Why pregnant women yell at you ~ Almost a dad

Why pregnant women yell at you

My wife yelled at me when I got home today because her bra strap was bothering her.

"Interesting, honey."

Clearly this was something for which I was responsible in crazy pregnant logic. I began wondering if crazy pregnant logic could be mapped to real life logic, and answer the ageless question of why pregnant women yell at fathers. So I asked that very question of some pregnant women, granted they were not within kicking or accurate throwing distance of my face or testicles.

If you're waiting for some clear cut way to avoid being yelled at by a pregnant woman, I'm sorry, it doesn't exist. You will most likely get yelled at for no reason. Just try and not explode and as one woman put it,

"Guys need to be instructed (early and often) to just reply 'Yes dear' and to say 'I love you' and 'You are so beautiful!' throughout the pregnancy."

In a recent question I posed on Yahoo! Answers, one woman said that"I just look at my boyfriend and want to smack him for no reason at all. And my man is the sweetest most gentle and loving guy in the world." You heard it guys, don't be sweet, gentle and loving.

Maybe try being a jerk? Well, another woman says she yells at her husband because "he'll do really selfish things like asking ME to get HIM something to eat while I'm laying down." Okay, no luck there.

How about trying to sneak beneath the radar and not get too extreme either way? Sounds good except for the multiple women who said that what made them yell was "him breathing." I kid you not.

It's basically inevitable that she will yell at you. Some reported remorse afterwards, but others sounded on the brink of murder.

A few excerpts of what women answered when asked why they yell at the fathers of their children during pregnancy:

1. "It's mostly hormonal for me. It's like all the little things that irritate me but I don't bother with get amplified when I'm pregnant and I can't ignore it.
2. "Him breathing...no seriously
3. "Its hormones I'm afraid you are gonna have to put up with it.
4. "When I was pregnant, I was irritated by my husband because of:
Everything he says
The way he acts
The way he breathes
They way he walks across a room
5. "He plays with his friends way too much for a married man and father!
6. "In my pregnancy I don't like my husband touching me, kissing me or having sex. I get irritable alot easier when he doesn't do things I ask...
7. "In my case it wasn't hormonal.......He was just an A**hole.

Too all you expectant fathers, good luck and stay safe.

228 comments:

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Anonymous said...

If something life changing happens to a father where unbearable pain is involved it wouldn't be right for us to be jerks to women, I'm just saying.

Anonymous said...

WOW im very impressed to hear how some of these men hav been so patient with there wifes or gf im 26 weeks pregnant and dealing with an un understanding husband i dnt think men realize how hard it is to be pregnant or how emotional and hurt we get with the incosiderate things u men say or do . i recently seen alot of pic of woman in my husbands phone and when i confronted him he harshfully says the reason he is looking at these other woman is bc i hav gained weight that was the worst thing u can ever hear pregnant i cried and yelled for so long and all he can ever tell me is i cant handdle the truth and need to learn how to control my hormones like theres an off and on switch ! I think the right thing to do is try and talk to ur partner in very delicate and sesitive way i knw its hard for some of u out there but remember u want to try hard nt to stress her out or make her cry cuz ur nt only doing it to her but to ur unborn child as well they can hear and feel everything we do ! godbless all of u and ur unborn children

alecs said...

HELP ME ANYONE PLEASE IM BEGGING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey I need some real serious help if anyone can give me some legit advise cause personally I feel like ive done everything I can possibly do to try and make this work for us... so heres my story .. my girlfriend is about 25 weeks now well we live together and we been arguing and fighting non stop .. but I hear all the time its my fault .. well she got sick of it and said she needs space well she decides to take her dad up on an offer and take a nannying position over in California yet we live in mass. So shes been their for about three weeks now and instead of getting space all we been doins is arguing we even broke up a few times...the reason she left is cause she said I wasnt showing her the love she needed or that I cared well now that shes gone ive showed her in so many ways how much she means to me I been balling my eyes for about a month and a half. Now and I never cry .. its bad ... im so in love with her and want this to work out not only for us but for our family .. she is blammimg me for everything and can never admit when shes at fault ... now she picks fights with me over everything I mean everything and says its all my fault ...like I was reminding her to call into unemployment tomorrow and she flipped a script on me.... I need help from anyone who can help me get threw this I dont wana lose the girl im in love with and my family before it even starts ... oh and I realize it has a lot to do with her hormones and that shes feeling two types of emotions at once ....I know its not really her but ANYONE THAT CAN HELP ME PLEASE HELP ME ... MY E-MAIL ADDRESS IS AESANDATE@GMAIL.COM

Anonymous said...

I'm late and my bf thinks I'm preg b.c HE didn't pull out a few time which im just now hearing about. I haven't even got a test yet but he said he wants abortion b.c it wasn't in our plan n we cnt afford it n i cnt want to b preg on my 21st bday. He's older than me n already has an 8yo daughter. I just cried he said its hormones. He was so sweet for a few days making bfast everyday. One day im cryin n say i want the baby he says same as b4 n leaves. Comes hm lays nxt to me but picks a fight ovr a pillow n says its his pillow if he dnt want me 2hv it i shuld give it bk n i wanna keep it i yelled get off me n he slept on tha couch. Hes been gone as much as possible an sleeps in tje guest rm when he does tlk to me its horrible. Hes gotten mad n grabbed me b4 so im worried. He said he'll kill the baby tht we should kill it an sell tha blood called me every bad name said hell stomp tha baby out my stomach but apologizes for every tiny bump since he found out. I told him it would hurt too much to hv another abortion n tht he can leave n nvr hear frm me but i wnt him to tlk 2me so i knw wut hes thinkin cuz im not sure even wut ill do i jus want to feel like he has an ounce of care to my feeling. This is when he started saying those things an now thinks i planned it n hell nvr leave me ta b here alone wit his baby cuz thts wut i want. Im so scared to take a test now weve beeb together 4yrs n i love him to death but i dnt knw if hes jus scared n angry n blames himself n dnt knw how to handle it or if im seein wut kind of man he rly is n should give up tryin to save our relationship regardless esp if im not even preg! Sry to ramble but im in terrible nd of advice an a guy view

Jenn 1376 said...

Hello. I am 11 1/2 weeks pregnant with my fiancee and love of my life.

I have 2 boys from previous marriage which he treats ad his own, the youngest (almost 7) was only a year when we got together, and called him daddy within 6 months, as the bio father is a dead beat. It's so cute how happy he was when called daddy that first time. He has been wanting a baby and I did not, until we had an "oops" where I miscarried last year. Suddenly I felt my baby was stolen from me, and out newly "mutual" wanting of a baby brought us even closer. I often wonder if I'm having a girl, as I wasn't hormonal with my boys, not even with an a hole ex! However, other than little spats, we get along well still, as my hormones are focused on my job 99% of the time. He is a sub contractor that makes his own hours, which helps. As for my job, that's where I feel violent, no joke. I want to quit and am seriously considering it, but I have always worked, I want to.... But I tell at my Co workers, I am a total bi+ch, and have very evil thoughts about customers (I work in a restaurant). I worry I will walk out , ruining references in the future, (literally had purse in hand fingers on the clock out screen twice in the last week alone), or say or maybe even do something ( not kidding about the violent thoughts, there are SEVERAL people I may punch in the face) to get fired...that being said I'm not a saint at home either, though I am much better. I DO wish that he was more directly supportive and understanding of me, but luckily, we are in a relatively safer boat than what I've read here. He goes to ultrasounds and we both leave happy....as for intimacy, I'm just not in the mood at the moment, and we can go 2 weeks and I don't notice- but he'll hint at that, and as long as I'm not feeling totally miserable, I do make up for it and feel bad that it's been a couple weeks. Really my main frustration is I don't feel he understands the overwhelming fatigue. I get nauseous in afternoons/evenings, and have been home more lately due to giving up a lot of shifts to avoid killing someone....yet when I'm tired and just want to lay in peace, I feel I can't, cuz gee has this weird daily need to nap as well, and though the boys are 6 and 12, I straws that if we both fall asleep, things won't get done. I just wasn't him to take like 3 afternoons each week and say" honey go rest, I'll help with homework and dishes" instead I get told I should rest, yet I can't if he's doing the same! That's my main frustration which I see I'm lucky compared to some, but also feel like I'm only asking for ONE thing, which seems very reasonable to me. I'm no saint and yes I have crazy moments, but never do we curse at each other, or take things to those levels. I do worry with his daily nap requirement how much I'll be doing when little one arrives....

Anyhow, great article here, and men just understand the hormones are real and rarely a permanent change, reading this I am glad that my hormones focus on work rather than home, and actually feel a bit better reading this.

Jenn 1376 said...

Ironically, in regards to fatigue, I have an update.
So Tuesdays he takes the boys to school then goes to work, I get to sleep in. Last night he said he did a load of laundry and asked me to put the clothes in the dryer away, and the clothes in the washer into the dryer, I said sure, he was going to bed. This was around 930 pm. I hadn't eaten anything all day due to feeling sick, so I heated up a piece of pizza and ate while watching TV. Then I checked on the boys, made sure their tv's were off, etc. I go to get the clothes and the dryer was still running. When it finished I folded and put the clothes away, but nothing was in the washer. Knowing he would be up before me I left a note saying I put the clothes away, but didn't see any in the wash and maybe mis heard heard him.
So at 7 am I get woken up to him telling me something about the damn clothes. I was half asleep and asked him "huh?" He then loudly says " I put the clothes in the dryer away since you decided to eat and watch TV instead, the ones you put away were the ones from the washer that I put in the dryer" uh ok - I said sorry I hadn't eaten and thought he went to bed. He then says not only did I not do that, but I didn't make or oldest soon's lunch. Duh, he's going on a field trip and getting lunch there. He is cranky as hell in the morning, and despite his nap and 9-11 hours of sleep, he wants me to feel guilty he's getting up. So I get up, as he well knows once I've had a conversation, especially a semi argument I can't sleep (insomnia issues). 45 minutes later, he says "you could have laid down" - I hate passive aggressiveness. If I could have laid down why the hell wake me to point out who put which load away? Unbelievable. He just got home and tells me I look tired (ya think?) And I should lay down. Guess what. I lay down, and sure enough he does too! Christ! Or son has to be picked up right about now, do I get up, and he says "I set the alarm" I said don't bother, it takes me awhile to Falk asleep, he can at the snap of the finger. So of course I'll go, hell stay asleep till God knows when, then I'll hear "I don't know why you don't just try to lay down" because I CAN'T. Ugh.

Anonymous said...

It's concerning that women feel justified acting out in this way because they're pregnant. No amount of personal discomfort gives cause to treat other people like shit. It sucks that they are having a bad experience and its our job to help them feel better, but they need to take some responsibility too and check themselves before hurting their loved ones over trivial things. I too was not warned of this and it's relieving to know I'm not alone. Its sucks though, I thought this would be a happy thing for us, I want my sweet girl back, and its only week 9.

Anonymous said...

thanks nice to not be alone in the world of doing everything wrong. I hope this gets better

Anonymous said...

Yes I am experiencing a psychotic 34 weeks pregnant woman. I think I know how to deal with it, which is something we forgot somewhere along the line of domestication. Granted I haven't tried this, only theory. Think caveman, don't take her shit, walk away, go make some money, chill with the boys. Keep it civil and ask what she needs, if she wants to blow up, walk away.

Anonymous said...

I love this blog. I'm 14 weeks and I am so fed up with feeling so disgusted of my guy. He is so good to me and everything I could ever ask for, but I just can't help the fact that he disgusts me so bad. Everything he does disgust me; eating, chewing, breathing, watching t.v., his smell. I know this has to be the pregnancy b/c obviously I had to love him since he knocked me up. lol. I'm so disgusted with him that I can't even remember what it feels like to like him. Sometimes I don't even think I love him. Can harmones really do all of that? I feel so bad deep inside that I feel like this, but I can't change this disgusted feeling. He doesn't even know I feel like this. I'm scared to tell him how I feel b/c I don't know if these are my real feelings or just the pregnancy. I just try very hard to be nice even though inside I feel sick to my stomach at the site and thought of him. Please somebody tell me if they went through this during pregnancy and it went away afterwards.

Anonymous said...

Its not always the hormones causing us to yell at our men, it could be their stupid behaviour.

Maybe spending all the $ on alcohol, smokes and 711 junk food so there is not enough money left to pay bills sends your pg woman in a rage.

How about playing xbox from the minute you get home from work to bedtime?

What about not preparing whatsoever for the impending birth and new family member and hoping "winging it" or "dealing with it when it comes" is the best thing to do.

My fav is when they do something they know is wrong but compare themselves to the biggest loser friend they have, and saying look how good I am: At least I don't do ______ (fill in the blank example: cheat, binge drink all month, run away from their child/pg girlfriend responsibilities)

Sometimes the men have to grow up and face reality that they are going to be fathers and not a sibling or playmate to the new baby.

For all you men trying to understand their pg woman and doing their best to get through the true crazy hormonal raging, all the best to you and thank you from us all!

For the boys, like my man, GROW UP or GO AWAY (but don't forget the child support payments at the door)

PreggoNPissy said...

I'm almost ten weeks pregnant and I have been annoyed, easily angered, and all these things that I really don't want to or like to be. I was so considerate and sweet and my bf and I felt so happy together. Now I just want to say nasty things and keep telling him it's not working and he needs to go. Wtf... Why? I am mad at myself for it. I can't wait for this pregnancy to be over so I can feel like me again.

Anonymous said...

annonymus

Thanx for the blog....am on my first month bt alredy am loosing my mind....mostly changes in ma body makes me hate the father of my unborn child....yestay at work at was worse i was ivin shouting at my boss likely he knws am preg ...he just laghed and left....well thanx alot i now knw that am not alone...good luck to new dads!

Flyaway said...

I am the mother of 4 children ... Now 51 and both my daughters are pregnant. Reading this from a mans point of view and from my age now cracks me up! I went thru all this and remember the feelings and see my daughters doing it as we'll....I'm sorry but I can say its funny reading. You guys are awesome... Keep trying. Do the best you can cause you will never regret the changes your wife/girlfriends are going thru to create this whole other person will be worth the pain! Ladies... I know the feelings are intense! Looking back I wish I had blogged ... I'm sure I would get a kick out of it now ...PS... We divorced

Anonymous said...

my wife has gone nuts and she is 6 weeks pregnant. she's crying her head off and saying she wants a divorces and is blaming me for being a crap husband. Initially I got annoyed but then I tried being nice but she doesn't give a shit. Its as if she hates me.

Anonymous said...

I am not sure we're preggers as I have not known my girl for longer than 6 weeks in total but I know she is the one for me and her period is a few days late and she fits the bill completely. I was wondering how soon this screaming followed by remorse comes about in a pregnancy because if this is what I am going to get for the next eon, I think I am better off single.... seriously, some insight into how soon to expect the potty mouth will help...

Sean Petty said...

This is exactly how I feel and what I am going through now with my wife..she is almost 7 months due and it seems like she just hates me...we have no convo...no touching... No cuddling whatsoever which I understand because she in pain but its a hard battle to deal with..sometimes she says she dont know if she loves me anymore... Harsh words to hear from the woman you love.

Anonymous said...

If our wives / girlfriends cannot handle the pregnancy...why did they choose to in the first place. My partner is 7 weeks in and I am living with Jill Frost (Jacks sister). She threw a cup of coffee in my face and sorry guys and ladies but I snapped!!! I don't take S##t from anyone!! it was like world war 3 in our house. I literally had to restrain her as she was throwing punches left right and centre. One punch connected and I was not going to stand there and be her punching bag so I was GONE! This has happened before when she was 5 weeks pregnant. Unfortunately she miscarried. Women have been getting pregnant for centuries, control the hormones or choose not to get pregnant. us guys don't nee
d the BS.

Alex Butler said...

Hello guys I have messed up big time.I had sold one of my tool box's to pay a loan back that I got before me and my girlfriend got together. Well when she asked me if I had sold my tool box and I said yes.She asked me what did I did with the money I told her I gave it to my mom.She found out that I lied and got mad witch I understood. But now wants to move out.keep in mind she is almost to months.How do I fix it I can't loose her she means the world to me. I need any advice thanks

Jodie Anne said...

Thanks for your blog!! I just found out I am pregnant. The fatigue and nausea are outta control. Tonight I found out my hormones are, too. My poor husband has no idea what hit him!! He isn't speaking to me and slept in the living room out of self preservation. I've heard of this irritability, but thought I would escape it. I had no control over being irritated by him. Unfortunately, we are just starting this journey. lol I hope hubby doesn't come to live in the other room!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm 8 weeks pregnant and bar some tears when I felt really sick (fixed that now - thank you medication) I've had no mental episodes. I have been very careful with my diet, however. I'm struggling to eat properly but beyond fruit, I'm not allowing myself any sugar. I bring this up because pregnant or not, there's a good link between sugar and mood swings. Pregnant women tend to feel they can eat whatever they want. All I've wanted is sweet things (mostly bananas), so I can understand why so many turn to sugary treats but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T! Getting on the sugar bandwagon is not going to help your mood stay stable AT ALL! It will just make the mood swings WORSE. I know it's hard, but try to find other things to eat other than cake, cookies, crisps, chocolate etc. (I'm big on bananas and smoothies). You and your suffering husbands will be grateful for it. Don't make a bad situation worse by adding sugar high and low mood swings to the mix.

Anonymous said...

It's nice to see a pregnant female for once to say it's just the hormones and she tries not to act out on them instead of just "put up with it" as everyone is saying. Stress(a death in the family, a cheating spouse etc) hits everyone's life, it doesn't give you "free reign" to abuse verbally or physically.

Anonymous said...

Don't just take it. If her treatment of you is bad, let her know it is unacceptable. Unless of course you want to be treated like a pushover forever. You're a man, be one.

Unknown said...

Coming from a pregnant woman in the third trimester, next time, let her take the first class seat. Shes probably trying to stop herself from ripping her own head off as well as yours. Its not easy growing a human inside of you. Make her dinner and run her a warm bath with bubbles. And appoligize for not letting her take the comfy chair on a most likely long and agitating plane ride.

Anonymous said...

I just found this this place to state my case because I am at a loss. Please forgive my grammar ~~all of the "I"'s~~ She really wants me to leave her but know how bad it will look if i do and don't want to AT ALL either way. Well she is my LOVELY new wife (08_01_2015, conception date 06_27_2015 at our destination Bach...&...eye party) and ever since we found out she was pregnant, the roller coaster started and she doesn't miss an opportunity to cut me down and makes me feel so so bad and I am not sure how to take it. She can treat me as the woman I married one minute out of the day and most of the time next telling me how I’m a mistake along with the marriage...

Please Note Her Reasoning:

<(start)>

1. I owe her monetarily as she has helped me through a lot as I am a difunctional veteran who just finished my degrees with night school because of her now I have a good career that pays well and not paying her back fast enough

2. She mentions that her trust was betrayed because I told people about the pregnancy before she wanted people to know.... I'm 37 and never wanted kids but find myself more excited than I ever thought could be possible

3. I said things during our heated arguments in the lat two months that shouldn't of been said, nothing that should make her be this hateful to me or I haven't said an apology for or things that she knew at the time wasn't true

4. She perceives me as a "Peter Pan" case having to grow up and rid some habits that I have stopped altogether and am working on the others for our future, especially the child. <(end)>

She cuts me down for stuff i can’t control. I really love tremendously as she is The One and have been together just shy of 9 YEARS, so it's not like she doesn't know who I am. AGAIN, this is both our first pregnancy... I pride myself on being the best I can to who I’m with but i can’t be good to someone who hurts me so bad. I realize and hope it is the preverbal hormone thing but she wants me out of the house in by the first of the month...4 days from now. I do get angry very easy but have learned that arguing with her leads to nothing but widening the gap between us, I don’t do spiteful things but…. she on the other hand goes to extremes with this. She is so upset with me for anything (BEING Physically, slapping, pushing... and Verbally). Granted I made some mistakes, although nothing that cannot be worked out or on. I understand her concerns as mentioned below.

As I grew up in a environment that was not to healthy at all and would never allow that to happen to my child, this she knows. I've been on the couch for the last two months as she doesn't even want me near her and my voice is now annoying. I offer everything I can and willing todo anything and everything for her but she accepts nothing nor allows me to be involved with anything. Which really hurts because I would love to be privy to all of this doctor visits, etc.

From what I have read, I possibly might have it easy and probably am whining but i don’t feel like this abuse is justifiable especially for loving her and constantly with and butterflies of wanting to be with her now. Always open to for more advice even if is the same answer from everyone I have asked but in all honesty I am so scared to leave her cause I know I won’t get to be any part of my first kids ultra sounds and all the good stuff. After all of my life challenges, this is by far the worst pain I've experienced... at first all I would do is go in the other room and cry till I can’t breathe cause of how bad she makes me feel and I have the feeling of not being able to go on on without her and the baby.

If she is only 15 weeks along how can I do 9-16 months of this? Will move out this next week if needed, of course I do not want to. If you do have thoughts please feel free to tell me because I’m not above hearing ideas or just telling me to shut up and suck it up. Thanks for the place to vent :)

Charlie said...

After reading this I'm sorry for most of the guys and defo sorry for all the woman who are going through this as I just realised I've got it easy apart from the crying that she can't explain there has been no punches or much anger unless I actually deserve it , but it's been good reading this cause now I know what signs to watch for and deal with the way that matters most to her , but 1 thing if it does change I can't say yes dear yes dear cause sounds patronising and I can't run worth a toss and pregnant or not she is faster so we will try the talking to each other approach like before when she was always right and let me know it , at least I'm the best at being wrong she can't take that away from me

Anonymous said...

Massive dick move. You deserve it. -jj

Cli Pah said...

I dont care what you hop through, you have no right to treat a man that way. If i was your husband i would throw you back in the ocean

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