Pregnant woman = designated driver ~ Almost a dad

Pregnant woman = designated driver

One of the minor, unexpected perks of being an expectant father is that you have a built-in, pre-determined designated driver.

I realized this earlier tonight when a friend and new father (congratulations, Joad and Sarah!) offered me a beer. Alison was unable to drink on account of being all sorts of pregnant, so yes, I would love a beer.

There are a few considerations for your indentured driver. First, if you drink too much you will look extra sloppy on account of her being completely sober. Second, her hormones may cause her to detest you for any drunkenness or social behavior which may cause misgivings about your suitability as a parent. Third, she will tire more easily and will want to leave a social environment before you do so you may not be able to drink for very long.

Otherwise, in moderation, enjoy!


Jack said...

Drinking for three.

Yeah, so there's the fact she'll drive, want to leave earlier than you, but also... you've got to cover for her.

Try going to a party before you tell everyone, and you have to cover for her... That means you drink her drinks. So that's drinking for two (normally, but now it's three)

Anonymous said...

I live vicariously through my husband. When we go to dinner, I demand that he order a long island ice tea. I know its one of his favorite and therefore he will enjoy it while I sit there and sip on my lame O'douls...In the mean time, my wine fridge is being stocked weekly with a new addition to enjoy-er with others of course-when the baby is born!

Anonymous said...

I am 33 weeks pregnant and absolutely hate my drunk boyfriend. He thought he had himself a designative driver for several months and thought this was great.

I found out he disgusts me with his sloppiness, clumsiness, slurring and the dopey look in his red glassy eyes and especially the stupid things that come out of his mouth. I think seeing him drunk WAY too many times, while I'm sober, really has opened my eyes on how ugly and weak he can be.

I have asked/demanded him that he gives up alcohol for the 3rd trimester in case anything goes wrong and I need a driver to the hospital, but he is weak and a borderline alcoholic in my mind because this is an ongoing problem and he has resorted to hiding his drinking and lying about it.

I wish I could reverse roles and I get to get plastered while he had to stay sober for 9 months. This way he can see how incredibly annoying drunk people are to sober people. I'm not talking once in awhile in the 9 months. I'm talking 2-5 times a week!

I hate him and alcohol now and want him out of my life if he needs his drink. My son is not getting his last name anymore!

How is that for a crazy pregnant woman?! Just a warning if you abuse the fact you now have a designated driver, it may backfire on you.