Warning: the second trimester is a trap! ~ Almost a dad

Warning: the second trimester is a trap!

The second trimester is a brilliant tactic of instilling a false sense of security in expectant fathers. After surviving the first trimester gauntlet of nausea, crankiness and ginger ale shopping sprees, months four through six shine an entirely new light upon the proposition of pregnancy.

If I may, a brief analogy.

During the second trimester the pregnant woman emerges from her cocoon of morning sickness. Like a butterfly, she unfurls her glowing wings of pregnancy to the world. She is very hungry after completing her journey through the first three months and so will eat anything in her path; meat, vegetable, pastry or any domestic animal that comes within reach (R.I.P. Fluffy).

The transformation is truly as amazing as that of a caterpillar to a butterfly. Excitement sets in as you both look forward to the bundle of joy which will be blessing you in a few short months. You quickly forget the discomfort of the first few months and figure the rest of pregnancy will be equally as joyful. The baby begins to grow and change rapidly, and so does the mommy. The beauty of a pregnant woman becomes a site to behold.

However, much like the butterfly, after a few months the beauty stage of the pregnant woman comes to an end, as does my analogy. Don't get me wrong, pregnancy and the pregnant woman are still beautiful, but the experience for the father begins to revert to a test of will and patience. Now begins what I call the 'irritated' phase (for everybody involved).

Her mobility decreases and irritability increases. The expectant mother will gain more weight, ache more and vent all of these frustrations on you. Now the reason I call the second trimester a trap is that if fathers had to deal with the experience of the first and third trimesters in consecutive terms, many of us would end up going insane or bleeding to death from biting our tongues in excess.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think that your generalizations of pregnancy is ridiculous. Your wife is letting you believe that pregnancy is a torture when it truly is not. Uncomfortable, maybe, but in no way conspicuously so that she would turn against the world. During my pregnancy I never felt the need nor the desire to frustrate, yell at or demand my partner. Nor did I ever require any special treatment or attention. If a woman is uncomfortable, there is no reason she should spread the discomfort around. In fact, the more relaxed my partner is, the more relaxed and comfortable I am in my pregnancy. Simple as that. What kind of sissy,spoiled universe were you sucked into beliving is the norm...

b said...

gee, 'anonymous',
this blog states very clearly in the
first post that this is one man's
experience and his thoughts and
observations during that time.
don't know if that quite qualifies as
being 'the norm'. but it is HIS
norm.

it's the gleaning of knowledge from
experience that creates wisdom.
if someone can gain some wisdom about
how to bear his/her pregnancy with
a bit of grace or panache, where's
the harm? grilling a guy for
actually having the courage to talk
or write about his experience with
candor and honesty is a bit petty,
don't you think?

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure what kind of fantasy world Anonymous lives in, but PREGNANCY SUCKS FOR ME! I am one of those women who bitch and complain to my husband and fortunately he has yet to kill me. You know what they say, each pregnancy is different, so yours must have been super special and magnificent. I wish a horrible, spoiled child upon you!

"WeHadABabyItsABoy" said...

Anonymous 1....so far everything I read is happening to me or us even though my wifey is barelly in her second trimester.
Anonynous 2.... Hahaha you wish a horrible spoiled child upon her, good one.
Almost a dad... Thank you so much for your input/experience/research, comes in handy

Anonymous said...

I'm in my first trimester with my third child and you are absolutely right.
Stage 1: Cranky & all over the place
Stage 2. Feel good, awww yay baby time
Stage 3. Feeling like a whale, impatient & totally over it

My guess is Anonymous #1 is irritable all of the time & the partner can't tell the difference between the first trimester and a Sunday at the circus with the kids.