Since my wife and I have announced our pregnancy, we have been deluged with highly opinionated advice. Many of these people, who we are not particularly close to, freely dispense of their wisdom without thinking twice. Not only do they try to scare us, but the methods they prescribe clearly have not worked for their own little monster children.

As I've mentioned in the past, people not only presume that expectant fathers are idiots, they procede to tell you why your child will be behind the curve. "Oh, you want to bring your kids outside before the age of two? Fresh air will burn their lungs and make them stupid."

I figured a deluge of irksome or bad pregnancy advice couldn't be something unique to our experience, so I asked for others' experiences on Yahoo! Answers. These little gems of advice are actual suggestions and that expectant mothers and fathers have received in the course of their own pregnancies.

"I did cocaine with my kids and they're all okay!" (In response to a mother's concern that she inadvertantly continued smoking cigarettes before she was aware of her pregnancy.)"


"I was told not to eat red grapes by an idiot doctor because it would turn the baby's face red. LOL He is not a doctor anymore!"


"I was told to drink two to three alcoholic drinks a day, and not believe what the doctors said about alcohol and pregnancy. The alcohol would help me stay relaxed, and the baby would be calm when it was born. The nut-job said she drank through all of her pregnancies and the kids are great. Obviously I didn't follow her advice!!!!"


"[She] tried to tell me that based on her experience that I'll know I'm going into labor because I'll have to pee alot. Well with that said I told her, well i've been labor all 9 months because all I do is pee! .. She was a complete moron and had no children of her own or experience with babies."


"The only bad thing I've been told is that you should always get an epidural. I react badly to pain meds so I'm opting out and everyone is telling me that I will regret it. If it saves me and my baby, no I won't."


"*EVERYONE* told me to stock up on bottles and formula because I probably wouldn't be able to breastfeed."


"One thing [my mother-in-law] NAGGED me about was staying upright after I ate, because I had terrible morning sickness...but it made me miserabley uncomfortable and more likely to throw up if anything."


"She also tried to make me feel like I should be a little miss Suzy homemaker...I had a horrible pregnancy riddled with morning sickness until half through the last trimester, premature labor, alot of stress...and [my mother-in-law] wanted me to be at home looking pretty in a sparkling house with a roast on the table, giving everything to the bread winner and not getting anything for myself."


"Another thing was everyone telling me to take the drugs...I wanted a drug free labor, but ended up so -annoyed- at everyone I took them and ended up stopping my labor (after having gone from three centimeters to 8 in an hour) and causing me to have a c-secion. I wasnt happy."


"'Listen to your doctor'. This was the worst. My doctor was a jerk, and a moron. He's still convinced that babies cannot hear from inside the womb!"

Some people, or apparently even some doctors, may not have their heads in the right places when dishing out pregnancy-related advice to already nervous expectant mothers. Just keep in mind that a little common sense and some instinct will get you a long way... unless you think heavy drinking and cocaine are fine for babies; in that case you're just an idiot or Nichole Richie.