Comments on Almost a dad: Dealing with hormonal pregnant women: don't make t...

Being more direct is better, but I would check wit...

2010-07-10T13:50:11.546-07:00

Being more direct is better, but I would check with the sister what she thinks about you seeing the kids and see if she can facilitate. I think that's a good way to handle things with them as well. Tell them you love them and don't go into too much detail.

As for the pregnancy, I would try and get involved if you can. You mentioned the ultrasound, I would try and go if it wouldn't end up as world war 3. Make sure she knows that you're doing it out of interest in the baby and don't even try and approach the subject of the two of you. Tell her that it's your child as well and by supporting her you're supporting the baby.

It's your child regardless of your relationship with her, and you love her birth children like your own. Again, be patient but don't be too passive that things that you love are taken from you.

From mr. Confused, thank you bill for your commen...

2010-07-10T12:03:56.847-07:00

From mr. Confused,

thank you bill for your comments. I do truly love her and that's exactly what I'm doing now...waiting and giving her space. I haven't spoken with the kids in a while and was wondering on whether I should call them. I speak to her sister about once every two weeks and was thinking of having her bring me the kids to some place to eat pizza or whatever to tell them that I love them and that the only reason that I'm not coming around is that sometimes when women get pregnant they need space. (I won't elaborate more than that). And to tell them that if they need to call me they can do so at anytime. I honestly feel like um their father. What u think? Or should I wait until d baby is born? The next ultrasound is aug 3 and the baby is due aug 27

Dear Mr. Confused, My suggestion is to wait. You ...

2010-07-04T21:23:19.058-07:00

Dear Mr. Confused,

My suggestion is to wait. You sound like a good guy, which makes me think you already know what the right thing to do is, now you just need to do it. You've been there for her and her kids before, so don't stop. My bet would be that it's hormonal, but that aside, you should be there for her for two reasons:

The first reason is that if you truly love her, all the things you've listed, (child with seizures, abusive relationship, ex's suicide, depression, etc.) are all reasons why she needs you to not give up on her. Mix in hormones you've got a woman who is likely very confused. Don't be another strike against her, be a source of strength for her. Give her space, but don't give up on her. She'll appreciate it in the long run.

The second reason is that she's pregnant with YOUR child. Regardless of what happens between the two of you, that little baby is still yours. Don't confuse the relationship between you and your girlfriend with the one between you and your child. Support her because she's the mother of your child. Make sure she's getting the care she needs and that you're there, silently if need be, to support her when she needs it. That child will always be your child, so make she he/she has a good life right from the start.

I know it's a very difficult situation, and I wish you the best of luck.

- Bill

I have known my girlfriend (or ex maybe) for about...

2010-07-04T13:51:34.207-07:00

I have known my girlfriend (or ex maybe) for about 8 years. The first 3 years it wasn't a serious relationship and we stopped talking for a year. After the year, she searched me out and we started dating again. I told her from the beginning that i wanted a child someday and after two years we got engaged. Then her oldest child started to have sezuires and she became depressed and the relationship went a little south. She has three children from a previous relationship which was abusive. The father of the children died (he killed himself) before i met her. Anyhow, I bought a house and a car for her and have treated her children like my own. I took her two boys, for example, to Los Angeles from Chicago three months ago. She got pregnant (not planned, but i was happy anyhow) and after 6 months she broke up with me. Her whole family has called me and told me that i should wait for her. Im confused as to whether this is real or hormonal. you can call be Mr. Confused when you reply

Just a quick note firstly to Jennifer - I do hope ...

2010-05-27T13:22:38.965-07:00

Just a quick note firstly to Jennifer - I do hope that you will firstly tell your partner what you have told the blog, but also show him the site, it is a great read.

To everyone else - Now that my son is 4 months old I think all the "aches" that the women put the males through is a test for when baby arrives!!!

Well after having a hormonal breakdown today I had...

2010-05-21T11:53:17.810-07:00

Well after having a hormonal breakdown today I had allot of concern that im pushing my boyfriend away. I'm just hitting my 20wk mark and this is not my first out lash of the "Pregosaurus Rex" as one of the bolgers so well put it(that made me laugh out loud cuz it is o'so true). Reading all these blogs really helped me allot today.So for all of you that posted thank you! After my outlash today I was looking for something to make since of my madness and came across this site. I truly love my boyfriend and want him to know that I'm happy that he is going to be the father of the baby but I think with my constant digging for dirt, crying, asking him if he still loves me or why is he even wants to be with me maybe driving him mad or pushing him away. Even tho I can't speak for him I can only imagine all this is very hard to deal with. I promise I'm a very strong woman normally but as of lately I don't feel strong at all. Infact Im very needy for attention and are dealing with some major insecurities, plus i cry all the time over the littlest things. I pray to GOD that he is strong enough and loves enough to still wanna be here but it's hard to know when a person can only deal with so much. I really really am sorry and I know he may think differently I do trust him more than I have ever trusted any one. GOD Bless all the new families out there and men stay strong for us women... we may not admit it all the time but we need you more than you will ever know.

As everybody else here I was about to loose my min...

2010-04-13T20:10:20.377-07:00

As everybody else here I was about to loose my mind!!!
My wife is 19 weeks right now, and let me start how we used to be...
We were like teenagers in love, couldn't be one minute appart without calling or texting eachother.
We planned to have this baby so its something we both wanted, and we succeded! About 4 weeks later, her attitude changed.
She stopped texting and calling, when I did she would find an excuse not to talk to me...hmmmm that was weird! Then she stopped
saying she loves me (ok?????) Then a few days after she let me have it good! She said she doesn't love me and she hates me!!!!
My world came crushing in front of me, I was shocked, scared, angry, confused.... Like how the heck does someone stop loving somebody
who they planned a family with and loved with all their heart?!?!
I kept asking and asking and trying to talk just to get a "I don't wanna talk about it" man was that frustrating!
I couldn't call her anymore because she didn't want me to, couldn't talk to her in person because she would just give me a dirty look and move away from me.
And I kept asking myself why is this happening? Did I do something wrong? Did she meet someone? She even said she regrets getting married to me, she wanted out of marriage
She regreted getting pregnant by me. And ohhhhhh man what didn't cross my mind, let her have the divorce, move out and all that stuff. But something inside me kept me from doing anything stupid....
I guess it was the thought that I'm having a child with this woman who I love more than I love myself and I kept telling her that I will never, NEVER give up on us!
And thank god I didn't. I wanted to talk to someone but who I thought?
And then it hit me GOOGLE IT!!!!! Heheheheh so everyday at work I'd be googling this, heheh
and then I realized I'm NOT the only one and this is normal for some women, man did I feel better, so since I found out its the hormones I knew that wasn't her talking and throwing things at me, yeah I've had things thrown at me, food, cups, bottles(glass bottles)
but luckily I've dodged the harder and heavier things LOL.
Annnyyyway I was doing all I could to make her feel better, if she felt like arguing I would just calmly tell her I love her to whatever she would say, or just tell her I'm sorry for whatever even if it wasn't my fault.
Gentlemen, hang in there don't give up, don't leave her, give her space if she needs it anfd asks for it, otherwise smother her with compliments and tell her how beautiful she is, some women feel or see themselves ugly or fat or unattractive in a time like this, mine did
but to me she was never prettier and more sexier than now, the woman I love is carrying my child, I don't know but it doesn't get better than that to me....
What else worked for me was long drives out of the city into the mountains into the nature, and my precious wife was back while we were driving. Try to act silly, make her laugh try to put her in a good mood but don't point out the hormonal clusterfu*k she's going through, makes things
worse, trust me!!!
Right after her first trimester she started coming back even tho she has her moments now and then and she says she loves me and cares and is excited about our family. So guys please be there for your ladies, we'll never know how they feel and we are the ones who can think clear and not make any
dumb decisions.

By the way some of you call your wifes pregosaurus rex, good one I call mine pregzilla and now she finds it funny

hi have been reading this site and im glad im not ...

2010-04-05T06:00:37.044-07:00

hi have been reading this site and im glad im not alone !!!my g friend is 11 weeks and she has left me twice now !!i just cant seem to do enough for her i ask whats wrong and if i can do anything but she just ignors me and stares into thin air!we have been together 7 months and she has moved in with me and it seems all she wants to do is run back to her town which is only about 25 miles away i seem to be on my own alot and cant do anything right her friend told me she hates it living with me is this just hormones??? help!!!

February 27th 2009 was my last comment. Now that t...

2010-02-23T21:39:57.904-08:00

February 27th 2009 was my last comment. Now that the dust has settled and a year later, all I can say is: at the end of the day...I'm a dad. It's greatest feeling in the world. I smile just thinking about it. I have a son that I thank God for. As for mom, we are back together now and slowly working on issues that we/I had. I would agree that hormones made her alittle more nuts, but the rest was all her...which are the "issues" were working on. Faith and good friends got me through some really tough times...oh and one more thing, the constant thought that kept ringing in my head, "at the end of the day...I will be a dad".

Hey Guys well I have finally got past the 3 mont...

2010-02-21T18:25:45.686-08:00

Hey Guys

well I have finally got past the 3 month stage now on 24 week Praise the Lord I would never have survived without him, I was sure that was the end of it and i was almost looking forward to it she put me through hell I slept on the sofa for nearly all of 4 months argued constantly everday and I mean arguing I was seriously thinking of leaving I had had enough. So guys if you are still in it I feel for you bros sincerely hang in there she will soon be over it and back to her old self actually she is even happy than before I keep reminding her of the hell she put me through Forget the hormones from sister and mother I have been told its all just a big joke they are just seeing how far they can go hmmm be careful with that though tread carefully. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

hey guys, my wife is currently 3 months pregnant a...

2010-02-18T20:50:50.266-08:00

hey guys, my wife is currently 3 months pregnant and i couldn't be happier but her moods are all over the place and i don't know what do. before she feel pregnant we had a fantastic relationship she loved to be around me and vis versa and it was like this till about a month and a half in to the pregnancy and she started to be a bit off with me and then she and called off our wedding , and now just the other day she told me she doesn't love me anymore and at times she hates to be around me but she said she might love me again someday, she still wants us to stay together and pretend nothing is wrong. now im scared im going to lose her she keeps saying that no matter what she wont take the baby away from me but i dont want to lose her ether. can anyone help me please if there is anyone who has been though the same then can they please contact me on dld89@hotmail.com i just need to know if after the baby is born will our relationship go back to the way it was.

LOl. That was funny. But, you must keep good relat...

2010-01-08T07:21:06.948-08:00

LOl. That was funny. But, you must keep good relations with your sister in law. Like you said, she will understand one day, when she gets pregnant. And its not a big deal for you guys not to talk to each other. Really.

Haha that is me to a T!!!! I'm 7 months pregnant &...

2010-01-07T20:05:33.584-08:00

Haha that is me to a T!!!! I'm 7 months pregnant & crazy.....but have a awesome partner that understands that......though he has a sister (who i wish would read this) who says she understood all this when i first fell pregnant as she has had mates that have been pregnant & crazy & now is expecting me to say sorry too her cause she is a little sooky lala....partner has explained too her that this is what pregnant women do...soooooooo cant wait till she falls pregnant one day cause her hormones will go crazy & i shall say "well do u remember the time?" well that is if she ever talks to me again....cause theres nooooo way im saying sorry!!!
I do though feel very sorry for all friends & family that have to put up with pregnant women....in the words of my partners best mate...if she says the sun is black then it's black lol

Lmao. That was funny. I have been telling them her...

2010-01-06T12:27:55.275-08:00

Lmao. That was funny. I have been telling them here the same thing. I am pregnant and want to give my husband hell, but I hold it in. Some woman cant. Simple.

To the lady whose partner is moaning about her not...

2010-01-06T11:13:42.378-08:00

To the lady whose partner is moaning about her not wanting to get dressed up and go out, I say that you should make a deal with him...... every time you are sick he has to stick his fingers down his throat and make himself sick so he feels your pain and then understands why you don't really want to go out, but then if he still does want to then suggest you will try your best, but the site of x, y or z could send you (both) running to the toilet.

To a lot of the others on here saying about their wives/ girlfriends beating them (verbally), my wife is now close to full term and I've been through the mill at times with her, then a wise old woman (namely my dear mother) pointed out that it is natures way of making sure your going to be a father and not run when the going gets tough, although the female doesn't recognise this. So, if possible, when she is ranting and raving try and tell you it is mother natures way of testing you, and her way of "protecting the brood"....... and yes I know it is easier said than done. The best things I have learnt from this site are "Yes Dear" and/ or "of course dear" {;- )

Well, little mama, first, I want to say I hope soo...

2010-01-05T07:37:20.983-08:00

Well, little mama, first, I want to say I hope soon y'all get married. Its the right thing to do. But... ok. moving on. He should really be the one trying to find ways to make you feel better. You are the one suffering. I have 2 kids and 7 months pregnant now, so I know. But, since you are asking, you should kindly explain to him what you just explained to us and give him so literature to read on it. Make him understand that you really feel bad that you can't be the woman he wants you to be, but you are going through some rough times and he should try to understand at least a little bit or it will make pregnancy be a really bad experience for both him and you. Get him books or search the internet and print things out. Ask him to support as he has been doing before you got pregnant instead of making you feel bad because you cant help feeling sick. (but be gentle as much as you can so you dont hurt his feeling). Thirdly tell him you are ready to get married so God can be pleased with you. Y'all having a baby, ya love each other, there is no reason to wait another year. (Smile). I hope you feel better and dont worry, before you turn 5 months, you should feel a whole lot better then you can be active again. Tell him girl....

I am about 12 1/2 weeks pregnant right now and hav...

2010-01-02T19:04:19.412-08:00

I am about 12 1/2 weeks pregnant right now and have been pretty sick since week 5. My fiance has been extremely supportive and I try to tell him so each time I notice that he's doing something for me that is really above and beyond. Since I have been so sick, I haven't been my usual self with wanting to go out to dinner or get out of the house as much; it just seems like so much work for me when I could get sick at any moment and the rest of the time I'm walking around feeling like I have the flu. I know that he must feel crazy, like he's locked up in the house with nothing to do; I try to tell him that he should go hang out with friends if he wants, but he just hangs around the house with me and goes stir-crazy. The worst part is, he keeps making comments about how I don't want to do anything anymore, how I don't get dressed up for him anymore, how I'm lazy all the time; I've tried to explain to that on days it's a struggle to get out of bed without immediately having to run to the bathroom that it's a lot of extra work that seems unnecessary to me to get all "dolled up" to throw up all day. I know that eventually I'm going to start feeling better (at least I hope I am), and I keep trying to tell him that. I don't know how to make him understand that it's so hard when you feel extremely sick all the time to feel motivated to do anything else. He just doesn't understand, and I know that it's also hard for him because there is nothing he can do to make me feel any better. Any suggestions on what I can do to make this easier on him?

The person who left the comment on December 30th, ...

2009-12-31T07:23:40.085-08:00

The person who left the comment on December 30th, I dont really understand the question?

Has anyone experienced a change in how their signi...

2009-12-30T21:30:44.047-08:00

Has anyone experienced a change in how their significant other views her own family? I feel that they can do no wrong with the things they do, things they buy for the baby etc. and anything from my family/friends is either "OK" or almost expected. Her mom will buy an outfit and she will go on and on about how cute the thing is. My poor mom feels completely out of the loop, as my wife is latching onto her own mother a little too much.

Any input from someone who is or who has experienced this?

All I can say is try to explain to them that a lot...

2009-12-28T07:53:04.553-08:00

All I can say is try to explain to them that a lot of women go through that. If they truly love you they will try to cope with it. A lot of marriages end because of that and people dont regret it until after. Give them books on how pregnancy hormones can make you feel. Be kind and give them resources to understand. That's all. Me, I had to look for myself. I was thinking there is no way I start hating my husband for no reason. That is how I found out. And by asking other women. Encourage them to learn. Knowledge is the key, ignorance never helps.

The guy that left the comment on Dec.22 20009. I f...

2009-12-27T16:37:22.659-08:00

The guy that left the comment on Dec.22 20009.
I feel your pain!!!!

my g/f is 11 weeks. It started off good we were happy with everything and then just out of know where things changed for the worst!! She starts getting sick all through the day...

everything i do is not right to her she moved in with her dad to be stress free...and i even got i dont love you no more...so as that was said i thought to myself didnt we plan this? a baby? and now you dont know if you love me?

Im down an out ppl i have no idea what to do! This is our first child some what hurts not to be around all the time im praying that its these hormones taking over her i love this person dearly.

my girlfriend is 10 wks and 3 days. right now I am...

2009-12-22T08:33:05.993-08:00

my girlfriend is 10 wks and 3 days. right now I am down my place cooling off from another hormonal battering!! I really want to go up to hers but feel I will only incur her wrath. I’m glad (sorry) to hear I’m not the only one going through this. I am trying my hardest to be supportive and caring but it seems everything I do is wrong, I don’t know which way to turn as I know I will get my arse handed to me.
I thought this would be great and would bring us even closer but I feel like I’m losing the women I love to this hormonal monster that is pregnancy!! I too pictured lots of cuddles and kisses throughout this watching our baby grow before our eyes but instead I get no sex no cuddles or kisses at all and she seems repulsed by me, each time I go near her it makes her sick!

what is your best advise with handling a hormonal lady as I’m trying to understand but am constantly told "YOU DONT UNDERTAND" I hope this blows over, it’s getting me down!! I’m in another country away from all my family and friends and have no one to turn too.
please advise me
thanks

OK OK OK OK. ENOUGH EVERYONE. YA'LL KILLING. I HAV...

2009-12-22T07:21:26.151-08:00

OK OK OK OK. ENOUGH EVERYONE. YA'LL KILLING. I HAVE 2 KIDS AND ONE ON THE WAY. THANK GOD. A FRIEND OF MINE HAD 3 AND ONE WHO PASSED AWAY, SO IT WOULD HAVE BEEN 4. THAT WOMAN IS CRAZY ABOUT HER HUSBAND. AND I DONT KNOW BETWEEN HER AND I WHO IS CRAZIER ABOUT THEIR HUSBAND. I SPEND HOURS THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE MY HUBBY. BUT BOTH MY FRIEND AND I, IN THE TOTAL 7 PREGNANCIES WE HAD FELT THE SAME WAY AROUND THE FIRST TRIMESTER. WE FELT LIKE WE HATED OUR HUSBAND, WANTED TO SEE THEM DEAD, MADE US NAUSEOUS, WE JUST COULD NOT SEE THEM. BUT WHAT WE HAD IN COMMENT IS THAT WE KNOW IT WAS TEMPORARY. IT WAS THE HORMONES. ITS REAL. WE HAD TO FORCE OURSELVES TO NOT SHOW THESE MEN THESE FEELINGS. BUT THAT IS US. SOME WOMEN DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THAT. YOU JUST HAVE TO BE PATIENT AND GIVE IT TIME. I AM NOT TALKING FOR EVERYONE'S SITUATION, BUT MOST OF YOU IS GOING THROUGH THAT. AND AFTER THE FIRST TRIMESTER, YOU WILL SEE A HUGE CHANGE.

thank god i say for this site we are having our fi...

2009-11-29T05:06:57.431-08:00

thank god i say for this site we are having our first and i wonder why anybody would want to have a second after just 8 and a half weeks, i feel like im goin 200 rounds with mike tyson, the emotions are wild, within a minute or 2 apart she can be cinderella one minute and the next frankenstein, sometimes i find a trip out to the car and a very loud roar obviously not in the vacinity of prego usually calms me i tried to ask why she is this way only once and i swore to myself after about 2 hrs of her explaining this to me as to why i shudnt have asked i say explaining when really it was more screaming laughing and crying and a face full of food,

Thankyou so much for this site before this i felt i was only one dealing with a constant fight.

irish liam

omg, my gf kicked me out of my own house during he...

2009-11-07T16:17:47.444-08:00

omg, my gf kicked me out of my own house during her 4th month. they lose a piece of their brain during pregnancy. and no matter what happens your always wrong and they make you look like a big jerk!! lmao--good luck guys, i only have 6 weeks to go and im out of the woods !!!! ahoooo hooooo!!! ps...the kick out only lasted a week, were ok now as long as i be quiet, lol