop trying to fix what's not broken but wants nothing to with us . I'm lost . She needs the stress free stuff rigt now and I know but keep making it worse. Will she forgive my stupid ass , does she know how much I'm all for this ? She has nothing but anger towards everything , me especially . I deep down know its temporary but keeping that in front of all my other horrible feelings and houghts seems and has been shown that I can't go on being nothing and have broke down and told her that. All I want is this life with her . I love her so much . She's the one having the hard time this is so so hard on her . Shit Im not even the pregnant one and I'm a bloody disaster .wish I could just be the best man for her ever and stop fucking it up. Will she forgive what I've done , will she come back to me , will she want me ever again ? Sigh.... Thanks for the vent I hope we are ok after this I hope she'll forgive me ..... I'm sorry

Anonymous said...

First off I'll fill you in a little on our situation. Me and my beautiful girlfriend met online. We live about 5 hours apart so we talked off and on for about a year before we met. Finally we met for our first date and everything was amazing! I thought she was so good and she was so into me. We dated for three months and it was like a movie, perfect dates, constant long awesome conversations, and we couldn't keep our hands off of each other when we were together which ultimately led us to pregnancy. I am in an apartment and she was back in with her parents for now but still 5 hours apart. She had been up to my town and met most of my family but do to work I wasn't able to make it to meet hers. When we found out we were so nervous. It was something we both had always wanted but weren't sure if we were at that stage of the relationship. Eventually we met on a work day and talked lots and decided we were ready to be parents and we would buy a house in my hometown and she would move here before the baby was born. The first month was so good. We talked about the future, about our family, about baby names. It all seemed so happy! Then came the morning sickness. She was so sick, and felt like crap all day. I tried my best to support her and tell her it would get better and send her little tips I would research that could help even a tiny bit. I would text good morning, I love you, and she would text back, I puked 3 times this morning. All I read was be supportive and help with anything you can. Keep telling her she is beautiful and pretty and that you love her. We are at about 9 weeks now and I was finally able to go down and meet her family this past weekend. The family part was good and they seemed to like me! Unfortunatatly she seemed so unhappy to see me! She wouldn't hug me and told me if I kissed her it would make her sick. I just wanted to comfort her and make her feel better but I didn't hug her or kiss her. When we went to bed she had no interest in me at all. She said not to touch her that she just wasn't feeling good. I tried to listen and stayed on my side of the bed but tried to rub her back a little when I heard her moaning in stomach pain. There were times that were good, like when she let me put my hand on her belly where the baby was and she held my hand there. It felt like we had something so good again, but then I could do or say no right. If I didn't say anything I was ignoring her, if I told her she was beautiful and I loved her I was being mushy and she hated it. When I left for home there wasn't any affection whatsoever, just a drive safe and I'll talk to you tomorrow. I was shocked when I got home and she called to make sure I made it ok. It made me feel so good that she cared even though it didn't seem like it. Tonight I had something on but when I got home she had wrote me an email saying that I was not listening to her and that I should not have touched her at all over the weekend and that she went appartment hunting today as she was prepared to raise the baby on her own and would not be moving here. Also she said that she seriously thought of ending us this weekend and having and abortion but couldn't because the baby has a heartbeat now. I am in schock!!!!! I love her more than anything else and would do anything for her and our future family! That hurt so bad! I've read that hormones do this and she did mention that maybe she was just being crazy and hormonal when she phoned shortly after but wow! All I want is for her to be happy and to remember how awesome it was before we got pregnant and how she loved the things I said and did. Even if she could remember how excited we were before she started getting sick. I told her that I loved her and would not touch her at all if we see each other soon, and that I would stop calling her pretty if it helped. I honestly am so confused and don't really know what I have done differently to make her not like me when she loved me so much before. I'm really scared and would love any advice on anything.

Anonymous said...

Oh and just an update from the above post! Tonight I talked to her again and she is a completely different woman. She even told me she loved me. I know it has to be the hormones now as she was completely on board with me tonight and looking to the future! I really love her and that email was a shock and shot straight to my heart in a dagger like fashion. Now I know I just need to keep my chin up and always be there for her no matter what until this is all over and we have our beautiful baby!

Anonymous said...

Hey! Pregnancy sucks, but when the baby arrived it's well worth it!

Chris McGinty said...

My girlfriend is 18 weeks and this has been the hardest thing I've ever gone through as a man. Now, my girlfriend wasnt the most stable girl in the first place.. she was always quick to temper even before the pregnancy.. she punched me in the face hard while I was driving today for changing the radio station and has hit me more times than I can handle. I have tried to be the best provider for anything she needs.. do anything for her within my capabilities and its never enough.. I am sleeping at my mothers house right now.. 30 years old HA! I never thought I'd be back here. But this page is great and has restored a lot of confidence back towards me. Maybe getting lumped up every once in a while by a pregnant chick isnt so bad in the grand scheme.. thanks everyone!

JS03 said...

Ok, here's my problem. My girlfriend is pregnant and I want to keep it. We are both 30, she's 5 weeks in.
I swear like clockwork, from the day she got pregnant.... Sh wants to break up!!! And we havent been together that long... She's tried 5 times already! I keep talking her out of it, but I'm really exhausted.
I simple don't know what to do. She calls me an absolute idiot if itry to reason with her and she says I don't know anything. Then proceeds to tell me to F off.... We also don't live together yet, so it's really complicated to deal with.
Do pregnant woman threaten to break-up with their partners? Do they threaten to terminate the pregnancy?

Help please!!

JS03 said...

Same boat.... Please relay any advice you get. Mine booked a clinic appointment to go terminate the pregnancy and she started using ADD medication!!! (she actually has ADD though)
I feel powerless, alone, and inadequate. And I'm desperate for answers

JS03 said...

I am so sorry. I have been doing everything for my pregnant love one and she's only coming with abortion plans, and break-ups.

In my case, I honestly think I've lost. Which makes me miserable.

So I admire how hard you try being in your delicate condition.

lili said...

Thank you for your blog! and thank you all for your comments, I've been laughing and at the same time feeling a lot of remorse and shame because I feel like you are describing me! I'm 5 1/2 months pregnant and I'm feeling really aggressive and hostile and it's not just limited to my husband who I love so much but I'm lashing out at strangers where I swear I could almost smash someones head in- I have road rage and I times I feel like I should just drive in the slow lane and yell my head off going 45 miles an hour. I'm also feeling really sexually aggressive which my husband loves but I swear I want to take him from behind, that's how crazy I feel. I was like this with our first child as well. I was starting to feel like maybe I was losing my mind and was going to go seek therapy. I have dreams I'm beating people up.

Thank you all for this forum, I feel a little normal and understood, it helps to read responses from both sides. My husband is really understanding but some stranger may not be and there is nothing more ridiculous than a pregnant woman trying to brawl with all my largeness.

justin said...

Thanks for this post........its the first I've read that I agree with which really has me a little worried. My girlfriend is only 8 weeks but she is so incredibly irrational and selfish. She is stuck in a revolving pity party that I finally got sick of yesterday and as polite and non confrontational as I could is suggested she get out and do things like take the dogs for a walk or ride her bike. She blew up and started in on me. I tried my best to explain I wasn't being mean or angry but sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and crying is not healthy for her or the baby and she has to get a grip and control over it.

To me hormones are a crappy excuse. Yes I will never know what it feels like. Nor do I care what it feels like when you are disrespecting me. If it was a good excuse lawyers would have by now figured out how pregnant women can get away with murder and how hormonal teenage boys could get away with rape. The women on here that say the guys just have to deal with that should take their own advice when their man is stressing over something like money and lashes out at her. Do they just turn the other cheek and forgive? He'll no they don't!

Im with you, be respectful but inform her that you are not the enemy or the scape goat. An occasional outburst is one thing, this daily beat down is another. And I know it stooping but I am starting to feed it eight back to her so she starts to feel how hurtful it is, I tried being uber nice with no results, im over it.

Entech.medic@gmail.com

Heeeelp said...

Thank you Jesus for this Blog! My Story. Met my girlfriend, she got pregnant while on the pill. We had trust issues but once she got pregnant we both came clean (no cheating hitting etc.), and said let’s move forward. I did what I thought was the honorable thing and proposed, she said yes, and since it has been hell! She does not deal with change well and has issues she needs to work on. I said lets post pone the marriage and work on us she insisted we work on it and everything will be fine. On top of that she said let’s get a place together, so I did. Now she decided she doesn’t know when she wants to move in, she never has anything nice to say to me. She told me she wants her space, I give it to her, then get yelled at and told that when I don’t check in it means I don’t care. On top of that she has decided to post pone the marriage, and not sure when/if she wants to move in. She has said she wants to take things slow and I only see her once a week if that so we can go on dates, but still just nastiness, nothing nice to say. She is 17 weeks now, and I am not sure exactly what to do. I am freaking out because here, I did everything she said she wanted now, she is going back on everything. She says she wants to work things out and do this together but she just does not know how. She has told me not to talk to anyone in her family or ANY of my friends about it and she is telling everyone everything is ok and we are going to work it out, yet no calls from her, nothing unless it is to complain. Even if I tell her I have done something for the baby it is well that is dumb, or why did you do it without me….I really have no clue what to do. She was moody and unstable before during the magic two weeks but Lord help me…”Endure the woman and you can endure the child?”. At this point I just don’t know if I should just plan on doing this separate or what. I try to talk to her about it and she says she does not want to have serious conversations and that it stresses her out. Help!

Heeeelp said...

Also adding: She tells me my messages to her Have a great day, I love you, sleep well are stupid and piss her off because she is pregnant, doesnt feel well, and I am being disregarding of her feelings...

jusn said...

I can't stand my pregnant girlfriend she act like she can raise my child by herslf with her mom help. I cant wait until she gives birth all the shit she give she getting right back

tricky 43 said...

im going through hell with my now ex partner she is 24 weeks and she ended things at the 9 week stage and boy has it gone wrong bigtime any suggestions im lost and was really looking forward to being a father

Anonymous said...

I'm a father of three kids, two in my marraige and one before. my wife and i we are expecting a third child together, it all started perfect until this weekend she is a changed person completetly. she's 29 weeks pregnant and i nearly left my house bcause of the arguments she starts with me. she's always moody and don't want to sleep in the same bed anymore. she goes and do shopping with our savings money and if i ask her why spending the money without our agreement, she just tell me that she felt like going and spend if i have a problem with that she will send all the shopping back. Yhoo!!! it fills like first experience of pregnancy. last night she said she wants to go away and never come back.

Anonymous said...

We are at 21 weeks now an she started out great till about week 16 then oh goodness it's a whole other person god bless her I know it's hard on her I can't put myself in her shoes we are currently not speaking as a lot of stories go just hope it passes soon!!!!! Good luck everyone

jusn said...

OMG what have I done my girl is driving me CRAZY only six more weeks to go then "The Big Pay back"

jusn said...

I love my girlfriend but she driving me crazy. Now she want to add her last name to the baby name. pregnant or not i dare her to do that

Anonymous said...

My wife is 3 months pregnant and prior to that we were rocky. She is telling me that I'm not allowed at any of the doctors appointments and that I need to sleep in our spare bedroom so she can sleep better. She rarely speaks to me, and when she does this demon inside of her comes out... She doesn't speak to anyone else the way she speaks to me. I'm really hoping that she opens up to me going to the dr. Appointments, and actually sees that I AM truly excited about being a father, because currently she just thinks in BSing her. Is there hope?

Anonymous said...

OMG...I'm 33weeks pregnant and feel horrible I have 2 other kids 2 tak care of...I cook and clean for my kids and bf also work and stressed out,have gestational diabetes. I dnt knw why men are the ones crying like babies bcuz their women are hormonal,women under go huge changes within and outside of their bodies to carry a baby FOR 9 LONG PAINFUL MONTHS NOT TO MENTION GIVING BIRTH TO A BABY. MEN JUST COMPLAIN A LOT!!! They have NO IDEA WHAT ITS LIKE TO HAVE A BABY...NO SLEEP HEARTBURN BACKACHES SWELLING CRAVINGS WEIGHT GAIN ECT. ALSO STILL HAVE TO MANTAIN A HOUSEWHOLE while being pregnant. Be greatful she is carry your unborn child!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

this is my story...my girlfriend is about a month pregnant according to her..anyways she leaves at 7:30am for work everyday ,i get home about 8pm she hates my guts ,I cnt do anythng right I get yelled at for walking into my own bedroom...I feel like jst leaving her ass...wht can I do??

Anonymous said...

i hate my girlfriend when she is preg

jusn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Thank you for this blog! This is going to be our first baby together and throughout this pregnancy she acted very normal.. The due date is July 18th, four days from and two weeks ago she out of nowhere blindsided me... Telling me I am useless, I don't help out around the house(even though that is all I do is help), she is going to move out and raise the baby by herself. she is mad at me today because I went to my parents house for two hours even though I don't see them very often.. We got in an argument and i just found this site. So I read the blog and comments and I talked to her for 30 mins. She cried the whole time and I told her I am sorry about everything. I still love her. I am amazed how someones personality changes all of a sudden. I am just glad it is almost done. Thanks everyone for the advice.. And hope everything changes for the better.

$torm said...

It sucks. I've pasted a text message so ppl may understand that it does get bad. Just smile and work a ton of OT.

There are moments like this that make me not want us to move in together [ we currently live together] and just move in to my moms and be happy with our baby. BECAUSE YOU CAN'T NOT DO THE THINGS YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO DO (AS A DOG OWNER), let alone bringing in a child in to this world. If you can't do these simple thing what makes me expect you can handle the bigger things. When they come. Do you expect me and the baby to wait on you when we or he needs things....little by little [insert your name here] I will not need you to do things for me and our baby. I'm tired of every little f@cking argument we get into, it just pushes me further away form me wanting us to be together.

This was in response to me being unhappy about going to get dog food after a 12hr work day. Hang in there guys. Its worth it.

Anonymous said...

I am just here to vent. Thank god I'm not the only one experiencing this shit. My fiance is pregnant and I was thinking about calling off the wedding. I can't stand her. She's such a fucking bitch right now. Everything is my fault, all the time. I can't do anything right. I don't even want to be near her anymore. I am starting to dislike her. As one guy said, I don't think I like her anymore, but I love her. Trust me man, that makes total sense to me right now.

I can't wait for this to be over. Pregnancy fucking sucks. I understand she is hormonal, but is it really necessary to pick fights with me and repeat herself 50 times, even when I agree with what she is saying? Seriously, she tells me something, I say, "I know honey, I'll try not to do that anymore" and she tells me 49 more times until I practically scream at her "I KNOW! I'LL TRY NOT TO DO THAT ANYMORE!", then I'm the asshole because she's selectively deaf half the fucking time. I am so sick of her it's not even funny. And we're only 3 months in.....this should be a blast from here on out.

suffering-father-to-be said...

Hi All,

My partner is overdue by 4 days now. She has been absolute hell to live with, and we've come very close to seperating on a number of occasions, the only thing (literally) that is holding us together is this baby. I just hope that when he's finally here she will get off my back and grow up, she acts like a 13 year old girl with her completely irrational anger and unjustified hatred toward me.

Alot of the comments here have basically said "hang in there"...but I for one don't feel that's the correct route of action. My obligation and privilege is to bring our son in to the world and to provide him with the tools to be the best human he can be...staying in a strained relationship full of hatred and anger is not that. She was a like this (but slightly, and only slightly, toned down) before she was pregnant, so for me this relationship needs to improve or she won't have me there. I will always be there for my son and support him, but being a father doesn't mean I have to lose sight of my own personal happiness too. My happiness will pass on to him as he grows older, and seeing two happy parents will give him a better start in life then two miserable hatred-fuelled parents.

All I'm saying is, fathers are persecuted for making poor decisions such as dissapearing when a partner falls pregnant, but leaving a partner for the sake both the childs and your future happiness is not a poor decision, its a logical one.

You will know deep-down whether her behaviour is either out of character or whether she has the capacity to acknowledge her faults, if the answer is no to either or both, my advice is get out of there.

I have a gut-feeling I'll be taking my own advice.

Anonymous said...

18 weeks in and this morning she went mental.

She flat out refuses to have ANY baby stuff in the house till it's born in Feb 2012, which I think is ridiculous.

Foolishly whilst she was out having a fun weekend with her friends I nabbed a free moses basket from my sister along with a couple of toys, well that was clearly a mistake since this morning she wouldnt stop going on about how she told me NO baby stuff till birthday... She walked off in tears and me having a full ahead had to get on another train, then thats my fault cause i let her walk off in tears and now she doesnt love me anymore.

Ive taken all the baby stuff back to my sisters and am washing my hands of it. Ill be here physically but am not getting involved in anything from this day forth.

She asked me what colour would I want the room, I said green or yellow, her response, well you answered that too quickly so you obviously dont care. Bear in mind we wernt finding out the babys sex until birth (her choice) so we have to pick a neutral colour and forgive me but asides from white I cant really think of another neutral room shade!

I left work early today because I couldnt concentrate, imagine if i got sacked because of all this, we'd be truely f***ed...

Lost the will to care

Eugene Dixon said...

24 years old soon to be dad

This is our first child and its good to know there are others going through the same endeavor.

My partner has turned into a pregnant monster who gets so frustrated at the site of me but, yet when i am away says she misses me?

It's month eight and I do not know how much more of her mood swings and one sided opinion everything is my fault.

Please help me!!!

Anonymous said...

26yr male AAmerican

This helps so much, my bm is almost 5 months and a completel a diffrent person. We dont stay together and the neglect is killiy me.

When will she calm down and stop being mad at the world because i want to be apart of everything but she will not let me. Hope this is not forever

Anonymous said...

Wow thank the lord for this blog... my gf is 16 weeks pregnant and she is really going through it. I didn't understand why until I read this. she puts me through the ringer for no reason at all. I couldn't believe the way she's been treating me. she loves me one minute and hates me the next and I've really been letting it get to me but thanks to what I read I've came to the


conclusion that its just something I'm going to have to deal with. I love this women soo much again thanks for everyone's input

Anonymous said...

I just found this website because i couldn’t take it nemore. I really want to leave her but know how bad it will look if i do. Pardon my grammar.... not in the mood to be proper. Well my fiancée cuts me down and makes me feel so so bad and not sure how to take it. She can be the woman i wanted to marry one minute and the next telling me how I’m a mistake. I don’t get angry very easy and i don’t do spiteful things but…. she on the other hand goes to extremes with this. She is so upset at me for getting a herniated disk in my back and not being able to work. I understand her concerns (note: never ask how my back feels or if she can help me in any way) but if i had the choice i would be working not sitting home wanting to die from the pain (talk about bad timing for the back to go out)( I had to walk a few hundred yards to go to a Dr appointment with her and was in such pain I felt like I was going to pass out and die but at least I was at the hospital already (my point being is I will do all I can for this child and her but to no avail). I offer everything i can and do anything and everything for her but nothing is good enough. I get cut down for stuff i can’t control. I really love her. This is my first pregnancy and her 3rd. I pride myself on being the best i can to who I’m with but i can’t be good to someone who hurts me so bad. I realize it is a hormone thing and from what i have read from the other posts i might have it easy and probably am whining but i don’t feel like i deserve to be abused for loving her and my child. Not looking for advice cause I get the same answer from everyone I have asked but am so scared to leave her cause I know I won’t get to be part of my first kids ultra sounds and all the good stuff. But to hide in my room and cry till I can’t breathe cause of how bad she makes me feel can’t go on. Note: she is only 9 weeks along how can I do 9-16 months of this? Well the creator has my plan and will make sure I do what I am supposed to but I had to get this out. Sorry for bit^%$ing but all my friends can’t take hearing it nemore. If you do have thoughts please feel free to tell me cause I’m not above hearing ideas or just telling me to shut up and suck it up. Thanks for the place to vent :)

Illinois, Mike said...

My wife and I are three months pregnant, our first born is 22 months, now, and has been acting terrible two for months.

As I read, I laughed some, which was a mistake. She came up behind me, read over my shoulder (because pregnant women are the most trusting women in the world) and has been standing over me yelling since.

Flying Beetroot said...

This is a timeless piece of writing. Five years on and I'm going through it at the moment. Apparently not wanting eggs this morning threw her into a blind rage.

Anonymous said...

Very interesting blog. I've been reading it most of the day. I've been with my girlfriend for about 8 months and she's 9 weeks pregnant now. I met her while teaching English overseas.

We have a wedding date and were planning on moving to another country with better living conditions, but now I'm not so sure we can do it.

This week has been pretty stressful. At one point we were trying to find a hospital where she was supposed to stay for a while. We ended up walking a long distance in the freezing cold looking for it. Finally, she just had a meltdown. It was so scary. She seemed unwilling to even take another step with me, and I was worried she was going to lie down and freeze out there. Eventually we got to a warm place and did make it to the hospital, where she's staying now on bed rest. They say she might be there for a while because of some complications, but that it still looks good.

She does really want to leave this country, and I'm really getting sick of it here too. But I'm wondering if it's irresponsible of me to go through with it. Is it a good idea to just take her from her home, her family, and friends and move to an unfamiliar place with a foreign language?

I visit her almost every day in the hospital, a trip that takes about an hour and a half each way. The last few days she's just been mad at me. On top of that the nurses and lady who keeps the coats also yell at me when I come in. I don't understand the language very well and it just humiliates me every time. I don't really want to rant here, but you can see what I might be going through. Sometimes it's been ok, and sometimes I just come home, drop to my knees, and cry like a baby.

Anonymous said...

The problem with me is I love my wife so unconditionally that it makes me weak in her eyes, I literally would do anything thus girl asks just to see her smile, for those of you who are getting fed up with being treated like dirt I can confidently say that they still love and adore you. And I guarantee that when you're not around cry with regret, they won't tell you but they are sorry they just can't help it. The key is to not fuel the fires that break out. Don't tell them that you got your feeling hurt instead say that you understand how hard this is for you and don't feel bad for me. Being offshore for a job is so hard, and I realised that she doesn't need to respond to every text or tell you she loves you every time you say it. Don't tell her everything will be okay and she'll get over this instead say can I massage your legs and feet, can I make you some tea, can I get you some gas station nachos and a soft drink. Can I rub lotion on your tummy, say I wish I could make you feel better, then go do the dishes and do laundry and go out of your way to make her feel special, coming from a husband away from my true love I would do anything to rub her feet, not for 10 min. But for an hour and ten min. Don't get hurt if she doesn't want sex, let her talk to other people even guy friends. Cherish every waking moment you have with her, tell her she is pretty and her belly is cute,. Don't get mad and never say mean things, that woman is carrying your baby and its darn hard work. She is your angel and she will love you forever as long as you don't break her heart. Yes I'm on my phone so its not proper grammar this I realize

Anonymous said...

Me and my fianc'e have been together for 9 years. We have three amazing children together. When I was pregnant I was sooooo mean to him! I always wanted to punch him and ended up slapping him in the face. Let me tell you, this man can take a beat down!I yelled, called him names, told him to get out, don't touch me, everything you could possibly think of. It was the hormones. I love him so much, he is a wounderful man, lover, best friend and father. So to all you dads out there going through this, hang in there because it will be over soon. This does not mean that she really hates you! Pregnancy comes with so many changes and sometimes we can't and don't know how to handle or control it. Don't give up, it is worth it in the end.

Gooner, London said...

My gf and I have been together for 15 years (next Week!) and been trying for a baby for two years, and finally we got the news we wanted last week. She is 6 weeks pregnant and has flipped. Last week was fine, we are so excited but a little anxious after a miscarriage this time last year, so we are keeping it our little secret. She was feeling down today so i suggested she told her mum, someone very close who she could confide and discuss any concerns etc, and generally let off steam. She let off steam alright, at me. She's gone barking mad, and I think i've committed my first cardinal sin, I told her so!!! So I found your website and I'm amazed to find that the hormones kick in so quickly, i was preparing myself for an onslaught in a few months time but wow, never expected it so soon. I'm not the most patient person but will have to learn to nod in agreement and try not to breath so loudly.

When is it acceptable to tell friends and family the good news? Straight away, 12 weeks, 6 months when the kids have left home and gone to university?

Anonymous said...

thank you thank you! I was crying last night because she wouldn't let me sleep over a fish!!!!

Unknown said...

Hmmmm. Well an 8 year relationship and I thought I knew her well... lol.. she is 13 weeks pregnant and I feel like her whipping post. I have provided everything in this relationship from day one.. This will be the first time that she provided anything. At a lost dont want to be here just want to leave can't sleep with her she is mean.. wakes me up in the middle of the night yelling about the trash can.. yikes I can't take it anymore...

Anonymous said...

My husband was expecting me to get a job after we moved to a new state. I tried explaining to him about how pregnant women are often discriminated against by both men and women when you go for an interview. It annoyed me that he is still asking me to try and get a job even though his job is good enough to pay the bills. I have always worked and even when he wasn't I was working two jobs. He has also been demanding that I do A LOT of household chores, which is annoying the shit out of me because I'm so tired and he's NOT getting it. I'm not only pregnant but we have a toddler that I have to take care of as well. Today he was in the kitchen and asked me to make him a salad for work and I did but when I asked him to take the dirty clothes down stairs he was up in arms about how he has to go to work. It basically ended up in an argument. I shouldn't have to beg him to do something to help me out. I can't carry heavy things because I have spotted after carrying heavy things and all I asked was for him to help me and he puts up a fight. I don't feel that I'm asking a lot especially considering the fact that I AM pregnant and if I pick up heavy things I spot and it could affect the baby in a negative way. I wish I had a husband who was more understanding and helpful. Not one who is helpful and understanding to other people like his own family instead of his wife and child/ren.

Anonymous said...

On our second pregnancy and my wife has truly entered the twighlight zone. Got up to make some coffee and I couldn't find it. My wife hid it from me . Not really sure why. Rather than engage her as to the whereabouts of the coffee, I opted to zip down to the 7-11 and get a cup. When she saw my cup of coffee she asked if I had gotten her a cup. Called me a selfish asshole and went upstairs to shower.Even though I knew there was coffee somewhere in the house, I poured half my coffee in a mug, added cream and sugar as she likes, and gave it to her. She came downstairs without the coffee. I went to the bathroom and the cup was in the sink , clearly dumped out. When I asked if she had dumped the coffee, she said she wasn't sure if I had laced it with poison and therefore disposed of it. She then went to the kitchen and made herself a cup of coffee. I said nothing. When she left, I looked again for the hidden coffee and couldn't find it. I really wanted to know why, but instead I just rode my pogo stick through a mine field. Much safer

Josh Modeer said...

I can't tell you how frustrated I am right now. My wife is 7 weeks pregnant with her first.She is 35 and is a Registered nurse. She knows to much and all the complications that come with the whole age thing. My point is I have been through this 2 times prior. I have 2 children. It's not that I don't have any sympathy but why all the nagging and bitching. I compliment and wait on her hand and foot. I have given her flowers every week and not cheap ones. Sex life is horrible. It seems that the more I try and do the further away I push her. My question is; Do I just become this asshole and quit complimenting her and offering to rub her back, legs etc.. Forget the flowers? Please help!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey I'm 29 my girls is 26 she only 11weeks it's my first kid her 3rd man 1st of all I'm not saying I'm perfect by far but we live in two different states I drive to see her in her kids all the time I love them I swear I want here as a wife but it's like she want to push me away now she is really tripping on me she wasn't like this just around Xmas I work full time job I never let her go with out I send flower I just really don't under stand I take care of her kids she have now like they my kids it just over all seem like she don't want to be bother with when I text or call its like I'm on her nervs her family says that she is a real b#### when pregant but I just understand how do u treat sum one that treat u so well so bad so don't wk I took her to Vegas for Xmas she was Just do happy with then this pass week just hit a 360 help me please cause I font want yo leave but that all I can think of

Anonymous said...

to Anonymous (January 5, 2013 at 1:31 PM), I feel for you. Really. That's a bad case of pregnancy hormones. This posting has me in line for a canonisation. I thought I was bad (I'm pregnant) but seems like you have drawn the short straw. Good luck. I'm sure she'll come out of the twilight zone and all will be well (as well as can be with newborn and one other) when baby is out :-)

Anonymous said...

I'm 45 my husband i 28 missed 2 months of my period don't know wats happening to my body had signs of lite bleeding and stops ankle swells pain on left forearm feel bloated negative home preg test twice confused. HELP

Bill, almost a dad said...

Go see a doctor, especially since you're having issues with bleeding.

Anonymous said...

Okay, here is a pregnant woman's advice that will be unlike other advice.

Make your woman go out with friends/family. Get one of those sappy girl movies, even if she hates them, like The Notebook, and pick up her fave ice cream and offer to help her eat the ice cream and watch the movie with her. Tell her she is being a child and she needs a time out to collect her thoughts and speak to you as an adult. Let her know you are there for her if she needs anything and you won't judge her when she asks. Make her food and help her actually eat it because we hate it when you don't eat and we do. If she accuses you of not doing something or doing it wrong, ask her to help you by writing a list or showing you how it's done. DO NOT let her demean you in any way, if you are trying and she doesn't see it, have somebody other than you point it out to her, she will see it then.

Jaime Robles said...

I just got into a fight because she wanted to see if I was texting a girls? I showed her the phone that proved no texts. The she says what was I really doing then? I never gave her my phone to look at. (She invaded my phone day before yesterday.) She went crazy and started yelling that I was cheating. WTF! Shes nine months pregnant. I just stayed my ground and remained silent I never gave her my phone. She wants to break up now. I dont have the energy anymore for her crap. I dont talk back anymore. SHE DOES NOT LISTEN TO REASON.

Anonymous said...

I came on here and wrote a very long and detailed complaint on how crazy my pregnant wife has become. I was just about to post it when I got paranoid she might somehow find my post and trace it back to me. Now that I have deleted my rant you guys should know I love my wife and know this pregnancy must have her hormones completely out of wack, because she was the nicest, kindest person I ever met before she became pregnant. I'll keep being patient and understanding and continue to treat her like a queen. Hopefully at the end of 9 months a little demon spawn doesn't pop out of her and she returns to her normal loving self.

Anonymous said...

I have read and read so many posts about this subject!

My ex-girlfriend (17 weeks) finished with me 5 weeks ago and now has stopped all communication. One week she said she really loved me and then the next we're finished! Madness!

We live in different countries which is extremely hard. I was due to go over end of March for the 20 week scan, but she said NO.

A lot chaps said hang on, but I think with the distance it's not going to work.

Anonymous said...

fcuk off! - love a pregnant woman

Witness Rarir said...

2 weeks ago my galfrend left to her sister just to meet them- she was supposed to be back not more than 4 days- Now this is the 3rd week- and I call her she yells at me and last night she disrespected me on her sisters phone- Me & her sister suspects she is pregnant- we havent tested pregnancy but i am sure she must be- my gal has never been soo rude to me- 3 days ago when we spoke she was so mad on the phone tat she hang up on me- i called her sister who adviced me to keep away maybe its hormonal changes 4 pregnancy- I sooo miss her voice this is the 4th day no talk i also dont even try to call her- now i wait she is supposed to come today, and its mdday she hasnt called but i wont call either- i dont want to annoy her eitherway! my galfrend knows am her best and i do everything she asks- Am really sure she is pregnant- Now if 1st timers mothers behave like my gal- men need to go for training to absorb this - i tell u- U know on the last phone call i told her to live me alone with such behavior- and i realize di didnt know what she was going thru- if this is true then!! mhh my bad- i love her**

Ash Po said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Im 29 weeks I wish my man was understanding and nice he dont do nothing for me really I feel likw he hates me never wants to spend anytime with me hangs out with his friends :( makes me sad and mad I ask him to rub my back bc it hurts he conplains his hands hurt but sits here and plays video games all night

Anonymous said...

God bless You for this site. I was feeling pretty low. My wife is 4 mos with her first. Shes pretty....touchy to begin with but godamighty she's a vicious, cruel shrew bear right now. PMS has always been bad but at least predictable enough for me to gird my loins and soldier up. This is completely random and predictably unpredictable without logic or reason. This morning I simply told her my mom (who she despises-go figure) wanted to give us a nice camper and some land we are to inherit. Thought this was a good thing...not so much... Commenced to accusing me of cheating, told me I completely repulse her, kept telling me to just leave if I didnt like the way she was acting because we'd both be much better off and that she doesnt love me. Had been perfectly pleasant and cuddly 30 mins earlier. I just told her to get it out, I know she didnt mean that, I love her, etc... which.... pissed her off more-Duh!- who wouldnt get even more pissed off at patience and kindness! Well, this aint my first rodeo- hormonal women have been a big part of my life for a long time but good lo-ard this is madness...utter and complete madness...painful too. This site makes me feel a bit better. Be strong y'all !

Anonymous said...

My girlfriend has gone madd!!! i see all these post of just "hang in there" as advice. I guess what im trying to say is that im dealing with great uncertainty, i never knew my girlfriend before she got pregnant(one night stand), so i never had a chance to know her true personality. I stepped up as a man and showed nothing but love for her and her two kids, and im very excited to have my first daughter on the way,and went ahead and had them move in with me, but my girlfriend is driving me nuts!! Constant complaining, nagging, and never satisfied for what i do for her, not to mention she doesnt trust me everytime i step out the door. i never gave her a reason not to trust me, she says all men are liers.Im trying my best to make it work, but dont know what to do or who to talk to.

Anonymous said...

My fiancée went crazy with our first kid. Then it seemed like she was at least remorseful about the things she said. She is now just a few weeks prego with our second and, I think she left all the remorse at the hospital when she had our first. But seeing this post reminds me its okay, I will just be doing my best to deal with this crazy lady for the next nine months. And I don't think that being pregnant is an excuse for you to disregard other peoples feelings, or mental and spiritual well beings. Especially when we are USUALLY doing everything in our power to assist in your being comfortable and non-irritated.

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