1. Back rub / foot massages. This topped the list as AaD reader's favorite way to help their pregnant partners feel better. Pregnant women are often sore and uncomfortable due to increased weight, dietary changes and the fatigue that comes with growing a baby. A massage is a fantastic way to help ease the tension in her neck, back and shoulders. Have her sit on a pillow or lay on her side to make sure she is comfortable and relaxed.
2. Ginger ale. A good old fashioned favorite, ginger has a settling effect on the stomach and can be served in a few different ways. If ingested for an upset tummy or nausea, serve warm and flat. If it just hits the spot, serve cold. Mix with cranberry juice and ice for a refreshing treat and some good vitamins.
3. Time alone / Time to relax. This cuts both ways so be careful; you don't want to leave her alone too long, but you don't want to smother her either. She is tired, hormonal and may need some time to think about all the upcoming changes in her life.
4. Certain foods. Food can be friend or foe to a pregnant woman depending on mood, trimester, health and a host of other factors. Find out what your pregnant partner likes and stock up so she can have it at a moment's notice. Try and find healthy snacks if your partner is at risk of gestational diabetes. Just be prepared that she will suddenly hate what she loved yesterday.
5. Talking. Pregnancy can be as confusing and scary as it is exciting. Pregnant women go through so many physical changes, which says nothing for all of the emotional and even logistical changes you both with encounter. In the face of such a massive life event is helps to have someone to talk to. Give her an attentive ear and share some feelings of your own.
6. Attention / Compliments. Attention and compliments do well even when she's not pregnant. Spend time with her and tell her how beautiful she is and what an amazing mother you think she'll be.
7. Helping her out as much as possible, tasks, chores. Household responsibilities shift during pregnancy, there's no way of getting around it. Expectant mothers tire quickly (physically and emotionally) and often feel poorly a fair percentage of the time. Start by transitioning the chores that involve any lifting or physical exertion. Branch out into the niceties that make it easier for her to relax like some extra cleaning or picking up. Remember that a pregnant woman should never change the cat box.
8. Constant apologies, whether right or wrong. While I don't think you need to become a whipping boy, taking a lighter tack towards proving a point and avoiding conflict with an hormonally charged woman isn't the worst approach in the world.
9. Letting her have her way all the time. I personally disagree with this to some extent, however it came up quite a bit. Like #8, I think that softening your approach and being accomodating is important, but if you totally bow down to every ridiculous whim you may find yourself ready to snap by the end of the pregnancy. It's about balance and understanding that her circumstance is effecting her emotionally. With that in mind, cater to her as much as you can, but preserve your own sanity as you go.
10. Playing it by ear. One reader who seems to have a good handle on what can be a volatile situation wrote "I find that just playing it by ear is best. If she clearly needs space, I give it. If she clearly needs a hug, I give it. If she clearly needs onion rings at midnight, I go out and find them."
And a bonus...
11. Exorcism... because sometimes it's safest to get out of the house for a couple of hours.
15 comments:
I've found that talking seems to work best. The more we talk, the better she feels. Well, that and exercising with her.
Any experience or suggestions when its twins! People keep telling us "wow you guys are so lucky" My husband and I fail to see our luck! I fear I may drive us both insane well before we're due!!!
Good article about '10 ways tohep pregnant women feel better'... very innovative... thanx for sharing...
Good suggestions and I'll try just about all of them right now because my 35-week pregnant wife just stormed out of the house. We were supposed to go together to a baby store about 20 miles away but she basically got up and left. It all started when she made a smart comment about not getting her a back massager (there's good reason for that -- she's never liked any of the massage products I have ever given her). After mentioning that I have been doing a lot for her, I slipped up by saying I don't need to keep helping her if I'm just going to be slapped around constantly (a hollow threat indeed). Obviously she didn't take that comment well. Now I'm sitting here reading your blog for the first time after typing "dealing with pregnant women" into Google.
Goodness sakes, I wish I had of seen this while I was pregnant with my first. I would have directed husbands attention to this. Insightful, hilarious.. and what a fantastic read!! THANK YOU LOL! Maybe we will read it as a refresher if I have another pregnancy lol.
There are some very good suggestions here. Pamper a pregnant woman, that always works.
Thanks a lot, very helpful.. at least I hope it does! ;-)
I bought my wife a body pillow for her pregnancy and it made her comfortable so she slept better and so did I.
I am amazed at how thoughtful and understanding you've been during your time with a pregnant wife. The fact that you have an entire blog, and that you take the time to research about women is commendable! I am currently 37 wks and I can relate to so much here...I just wish my husband spent as much time researching pregnancy as he does work. I look forward to reading more of your blog! I need inspiration...and the comment about an open ear is so true...pregnant women have lots of anxiety.
The BEST thing I found to make my wife feel better when she was pregnant was a body pillow. Starting at around 14 weeks she was having real trouble sleeping and she was taking it out on me!
I gave her the body pillow and wow, what a difference it made. She started sleeping soundly and waking up much less often, and she'd wake up without back aches and other pains. She still swears to this day it's the best money we ever spent. I might agree just because it made her much happier (read - less rawr in my direction)!
Thanks for the tips i'll try and give them a go as I can't take any more. Work is stressful and then when I get home I am treated like I am worthless, meaningless and irrelevant. Massive mood swings, hates me touching her, won't give me eye contact, won't smile when I get home from work. It's really, really getting too much and am probably going to explode very soon
This blog is possibly the most helpful thing I have ever stumbled across on the internet. I'm going to print myself a copy (obviously hide it) and hopefully reap the benefit, I'm in a similar position to Paul and I think that the man's emotions and struggles at this time are not well represented enough. Thankyou 'Almost a Dad' you're my saviour!
I'm 5 weeks pregnant with my second child, (different father). I will be directing him to this site, and highlighting all the stuff I want him to absorb into his head. Which is pretty much all of it. The 10 tips are fantastic! Your wife is certainly a very lucky woman.
Being tret like crap makes u feel even worse, its our secong child in 19 months so times are hard due to first baby not sleeping yet...we have 8 days remainin til due date on 2nd baby and the things she says to me are awful...i have been close to leavin whenever she calls me unneeded insults every other day...this site helps but its no excuse for behavin the way she does.....
I've tried everything, sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. These are great tips but watch out, pregnant women sometimes just can't be consoled. As long as they know you're always there when you need them you're on the right track.
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