For a person who does not have first-hand experience with the hormonal shifts of a pregnant woman, it can be hard to believe that it will happen. Some pregnant women are irritable, some yell at their partners, while other expectant mothers are just surly. Some may not have any visible hormonal outbursts at all.
I have been lucky personally in that my wife has not had too extreme of an emotional roller coaster while pregnant. She swore at the refrigerator and had a few small hormonal episodes, but nothing too major. Sure, I've gone to bed a few nights and wondered if I would see the light of day, but overall nothing too bad.
That said, I would like to share some admissions from moms and pregnant women about their hormones during pregnancy and things they've said or done to their partners during a hormonally charged state. The answers are from a survey I posted on Yahoo! Answers.
1. Well, I suspected I was pregnant with baby number 2 when I threw a full out tantrum in the middle of the mall because Pretzel Time didn't accept credit cards.... my poor husband was so embarrassed. I've never wanted anything so badly in my life, sure enough, a week later, I got a positive pregnancy test.
2. I yell at him a lot and question everything he does.
3. I cry every time we argue. And sometimes I get mad at him and start an argument when its not necessary. Then I tell him he needs to not argue back so it doesn't upset me and that makes me cry more.
Poor guy! he's so confused...but he understands its my hormones. and when I've calmed down, i explain why.
4. I cant stand the smell of my husband! Every time he is near me I feel sick (he is very clean so it's not a hygiene thing) but he gets pis*ed of because I do everything to stay away from him when he gets home and I don't know how to tell him.
5. Even though he tons of things for me, I STILL yelled at him, and I feel really horrible about it now! I found that if I had problems with other people or just a bad day in general, I took it out on him even though he didn't deserve it.
6. I think that the weird thing that I did was to get absolutely furious at him for not buying a crib and mattress while we were shopping for the (very sane) reason that they would not fit in the car. I basically tearfully accused him of not caring about the baby and not wanting to be ready for the baby. I went on about having done all the planning and all he had to do was to carry the stupid thing out to the car.
He wisely said nothing, let me cry it out, and then said, "C'mon. We have been doing too much. You are tired out."
I then cried even harder while I apologized for being such a silly, selfish, unreasonable beast.
Everyone's experience is different, but expectant fathers should be fully aware that hormones may rear their ugly head at any time during pregnancy. Do keep in mind that pregnancy is a wonderful time and pregnant women are beautiful, so tell her.
More pregnancy quotes:
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Pregnant women are irritable, a quote
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Nibbling fetus, a quote
20 comments:
I've been really lucky with my fiance. We're in process of renovating my house and moving her and her two other children out of their apartment right now. Its a lot of stress all the way around. That said, she's been a trooper.
Only once has she started crying and throwing a tantrum. It was pretty shocking as she has been so even keel throughout her pregnancy. Overall, I have no complains about her hormonal behavior.
Hi there.
Glad to hear she's doing well. I have to say that I've been very lucky as well. My wife is usually relatively even keeled to begin with which may account for some of it, it also makes any changes that much more pronounced.
Good luck!
Bill
Great post! Wish it had been around when I was expecting.. about two-and-a-half years ago. Would have definitely made the husband read it! :)
Hi Tanya,
So glad you liked the post. Pregnancy is great, but it definitely has interesting moments for everyone!
Thanks,
Bill
This is so funny! I recognize a lot, I tend to get the same way when I am pregnant.
I am 39 weeks pregnant. today I was sitting with my 4 year old while he listened to a CD his teacher gave him. A certain slow instrumental song came on. Tears welled up in his eyes, his lip began to quiver and he blubbered like some one had just shot Ol' Yeller. I had never seen anything like it. I am slow to move lately, so I could not jump up and comfort him. So I called for him to come to me. He looked so pathetic that it made me cry too. We sat there hugging as we both cried. I still don't know why that song made him cry, but it was clearly the song because as soon as it was over, he pushed me awa and bounced over to play with a stick he found behind the chair. I was left to finish my cry alone.
I told my husband that hamburgers made me happier than he did (so not true!). He was so hurt by this that he started to cry while blowing bubbles for our son. Seeing his lip quiver while blowing bubbles struck my funny bone and I could not stop laughing. I felt like the most evil person ever and I will probably never live it down!
That does sound incredibly evil, but made me laugh as I was reading it! Poor guy!
My fiance and I are really excited about our soon to arrive baby girl, and she has done really well with the pregnancy, however even she hasn't been spared from a little craziness:
"If you would just do what I say, I wouldn't have to pull your hair."
I've noticed my sailor-like ability to string together expletives that have no rhyme or reason-and no business being in the same sentence together as they inevitably just confuse the listener. Needless to say, although I have a perfectly vaild complaint, the intended just doesn't quite get the wisdom I am offering at the top of my lungs....
My girlfriend is 10 weeks pregnant. I have no idea on what to do, but I do know that whatever she needs I will do. The other day I asked her how she was doing and if she needed anything to let me know. She said "You shouldn't worry about the little things"... I didnt know that having a pregnant girlfriend with your baby was considered a "little thing" haha
I am 16 weeks pregnant with my second baby. I get so annoyed with these types of women. I understand that there are major hormone changes because I feel them. I can understand crying about nothing and I can totally sympathize with the one about not being able to stomach the smell of her husband. Pregnancy is not an excuse to throw a tantrum or make your partner feel like he is to blame for everything.
Suck it up ladies, we are not victims. It will all be over with in a matter of months.
@Janet,
You are only on your 2nd pregnancy here. I was just fine and even tempered through my 3rd pregnancy. But the 4th and 5th ones were a different story. I never imagined I could be so coldhearted or not want to be near my man, but it happened. And I used to say the same thing as you...
I love this! yesterday my husband and i were looking at my belly and seeing how big its getting. And I said "wow i'm getting big and I have 3 more months left" and my wonderful husband said "hell your gonna be a TANK soon" I think because i didn't kill him on the stop show's I'm in good control of my Hormones!!! LOL (really i just laughed it off and said) "I KNOW!"
i've read a few articles and postings on here about coping with an angry pregnant wife. they all make light of it and suggest the husband do things like "tell her she's beautiful", etc.
am i the only father-to-be on here with emotions of their own? is there something wrong with me that i can't laugh about this? i have tried to be patient. very hard. i'm not a saint by any means but i'm not a bad person either.
there's no regretting-it-later with my wife. some on here say that you can't expect that. why not?
we are now both miserable, and very, very, upset. there's nothing funny or cute about it.
OMG Im am soon to be father and I felt so alone until I read everyone's post today lol I think I'm gonna cry!! I would have never thought so much could happen in a couple of weeks! here's a visual ladies we're willingly and lovingly picking up extra work load outside and inside the house from cleaning the house to yard work which I thank the Lord for because it gives us a break from your drama yes hard labor just turned into our break time to relax. so guess what? we get tired and cranky just as well. consider that when you yell at us and treat us like crap!! I'm not asking for much just consider we are strong and you're turning us into weak beings, no wonder we fear this moments growing up lol look, all i'm saying is that we men have feelings too, so love us a little because we love you alot we give up alot just as you are, its an equal partership help us, love us and in return we will give our lives to you.... wish me luck im going back in....
OMG This is EXACTLY what I've been going through. I've called my friends that have children and told them I don't think I'm going to make it. They laugh and just tell me they went through the same thing. "It's hormones...suck it up" that's what they say. I wish she knew, but then again, she wishes I knew what she was going through. It's been tough so far... and still got a long way to go. Wish me luck! lol
Lol...with my last pregnancy my husband didn't believe I was pregnant til I got so mad in the car I asked him to stop and let me out...on a bridge. Fortunately when he told me that now he believed me, I laughed and calmed down.
I'm pregnant with number two and have been riding the roller coaster ride that is pregnancy. My husband describes it like PMS on steroids. The only point people haven't mentioned is that the same hormone issues can happen after the birth as they can take up to 3 months to settle down. Its worth every second but sometimes its hard to remember when I'm cooking at 3am because I "need" to.
YUP! My wife has long suffered from anxiety / panic attacks. With our first kid, my wife was like Jekyll and Hyde from shortly after she got pregnant until well after our son was born. As a few years went by she went from "promising divorce" screaming tantrums weekly to one every 2~3 months. If she had a hard day, they were almost guaranteed. Typically, she would start off by slamming or tossing things then escalate to screaming incredibly ridiculous accusations at me (almost funny later on but very stressful when trying to responsibly take care of work and family) and say she's never been happy with me and can't stand that we are still married, etc. Sometimes they escalated to having the police over. Usually 2 to 3 days later she would be calm and back to being my spouse and talking about our various plans for the future.
My wife is now at 27 weeks with kid #2 now, on bedrest, and she complains all the time. The smallest thing or comment will send her into a screaming rage at me (or my young kids from my previous marriage). Sometimes if I catch it right at the start I can distract / amuse her enough to diffuse it, but often I can't. Saying "ok" and then avoiding her sometimes works. Trying to calmly reason with her NEVER works, it only adds fuel to the fire, though I still sometimes do it as it makes me feel better. The kids sometimes try to hide, the youngest often cries. When I try to shield them, the trembling rage gets redirected towards me. Sometimes she will start throwing away little things that we just bought together. She will throw her wedding ring across the house too. I've been to the point where I have simply had enough and yelled back at her a few times with no short-term improvement but sometimes moderate improvement in her behavior a week later. During that week I am late to work because she will refuse to take the kids to school, and she'll take up smoking cigarettes again.
Recently she has made half-attempts to kick me out of our bedroom and my 6-year old out of the house. She will shut and lock the door, then when I get home from work find some of my possessions/clothes in the hallway or trash. I find this very offensive as we bought the house together and I bring home 2/3 of the finances. Now she's on bedrest and not working at all. Sometimes I sleep on the floor, sometimes I just go sleep on my side of the bed and ignore her. I told her it's my bedroom too and that she can leave if she wants, however, thinking about it, maybe I'll reconsider and just grant her the space for a month or two... or maybe even a few years.
Thanks for this blog and all the posts everyone, it has really helped me feel better!
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