On a regular basis I talk to my wife's pregnant belly. And yes, I do realize how ridiculous I look but I don't really care. In fact, I relish the ridiculous and often embellish it with the gift of song. I would now like to share with you one of my recent masterpieces.
Classless, yes. Offensive, slightly. Waiting for his arrival is killing me and this is the level to which I've regressed.
This is a song about birth, sung to the tune of The Jeffersons theme song.
Well he's a movin' on down, (movin' on down),
To the south side
through a deluxe compartment, in her thi-i-ighs.
He's a movin' on down,
To the south side,
He finally gets to see to whats outside.
Gotta get past the cervix,
Down through that birth canal
Takes a whole lot of tryin'
Just to come join this world
Now we're waitin' for our child,
Just can't wait for that.
As long as we live, it's you and me baby,
There ain't nothin' wrong with that.
Well he's a movin' on down, (movin' on down),
To the south side
through a deluxe compartment, in her thi-i-ighs.
3 comments:
In the delivery room we had my laptop continue playing the classical music that Mummee was playing to her belly via headphones for months before the due date...
That may have helped relax the baby too much, as she was some 5 days overdue!
A Daddee
www.daddeeyah.com
I think we can all agree that this is not only a classic, but pure brilliance.
I've tried to get into the talking to the belly thing. I lack nothing in the silliness department so its not feeling foolish, but I've just never really been able to get into it. My attempts usually go like this.
Um Hi baby Simone.... Soooo.... What have you been up to lately? Kicking the crap out of mom? You don't say. Well between you and I, you should give that routine a rest and let her sleep.
Then I'm pretty much out of things to say.
Perhaps I'll give your song a try.
Hey Bill,
You haven't posted my comment to you yet and its been over a day. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and speculate that there is a great new reason for that. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.
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