Comments on Almost a dad: Why pregnant women yell at you

After reading these posts all i can say is a big "...

2010-07-19T14:20:09.664-07:00

After reading these posts all i can say is a big "Thank you" to all. Im currently trying to deal with my girlfreind in her 15th week! Things really have been going south and im now thinking i cant wait for it to be over. Im so glad im not the only one who's having a rough time i do really feel for you all! Dont get me wrong I love her so much and she really doesnt understand how happy i am to start a family with her. Unfortunatly I've now got to the point im starting to stuggled! After reading everyones comments i now have a little hope back in me to see it through to the end

I laughed so hard reading all of these replies. I...

2010-04-26T01:35:03.206-07:00

I laughed so hard reading all of these replies. I'm going through it all. From the way she always talks to me, I would almost swear this 3 month pregnant woman is going to kill me in my sleep. This blog was like somebody giving me a flash light until I reached the light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm so glad I found this page. We're at 15 weeks a...

2010-04-22T10:01:20.823-07:00

I'm so glad I found this page. We're at 15 weeks and my wife is going berserk! Yesterday she got mad at me for owning a red scarf(!). In the middle of yelling at me she tells me she made juice for me and to tell her if I like it, and then goes back to yelling at me.

When she argues and lashse out at me I just play rope-a-dope and don't respond. By bedtime she's gotten the venom out of her system and we're okay in the morning. But I never know what to expect when I get home now.

I am so glad I read this blog. My wife and I are ...

2010-04-21T08:42:23.281-07:00

I am so glad I read this blog. My wife and I are at 7 months with our second child. This morning she told me she loves me but is not sure if she likes me anymore. I just feel the resentment everytime I call her from work. Cold shoulder. Watch here interact with my kid or her family-there's the woman I've been madly in love with for 13 years! She resents the fact I don't leave for work earlier, she resents the fact i don't stay at home later to get the kid dressed, she resents the fact I go to work, she resents me for not working enough. This past weekend, I cleaned (scrubbed) all three bathrooms, mowed the lawn, painted one room to make room for the new nursery, moved furniture around, then that night she went to bed crying because I cleaned all the contact cases and didn't put a fresh one out for her. ARRRGGG! Like many of the other posters noted, the intimacy is gone now too. She doesn't even want to be touched. I hope this is temporary, because I don't want to be a part-time dad, but I can't live a full-time marriage like this.

Thank God I found this site! No matter how repeti...

2010-04-20T13:42:25.686-07:00

Thank God I found this site!

No matter how repetitive it may seem, I encourage everybody to post on here.

I went into our pregnancy neither particularly gentle or patient - but man I am learning and I know I'll need it to raise my boy. This time is truly a proving ground. Keep focused; this WILL separate the men from the boys.

And remember there is a woman you love in there...

Stick with it guys - it's amazing how the aggravat...

2010-04-07T03:32:58.563-07:00

Stick with it guys - it's amazing how the aggravation and aggression fades (in my wife's case after 3 months). Then you get to enjoy some of it, seeing the baby moving around (we're now around month 8).

My wife can now talk in a fairly relaxed manner about how she felt at the time, and explained to me that she was okay all day at work, but as soon as she saw me, she just hated me, and she 'knew' she should stop shouting and screaming at me, but just couldn't control it.

I know if it was the other way around, her girlfriends would tell her to get the hell out of an abusive relationship - but I definitely think it helps that men can talk about this stuff these days - I didn't realise I wasn't the only one until I got online and googled it.

And the fact that I was reading comments that said 'it's temporary....', and 'it will pass....' kind of made it a little easier to deal with!

Good luck ;-)

this is such a great read. I can't tell you how m...

2010-04-05T13:51:43.098-07:00

this is such a great read. I can't tell you how many times I have thought of packing up and leaving. It gets to the point that it isn't even worth staying. We were so in love before she got pregnant. She is on her 19th week and I have dealt with a crazy person every single week. I am now sleeping on the couch. I don't want to be around her anymore because I can see the resentment in her eyes. I think if she were to tell me to leave I would and not look back. After reading all of these replys, I have decided that I will stay and see what happens but I WILL NEVER forget this. I will NOT have another one as it is a LIFE of hell.

oh wow i was dying laughing reading these. i am gl...

2010-03-10T09:38:22.059-08:00

oh wow i was dying laughing reading these. i am glad to know that im not really "crazy" or "psycho" as the boyfriend calls me.. nope just pregnant. i knew there was something just not right. i loved this man of everything about him not too long ago.. just been trying to figure out what her happened between now and then because now i cant stand him. the very sight of him makes me want to cry with frustration. the way he laughs annoyes me the way he talks. everything that comes out of his mouth just seems ignorant. at this point im like do i really see myself marrying this man and being with him forever? FOREVER.. the thought makes me wanna hurl. im so disgusted by the little things that never seemed to bother me before like his morning breath or the way he chews his fond and the way he puts his clothes in the dryer before he wears them because he is too lazy to iron. and the list goes on. just glad to know this feeling will go away soon and maybe i wont have to be a single mom after all.

The wrath of hormone loaded lady is very hard to t...

2010-02-24T20:03:46.113-08:00

The wrath of hormone loaded lady is very hard to take if you lack the understanding. this does not mean it is any easier for the knowledgable fathers to be.
I am a father of one with the second on the way.This time round I have a totally different lady to handle. She yells at me at any slightest opportunity. she stress at work, finacial pressures, delay in the subway, and am always being taken for the infamous quilt trip; like am not considerate, I dont care about her, her family, etc.

The worst that makes me wanna hit the roof, she keeps comparing me with some friends of her's. I have tried to hold the madness in me coz I would sure tell her to go have a baby with one ofthem and see if it would change tables;
all the best be strong AMIGOS!!!

Thank goodness I found this site! I was seriously...

2010-02-23T07:19:20.534-08:00

Thank goodness I found this site! I was seriously ready to leave my pregnant girlfriend. Before she got pregnant she was perfect, I felt so lucky to be with someone like her. We were both happy when we find out she was pregnant and I was thinking this was going to be great (naive I know). Then about a month into the pregnancy the morning sickness hit and it hit bad. From that moment on there was no one she hated more than me. I do everything I can, clean up around the house, taking her out to eat, (I got her a pregnancy massage for Valentines day) yet it only calms her down for a few hours.

And the worse part of all, NO INTIMACY!!. And I mean nothing, no kissing, no touching, no cuddling and definitely NO SEX! She is half way through the pregnancy and we have not had sex in two months. Combined that with the fact she is now an evil thoughtless b*$#! I am trying my best not to snap. I am so miserable I feel like such a punk taking her crap everyday but I will swallow my pride for the babies sake. That doesnt mean I will EVER forget this. If I had known it would be like this we would never have kids. Truth be told I dont even really like her anymore but I love her if that makes sense. It will be a cold day in you no where before we have another kid together.

Hey Anon - Just hang in there mate - my wife was...

2010-02-19T23:35:10.879-08:00

Hey Anon -

Just hang in there mate - my wife was a lunatic the first 3 months - I felt like she could blow at any minute. She screamed at me so loud in the kitchen one morning that she gave herself a nose-bleed.(think I'd forgotten to take out the rubbish, or something else equally important!)

I just had to go and sit in the car and ask a close friend of my wife's to call her. The sofa and going for walks at odd times were my friends in the first 3 months!

And then the switch flicked - within a day or so around the 3 month mark, in her eyes I suddenly became some sort of angel that could do no wrong, and it's stayed that way since.

I think on top of the hormones going crazy, and their body changing, there's probably a lot of fear there to start with, worrying about the future, but then after 3 months for me it's been heaven!

We're having really good fun now together, feeling the baby kick together and it's a wonderful experience.

I never, ever, ever want those 3 months again - I'm seriously considering moving out for the first 3 months of the next pregnancy, I thought I'd end up dead at some points ;-)

Every pregnant woman can be different though - just hang in there mate, deep breaths, walks, cycling, whatever you can do to get out for 20 minutes till it's calmed down ;-)

omg this is so crazy becuase as i was reading this...

2010-02-19T15:00:01.231-08:00

omg this is so crazy becuase as i was reading this i got smacked 2 times for no reason and yelled at too ... im so mad right now all i want to do is blow up like i wanna go crazy ... im a great guy i work hard every day and come home to her and this is how she acts every day ... and this is only her 6th week ... wat am i gunna do i hate being hit and yelled at for no reason wat should i do ...

reading this makes me feel alot better and alot wo...

2010-01-13T16:49:09.425-08:00

reading this makes me feel alot better and alot worse! haha right now i am crazy with hormones and the tinest thing upsets me to make matters worse because of visa problems my boyfriend is on the other side of the world. Even though its not his fault and i love you more that anything im so angry that hes not here to deal with my crazyness and i have to do it alone!

Sorry - forgot to subscribe to thread so I've adde...

2009-11-20T03:55:11.929-08:00

Sorry - forgot to subscribe to thread so I've added this with the 'Email Follow Up Comments' box checked

- just disregard this one,
;-)

My wife is seriously freaking me out. I'm sure I'...

2009-11-20T03:53:23.206-08:00

My wife is seriously freaking me out. I'm sure I'll get used to the fluctuations - one moment professing her undying admiration of my qualities as a man, a person and a child of nature...the next...well, you all know the flipside I suppose?

I need to extend my 'count to ten' technique to about 35 or 40 maybe...

Testing ! ;-)

Good luck all you lucky men. And remember - we are lucky. We've already had one miscarriage which was awful. So to be in the situation where you have the golden opportunity of being yelled at is truly a priviledge.

I think!

I am 24 weeks pregnant and I have always been a st...

2009-08-30T17:18:54.456-07:00

I am 24 weeks pregnant and I have always been a strong woman, but hormones tend to take over ay rational thought in my mind. I get so angry at my boyfriend I want to rip his head off. I really don't know why. It could be that I am on bed rest and he assume that because I am Latina pregnancy should come easy to me. I hat loosing my independence and I feel like an alien has taken my body hostage. It is making me look like a house and doesn't let me sleep, walk and sometimes even breath. The worst days are when my BF drinks because I think is so selfish of him to do that, but I know deep down he needs a break. I just can't comprehend it. Once I get going, I start throwing things and calling him names. I can see myself acting psychotic, but it is like an out of body experience. I am not in control of myself. I know all the reasons why we are going through this up and downs, but it is so overwhelming. I feel that this should be a time for us to bond and prepare ourselves for parenthood, but it seems like the pregnancy is pulling us apart.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years....

2009-08-30T15:56:11.106-07:00

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He means the world to me and honestly through it all he is the greatest person in my life. However, I think his fear of becoming a first time father has clouded his whole train of thought. A month after I found out I was pregnant, he bought a dog, now no I am not the poster child for animal planet or anything but I do like animals. The main issue I am having is that he wants the dog but won't take care of her. We live in a one bedroom apartment and neither of us are home. We both work full-time and the dog has to remain indoors. Grossly, he won't even house train her properly so there is constantly dog poo everywhere that he will leave sitting for days. In the 5 months of having the dog he hasn't taken her to the vet or given her any worm medicine. He only walks her when he feels like it but complains when I don't. I am sorry but she weighs 40 pounds and I am 7 months pregnant I see too much risk walking her. Also, he bought a car and a new laptop I see it as him trying to create more responsibilities for himself instead of dealing with the one at hand. He hasn't bought anything for the baby except for one time.

At times he lashes out at me calling me an a**hole and has even told me since I got pregnant I have become unbearable and just a horrible person period. He has even told me to get out on several occasions. He spends a great deal of time with his friends and sometimes the first thing he says when he walks in the door from work is how he is going out. He has one of his single friends staying with us and honestly the friend is putting a strain on our relationship.

His friend doesn't help with groceries, household items or anything. He doesn't clean up after himself and causes more expenses than helps keep them down.

I just don't get it, he never use to be this way, I know my hormones and the stress I have been under during this pregnancy has made me kind of difficult to get along with at times but he isn't making it any easier. I consciously try to make efforts to show him how great I think he is and how much I appreciate him only to get shrugged off. I have literally begged him to go to doctor's appointments but he has only been to 2.

He was never like this before I got pregnant. Up until this pregnancy he was so wonderful and when he wants to be he still is. Its just I don't know what to do he does things like stay out all night or ignore me then acts like I am in the wrong or accuses me of stuff and when I tell him he is wrong he argues and tries to accuse me of lying or doing stuff purposely.

If this was something that had been going on since the beginning I would know what to do but because he comes out of nowhere with most of it I am at a loss.

What do I do?

Hi all, I'm working overseas at moment and my part...

2009-08-22T05:06:36.217-07:00

Hi all, I'm working overseas at moment and my partner has returned to UK with twins due in January 2010. I'm so happy we are having twins, was almost crying when we got 1st scan done.

I am understandably gutted we are apart at moment (pregnant singles not acceptable in middle east - get put in jail).

I'm doing the job to pay bills/loans and so my family have a good life in future with financial stability.

My Partner is now no longer taking my calls or replying to my SMS messages all she does is sms message me now & again to say she wants nothing to do with me anymore, saying we are over.

I am so happy to be going to be a Father and understand she has got hormones going crazy but I'm really struggling with stress and worry about my relationship with my partner and my kids.

I love my partner to bits and want noone else. I just want a happy family. Any thoughts/advice on above and best things to do would be really appreciated?

my girl is almost three months and she is withdrwa...

2009-08-15T02:04:52.898-07:00

my girl is almost three months and she is withdrwan from me...before we were all lovely dovie...been together for a year...hardley fought...a good relationship...no one ever told me this is how women act when they become pregnant...worse my mom says she was stable with me and my brother when she was pregnant...i have atleat 6 months left...this stuff is hard...wish someone would have told me something about how pregnant women can act...its like haveing a bi polar girlfriend

OMG! Thank you SO much for this blog! I am 13 week...

2009-07-30T13:46:25.703-07:00

OMG! Thank you SO much for this blog!
I am 13 weeks pregnant and I can't stand the sight of my boyfriend. The way he eats, looks, his aura. it is the craziest thing I have ever experienced. One day, I felt happy and okay with him, the next, he's on my blacklist for the worlds worst human being. what is happening to me. I don't know. Can't rationalize it but I have come to accept it's my hormones and we're talked about it. doing better but now I just don't react or act out whatever thoughts I have whether it's kicking him out of the house or telling him i want him to make over his entire being. he's so sweet. he puts up with me. god bless him. yes, i feel tired, out of breath, anxious one moment, angry the next, happy for 2 seconds and we have a 15 month old already to take care of so YES, this really put the "Adult" part in the relationship for people to actually start working on. To see passed the hormones and crazy thoughts and realize that they're only hormones. what an endeavor. thank you for this!

Oh my goodness- I'm normal!!! Im 14weeks with #2 a...

2009-07-12T11:34:48.339-07:00

Oh my goodness- I'm normal!!! Im 14weeks with #2 and my husband and everyone at work is a idiot- no not really but I have no patience or sympathy when pregnant. My husband does get one benefit (I guess) my sex drive goes through the roof and that he doesnt manage to screw up!

As a pregnant woman I can tell you we feel underappreciated, overworked, fat, unattractive, and all in all miserable. Our breast hurt, our backs hurt, our feet and legs swell and it is all worth it in the end- we just seem to loose track of that.

P.S. If you are a first time dad- you will normally get your loving caring wife back just dont except it overnight- takes up to 6 months for some women to calm down. To hubbies everywhere- thank you for sticking in there you are appreciated.

Go have a beer with some buddies when she lays int...

2009-06-25T20:23:04.156-07:00

Go have a beer with some buddies when she lays into you. It worked for Archie Bunker. Hell, it's probably how neighborhood bars got their start. Go spend time with friends and family if your at your wits end. Her moods are going to change constantly. I know, it sucks but it's just what women do. Go have a beer. Take a taxi if you have a few. Stay safe and talk with friends and family. My wife is 7 weeks pregnant and it's our second.

in the middle of May, my fiancee` proposed to me. ...

2009-06-25T12:07:21.106-07:00

in the middle of May, my fiancee` proposed to me. The girl to the guy. She was so in love with me that she wanted to be my wife for ever. We had both had failed relationships, and knew that we wanted to be married and raise a family. I have no children, she has 3 of her own. We decided to set a quick date. June 27th 2009. So, come to find out around the first Monday in June, she tells me we are pregnant, and so we figured it had to happen on the day she proposed to me. She was nervous, but still so happy. I came home from work, she took me into the bedroom and, grabbed my hand, laid on the bed and pulled my head close, kissed me deeply, looked into my eyes, "I love you so much, we are having a baby. You are going to be a daddy". Everything was perfect. Before that point we had only been actually together for a couple of months, but have known eachother really well for quit some time before that. We both were deeply in love with each other. Now, Today, June 25th, 2 days before our wedding, she can't stand anything about me. She is 6 weeks in. Prior to getting pregnant, she told me we would have to be careful, because she is worried that if she gets pregnant, she may resent me as she did her ex, to the point where she left him. Now she is right there. Hates the way I walk, breath, eat popsicles. EVERYTHING. Doesn't like my personality. We are getting married in two days, and all she wants to do is run away. She is going thru with the marriage because she needs the insurance from my job. So she says. Then, Saturday night last week, she tells me calmly how sorry she is for how she has been. How much she loves me and more than anything wants to marry me and spend the rest of our lives together. Next morning, she hates me more than a child hates the dentist. I love this woman more than I ever thought possible. I am scared she will never be back to the same. This can't be normal, is it? How can I not take it personally. She told me this may happen, but now it is like she doesn't even know that it is something she knew would happen and warned me about. She said the other night it would go away when she was back to being in love with me. But now she doesn't realize it is just the hormones, but more that I am everything she despises in life. Will she return? Is this just the hormones, or will we live a loveless marriage? Has anyone gone thru this and come out closer than before, or at least like it once was? Holy Crap help.

thanks everyone for the advice. My girlfriend is 6...

2009-05-12T12:01:00.000-07:00

thanks everyone for the advice. My girlfriend is 6 weeks along and I'm already thinking we'll be seperated before the birth. She is so crazy and insulting I don't know how much I will take. She is so moody she is happy to her friends and family but treats me like trash. I am really worried she'll never get back to normal. I've always wondered how men can leave their kids and family only see them every other weekend. Now I see why. It does not look good from here. Is it normal to see such crazy signs
This early?

Ok. My fiance and I have known each other for yea...

2009-04-22T03:18:00.000-07:00

Ok. My fiance and I have known each other for years. We were best friends in the Marine Corps and then more than that after. She wanted me to quit my job making 150k a year in Iraq to come home to her. So I did. She got pregnant. Now it's my fault that I quit my job and it's hard to find a new one. Then I got a new job, and it's my fault for not starting yet. She calls names, and doesn't liked being touched...so I dont touch her, then she gets mad when I dont touch her...she gets mad if I dont drive her to work, she gets mad if I do...and the list can go on and on. I really don't know what to do anymore....She wants me to leave now, because she doesn't want anything to do with me. I'm sorry honey, doesn't work, but the truth is, I have no where to go now. She said she will want to leave me if I dont go to counseling (sp) with her. SO, I go, and the counselor points out that she needs to send more attention my way...and pretty much it's not all about her....well she forgets that, and when I get moody because of the way she is acting, she throws the counceling in my face. Was the counceling just a way to hold something against me? I'm not sure anymore...but she says I have until the time she gets home to leave. Please help!!!!
-Confused in D.C.