Fetuses may have memories, make them good ones

I've always advocated that fathers should talk to their partner's pregnant belly. I practiced this extensively with our first child, carrying on daily monologues next to my wife's baby bump. Moments after my son was born I spoke to him and he instantly quieted and looked up at me. The reaction was significant enough that the nurses and doctor commented on it and asked if I had been talking to him all along. That brief moment made the months of mindless belly banter worthwhile.

Aside from my experience, there is new evidence that 30-week-old fetuses are able to "store information and retrieve it four weeks later." The study tested fetal reaction to acoustic stimulation and noted differences between groups which had and had not previously experienced the stimulation, signifying their memory of the stimulus.

In my non-scientific summation and application of this information, a fetus can learn the sound of its father's voice. It's a great way for both the father and the fetus to bond and, by experience, has a calming effect on a new born baby. Studies have shown that reactive listening can occur as early as 16 weeks gestational age, so talk soon and talk often.

An Alternative Drink for Pregnant Women with Gestational Diabetes

Most pregnant women will tell you that their taste buds aren't the same as they were pre-pregnancy. I've heard many times that the taste of water, and even an expectant mother's own saliva, can make her feel sick. Ginger ale drink is quite adept at settling an uncertain tummy, but the sugar content puts if off limits for women with gestational diabetes.

An 8 oz serving of most ginger ales has about 22 grams of sugars, or about 8% of your recommended daily intake. This adds up quickly with multiple servings and is a definite no-no for pregnant women suffering from gestational diabetes who must watch their dietary intake like a hawk.

If your partner is one of these unlucky women who has been placed on a restricted diet, yet can't stand water, a fantastic alternative is a naturally flavored sparkling water.

My wife loves the Poland Spring lime essence sparkling water; it tastes great and isn't overly flavored, has 0 grams of sugars and isn't loaded with suspect ingredients. Polar (if it's available in your area) has a similar offering and it's usually less expensive as well.

I actually really like the taste myself, which is good considering my fridge is now crammed with the stuff. Poland Spring has 4 flavor offerings as well as an original sparkling water. I'm sure other brands have similar offerings, just check the nutritional label to make sure there isn't any added sugar or artificial ingredients.

So expectant dads, why am I telling you this?It's your job to take care of her and help her feel better. Bringing home a feel-better alternative shows that you're thoughtful, you care about her comfort and her health. By proxy, this also shows that you care about your unborn child's health. Just remember to buy the plastic bottles; she's hormonal and may end up throwing them at you if she doesn't like the taste.

10 Ways To Help Pregnant Women Feel Better

Direct from the Almost A Dad reader survey, here's a list of 10 tried and true ways to help pregnant women feel better, physically and/or emotionally.

1. Back rub / foot massages. This topped the list as AaD reader's favorite way to help their pregnant partners feel better. Pregnant women are often sore and uncomfortable due to increased weight, dietary changes and the fatigue that comes with growing a baby. A massage is a fantastic way to help ease the tension in her neck, back and shoulders. Have her sit on a pillow or lay on her side to make sure she is comfortable and relaxed.

2. Ginger ale. A good old fashioned favorite, ginger has a settling effect on the stomach and can be served in a few different ways. If ingested for an upset tummy or nausea, serve warm and flat. If it just hits the spot, serve cold. Mix with cranberry juice and ice for a refreshing treat and some good vitamins.

3. Time alone / Time to relax. This cuts both ways so be careful; you don't want to leave her alone too long, but you don't want to smother her either. She is tired, hormonal and may need some time to think about all the upcoming changes in her life.

4. Certain foods. Food can be friend or foe to a pregnant woman depending on mood, trimester, health and a host of other factors. Find out what your pregnant partner likes and stock up so she can have it at a moment's notice. Try and find healthy snacks if your partner is at risk of gestational diabetes. Just be prepared that she will suddenly hate what she loved yesterday.

5. Talking. Pregnancy can be as confusing and scary as it is exciting. Pregnant women go through so many physical changes, which says nothing for all of the emotional and even logistical changes you both with encounter. In the face of such a massive life event is helps to have someone to talk to. Give her an attentive ear and share some feelings of your own.

6. Attention / Compliments. Attention and compliments do well even when she's not pregnant. Spend time with her and tell her how beautiful she is and what an amazing mother you think she'll be.

7. Helping her out as much as possible, tasks, chores. Household responsibilities shift during pregnancy, there's no way of getting around it. Expectant mothers tire quickly (physically and emotionally) and often feel poorly a fair percentage of the time. Start by transitioning the chores that involve any lifting or physical exertion. Branch out into the niceties that make it easier for her to relax like some extra cleaning or picking up. Remember that a pregnant woman should never change the cat box.

8. Constant apologies, whether right or wrong. While I don't think you need to become a whipping boy, taking a lighter tack towards proving a point and avoiding conflict with an hormonally charged woman isn't the worst approach in the world.

9. Letting her have her way all the time. I personally disagree with this to some extent, however it came up quite a bit. Like #8, I think that softening your approach and being accomodating is important, but if you totally bow down to every ridiculous whim you may find yourself ready to snap by the end of the pregnancy. It's about balance and understanding that her circumstance is effecting her emotionally. With that in mind, cater to her as much as you can, but preserve your own sanity as you go.

10. Playing it by ear. One reader who seems to have a good handle on what can be a volatile situation wrote "I find that just playing it by ear is best. If she clearly needs space, I give it. If she clearly needs a hug, I give it. If she clearly needs onion rings at midnight, I go out and find them."

And a bonus...

11. Exorcism... because sometimes it's safest to get out of the house for a couple of hours.

How long does a pregnancy last?

The length of a pregnancy may sound like a basic question, but one worth asking as there is often some confusion around it.

The length of a typical pregnancy is approximately:

- 38 weeks from time of conception

- 40 weeks from last menstrual period (or LMP as some call it)

Why are there two different lengths? 

Doctors use the LMP date as it is often the most solid point of reference. Many people don't know the actual date of conception, so the LMP allows for consistent comparisons from person to person amond medical professionals. The 38 week timeline is often referred to as the gestational age.

I thought a pregnancy was 9 months long? Isn't 9 months 36 weeks?

Well, it is 9 months, but the average month is 4.3 weeks long, not 4.

- (52 weeks / 12 months = 4.333 weeks per month.)  

- 4.333 weeks x 9 months = 38.99 weeks

So 9 months is just about the average of the 38 and 40 week numbers.

 To sum up, doctors talk about pregnancy on a 40 week timeline, the actual gestational time is about 38 weeks. All the being said, there are some variances in baby due date accuracy.

How accurate are home pregnancy tests?

Now that you have (or have not) seen a couple of blue lines on a home pregnancy test, you may be asking yourself just how accurate are pee-on-a-stick home pregnancy tests, anyway? 

For those of you who are flipping out right now and can't really focus, read the bulleted items below. For those of you who can concentrate, continue reading below for more of an explanation.

1. Most pregnancy tests claim to be 99%+ accurate.

2. Pregnancy tests should be taken in the morning, with the day's first urination. hCG,  the marker detected in home pregnancy test is most concentrated in the urine at that point, increasing the likelihood for an accurate result.

3. Take at least two home pregnancy tests several days apart. You're most likely to get an accurate result over the course of two or three tests spaced several days apart. This will help eliminate false negatives due to low hCG levels, and false positives due to faulty tests, improper use or other factors.

4. The longer you wait to take a test, the more likely it will be accurate. Aim for 1 week after a missed period. Again, hCG levels are more likely to be at sufficiently detectable levels in the case of pregnancy.

5. False negatives are more common than false positives. You're more likely to be told you're not pregnant when you really are, but false positives are also possible due to a number of factors.

So for some more explanation.

Home pregnancy test work by detecting hCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin) in a woman's urine.  hCH is a "glyco protein hormone made by the developing embryo soon after conception," so its presence is a good way of detecting pregnancy. The tests are essentially dumb, all they can do is measure hCG and turn a color.

The answer on most boxes is that they are 97% -99%+ accurate. I am skeptical of this as that 99% claim is based on a lab trials, not on aggregate real world use.  False negatives are more common than false positives, but both are possible due to a number of factors. 

Knowing that, it is essential to take the test at the proper time to optimize your results. (See # 2, 3, 4 above.) Some tests claim to determine pregnancy even before a woman has missed her first period. While this may be true, I would argue that one is more likely to have a false-negative (the test says you're not pregnant when you actually are) if taken very early as hCG levels are still very low at that point.   hCG levels increase rapidly in pregnant women, roughly doubling every couple of days. With that in mind, it makes sense that the longer you wait to take a home pregnancy test, the more likely you are to have an accurate result. 

I know that it is often incredibly difficult to wait that long to find out, so if you do take an early test you should follow up with at least one more in another few days.

Always follow the instructions on the box exactly, and good luck whatever the result.

Pregnancy Quotes - understanding pregnant women

I came across a quote about pregnancy that may provide some insight for expectant fathers on why pregnant women may not seem themselves.


"Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside."

- Rita Rudner

Pregnant women just don't feel themselves and strange things are happening. I'd be irritable if I got kicked in the stomach all the time. Aside from that, consider even some basic logistics; they're getting large and immobile, they have to pee every 5 minutes and don't have the energy to walk to walk to the bathroom. That alone would drive me nuts.

Check out some more pregnancy quotes.

Books for Babies

Reading to a baby from a very early age is one of the best things you can do for your child. While it may seem strange to read to someone who has no comprehension of what you're saying, it is at the very least time well spent together. Reading also helps form a bond between parent and child, as they develop familiarity with your voice and become comforted by it. 

As your child grows slightly older, they will begin to appreciate the pictures and shapes in the books. Black and white pictures are good for the very young who can't yet distinguish colors. Goodnight Moon, for example, has both color and black and white illustrations, so it's a good transitional book. 

When they get just a little bit older, it becomes part of a ritual and source of enjoyment. Kids are able to crawl away and may seem uniterested, but the first few lines of their favorite bedtime story bring them scampering back.

Long story short, it's never too soon to start reading to your kids. It's especially important for dads who need to take every opportunity to engage their children. A while back I wrote a post on Fatherhood Matters about parents' top 50 children's books. I thought it is worth mentioning here on Almost A Dad because if you're expecting, you might be stocking up ahead of time. 

I'm Going to Run Away, Noisy Nora, Bedtime for Frances and Where the Wild Things Are were favorites of both me and my brother. My son loves Goodnight Moon, Guess How Much I Love You, I Love My Daddy and Max's Halloween. Check out the post for the full list, or the cool spinny widget thingy below for a few of them.