The word "dealing" is the best term for it. You are trying to make things the best you can, but can only "deal" with the repercussion of any minor discrepancies or inconveniences that come along the way. Meaning, when shes pissed, you are the first one to hear about it, and from that, just absorb it and smile!

My wife is in the very early parts of pregnancy and I dont think she is eating the correct things. Like a fool I mentioned it and now she has blown a gasket. Are men just supposed to sit by and say nothing about what they eat?

My thing is that my girlfriend says I am unsupportive to her and I seem to not be able to find the words to sooth her. I take care of things around the house, rub her back every night, tell her I love her and think she is beautiful, but find that's not helping any advice??

I really don't know what to say. I am 17 weeks, and I know what I feel and think is irrational, and I try to curb it, but sometimes it gets out. Your blog has me convinced my husband is a saint. I think I am going to put in his nomination today. Honestly, I believe this is why my boobs got so big. It was God's way of saying, "Look, your wife is going to be miserable for the next nine months. Here are some new toys to distract you."

I just want my wife to realize that you can only do one thing at a time. And what will get done will get done and we cannot control everything. She is a lunatic.

As it turns out, my wife loves me but hates living with me because she cleaned my bathroom yesterday. This is the first house chore she has performed in 4 months. I have done everything I can to be a good husband (including finishing the basement to make more room for baby) and nothing is good enough. I'm at the point og giving up and not talking to her. I'm tired of being beaten up psychologically.
I know this is more of a light-hearted comment board, but her lack of sanity has really put a strain on our marriage. Any advice?

This is our third child.My wife is now 6 months. She has me convinced that she will be leaving with our children and moving out as soon as she finds a job and an apartment. It may sound funny but I am in hell and fear of her actually doing it. Our first pregnancy had quite a few moments of irrational behavior but nothing to the extremes of this. I guess my question is how do I know if what she is saying is truth or pregnancy talking? Do I just sit idoly by and watch her make moves that would destroy what we have built. I understand what she is looking down the barrel of.I am sure she feels traped and yes I have told her that I understand in a supportive way, with kid gloves.Someone told me with our first child that it took her Nine months to get their so it might take nine months to get her back.Maybe i just need somewhere to vent this nonesense to.

This is me and girlfriend first child together she already has four other children by some one else.I need help with dealing with her hormones . I CANT do nothing right.I cant say the right things.I already have a son by another woman but the things i am going therew in this pregnancy is so crazy,she just told me to today to get out because I forgot it was one of her children birthdays and i had to go to the bathroom so she got mad at me and said thats my baby.The night before she did not come home because she did not feel like talking to me.I love her children a hole lot I Treat them like my own, that made me feel bad she just said what about me. What I am not suppose to have any feelings. I am just so tired I do not know if I if am coming or going. I so stressed I not know to do with my self .SHE IS GETTING ON MY LAST NERVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to leave but my heart is here with her the children and the baby on the way.What am i suppose to do in this situation? I need help

Hi Bill

Let me say I think this is just great that you are trying to help these men get through this. And guys... its nice to know that there are some out there that want to help and understand what uis women are going through.

I am 12 weeks pregnant with my first child. The father and I were in our first month of dating when I found out. We had our disagreements on what to do about this but thats beside the point. I am mildly bipolar but I take a low dose of medicine and I gotta tell ya it makes everything better and I feel like the person I am inside. Now that I am pregnant I seem to be losing grip on coping with anything or even giving my man the slightest freedom. Okay wait let me explain. I love to drink so I told him he cant be drinking during this time or I will leave him because I dont want to make a bad choice because he is being an idiot. I have issues with the things he says and he has already had a child with another woman so everything he tries to tell me about my pregnancy just feels like a slap in the face. These things wouldnt bother me so much if he could stop to realize that I am confused and feel bad enough that Im thinking irrationally I dont need to be told about it to or have him get mad that I bitch about things. I dont tell him what to do but bitching just helps get it out sometimes. I dont feel like he is sensitive to the way I am feeling or even tries to understand although he says "ive already have a kid i know what your going through". If you have any advice for me to try to get him to understand why I am acting so much different, and how to deal with it then that would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you very much for helping and letting me rant lol.

Hey my name is aaron-

My future wife and I are both currently deployed to iraq. We found out she was prego about 2 weeks ago... After reading everyone's posting in here I would like to say thank you to all.

I guess the things that im going through arn't out of the norm. I am glad that she is being irrational because that seems to say things are going well haha. How F-ed up does that sound.

I also feel like a stronger man knowing that i can cope with these stress and being deployed to iraq at the same time! HOOAH DAD

My husband and I are in a "blended" family and this is "our" first pregnancy, but our fifth child together. My husband is a physician and our differences stem from his not knowing how to "punch out". Physicians are trained to now get emotionally involved with patients and sometimes my husband does just that with me. I am 8+ months pregnant and an on the verge of getting preeclampsia which might result in an induction delivery. When I told my husband about the date my doctor picked out, he immediately became upset because it was an "inconvenience" with his work schedule. That HURT me deeply and I just cannot understand how he oould possible feel this way. I am 42 years old and this pregnancy has been difficult, but the stresses of being a doctor's wife are indefinite. How can a father and husband NOT know when to put his family first? In addition, whenever we have an argument lately, he threatens me with "finding someone else". Is this normal for a man to react? He also questions my doctor's and my decisions based on what he THINKS is right from his LIMITED EXPERIENCE. He is NOT an OB/GYN and my first mistake was to think he knew a lot about pregnancy -- he knows just about as much as my 11-year-old son!!! How can I get his attention? Crying does not even phase him a bit.

Is it possible for husband and pregnant wife when they have an important problem or considerations to address together, to enjoy an open, patient, intelligent and polite talk? It does not matter would the problem be resolved or not. What really matters is that by talking in a civil way they would feel good about each other and both of them - and nobody would needlessly feel hurt. It is almost impossible.

What I deal with from time to time is twisted truth, overreactions and horrible statements about me, making me feel that my lovely pregnant wife (see the post above) does not respect my efforts to help her and us to go throughout pregnancy. She makes me feel like I am the worst person on the world. This painful outbursts of emotional supernovas erupting from my wife usually happen when she is challenged in her statements, opinions or requests. The most painful to me is when she distorts the truth and when she says I am selfish, jerk, crazy, liar, uncaring and more censored examples of her hurtful statements to me or even worse - about me to others. Of course, so humiliated by person I truly love and give to, I wonder why she is with me. I told her that I am doing my best and could not do more - and If she believes what she feels or says I am not the right person for her. I also wonder where I find energy to endure such emotional pain.

Shortly - my wife sometimes speaks and acts irrationally and I hope and believe it is mainly pregnancy related. Fortunately it does not happen often and it looks like open communication helps on the long run.

To you guys here going through the same, please remember - you are not only one going through this - or even worse: Bite your tongue (small piece at the time - you will need some for later) wash dishes, do laundry and grocery, make meals, clean the house, take care of kids and give a lot of time and attention to your lovely wife and then if any time left, do something fun for you (I run). If she insults you please do not take it to the heart. It really does not matter who is right - your wife is pregnant and let her be right and wait for mother nature to take care of the rest and then enjoy your child and the best of your wife :)!

I know this Blog is for men...but I am at a loss. I am only a mere 7 weeks pregnant. Baby is due 2 months before our wedding. I COMPLETELY understand that my fiance is nervous and stressed out by this. (I am stressed as well). We both just started new careers, he is starting up his company (and I work 7 days a week - some for 3 hours other for 12). My issue is that EVERYTHING he says is negative. He just started his company, so things are slow for him right now (as for bringing home money - currently I am paying most of the bills). Every positive step he makes with work, I tell him how proud I am of him and that things are really going to start taking off now etc....but he returns that with a negative comment (It's still too slow etc). I continuously tell him that he needs to think positive as negative thinking attracts negative energy. This last week, all I hear from him is "I'm broke and I have a baby on the way" "Why does life have to throw all of this at me all at once" "Why couldn't we have been married before getting pregnant". Then last night his best friend was over saying he felt nasuia and that he had a head ache and a back ache. I started laughing...and said "so do I"...and he said "oh oh - I'm having sympathy pains for you" So I told them that actually, there are men who do have sympathy pains for women and experience some of the same symptoms as their spouse. His reaction was "Do you actually think that by some miricle a man will feel the same symptoms as a women when she's pregnant - Could it actually be that he is stressed out which is why he is puking and eating more - not actually having sympathy pains". I just looked at him and shook my head. I know that it most likely is that reason, but again - completely negative.

I try to be positive, not cry, hold myself together. (I am already an emotional person but have been acting dead not showing when Iam upset. I don't cry at home), Be there for him and what he is going through - but how the heck do I kick him in the head and say "I need someone there for me - I'm the one who is pregnant" with out being a b****.

I told him this morning that all he is doing is being negative, it doesn't feel like he wants this baby and that I am frusterated that he doesn't touch me. No sex, no hug and barely a kiss.

Please someone tell me, I am begging, how I am supposed to cope and deal with this?

you can email me at jenn_emlau@hotmail.com if you like

I really appreciate it

As I read these blogs, it does make me feel better that I'm not alone when it comes to an emotional pregnant woman. However, my problem came before my fiancee got pregnant, it just amplified with the pregnancy.

I love her to death and her 15 month daughter from a previous relationship. I am more of a dad than her birth father, who wants nothing to do with her. Yet, this guy seems to have done everything right during the whole pregnancy and then walked out 6 weeks later on fathers day.

I have a 14 yr old from my first marriage that lives with us because her mom is deceased. My fiancee doesn't seem to have the patients with a teenager and my daughter is not getting the attention she needs, especially from me with spending all my time with my fiancee's daughter, now shes upset another baby will take away what attention she might get.

My fiancee says I'm not spending enough time with her, not being supportive and want to argue with her all the time (we do seem to fight a lot). She is a month pregnant and for the past 5 months she just complains about everything I do or say, now its 4X worse. I try to talk reasonable with her, she takes what I say the wrong way or I say nothing at all. She gets mad at all of it. Whenever I try to explain myself, she says, "It's all about you and no one else", than threatens to leave because she doesn't care anymore. I could go on, but I think this is enough to see where I'm coming from.

I have always put others before me and still do with my fiancee. Hardly get time to myself, which is ok with me when it comes to my family (just as I did with my first wife). So there comes times when I feel unappreciated and attacked for doing my best (which lately I feel is not enough to make her happy) and the argueing is wearing on both of us. I bite my tongue so much, but there are times when I slip if I feel like she is attacking me and I defend myself (which is where she claims I want to argue), not to mention she tells her family and co-workers everything making me feel like I am a horrible man.

I never had this issue with my first wife. So this is all new to me and I am worried as to the outcome, for all of us. Especially her and the babies well being, I'm so confussed and stressed as to what is the right thing. I go to the gym from 1 to 2 hrs 5 days a week (if I can), the rest of the time I am never alone or always have something to do. Yes, I don't get much sleep and not much of an appetite.

So; what and how do I make things better? or she will walk out.

My wife and I am expecting our first child in two months. My wife has been pretty much miserable the complete time. No matter what I do or say never really helps. I feel all the information supplied from web sites and leaflets justify the behaviour. Stating its hormones and my wife cant help herself for feeling this way. My wife reads all this and feels that acting as she has is normal.Reading the accumulative accounts of thousands of pregnant women problems and behaviour. Frankly this "dealing with it" is affecting our marriage. If I moaned and self obsessed about every part of my body this past seven months I am positive I`d be on the street.

I turn 34 this month, and my "friend" is pregnant with what would be my first child. I say "friend" because I'm pretty sure she broke up with me. Right now, I really don't know what's going on or what to think. She has two children already, and she told me a couple of days ago (in a moment of sanity) that she doesn't hate me, it's just hormones.

We have a very young relationship, and weren't planning to have a child. We disagreed about what to do about the pregnancy (which is one of my fatal flaws), but I have tried to be supportive, and I have done quite a bit of biting my tongue already. I believe now that, in my ignorance, I have done a miserable job of that. I had gotten used to her getting mad at me about every three days, and her saying she was done with me, but we are in a whole different ballgame now!

In my frustration, I turned to the wise sage of Google search (for "dealing with pregnant women") and found this blog. I am greatly encouraged by the other posts, and I would like to offer my bit of advice to others:

Do NOT listen to her if she tells you not to do participate or contribute in something for her, or if she tells you that she doesn't need you to do something! I made the mistake of thinking that she needed to prove something to herself or to me. Do everything you can for her, and let her reject it if she chooses. You will be MUCH better off with a record of doing things that she doesn't like, than with not being there for her!

Unfortunately, I have trained myself in logic with math, computers, and business. I thought that if she would be mad at me either way (which seems to be the case nowadays), I'd prefer that she be mad at me for something I didn't do, so I felt justified.

...at my age, I don't often feel clueless.

I do love her and her children, and I will try to do better.

I just think that pregnant women are ridiculous and you cannot do anything about it. My girlfriend is close to 7 months and she explodes at me if I say something she finds remotely offensive (any woman especially a pregnant one can be offended by pretty much anything)But when I just stop talking to her she yells at me for not paying attention to her and then when I talk to her she yells at me for pretty much everything I say. She gave me the whole : Ii wish there was some way for me to show you what I am going through so you can understand" speech. In my opinion living with a pregnant woman is probably almost as bad as being pregnant. I am ridiculously supportive, nice, and caring and I just get it thrown back in my face. She stresses about everything even though she doesn't need to. Pregnancy just somehow gives women a free pass and they think that they can do what they want and thats outrageous.

This is my first time opening up to anyone about my relationship type issues. The problem I'm having is that her and I have known each other for many years and dated off and on during that time. Currently we are not "together" but still really care for one another. She is still in the first trimester and everything just seems the same ..... and that's where the problem is. She has always been kinda touch and go on the whole communication issue. Now i just look like a complete ass when she gets all emotional and I just act normal. I'm at wits end on what to do. Any advice i could get can only help.

Dear MEN,
I am currently a "crazy" pregnant lady, 11 weeks. I got in a fight with my boyfriend, and came out hear to find this along with the google search "how the F@&# do i deal with this pregnant woman"...if any of you are wondering the same question here is a small list off the top of my head at 3:30 am....
1) If she is already being crazy...WHY ARGUE more with her...trust me you are NOT getting any "righter" or "winning" anything by doing this...you at that point are either asking for tears or a cell phone to the head.
2) The ONLY reason she is yelling at you and being mean to YOU is because you are her "safe" place. You should feel flattered that she believes in you and your relationship enough to unload all of her pistivity onto you. TRUST me you hurt the ones you love, shitty but true! ( I want to refer to something my dad says quiet often its the Fu@@ing you get for the FU@$ing you gave/got)
3)Be the guy from the movies if you are at all capable. Try holding her after sex(even if that wasn't her style before *HINT *HINT)When she says something like I am being a pain, or Gosh maybe I am being too demanding....DO NOT AGREE WITH HER...OMG...She is going thru one of the biggest events in her life, if she is in the mood for pancakes and it is 3 in the afternoon...don't make her feel stupid. :( I hope some of this is helpful, and I hope that it eventually reaches the right ears....Night everyone, and good luck!

wow.... and I thought I was an insensitive horrible person. thanks for the advice from all, specificly Pinkie. I now realize she is pregnant and going through alot and its not that she hates me for doing this to her...really it both our faults. I will now put on my patience pants and go home (she says the baby wants Pizza) Keep my comments positive and help her as much as I can.
Really this did help my attitude. Pregnancy is hard

My girlfriend will be 10 weeks tomorrow and she just left me 4 days ago. She grabbed up all of her things and left. We have known eachother for several years and have always had something between us, but we were only dating for 2 months when we found out she was pregnant. At that time, she told me that she was so in love with me and that she was glad that it was me she was in this situation with. We were both very excited, and for the first two weeks it brought us soo close that I lost any fear for what is coming. But then, she spent a whole week treating me like she hated everything about me. I was starting to wonder if she even loved me anymore. Then on Monday she said that she doesn't think that we are meant to be together and that she would spend a night at her moms so we could think about things. The next day I picked her up and the first thing she did was appologize for being so emotional lately and said she loves me very much and really wants us to do this whole thing together. The next day, I got home from work and she said she was leaving me. I literally begged her to stay. She told me that I was just being selfish and to stop feeling sorry for myself. I eventually agreed and told her to do what she thinks she needs right now and to call me when she wants to. I still haven't heard from her.

Every person I know has been just astounded at how patient and understanding I've been, but now she just doesn't want me around. What do I do? Will she come around and want me back?

I have always handled the bills and finances and all of a sudden at 7 months pregnant she is comlaining and yelling about everything and wants in on the finances. She is worried about money and paying bills when the baby gets here and is crying about it. I told her I would continue handling them and she should not worry but she says she can't. She says that I am going to resent her when the baby is here because she can't work and money will be tight. I have never shown to be that type of person and yes I am worried about money but I feel that is my position of a soon to be father to take care and bear the burden. I am at my wits end....

Baby number 4 is on the way. You would think I'd have this down by now. She is a little more emotional with this one. Don't know if maybe because she is a little older and the body handles it differently.?. Two days ago I was the best husband in the world. Today I am ruining our lives. A little concerned since we are in the middle of 2nd trimester right now. 3rd is going to be scary.