I would like to share a brief quote I recently overheard from my glowingly beautiful pregnant wife:
"Shut the f*@k up!"
- my wife, to our refrigerator
That's right, to our refrigerator. In my wife's defense, she rarely ever swears (that's my job), and our refrigerator beeps when the door is left open for more than a few seconds. This was apparently an unwelcome a reminder.
I made several realizations within moments of those eloquent words gracing my ears:
1. It was not directed at me, so I was happy.
2. A pregnant woman swearing at an inanimate object is funny. I laughed, on the inside.
3. For all the feminine beauty that pregnant women embody, a lady with a round tummy yelling at a metal shell is somehow equally as feminine. Again, an internal observation.
4. She always leaves the refrigerator door open and I was glad to hear that the reminder chime prompted her to action. However, had that chime been a verbal reminder from a man, his testicles would have been sheared clean from his body in one surgically precise swipe. Let this serve as a warning.
5. The relationship of a pregnant woman and a refrigerator is very similar to that of a female bear and her cubs; they are two things you do not may not understand and do not want to come between. Just stay away and you'll be fine.
10 comments:
That is too funny.
Does your wife read your blog?
Yes, she does read it. After a few moments I broached the subject of yelling at appliances and we both laughed about it.
She's actually a very normal and sane person, the 'highlights' are much more the exception than the rule *she's watching me right now*
Do any of your readers talk about the type of emotional volatility their preggers other has? I hear alot about women going to tears at the drop of a hat... Mine launches into angry door slamming, expletive filled screaming episodes with the same unexpected timing! Any advice?
I've heard LOTS of instances of angry explosions. Because it does happen so quickly, it's best just to try and stay quiet for a moment and try and let it pass. She will most likely storm out of the room or stop within a few seconds. If it doesn't, maintain eye contact and slowly back away.
It may take her by surprise as much as it does you, so try and be gentle with your approach of her behavior afterwards. Try joking about it, otherwise she may just launch into tears.
I am 34 weeks pregnant, I am irritable, and I found this post while surfing the net. I think you redeemed my whole day/mood. Thanks :)
Oh, you are awesome. I was sitting here becoming overwhelmingly irritable and cranky. I googled irritability and preganacy and fell upon your blog. I laughed until I cried...only took two seconds. Awesome. Thank you.
I am glad to know that I am not an insane pregnant woman. I am 29 weeks along and I cry and then I scream and I cry again. My husband does not understand that I am still here (somewhere deep inside) and that this tiny little baby boy is the cause for his sweet little wife's uncontrollable mood swings. He calls me crazy and and tells me I need to get a grip on things and that it may be my hormones but this is rediculous. Well I dont like it any better than he does. I love my son but I am not a fan of the heartburn, night sweats, leg numbness (recently my son moved right on a nerve and I cant feel my leg half the time), mood swings not to mention I can not see my feet. I have not slept through a whole night in months. I know I get a little cranky I hate beautiful women right now because my size 4 seems like it is an eternity away. But he does not seem to understand to have patience with me. I try I know this is hard for him but I need help. all my friends seemed so blissfully happy when they were pregnant, how did they do it????
WOW! Thank you for making me feel totally better about being a pregnant crazy lady right now!!
I've been going through and reading since the beginning and am going to finish at some point. We are 8 weeks pregnant with baby number one and I'm trying to learn as much as I can.
This post is really funny because since we got our new fridge (beeps just as yours does) we have off handedly said "Shut up fridge"
Omg, hilarious! Thank you for posting this, I too cried from laughing so hard. :-) 34 weeks pregnant and out of nowhere been irritated and wanna snap at hubby and son for basically being awake. Tried to say away but they come ask if I'm okay and I wanna throw something at them. This post made me feel better.:-) damn hormones!
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