Sometime between the fourth and fifth months of pregnancy your wife/ girlfriend/ baby-momma may become incredibly, somewhat annoyingly clingy to you. She will track your every move with the deftness of a bloodhound. She will be the human equivalent of a house-arrest ankle bracelet.

"What are you doing?" will be her mantra, even if you just answered her a few minutes before.

The key here is to be patient and communicative with her. Explain your plans to her as if she were your parole officer, because that's how she'll act. For example, if you're going out to mow the lawn, tell her what you're doing, how long it will take (always pad your estimate with extras, i.e., weed whacking) and check in on her a couple times during the process.

I was unaware of this phenomenon until I realized I felt guilty for ever leaving a room she was in. I felt as though I had been neglecting her whenever I wasn't within eyesight. The truth is, I don't mind. She's experiencing physical and hormonal changes which I can't possibly understand and a little bit of togetherness isn't the worst thing in the world. Just make sure you do have some time to yourself in the interest of preservation of sanity, and leave the room if you feel the need to yell or put your head through a wall to make the questions stop.

If you're not able to shake the round one who's following you around, try taking her to a movie. It's a great way to be together without having to listen to her.