Expectant fathers, help me help you ~ Almost a dad

Expectant fathers, help me help you

I get tons of great comments on posts from expectant fathers. I love them because I get to learn a lot about other guys' pregnancy experiences and it's good just to hear people's opinions. Please keep them coming.


If there is something I haven't covered or you just want a sounding board to see if your experience is unique, please leave a comment on this post. I want to hear your questions, concerns or battle scars you have as an expectant father and I'll do my best to shed some light on the topic.

Continue to leave comments on other posts as well, but if you have questions or want to hear more about something specific, this is your place.
Thanks,
Bill

26 comments:

Kate C said...

I am truly lucky, my boyfriend is not only going to be an amazing dad, but he is also wonderfully supportive and can somehow manage to negotiate his way around my more psychotic moments. Little things like him saying that I have to remember that I am not in this on my own, that we are a team, or just cuddling me when I'm crying about the fact I have just gone nuts for no reason really makes me love him even more that I already did!

Almost a Dad is wonderful, I like reading it when I'm having an irrational moment, it really helps to know I'm not the only one, and it was fun sharing it with the almost dad so that he could see other war stories!

Mya Maternity said...

I think the small things that men do are great and do not go unnoticed. There are many great expectant fathers out there.

Anonymous said...

Hello! Thank you very much for this Blog. It helps me a lot. Whenever I am frustrated with my wife, I just hop on here, read a bit, and laugh.

Now to my current issue, we are 8mo along now and about to have a baby shower this weekend and next (one for family and one for friends). We have been trying to come to common ground on what car seat to buy. She wants to get the one that her "sister's friend's brother's wife" recommends. Which just happens to one that is very highly approved on Consumer Reports. That's great! And I have no problem buying that one but I want to make sure we don't have to skimp on other things because we spent a ridiculous amount on the car seat, so I am trying to find a deal with the combo stroller/car seat. The one I found is rated just below the one she wanted and is half the price. Now I'm in trouble because I'm "cheap"... *Sigh*....... So, today I find the perfect deal with the car seat she wants and the stroller in a package. However, just before I sent her the email with the deal, she got told that someone else is giving her the car seat she wanted at the shower. So damn, I'm still in trouble. I just can't win... I have been ready to buy everything and anything that we need but we can't until after the shower. That has been the story of this entire pregnancy, which is our first and was a surprise. We are both settled in our careers and ready to have a family so its a blessing, but we just weren't expecting it. This experience really makes me wonder if I want to have another child after this one. I just don't know if I'd rather deal with another pregnancy or throw myself off a bridge.

I'm sure this is going to read like a complete ramble because I am multitasking by chewing pencils out of frustration and typing this at the same time.

Thanks for reading,
"I just can't win..."

Jess said...

Excellent post. I want to thank you for this informative read, I really appreciate sharing this great post. Keep up your work.

jdbeattie said...

thank you. I really love this blog. It helps me and my partner to relate and know we are not crazy and mishandling our situation. please keep more posts coming.

Sonia said...

I wanted to thank you for this great read!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post...

Anonymous said...

I'm so pissed off at my guy friends with kids!!! Nobody, and I mean not one person warned me about this crazy angry wife thing! She is my best friend and soul mate, but we are always one wrong move from full on warfare. I have a honey-do list with near 100 things on it, I'm not talking sweep the porch, it's paint the interior of the house (she can't help or be around it) put down new floors, build an upstairs bathroom etc... Wtf?

Anonymous said...

I completely understand that my pregnant wife's energy levels are not what they were before, but is there any way without being murdered to try to bring up her exercising a little more. Even if it's just a casual walk or anything, I just believe in the benefits to her to stay active especially as she begins to gain weight in the months up ahead.

how to cook lamb said...

Here’s to keeping yourself in check for a healthy lymphatic system and vibrant, fresh, raw and radiant health!

Anonymous said...

im only with my girl 3 months she is 6 weeks pregnant. This crazy pregnant woman thing is freaking me out. Im learning not to engage and respond to her personal attacks. Though im left feeling all alone of a night when its at its worst. In the morning it will be as if nothing has happened. I better log off now and shut down my computer before she sees me and accuses me of spending my life on the computer.

Anonymous said...

I've started to learn to just roll over and take it, when i get personally attacked. Who knew being pregnant made you not only moody but completely unaware of anything you're saying or doing and a complete hypocrite. But i love her to death, when she gets mad or upset i just pick up my guitar and strum and sing it out. Luckily the first trimester is almost over and the second one is supposed to be much easier. I do everything i can do comfort her make her meals and tea and rub her back and tuck her in and let her have all the covers at night, it just seems to go unnoticed most of the time.

Anonymous said...

here goes :(

me and my ex r expecting in December but we r not together anymore because she said she doesn't want a relationship with me - it's so hard to deal with bcoz before we found out we were so in love and talking about getting engaged n stuff n then one day she ends it - so much has happened to her on the past with her last ex cheating on her and telling her he didn't want the baby and then she had to give birth to a still born, it's absolutey devasteded her, I understand completely and don't know what to do or if she will have a change of heart once the hormones chill down a bit - any help or past advise would be greatly appreciated thanks for reading

Anonymous said...

2nd trimester will be over next week, my driving style has changed, I am emerging as a more deciplined & responsible person & tense as well....

Tyring to fullfill her demands of eating sandwiches at 3 am in the morning & to chat with her since ...

Anonymous said...

Love reading your work!

I'm 6 months pregnant and my boyfriend and I have been having issues with porn. I tried to look back a few years to see if you had written on the subject. Any insight would be great! Thank you!!

Timothy Roberts said...

I got in a fight in the middle of walmart with my wife today. She wants to buy all the clothes and things and is only 2 months. We don't even know if its a boy or a girl so I tell her not to buy anything till we find out. She throws a temper tantrum and now her mom is yelling at me saying I treat her daughter like crap. I just want to crawl in a hole and stay there for 7 more months. This was a mild day.

Shaun Gordon said...

8 weeks along and all I can say is "Wow", feeling the punches left, right and centre... I love my lady with all my heart, more so now that she is the mother of our first.

But damn!!! I really don't think anyone can understand unless they have gone through it, she is Angel the one moment and then Satan the next.

Everybody carries on about the pregnant lady being sore, tired and sick what I think most people fail to recognise is that the dad to be gets turned into a punching bag and is expected just to take it without any cracks showing....

*Sighs*

Shaun Gordon said...

8 weeks along and all I can say is "Wow", feeling the punches left, right and centre... I love my lady with all my heart, more so now that she is the mother of our first.

But damn!!! I really don't think anyone can understand unless they have gone through it, she is Angel the one moment and then Satan the next.

Everybody carries on about the pregnant lady being sore, tired and sick what I think most people fail to recognise is that the dad to be gets turned into a punching bag and is expected just to take it without any cracks showing....

*Sighs*

AY Carumba! said...

My wife is 3 months pregnant and just ate a little bit of chocolate mousse that my mother served after dinner tonight. A guest had brought it over last night, and neither my wife nor my mom realized that it contained raw egg and a touch of whiskey.

It has been 8 hours and my wife has not stopped freaking out about it. She forced herself to vomit immediately, which I thought was unnecessary because of the small amount she had consumed. I tried calming her down by saying that every woman eats one or two things that are considered unsafe during pregnancy and their babies turn out just fine, but it's not helping. I know she is overreacting, but I can't find a way to make her realize it. Whatever I do/say is just making it worse.

She is mad at herself for eating the mousse, mad at my mother for serving it to her without thinking about what ingredients make up the mousse, and most of all she's mad at me for trying to calm her down.

I know that pregnant women are hard to deal with but AY carumba!

hewhomustnotbefullnamed said...

Ive only just recently been shown this blog and it is absolutely fantastic! It just shows that me and my girlfriend are having a normal pregnancy together! Ive been worried for her as she is tired a lot, stressing over everything and im just trying to re-assure her that everything is fine and that it is normal to be like this. at times i am her arch enemy hailing from the planet dafty in her eyes but will always make sure that she is completely ok no matter what, and that is what i see this blog to be showing other fathers-to-be that it will be hard and yeah its gonna be tough but we are that night in shining armor disguised as the being of the underworld in our loving other halfs eyes and it does help reading all this plus it is pretty funny reading other peoples opinions!

Anonymous said...

My wife of 5 years who I love whole heartedly is 23 weeks pregnant and boy oh boy has it been a ride so far. She has always been a little obsessive about things like a bit of mess, or how things are done like the dishes, I even irritated her on occasion and we bickered quite a bit, but we always worked it out eventually and sometimes even laughed about it, normal stuff really. But since she has been pregnant ( this is our first ), omg ! She is unbelievable !! She gets mad about everything even when it makes no sense, she thinks I am out to upset her, put her down, plus I don't respect her or understand, when I say I understand, ' I DON'T UNDERSTAND !!! ', I think my breathing irritates her. She says she hates me and does not want to be with me, but will say later that she loves me more than anything. I have been doing most of the work in the house but she trashes what I've done most times. I try to do everything right and tip toe round her but when she is on the hunt, she will find anything to get mad about, I bite my tongue but she goes on and on and on, if I say anything in my defence I get ' Your so wicked ! Fighting with me ! Do you like fighting with a pregnant woman? You hurt me inside ' I think I am going crazy sometimes, because she only gets mad at me, I appear to be the only source of irritation. The woman I love is still there drowning in hormones, I know I see her sometimes and we have a ball. Reading comments on here helps, ' I am not alone ! Praise the lord' . So I hope this helps others . Stay strong, it will be worth it. Or so they say !

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post as I find this to be a life saver! My wife is now 10 weeks pregnant and let me tell you, it's starting to be quite difficult! For the past month or so I just can't have a conversation with her anymore. She gets so easily defensive and if course I am always wrong. If she doesn't have it her way she gets upset. End result we've spent the past 2-3 weeks barely talking to each other. Because when she's not at work, and not arguing with me, she's asleep! She sleeps all the time and barely has the energy to do anything around the house anymore let alone complain about me! So I continue doing all I did before(cooking, cleaning, preparing lunches, groceries, dishes) and more of the rest now. And the sex is gone! 10 weeks + only 3 times.......No intimacy, no proximity, nothing....I've become at best a roommate she just can't stand and argues with over nothing!
Please tell me that this a "typical" first trimester thing b/c I am seriously loosing patience! And please don't give me the " she's going through so much changes" excuses...b/c I understand that but that doesn't warrant being completely impossible like that! We're in this together!
Frederick.

Anonymous said...

No you're not alone as I'm going through the same thing....at 10 weeks!

Jacob Mosby said...

My ex girlfriend now she ended it 2 weeks ago she is 15 weeks pregnant and since she became pregnant its like she doesn't care for me at all and even stated that once she started thinking about forever after she got pregnant she didn't see me in that picture idk if its hormones or what but please go read my blogs as well and help me out guys. But I feel your pain as well as this is hard stuff to deal with.

Anonymous said...

Wow.. I Am pregnant 33 weeks..but I don't act like that to my husband ..Is true that I Had one week when I Could feel my anger getting out of me but l talked to my doctor about it..and of course my husband was there and he told us that is normal ..as long as I am not depressed or anything ... is not even healthy for the baby to be so stressed for nothing...The best thing to do for your wife is to buy a maternity notebook or journal..where she should write about her moods. I have one from my doctor..I have to write everyweek about my emotions regarding the baby..my moods, my worries, everything..
You need to talk with your wife that is not healthy to be that stressed..hate..anger it shouldn t even be mentioned when your pregnant..you re making a new life ,a baby,that baby should be grown with love,care ,hapiness..pregnancy is not a disease...your baby needs to develop with love.Yes they are so many changes but this is the process for a new life ..is not an excuse for a pregnant woman or her husband...life is hard enough ..why.such a beautiful processit becomes so ugly?.yes this process is long and hard but the final result is amazing..it s pure love.

Anonymous said...

I haven't read anything about this so I'll post it. Wife is 5 or 6 weeks in, we have been together 5 years, married for 6 months. We never have any issues, perfect relationship, best friends, etc. But lately she is really bossy and naggy. Those are probably the two things I hate the most in a woman as well, so it is very hard to deal with.

RG said...

Omg. Where to begin.
I don't deal well with crazy. I've managed for 37 years to avoid it or run from it. Now I cant. She wasn't crazy before. She is now. I get no love. Not sex, but none there either. I mean love. Any thing resembling the like. I don't know why I even did this. We haven't been together long at all. I've been around the block a few time, and then some. Is this crazy behavior, waking up hating me ect normal?